F45
Still on if it's not on?
June 16 2015
Is there ever a situation outside of a relationship where you would decide / have decided to stop using protection with others? If so what are the criteria you use to make that decision?
I'm not talking here about couples who have been together for awhile and eventually decide to forego protection with each other, but about FWB / FB / other more casual arrangements and partners.
Comments
RHP User
9 years ago
I have mostly used protection, but there have been occasions where I just relied on my instincts to guide me. On those occasions, the behaviour of the woman I was about to have sex with was a key determinant on whether I would use protection or not, but on each occasion we discussed it.
For example, If a woman was too eager or appeared too promiscuous then my instincts would tell me that she might engage in risky sex often and therefore I needed to be careful. Other things like if she drinks heavily or has a compulsive personality are also warning signs for meRHP User
9 years ago
Only if you are exclusive or monogamous with each other I think. If you are in a serious relationship where you play with other people... I suppose regular testing is the way to go if you forgoe condoms. If a bi Partner was having unprotected anal sex then I would continue with them condoms. Life is a risk.
Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Nope.
Never.RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Nope.
Never. What if you with the person for 5 years?RHP User
9 years ago
As I trust people when they tell me they are clean. I always divulge to partners who don't want to use a condom that I also have sex with others without a condom, and it's their choice. CHOICE! I choose to have faith and trust.
Now that you are all judging me, I'd like to explain why I don't always use condoms. I am bisexual, and regularly engage in group sex with women and toys etc. You are just as likely to get an STI from a girl as a guy, and a dental dam is, 1000% worse than a condom. Takes away all the pleasure, I love the taste of a woman!
Now, I get tested every 3 months, sometimes extra if anyone has any alarming symptoms(I consider all I sleep with friends, so we are in communication on these things!) And after 2 years of swinging, and yes I do fuck a lot, I have never had an STI/D.
Mabey I'm just lucky, mabey I'm just good at trusting my instinct. Coz I do use condoms with single guys and certain couples, unless they are respected in the group of people I play with the most.
But I also engage in other risky activities, such as horse riding, swimming in the ocean and taking the bus late at night! I live on the edge.....RHP User
9 years ago
I always put a condom on strappy.
RHP User
9 years ago
So people use toys from one person to another without cleaning them first! :O
RHP User
9 years ago
.. but a evil nessessity.. Certainly deadens the sensations and takes away from the romance for sure.. Can't beat the natural feel of skin to skin.. for her and him... There are a few FBs who I trust but anyone new it's the balloon or no party... So tempting at times to throw caution to the wind and just penetrate . But fear of the unknown kicks in and keeps you in check..
RHP User
9 years ago
Mutually tested allows for the element of protection that would not need condoms. There is also the frequency of encounters, each encounter increases the probability of cross infection, condoms or not, there is a point at which protection offers no advantage. Sleep with a person 100 time and no amount of protection will change the odds of cross infection. Though for peace of mind getting tested is the only way to ensure personal safety for an ongoing partnership, that and honesty.
In the end it is peace of mind is more the issue for most, actual risk seems on the most part irrelevant, believing one is safe reduces stress, and anything that reduces stress is worth while, even in a fools paradise.RHP User
9 years ago
I had an ex-girlfriend who was allergic to latex. We were friends for a long time and started sleeping together. I trusted her when she asked me not to use a condom. If it wasn't someone I knew so well I would have been very cautious
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
9 years ago
I only fear one thing getting hiv. If you have sex for long enough without using condoms and enough times then the chances increase. I do not think it is worth risking I would prefer to use condoms. I can't really tell the difference and I still get pleasure from sex.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
9 years ago
I stopped using them after six months with my last boyfriend but would only do it if we were not seeing other people.
RHP User
9 years ago
The ironic thing is, the one std that is currently running rampant is herpies( type 1 and type 2), which a condom does nothing to stop from spreading as it is transfered skin to skin and not always on the penis.usually on the pubic area (or mouth)which isnt covered by a condom anyway. And its one std that once you have it,you aint getting rid of it. We had a thread on it last yr I think. Apparently 1 in 8 ppl have it in usa, if I remember correctly.
RHP User
9 years ago
You're somewhere near the mark willow... Any idea how many deaths or Total Permanant Disabilities it causes each year ? Hp xo Because you're worth it...
RHP User
9 years ago
I usually only forego protection with my partner, but we didn't use any the last time we slept with another couple.That was the 4th time we had slept with them, and they were using protection with the other couples they encountered.We trust them, and we all get checked regularly so I don't see the harm in that instance.
Bazingal
9 years ago
Quoting 'Jay_me' above
Especially in this lifestyle.I will not take any unnecessary risks (haha: Uni on the bus late at night). I think it comes down to honesty and trust with your partner, fwb, fb But at the end of the day I am the ONLY ONE responsible for MY sexual health.Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' What if you with the person for 5 years?
Haven't hit "5 years"...... but through 2 1/2 within an exclusive relationship.... even then.... its a no.
But there were the occasional product-fail moments in that time.... but the clear intentions as always to use condoms.
Thats just how I am.RHP User
9 years ago
I would never have casual sex with a guy without a condom. Mr and I have been together for over 3 years now so we don't use them between us but when we are swinging with others he's under strict instructions from me to use them with other women and I will not have sex with another man without them. Yes this is to reduce the risk of an STD to some extent but for me the main reason I use condoms is because I do not want kids and I am totally petrified of ever falling pregnant. I am on the pill but have never completely trusted it so I do not have sex without a condom with any men with the exception of Mr but even then we ALWAYS do the pull out method as well and If I have taken any medication or anything that interacts with the pill I will not have sex again until I know I am safe, this includes swinging with others during this time. If for any reason I think I'm at risk of failed contraception I go straight to the chemist and get the morning after pill (although thankfully this has only happen twice in 3 years).
I am bi-sexual however and agree with Unicorn 100% in that I do not use dams with women as it completely takes away from the enjoyment of being with another woman and there is no risk of pregnancy so I allow myself a little more freedom there (however Mr has to use a condom if we are having a threesome). There is always a risk having sex with anyone male or female it's about trusting your instincts. I played as a single girl on RHP when I was 19-22 and had lots of sex in that time and got tested regularly and never picked anything up, I always took the time to get to know potential partners first and I think this also has something to do with it rather than playing with someone 24 hours or less after first contact.
Taby xxRHP User
9 years ago
Some women love a hot steamy load deep inside. Some like the feel of it running slowly out as the day progresses. Sliding cock into wet pussy feels one billion times better without the rain coat. There is a lot to be said for the spontaneity of natural sex.
There are far worse things you can get from kissing, with the influenza season on right now, killing or permanently debilitating many more healthy adults in any year that all the STI in Australia combined.
Personally treating a long term sexual partner like a disease riddled bio hazard kind of takes away from the concept of mutual respect, that is just me, I am a little strange. I dont go around putting on a fresh latex glove for every hand I shake or each door nob I touch.
I take my sexual health very seriously. Just had an all clear yet again. The first step in protecting ones self and your lovers is knowledge. I have to say that for the vast majority of people I meet they have no clue what the risks are or how protection (condoms) actually reduce risk.
There are more vaccine preventable diseases diagnosed in Australia every year than STI and they kill children.You are several orders of magnitude (100 times plus) more likely to die in any year from a infection caught by kissing than from having unprotected sex. I don't understand why there is so much fear of STI yet we never consider a mask when we go out in public. Guess condoms are the "responsible" thing to do while you spread destruction on every breath. Nuts I say Nuts.RHP User
9 years ago
I have had the HPV vaccine
HPV stands for human papillomavirus.Genital HPV is a very common sexually transmitted infection which usually causes no symptoms and goes away by itself, but can sometimes cause serious illness. HPV is responsible for:60% of oropharyngeal cancers (cancers of the back of the throat, including the base of the tongue and tonsils).35% of penile cancers50% of vulva cancers65% of vaginal cancers90% of anal cancersalmost all cases of genital warts and cervical cancerFour out of five people have at least one type of HPV at some time in their lives.RHP User
9 years ago
You have some pretty tough rules there. What if you never want to get married again? (Rhetorical question)
RHP User
9 years ago
I think this fear of STI's is because lots of people see them as totally serious. People of our generation remember HIV deaths and the bowling ball scare campaign.
A lot of STI's (chylamedia and gonorea which runs pretty rampant in the main cities) are all treatable by antiboitics. I know when I have mentioned how treatable some of them are people were totally surprised. I see them no different to getting a cold really. I am not sure why people get so freaked out about or treat it like it is a shameful thing.
Quite frankly all those serial monogamist singles out are a big risk because they don't even get checked.RHP User
9 years ago
I have only been unprotected with 3 people in my life, I have had long standing relationships where safe play was followed through the whole encounter.
When it comes off it introduces 2 things, one is stated above as the safety side, but the other is its the way to make new life, and I won't risk that no matter how small the risk due to other birth control in use, unless I was in love and ready to commit long term.RHP User
9 years ago
This is why I like these forums. I learn shit. I didnt even know there was a hpv vaccine. Ive had hep A and B vaccine. Will look into the hpv one. Cheers
RHP User
9 years ago
It's the vaccine they were giving teenagers for free. My GP seemed a bit surprised when I asked about it but because I am single and obviously will have numerous partners in the future. Whether swinging or being with a partner one on one so my GP agreed it was a sensible idea. I mean why not? If I can minimize my risk Of cervical cancer and those other cancers I will.
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I think this fear of STI's is because lots of people see them as totally serious. People of our generation remember HIV deaths and the bowling ball scare campaign.
that HIV is still pretty serious. It might not be the automatic early death sentence it once was, but that's contingent on taking a shitload of drugs for the rest of your life, plus having the money to pay for those drugs and the extra medical care and monitoring you need (maybe not so much an issue in Australia because those costs are subsidised but is a big problem in some other countries). Plus there are the other social and job implications that can come with being HIV positive. I think because it has left the spotlight some people have become a bit complacent about HIV, which could well be one of the reasons why rates are increasing in some states of Australia.RHP User
9 years ago
Herpes is not dangerous. It has its side effects for some and can lead to very rare untimely death, but so can a scratch.
The biggest and most confounding health effect of herpes has nothing at all to do with the virus and infection. Depression and Anxiety associated with knowing you have an STI does more damage. Sadly more people die from herpes because of suicide brought on by the stigma associated, than the infection.
A cold sore is unsightly, we treat it and it goes away to hide out in the body. We do not then bother our selves with the fact that we have herpes. Yet get it on our private bits and we are tainted with the stigma of having an STI. Herpes is not tested for in the standard STI test. In part this is to protect individuals from their own minds and the societal in forced shame having an STI creates. This does more damage than the disease.
STI are on the increase. But a simple google search will show the facts in regards to infection rates. In the 30 and above age range the dangerous infections HIV and Syphilis are exceedingly rare around 10 people for every 100,000.[1]
If you sleep with a totally random individual every single day it would take 27 years before you could confidently say you have a risk of having contacted someone with HIV or Syphilis [1][www.abs.gov.au 2011 rates. 8 per 100,000 HIV, 6 per 100,000 syphilis]. If you then consider the actual risk of cross infection for the very contagious Syphilis which has a 40% transmission rate if there are primary or secondary symptoms [wiki Syphilis]. It would take near 60 years of sleeping with an different random individual every night to guarantee infection. (natural sex, without a condom)
Primary symptoms are an open ulcerated wound (who would have sex in that state???) predominately on the genitals. Secondary infections can appear all over the body. Any skin contact with individuals showing secondary symptoms has the risk.Condoms only provide a very limited reduction of risk. Kissing someone with syphilis is considered as one of the primary transmission paths. [wiki Syphilis]
Luckily syphilis is curable. Its symptoms are of such a nature that most individual that contract it will seek out medical attention and be aware they have it and will be treated and cured.
Condoms reduce risk, but in a modern society with good health care and active systems to monitor and control infections, you are only reducing what is already a vanishing small risk. Those that fear natural sex are simply showing their ignorance.
The simplest and most effective way to stop infections of all types (not just sexually transmitted) is to wash your hands two to three times a day with warm soapy water. You will live a longer healthier life and also those around you.
Go get tested, you have only a 0.01% chance you have anything dangerous. If you consider your demographic this drops even further. I my book it is the individuals that do not get tested, that wear condoms, and believe in the concept of safe sex that are the dangerous ones in this debate. Be responsible to your community get tested. I will not have sex with someone that has never been tested as I will never trust a condom to protect me.
STI are not individual concerns, they do not occur spontaneously. The condom culture is in part responsible for the increasing rates because individuals believe they are safe and thus do not need testing.RHP User
9 years ago
HIV is the only one of the STI that condoms can be considered as providing safe sex for. Without condoms transmission rate of HIV is 1 in 1,000 with condoms this moves down to 1 in 100,000 with some studies saying even lower rates. This 1 in 100,000 is considered so low (Have protected sex with a high viral load HIV infected person every day would take 270 years to ensure infection) we call it safe.
HIV is exceedingly hard to catch, the virus is very fragile and is almost instantly destroyed upon contact with oxygen.
For the vast majority of people that catch it the initial symptoms are more than enough to prompt a visit to the GP. Anyone that knows someone the has HIV will know how bad the illness is. It has been described to me several times as the worst sickness they have ever had and it lasts for weeks.
Individuals that have it and are on medication have their viral load checked every 6 months (depending on the treatment stage) Most will have a low viral load, the transmission rate for unprotected sex from a HIV individual with a low viral load is again so low that it would take more than a life time of sex to catch it.
That said and knowing the facts, I personally can not bring my self to have sex protected or not, with someone that has HIV
The problem with HIV is that some individuals that contract it can be asymptomatic. Because of this they are unaware that they are contagious. It is these individuals that pose the risk. It is another reason for the acceptance of regular testing. Luckily such asymptomatic individuals represent only a very small number of individuals infected.
HIV primary risk in Australia is people that go overseas for sex, including Hetro, Bi, and Gay, and on the most part are male. they are the leading, and some say only reason for the slow rise in HIV in Australia over the past decade.
Another one of my personal safe sex rules is, I will not have sex with anyone that goes overseas for sex, I even extend this to people that have had resent sex with someone that has been oversea for sex. Again this is because I do not trust condoms. Being told "Just put a condom on, it will be alright!" is an affront to my intelligence and pretty much ensures I will not be having sex with you.
If you go overseas and have sex, please consider the risk you take. Having condoms or not you owe it to all sexually active Australians to get tested when you return. As testing for HIV requires some time for the viral numbers to induce antibodies that can be detected, please do not have sex until you are sure you are safe. Putting a condom on may protect, but condoms break. Infection rates with condoms do not count improper use, this includes breakage.
I would strongly urge women to also take the no sex with people that have had oversea's sex. Not only is HIV prevalent in many of the countries where sex is traded, so are most of the other STI. Compared to someone that has not been on a sex holiday individuals that go overseas for sex are VERY HIGH RISK of having an STI. Do not have sex with them unless they are tested. Dont not be tricked into thinking you are safe with a condom, you are not. You are only safe if you do not have any form of sexual contact.RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Luck_Dragon' Quoting 'Meeka100' I think this fear of STI's is because lots of people see them as totally serious. People of our generation remember HIV deaths and the bowling ball scare campaign.
that HIV is still pretty serious. It might not be the automatic early death sentence it once was, but that's contingent on taking a shitload of drugs for the rest of your life, plus having the money to pay for those drugs and the extra medical care and monitoring you need (maybe not so much an issue in Australia because those costs are subsidised but is a big problem in some other countries). Plus there are the other social and job implications that can come with being HIV positive. I think because it has left the spotlight some people have become a bit complacent about HIV, which could well be one of the reasons why rates are increasing in some states of Australia.Its good to be reminded about the risks of STI's and especially about HIV. I do wonder about the increase in HIV rates. Australia was a role model for other countries for years. Thanks for raising the subject LD. I think I'll reclaim the mantra "no balloon, no party"Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' You have some pretty tough rules there. What if you never want to get married again? (Rhetorical question)
Its not simply about STI.... I'm really not too keen to become a dad, unplanned, with someone I am not 100% certain will be a part of my long, full and happy life form this point forth.
And I take my time in determining how long someone will be in my life.
As for catching worse diseases from a cough or sneeze, dirty door knob or handshake....
...... I could count those I know who have been hospitalised by such diseases on thee fingers...... and given the enormous global population who are practicing "unsafe breathing" all over other people.... the risks are less than minimal.
Would I prefer people suffering such diseases stayed home to prevent the spread of such diseases? Absolutely.
Practicing "Safe sex" offers the same practical level of "keep it in your own home" factor.
Sure.... STIs hold a stigma to many people...... but STIs are 100% preventable.
DGRHP User
9 years ago
I agree. I only recently found out that dementia is an issue with people who have Been living HIV for a long time. Scary stuff. To be honest I didn't relaise that HPV was the cause of so many cancers either. :-/
RHP User
9 years ago
DG, how many people do you know who have been hospitalised with STI's ? Again, condoms provide virtually zero protection against herpes, so therefore they are NOT "100% preventable" unless of course you use a full body suit condom, and no kissing ? A nasa style space suit would keep you safe... I'm not sure how sexually satisfying it would be personally... Hp xo Because you're worth it...
RHP User
9 years ago
Sounds like you are saying STI's are preventable with the use if condoms. Which isn't right. Right?
RHP User
9 years ago
It is appalling to what extent men will go to to skirt their responsibility. Blindman you may rant all you wish to justify your selfish desire to not wear condoms. Your facts seem conveniently cherry picked and worse concoctions of an agenda oriented devilishness. Attempting to reduce the perceived risk that STI's present is irresponsible and undermines the many years of education that has rightfully instilled ready acceptance from the majority of men that sex requires a condom.
Comparing STI rates to other dangers in no way changes the fact that STI's exist and present a risk to every sexually active person. Getting tested is surety only till the next sexual encounter. I for one am not at all swayed by your argument and see only a shallow mans attempt to manipulate.
You have a right to opinion but you are in no position to demonstrate authority. That is for the health professionals, people trained to protect us, not for pseudo intellectuals like your self.
The cumulative benefits of condoms protect many by reducing the incidence of STI in the population. Trivializing the risk will only lead to increased infection rates. Condoms are a must. Use them selfish man.
Kitten.RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'
Sure.... STIs hold a stigma to many people...... but STIs are 100% preventable.
only way STIs are 100% preventable is if you completely abstain from any form of sexual activity. Or invent some sort of special suit that covers you from head to toe, including every orifice and mucus membrane, but wearing something that would make it difficult to breathe and would kind of defeat the purpose of recreational sex. So.... which are you planning on doing DG?RHP User
9 years ago
Over the years, I think I've seen atleast a dozen threads here bringing up the subject of 'protection'. And its always the same. Most people agree wearing condoms is responsible, and a must for play. A few will have a different (and a lot of the time logical) opinion, and will get jumped all over for it. And, as sexist as this may sound, its generally the men who get jumped on. If a woman shares her distaste for condoms, it's her choice. If it's a guy....well, you're just a selfish prick...
Whatever happened to us being adults, free to make our own decisions? And to do this where they're atleast respected? If I was to play with a partner, and we both made the concious choice to not use protection, and you wanted to have your 2 cents telling me I should be doing different, how far away would you expect me to tell you to fuck off to?
It has been brought up here already (it always is), but the use of dental dams seems to be rarely used when females want to play with other females. Do you just naturally think the other woman will be clean and fine...but mens cocks are automatically dirty, and we should bag those fuckers up!?
Point is, everyone draws their own lines. I do think the risks of catching something are overblown, but it's not irresponsible to take precautions. So if thats your choice, do it. I would always abide. But never ridicule anyone else for having a different point of view. If they don't meet your needs, don't play. It actually is that simple. And as always, due diligence will be your friend...
And I could touch on the side of preventing unwanted pregnancies, but I think we're all adult enough to make our own risk assessments on that one. Besides, I'm too big of a fan of cumshots to blow inside and be a risk anyway...
*Yes. That last line was a joke. Not the cumshots part, but the....oh who cares...*Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'Luck_Dragon' only way STIs are 100% preventable is if you completely abstain from any form of sexual activity. Thats what I was eluding to
HOWEVER......the rest.... is risk mitigation.
= Condoms.... and selecting those partners who also mitigate their risks.
Pretty simple really.
DGMischeviouslad
9 years ago
"asked"
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'DoctorPercival'But never ridicule anyone else for having a different point of view.
I assume you would agree that should go both ways? In which case it would also mean that those with the different points of view would need to refrain from telling people that they are ignorant for taking precautions to safeguard their health (i.e. using condoms). I'm familiar with that particular poster's views on the issue, and although he is correct in stating that condoms aren't by any means a panacea, there are many other aspects to his arguments that I find problematic and frankly, not very logical. But as you say, what he chooses to do with other consenting adults is his business, so as long as he doesn't disparage others for making different choices, then I'm all for the live and let live approach.RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Quoting 'Luck_Dragon' only way STIs are 100% preventable is if you completely abstain from any form of sexual activity. Thats what I was eluding to
Ok thenRHP User
9 years ago
I think women who don't use condoms and have multiple partners, and who swing, are absolutely crazy in my opinion. It is much easier for a woman to pick up an STI than it is for a man.
I would classify them as a super high risk partner.
But that is just my opinion. For me it is the avoidance of HIV which is the big thing for me. That disease is for life and will kill you eventually. To me the pleasure vs the risk just isn't worth it.
Of course all the other STI's you can get just from one partner or many partners and condoms don't stop that. So everyone who is not in a monogamous long term relationship should get tested regularly... even if it is once a year if you are not that active. It is your health and as has been mentioned some pretty basic STI's that are very common can lead to serious illnesses too if left untreated.
Just my 2 cents.RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Luck_Dragon' Quoting 'DoctorPercival'But never ridicule anyone else for having a different point of view.
I assume you would agree that should go both ways? In which case it would also mean that those with the different points of view would need to refrain from telling people that they are ignorant for taking precautions to safeguard their health (i.e. using condoms). I'm familiar with that particular poster's views on the issue, and although he is correct in stating that condoms aren't by any means a panacea, there are many other aspects to his arguments that I find problematic and frankly, not very logical. But as you say, what he chooses to do with other consenting adults is his business, so as long as he doesn't disparage others for making different choices, then I'm all for the live and let live approach.
Of course this should go both ways. I certainly wasn't giving anyone a pass. I've just seen how heated these debates get before, and someones feelings always end up hurt. There is always someone who ends up feeling filthy because they don't like to use protection everytime, and someone gets peeved because someone else doesn't agree with their apparent right to feel 100% safe while sleeping with multiple partners, and wants everyone to abide by their wishes in case it may affect them.A healthy debate and difference of opinion is always fun and interesting. But I would hate for anyone (ANYONE) here to feel ashamed or degraded for having a difference of opinion.RHP User
9 years ago
That blindman considers the people who shuffle about mumbling "always for sex, I'm safe now... Always for sex, I'm safe now..." Belong in the same basket as the fools who cut and paste the "Sydney university..." Dribble... That's the "ignorant" view that I read in his posts on the subject, but ignorance takes many guises doesn't it...? Apologies if I've read you incorrectly Blindman. Hp xo Because you're worth it...
RHP User
9 years ago
Even though I rarely take on a new man these days I would always use condoms with them. I occasionally took risks in the beginning when I was starting out on my adventures, but that was after knowing someone for a while and hearing their sexual history so I could weigh up the risk. Of course, even then, it's not a sure thing. I was lucky not to catch anything; got tested and ever since then I figured it wasn't worth the worry and always make guys wear condoms. But even when you're in a long term relationship and think it's monogamous, it may not be safe! A friend who thought she was in a serious relationship ended up catching herpes from her man, after he'd slept with someone else just before her. The symptoms didn't show up for a while - now she has a nasty little lingering reminder of a relationship that didn't work out.
RHP User
9 years ago
Pregnancy alone is an innate risk I'd prefer not to take - under any circumstances.
RHP User
9 years ago
Suddenly everyone is an actuary. Ahh, if only they all made the big bucks like one
It's a simple fact that increasing the amount of partners you have increases your risk, in spite of the best intentions, gut feelings, latex wielding or prayer saying.
It's no different that gambling for a night in the casino. Some nights you'll have luck, others you won't. Except you're betting your health and your life which IMO are much higher stakes than money.RHP User
9 years ago
The righteous are thick on the ground here, you can't move without stepping on someones toes. Some try tippy toes to reduce the chance of stepping on others. Yet they still do. Others say "Make way I am striding through." they do it with boots on and aware that being liked here means nothing.
For those that live here, then arse licking is a skill that they will have to develop. For those that see it as a distraction from real life, we dont get hung up on the foolish needs of those that need to feel superior. I get my sense of self from the real world, from real experience, and talking face to face with real people.
What people say and what they do are seldom the same, and in this place there is an almost desperate need to be superior. If wiggling a pink bum and squirting out some words, to denigrate painted targets, to gain acceptance, to feel superior is important. Go for it. Acceptance here is easy to get, but it does not taste nice.
To easy to log out. Something some people should try from time to time.RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'nibblemebi' Suddenly everyone is an actuary. Ahh, if only they all made the big bucks like one
It's a simple fact that increasing the amount of partners you have increases your risk, in spite of the best intentions, gut feelings, latex wielding or prayer saying.
It's no different that gambling for a night in the casino. Some nights you'll have luck, others you won't. Except you're betting your health and your life which IMO are much higher stakes than money.
I never gamble, ever. I learn the game, understand the rules, locate the important contributing factors, make an assessment and commit to action that has a know outcome. Only fools gamble and only fools can loose.RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting '40DeeD'A friend who thought she was in a serious relationship ended up catching herpes from her man, after he'd slept with someone else just before her. The symptoms didn't show up for a while - now she has a nasty little lingering reminder of a relationship that didn't work out.
Condoms would not have made a difference. Herpes only requires indirect contact. Of the cheater had touched the girl he got it from and then did not wash his hands before putting on a cock glove he would have gotten it. Even if he did wash his hands and used the glove each encounter increase the chance of cross infection. Herpes is about 20-30% of catching it via safe sex, so five encounters bring the chance of having it down to near 5 to 1. Not at all safe in my book.
It is not the failure of safe sex, it is the failure of honesty, the breaking of trust that gave the poor lady the ongoing itch. Not her fault, and not the fault of not engaging in safe sex. The fault is giving trust to the wrong person.RHP User
9 years ago
Whether it be with couples or single girls. Our rule is simple, if it's not on, IT'S NOT ON!
We had a disgusting email from a couple once where he said how he would love to fill both my pussy and my sexy butt with his cum. Totally, totally GROSS. What a jerk. There was no way his cock was going anywhere near me, grrrr
We do appreciate that people go on their instincts and trust their partners. Once you fuck someone without a condom though, if they have fucked someone else without a condom, then your potential chances of catching an std jump at an alarming exponential rate.
MrsSAF playing it safeRHP User
9 years ago
Because herpies virus can lay dormant before the first physical signs of blisters, someone could be infected with it for years before you can even be tested positively for it. You will only show a positive herpies test result after your first breakout. So you cant even be sure if you got it from your last partner or someone 5 yrs ago, which is scarey. Im not sure if you have contacted it but its lying dormant, if you can pass it on though. Think its only during an outbreak. Not sure.
RHP User
9 years ago
Cleanup happens fast around here
RHP User
9 years ago
Blindman - As far as an argument standpoint, for the most part I do agree with you. And I've been burned on these here forums about this exact subject (more than once) for thinking so. Now, I play with a new partner VERY rarely. Maybe a handful of times a year...on a GOOD year. Before meeting, I'm extremely strict in making sure I get to know the person I MAY meet. I like to chat. To communicate. To connect. To most, I'm seen as a time waster, because I don't want to just 'get it on' after a few lines of text. And these are the people I like to avoid. But I like to know the person I get involved with...sexually or otherwise. I prefer a mental connection to someone as well as a physical one. Quality over quantity. To trust them...and who they are. And sometimes...not everytime, WE have decided that its worth the risk, for whatever reason WE have deemed necessary.
Now I have been burned by people on here, through the forums and through private messages, for being dirty and selfish. Apparently my selective and rare partners, and the fact I haven't always used protection with them, is filthy, while some of these very same people, sleep with a new partner every other week, after finding out fuck all about who they're getting involved with, and think that wearing a condom makes them safe and healthy.
Are they right? No. Am I right? Certainly not. Fact is, if you have sex, unless you both get tested after about 5 years of no sexual contact with anyone else AT ALL, you're at risk. And everyone has their own risk assessments and preventions. But I don't think we need to resort to any form of personal attacks, just because they share a different point of view. And this goes for EVERYONE on here...
We're all diluted, and we're all wrong. Just depends on which side of the fence you choose to sit...RHP User
9 years ago
And now his post has gone, my post is now pretty much irrelevant!! Oh well. C'est la vie...
RHP User
9 years ago
Still an insightful contribution Doc.
Way2go70
9 years ago
I always practise safe sex...... I give them a false name and address 😉
Seachange
9 years ago
Regardless of whether this topic has been posted many times over the years, a lot of us have not been here long enough to see the discussions so it is always good to be informed of the situation.
obviously some heated discourse has occured between some people that makes the succeeding posts out of alignment.
I agree with some of Blinbman's assertion and I believe he cdomes from a good place with well intention wrt informing us. Thank you sir. I did not read all your posts but most of it. I just felt my eye glaze over after too much information and lost interest. Reminds me of one of the Uni lecturers who just wanders off in his own esoteric world. But there are some thing I do disagree and that is for me to follow up and carry due diligence.
I also agree with Kitten's post re education (but not he personal attack on Blindman, sorry) and we should arm ourselves with as much information to save ourselves. I for one am grateful that the information highway is there to help my kids be more aware that we were at the same age. I want them to understand the consequences of their actions, be smart and stay alive. Like many said, it is all preventative.
But there is the same underlying message here both from Blindman and Kitten (and most posters) and that is 'Education', awareness, choice, Prevention'.Leaving out the personal attacks above, I believe this is a very relevant and timeless topic we should all look into and be vigilant/aware. Thanks for the intelligent contributions.RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'lilyorchid' Regardless of whether this topic has been posted many times over the years, a lot of us have not been here long enough to see the discussions so it is always good to be informed of the situation.
I would disagree that this particular topic has been posted many times before. It just strayed from the actual topic and turned into another argument about STIs and condoms, and it's those we've seen many times before. I should've foreseen that happening I suppose, silly me.
madotara69
9 years ago
with mountain folk, high country and deep in the mountains.... folk
Mado
Mado Tara xxSeachange
9 years ago
Quoting 'Luck_Dragon' Quoting 'lilyorchid' Regardless of whether this topic has been posted many times over the years, a lot of us have not been here long enough to see the discussions so it is always good to be informed of the situation.
I would disagree that this particular topic has been posted many times before. It just strayed from the actual topic and turned into another argument about STIs and condoms, and it's those we've seen many times before. I should've foreseen that happening I suppose, silly me.
My opening statement was in this was in response to DoctorPercival's comment as quoted below:
"Over the years, I think I've seen atleast a dozen threads here bringing up the subject of 'protection'. And its always the same."
Nothing to it, but just stating this topic is relevant considering we are all part of the more sexually active segment of the Australian community. Too bad it always gets off tangent considering I read some important and intelligent posts from lots of the regular and non-regular posters. Commendable.
However, wrt to the shenanigans, I dont know what happened as I didn't see the arguments between whoever was involved so I can't comment. I agree that It is unfortunate. Oh well. we live another day and the mods have earned their keep.
thank LD for raising the topic just the same.RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'unicorn99' As I trust people when they tell me they are clean. I always divulge to partners who don't want to use a condom that I also have sex with others without a condom, and it's their choice. CHOICE! I choose to have faith and trust.
Now that you are all judging me, I'd like to explain why I don't always use condoms. I am bisexual, and regularly engage in group sex with women and toys etc. You are just as likely to get an STI from a girl as a guy, and a dental dam is, 1000% worse than a condom. Takes away all the pleasure, I love the taste of a woman!
Now, I get tested every 3 months, sometimes extra if anyone has any alarming symptoms(I consider all I sleep with friends, so we are in communication on these things!) And after 2 years of swinging, and yes I do fuck a lot, I have never had an STI/D.
Mabey I'm just lucky, mabey I'm just good at trusting my instinct. Coz I do use condoms with single guys and certain couples, unless they are respected in the group of people I play with the most.
But I also engage in other risky activities, such as horse riding, swimming in the ocean and taking the bus late at night! I live on the edge.....
I am shocked. I am totally surprised to hear this from you, Uni. Sorry, but yuck. :(RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Miss_Taby' If for any reason I think I'm at risk of failed contraception I go straight to the chemist and get the morning after pill (although thankfully this has only happen twice in 3 years). have you considered an IUD? They seem like a more elegant solution than the pill, and won't fail just because you ate something like a grapefruit (though why anyone would voluntarily eat grapefruit I don't know).
RHP User
9 years ago
Okies nurse here with sexual health experience . 1 in 4 women have herpies ,1 in 5 men do . Most have no signs at all ever which is why it's so insidious and easy to share. You can have suppression meds and with condoms brings your chance of sharing it to 25% ish . You can shead the virus at any time . It is a cold sore between ur belly button and knees . The stigma attached is what's worse people go psychotic or try suicide due to attitudes towards it. Condoms can help reduce but are not 100% effective.
On the plus side there are 2 trials in final stages that are hopeful in curing , yes curing it . Fingers crossed that it works and by next year it could be on the market. So the 96% yes that's correct !!!! Who carry the virus can get the vaccine.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
9 years ago
Um KISS KISS.........UNI's profile does say IF REQUIRED.... so I don't know about you..... but...uhhh... that means no frangas, dingers, raincoats or what eva slang is for the thang you put on someone's WANG. Condoms all the way for me. But UNI does confess she does not, and many other do not confess. So good for you UNI. Not judging either will still have a drink and a chat with you and maybe a clean laugh with you. Because our minds don't need protection.
RHP User
9 years ago
for the vehemently-anti'-if required' crowd, you're still placing your trust in the barrier protection - so, if you're 'always' using condoms/dams then the other person will be using a barrier in their encounter with you, so aren't you in the same position fucking someone with "if required" as if you're fucking someone with a profile that says "always"?
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose'have you considered an IUD? They seem like a more elegant solution than the pill, and won't fail just because you ate something like a grapefruit (though why anyone would voluntarily eat grapefruit I don't know).
As an RN I can tell you that's a myth. Some doctors will advise against swallowing the pill with grapefruit juice as it may affect the absorption, but that's really it.
(It's true grapefruit juice can severely affect the effectiveness of some other meds though, like Methadone).RHP User
9 years ago
To answer your question: Yes I have, with one lover.
We've known each other for some years and have been tested together several times. We both know exactly who the other person is sleeping with and over time have come to trust each other completely, and we know we really look out for one another .
Every time we have sex with someone else (which isn't often and mostly when we're together) we share enough detail to allow us both to give full informed consent when we forego condoms every single time. (Of course I'm on the pill.)
Safe sex with others is paramount, and if there is ever a potential of one of us having been at risk, it's straight back to condoms for us.RHP User
9 years ago
I read through this thread and while it's awesome to have somewhere to speak openly about this subject please follow up on things you "learn" hear because some of the stats in information has been slightly inaccurate. So just double check what you read to make sure it's fact...
Otherwise enjoy all the crazy sex everyone seems to be having... in my personal opinion keep it covered, always!!! Well until you're monogamous and everyone's been tested. It only takes one time for something to happen and all the close calls when we're young are learning experiences. No glove no love, lol.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
9 years ago
The willingness of females to have unprotected sex is directly related the the physical attractiveness of the male.
The perceived risk women have of having sex with someone is directly related to perception of condom use.
Promiscuity is the biggest single indicator as to the risk of having an STI. (in western cultures)
Condoms use has been shown in many studies to increase promiscuity.
The lower a woman self esteem the higher the risk they would take when having sex. (guessing the same applies to men)
Some STI can make a persons sweat smell foul..
In the USA there is a push by the Food and Drug administration to required condoms to carry a warning that they do not protect against STI's
Condoms have only be shown to be effective when using the ABC approach to sexual health.AbstinenceBe faithfulCondoms
Condom use has been found in 174 studies of over 100,000 people to increase the rate of unsafe sex practices. (multiple partners, infidelity) and has directly lead to increased STI rates.
Attractiveness is a good indicator of an individuals promiscuity.
A 2002. USA;45% to 55% of married heterosexual women engage in sexual relationships outside of their marriage50% to 60% of married heterosexual men engage in sexual relationships outside of their marriage
Condom users are far less likely to get STI tests.
Condom users rate their own sexual practices as safe.
Found all this very easily, make of it what you will. There are some facts that I could not list here due to the sensitive nature of the data in regard to STI rates within the Australian population.RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' for the vehemently-anti'-if required' crowd, you're still placing your trust in the barrier protection - so, if you're 'always' using condoms/dams then the other person will be using a barrier in their encounter with you, so aren't you in the same position fucking someone with "if required" as if you're fucking someone with a profile that says "always"?
I think many here read "If required" as "I'm going to try to get away with not using one", and there lies the issue for them.
In the past I've asked many guys and couples and men what "If required" means for them. Most of them responded with "If we are all clean/have been tested recently/feel good about each other/etc we are happy to play without".
I've always thanked them for being upfront, and politely declined.
The guy I mentioned recently who said "It's only anal" turned out to have "If required" on his profile, and I kicked myself afterwards for not asking him for a clarification.
It definitely wasn't the same as you say above because I choose to have protected sex, as his remark alone totally killed the mood for me.RHP User
9 years ago
Yeah if something grabs my interest on here, I usually investigate it further. Im not going to believe something thats just posted on here. Mr google confirmed a lot of the stats etc on herpies. I didnt even realise there was a type 1 and 2.
RHP User
9 years ago
willow tree is correct in her statement.
The site I reference is qld health.com.au . You can carry an be asymptotic for years and have an outbreak 5-10 years later. That's why it's so communicable as people are asymptomatic most of the time. 1 in four women show active signs 1 in 5 men.
- Posted from rhpmobileMischeviouslad
9 years ago
Statistics about how other people use condoms ... or don't use them..... are interesting reading.
They're also 100% irrelevant to me.
I use them.I use them because I want to..... not because other people do or don't.They are part of my "strategy"... part of risk mitigation..... part of my lifestyle.I do not adjust my health or lifestyle strategies to satisfy the different strategies of others who choose their own risks.
DGRHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Lilly78' willow tree is correct in her statement.
The site I reference is qld health.com.au . You can carry an be asymptotic for years and have an outbreak 5-10 years later. That's why it's so communicable as people are asymptomatic most of the time. 1 in four women show active signs 1 in 5 men.
I think your autocorrect whacked asymptomatic into asymptotic.RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Kisskiss80' I am shocked. I am totally surprised to hear this from you, Uni. Sorry, but yuck. :(
No need to apologise, but just to be certain, does that mean I should take you off my christmas card list?RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'swingalingson' Um KISS KISS.........UNI's profile does say IF REQUIRED.... so I don't know about you..... but...uhhh... that means no frangas, dingers, raincoats or what eva slang is for the thang you put on someone's WANG. Condoms all the way for me. But UNI does confess she does not, and many other do not confess. So good for you UNI. Not judging either will still have a drink and a chat with you and maybe a clean laugh with you. Because our minds don't need protection. Yes, I know all that. Whats your point? I know what "If required" means. Its one of the reasons I will not contact someone on here. Its just icky in my opinion.
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'unicorn99'Quoting 'Kisskiss80' I am shocked. I am totally surprised to hear this from you, Uni. Sorry, but yuck. :(
No need to apologise, but just to be certain, does that mean I should take you off my christmas card list?
Well.........., A card is fine, I can use gloves to open it. Hahahaha!! ;) Maybe just don't invite me to your Christmas party. LOLRHP User
9 years ago
Why do people have to be rude and call people "Yuck" Dont they realize that they are no cleaner, people have cold sores, colds, flue, thrush, mouths full of germs, abscesses, and gum disease, the skin is covered in germs, bugs, viruses just waiting for a scratch to get inside. We can scrub and clean all we like and we are still covered from head to toe. The world around you, every surface, every utensil, every breath you take is full of bugs, germs, viruses and many other assorted living thriving things waiting for somewhere warm and wet to live. Our food as well.
Why are all these tens of thousands of agents from the benign, the toxic, to the infectious and deadly that cover all of us are not yuck. Even weirder is that the yuck is directed even when there is no evidence of any infection of any type, yuck at just the possibility.
Why are a hand full of mostly harmless infections yuck, while all the other very deadly ones are not yuck.
Get a scratch and just the bugs on your skin can kill you. Our hospitals all have antibiotic resistant germs, yet we dont call hospitals yuck.
Is sex still such taboo we must show disgust at anything associated to it. I dont blame individuals, I blame our immature and childish culture and its ongoing shame of sex. Will we ever grow up, who knows. But it does start with the individual, not letting irrational fear govern the need to shame others for what we are all built to do.RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Kisskiss80'
Quoting 'unicorn99'Quoting 'Kisskiss80' I am shocked. I am totally surprised to hear this from you, Uni. Sorry, but yuck. :(
No need to apologise, but just to be certain, does that mean I should take you off my christmas card list?
Well.........., A card is fine, I can use gloves to open it. Hahahaha!! ;) Maybe just don't invite me to your Christmas party. LOL
And its not Uni's choices. It's your response. And you then follow up with a comment like "I can use gloves to open it" ... while you may think its funny, it is in very poor taste. People don't come here to be judged or degraded. You may not agree with someone else's choices, but have some fucking tact...
If Uni had called you ignorant and arrogant, how would that have gone down? Yuck indeed....RHP User
9 years ago
I used to have "if required" on my profile, mainly because I would be happy not to use one but ONLY for an exclusive relationship with a partner who has also been tested (which I did have and do once). As far as I'm concerned, condoms are "required" for all other penetrative sex with anyone else, by default. But due the different readings of what "if required" means, I changed it to "always".
RHP User
9 years ago
Always on
- Posted from rhpmobile
new4you2try
7 days ago
Over the years ive never used protection & 50 different sex partners and I don't know if it's luck or not but never had any std's
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