M54

Prevent patriarchy

July 07 2022

It has been a very long time since I have posted in the forums. But a recent post on abuse towards men was the trigger for me making the choice to pause my choice to not be a poster. This subject is very close to my heart. As a male I have personally seen the affect that patriarchy has had on the ladies in my life, my mum, one of my grandmothers and my wife to her former partner. A message to all men who participate in the practice of demeaning women - This has an enormous effect on women’s rights, their mental health, their person finances, sexual confidence, and personal well-being. It causes then to hate you as a human and you need to change now if you have any self worth and the worth of other humans other than yourself.
I have also felt the reverse effects as a male who was in an abuse relationship to my wife who is a recovering alcoholic and was abusive in this state. She has had counselling and still struggles with the recovery and is so apologetic for the harm it has caused me. It is a very difficult thing to go through but given I have seen both sides of abuse it is time for me to take the lead and encourage us men to stand up and stop this horrid practice of patriarchy once and for all.

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Rising_Phoenix
2 years ago
Again I think gender is largely irrelevant, whether you’re male, female or somewhere in between it’s never nice to be abused, it can do unspeakable damage and in many cases turn the abused into the abuser.
There’s no telling how your actions affect another so best to keep them nice or at least show some form of remorse and improvement, the abused only stay that way for so long...
People need to respect themselves and others more so we don’t end up in these situations but unfortunately that’s a lesson many people only learn through mistakes and mistreatment.
There’s no easy fix and every situation is different but as humans we sure could do with practicing a lot more empathy and do unto others as we would have them do unto us.
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FeistyFatty
2 years ago
Agree with Phoenix👍. Both men and women can be equally cunty in their treatment of others, especially "significant" others.
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Mrs_Deep_Love
2 years ago
Thank you for your post.
It's important when we think of patriarchy , that we Think not only of ourselves (I'm mostly unaffected)but of all the women in our life past and present, especially those in other countries ie. Roe v wade in the USA at the moment.
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Mrs_Deep_Love
2 years ago
As you did Badboyhere, you thought of the women in your life.
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RHP User
2 years ago
Thank you for naming the Beast for its true form - the Patriarchy.

The forum thread you refer to in your own forum post, showed just how insidious the Patriarchy is . . . internalised misogyny and defending the Patriarchy. And anyone who dared show how flawed the argument was, was attacked and/or labelled a misandrist.

Abuse is abuse. No matter the gender. There is zero excuse for it.

The last 20 years has shown in numerous ways, that dismantling the Patriarchy has huge benefits. And the only people threatened by its downfall are those who specifically benefit from it’s existence, or who don’t have the potential to decipher that they are pawns.

The most bizarre argument against the breakdown of the Patriarchy is what will be ‘lost’ by the many, when in fact, most people of all genders, will gain SO MUCH.

Those who don’t identify as male’ will finally gain much needed freedoms and safeties. And those DO identify as ‘male’ (and currently benefit the most from the Patriarchy) will finally be released from its toxicity. Not having to live under the poisonous label of alpha/strong/male and just be ‘human’.

Because being a ‘human’ gives you the freedom to heal, learn, grow and excel, at a cost to no one else.
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Lostyanumber
2 years ago
I think that the patriarchy is a spectrum, from the "benign dictator" to the violent abuser.
Last night on Q&A the subject was FDV, it's beyond overdue that this issue is addressed fully and openly. We simply cannot afford the real cost of FDV.
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RHP User
2 years ago
Why do people insist on coming here and posting polarising opinions on their ideological beliefs?! (and you're not the only as someone was on here last week posting about toxic femininity)
People engage in these forums to discuss genuine questions and ideas about the lifestyle. They don't come here to be lectured.

There are literally thousands of groups on facebook where you could discuss this. With that in mind one can only see this as a lame attempt at virtue signalling in order to gain attention.
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nightingale8
2 years ago
I think trying to do away with patriarchy per se probably is less helpful than thinking about what would replace it. It’s an organising principle for the structure of society. All cultures have structures in the same way that all languages have accents. You can’t have one without the other. What I take from your argument OP is that women and men need equal access to power for the benefit of all. To say women should be in charge of everything is equally short sighted and ultimately harmful. The polarising effect of the internet probably makes it seem that women are after that.
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twowithnolimits
2 years ago
I find it interesting you vent on patriarchy and then conclude by saying you were married to a violent and abusive women who hurt you and you spend just six words on that???
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RHP User
2 years ago
Never heard this word ! - Well my bad... anyways, intrigued as I am, im off to Urban to check it out... ((found something for everyone, FFS)).

A complex system of gender politics which enforces strict and outdated norms and rules on our behavior and the way we interact with one another based on our gender. Patriarchy hurts men and women equally, as men are held to unreasonable standards such as the expectation that they must be strong, unemotional, aggressive, and hyper-heterosexual. Women are assumed to be weak, overly-emotional, maternal, and dependent. Any deviation from these norms causes the individual to be ostracized, but adherence causes adverse effects as well, such as the tendency of courts to see men as poor care takers, causing them to often receive unfair treatment in child custody cases, or the fact that men are less likely to report health issues and therefore have a shorter average lifespan than women, and are much more likely to commit suicide.

Or

A concept that inadequate females use to blame their poor performance.
I'm doing badly in my job because of the patriarchy, not because I'm useless at the job.

Or

System of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.
characterised by current and historic unequal power relations between women and men whereby women are systematically disadvantaged and oppressed.
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Prevent patriarchy

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