F52
Loyalty Tests on partners
February 28 2024
1. Is it emotionally abusive and manipulative, insecure behavour?
2. Is it a gamble?
3. Is it OK to do?
Thoughts?
Ms Foxy
NOTE: I've never thought about doing one as It makes me feel uncomfortable just thinking about it. I've never been in a situation to even go there.
Comments
RHP User
2 months ago
Hey Foxy!
1. Absolutely. It's clearly gaslighting and shows a fundamental distrust and suspicion of the other person.
2. From the perspective of the one "testing" the other, it's a lose/lose. Either your partner is susceptible to cheating, or you just created a total fabrication and lied to your partner showing how insecure and untrust worthy you are. No to mention your inability to communicate openly.
3. I think it's pretty obvious where i stand, but no its not ok. Can it expose someone who gives in to temptation? Yes. But it also passes over things that may be contributing to the susceptibility like lack of communication or other problems in the relationship. It's like leaving a cookie on a kids table before dinner and scolding them when they eat it.
If someone feels like they need to do a "loyalty test" they need to have a conversation with their partner AND THEMSELVES about what loyalty means to them. Fabricating a scenario for someone to fail at is entrapment.Sawadee
2 months ago
This really got me thinking ? First thing that came to mind is if you're wanting to do a " loyality test " are you not already suspecting cheating going on.. ?
Second ' If theres no cheating happening and a person is being accused , then yes ' it is untrustworthy and emotionally abusive ..
So yes ' to want to go there without any substance certainly shows a fair amount of insecurity...
Thats my take , maybe someone can explain this better..RHP User
2 months ago
My only thought is if somebody wanted or felt they needed to do some kind of loyalty test. They shouldn't be in that relationship full stop.
CrouchingTiger
2 months ago
My girlfriend broke up with me in 1991, it came as shock. This was High School real deal, long phone calls from the pay phone, hand written poems, and heaps of other embarrassingly lame acts.
Turns out she was testing me to see how I'd respond 🙄
countrytouch82
2 months ago
Reminds me of an old radio prank scenario, which you can find the audio of on YT, search for "Andy Savage radio affair". Basically the same setup. A quite old recording quality with this one.
Respectful83
2 months ago
Hello forums .
This saying comes to mind for me :
'A thief always accuses others of stealing '
fun2behere
2 months ago
Babooshka
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6xckBwPdo1c
RagnarPrime
2 months ago
It’s an act of personal insecurity. You doubt something about yourself, probably subconsciously.
If you’re not sure someone loves you or is being disloyal to you then ask them.
Abs and I have chats about where we are as a team at times and occasionally we both don’t feel as in love with the other if at all. Usually because business or life has distracted and we’ve drifted. But even the recognition of that can start the process of communicating better etc…
Disloyalty isn’t just cheating btw. Feeling like someone is being disloyal could be them not prioritising you versus other life priorities or not being as in love with you as you are them at that juncture in the relationship.RHP User
2 months ago
How do you propose to do a loyalty test
My partner early on arranged a meet with a supposed client that booked a job in. When I turned up she seduced me into sleeping with her which is where our open relationship started
boobsandbusted
2 months ago
I think if someone is considering this , something is already wrong just fepends on which paddock has the problem
Mr b
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