Swinging Vs Polyamory

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I would say that swinging is most definitely very different from a poly relationship, I find swinging more hedonistic, much more about mutual pleasure than the emotional connection you can find with a polygamous relationship.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Swinging means you can fuck with our partners but dont get into their heads....there is no emotional bond. Swinging the primary relationship is the primary consideration. Couples in a primary relationship which are independant of others in all ways. Poly is the opposite? there is a emotional bond there is no such thing as the primary relationship. All are equal? Thinking that thru wow! Can society laws handle that the ....eg splitting of assets by law when it fails....Sounds like a dumb road in the long term! Just to get some extra sex.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I may be mistaken but that sounds more like polygamy, where there are 2 more more "spouses". Obviously with the law as it is, a polygamous relationship cannot be recognised and as such, I have no idea how they would deal with the financial aspects to a break up.Polyamory as I interpret it within my relationship is the scope and freedom to have feelings for another and, quoting from Wikipedia, "The defining characteristic of polyamory is belief in the possibility of, and value of, multiple romantic loving relationships carried out "with the knowledge and consent of all partners concerned." What distinguishes polyamory from traditional forms of non-monogamy (i.e. cheating) is an ideology that openness, goodwill, intense communication, and ethical behavior should prevail among all the parties involved.".So, is swinging with its lack of emotional bond just a 'safe' form of non-monogamy where there is freedom to engage physically but emotional connection is restricted for fear of damaging the primary relationship? I can see the advantages. I too have fear at times that my partner may prefer to move into a full time relationship with another rather than with me but if I try to eliminate that fear by restricting our interactions with others, surely all I am doing is trying to control my partner (therefore our relationship) and I don't believe control should form part of on open and honest relationship. If what you say is true, I would also suggest that many swinging couples when stating that they feel no jealousy have an unwriten caveat that true 'emotional connection" is excluded. And, I do know that when my partner returns to me having been given absolute freedom to engage with another both physically and emotionally, it is an amazing feeling and whenever either of us has interacted with another, we have learnt and grown from the exerience.Swinging means you can fuck with our partners but dont get into their heads....there is no emotional bond. Swinging the primary relationship is the primary consideration. Couples in a primary relationship which are independant of others in all ways. Poly is the opposite? there is a emotional bond there is no such thing as the primary relationship. All are equal? Thinking that thru wow! Can society laws handle that the ....eg splitting of assets by law when it fails....Sounds like a dumb road in the long term! Just to get some extra sex. Quoting 'JustEnough' Swinging means you can fuck with our partners but dont get into their heads....there is no emotional bond. Swinging the primary relationship is the primary consideration. Couples in a primary relationship which are independant of others in all ways. Poly is the opposite? there is a emotional bond there is no such thing as the primary relationship. All are equal? Thinking that thru wow! Can society laws handle that the ....eg splitting of assets by law when it fails....Sounds like a dumb road in the long term! Just to get some extra sex.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Can you handle the emotional damage that may occur ? i think your either one or the other ..

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'JustEnough' Swinging means you can fuck with our partners but dont get into their heads....there is no emotional bond. Swinging the primary relationship is the primary consideration. Couples in a primary relationship which are independant of others in all ways. Poly is the opposite? there is a emotional bond there is no such thing as the primary relationship. All are equal? Thinking that thru wow! Can society laws handle that the ....eg splitting of assets by law when it fails....Sounds like a dumb road in the long term! Just to get some extra sex. I agree with your first paragraph, but from there you get a bit closed-minded. I think the concept of polyamory is not for getting 'extra' sex... that's what swinging is for. You're right though - society isn't exactly set up to cope with anything more complicated than a couple (preferably one of each sex please), so I wonder what the bank manager says when you say you need a third box for your other 'partner'. But it's a lifestyle choice that may work for some (maybe long hair and hippy music helps - dunno) - swinging isn't so much a lifestyle choice as a hobby I think. . In answer to the OP question - I suspect the aversion you are sensing is because you make no link to your honestly open relationship by pointing to your wife's or couple's profile... so those suspicious will assume you are in an open relationship (but you just haven't told your wife yet).

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  poly - many, amory - love. Polyamory comes with an emotional attachment. Swinging is just casual sex.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  People who "just" swing often don't get open-relationships, just like non swingers don't get swinging. I would also say that there is a difference between open relationships and poly relationships. For example we have an open relationship but our relationship is our primary relationship and takes priority. We do not love the other people we play with, like we do with each other. However with poly the love between all parties is more equal. poly relationship are about a togetherness where open relationships are often about a separate sort of thing ie each partner playing/engaging with others without their primary partner. Open relationships to some people mean that there is something missing from the primary relationship, or they are out to steal some one else's partners. In regards to why people are averse to interacting with people in open relationships we have never really found this, we have found people interested in why but always willing to interact. That said when Mr sexycountrycpl has tried to play one his own a lot of women have assumed he is cheating. However he found a lot of success in meeting females from other swinging couples - probably because he is very good in bed and with his tongue.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'Jean_Girard' In answer to the OP question - I suspect the aversion you are sensing is because you make no link to your honestly open relationship by pointing to your wife's or couple's profile... so those suspicious will assume you are in an open relationship (but you just haven't told your wife yet). Interesting thought, you may well be right. Obviously to me, my profile makes it quite clear that I am in a relationship and here with the full knowledge and blessing of my partner but I suppose when (women particularly) are trawling through the many contacts they receive, anything suspicious will be destined for the file marked BIN. It would be interesting to hear other peoples thoughts.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'Jean_Girard' I agree with your first paragraph, but from there you get a bit closed-minded. I think the concept of polyamory is not for getting 'extra' sex... that's what swinging is for. Jean, the question was asked on a site where the primary objective is sex with others ....Duh! Hows your studies on tree frogs going? Do keep us informed. On the "closed minded stuff" To suggest that someone else is close minded is demostrating their narrow mind thinking? We both Love your photo most guys on RHP do, and maybe we get together the wife with her strap giving while I enjoy your recieving Bum....see we both like giving Anal, and think yours is number one for recieving the way you advertise it yummmmm You bring the sauce bottles and glad wrap

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'mrpollux' So, is swinging with its lack of emotional bond just a 'safe' form of non-monogamy . We will leave it to you to answer that....who are we? For us, we swing because its fun we both enjoy together we are 30 yrs plus into our marrage

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  to me Polyamory means loving more than one... as opposed to swinging which is rooting more than one. Clearly and unequivocally a dude can be in love with two people at once. I stand here testament to the fact... in love with one from each gender.Swinging, on the other hand, doesn't necessarily carry the same emotional connections.Well, that's what I think.HugsStalky

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  Mr_MrsJones

  15 years ago

  People have this insatiable need to put things in boxes. So we all have to fit into a neat little box. Are we monogamists?, are we swingers, are we polygamists, are we polyamourists etc, etc. The problem with that is, life is never neat, or organised, and it refuses to stay in a box. So we get a lot of stuff that looks like swinging but has a bit of polyamoury thrown in. Then we get stuff that looks like polyamoury but could be considered to be more like swinging. At the end of the day all anyone wants is to be happy and so where we draw the line will be different for everyone. Differnet people will have different names for the same thing and people's opinions of things will be coloured by many things. For some there is enough love to go around freely and they are comfortable enough to live that way. For others the security of THE ONE is essential for their mental health. So with all that in mind why are people cautious about interaction? I will answer for myself as that is all I can do. I believe strongly in the polyamourist ideal, and in honest, open relationships. Mr Jones is less enthusiastic about the concept but he is getting there with it. I have had some bad experiences with people who don't get the honesty part. and so these days I am more cautious about jumping in feet first. Mrs Jones xx

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Well said Mrs Jones

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  He was born , he lived , he died..Life is not that simple , yet we ,as the good folk of the world, like simple answers. .We like to label people and we like them to fit into little boxes that we can identify easily. We also like to like certain boxes and thier contents, and if we dont , we get (oh so secretly) worried and criticize those that don't fit our way of thinking or our way of recognising or essentially the little boxes we have designed and feel comfortable with..Poly / swinging and this multi partner life style is NO different. We feel comfortable doing what we do , how we do it and are not really sure about others that do it differently.Most people get to a level they are comfortable with and from thier hold on to that for security. I am no exception..It is impossible to label everyone and have them perfectly fit a schedule. There is no one perfect definition as to how you fit into this lifestyle I would suggest. I would also suggest that the best way forward is to consider chatting to your own partner or partners and discuss what you all feel comfortable with then work out from thier what best suits you all. I feel labels get you no where..A book I really enjoyed on this topic is "opening up" may give you some ideas as to how you and yours can work with this..Brae ......... who is decidedly horny this afternoon. .

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