Relationship Roles!

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Are you a sexy, smart, articulate person with a J.O.B & plenty to offer, but just can’t get past the first few...
Are you a sexy, smart, articulate person with a J.O.B & plenty to offer, but just can’t get past the first few dates? Or a sensitive, shy Mr/Ms reliable with more love to give and no one to give it to? Or perhaps you’re a horny cougar with a pile of cubs to play with but none to scratch your itch on a more permanent basis.

Well if you are looking for something more than few dirty weekends and a strawberry daiquiri or two you are definitely NOT alone.

Every month I speak to guys and girls who just can’t get past the first few dates.

“What’s wrong with me?” they wonder. Well relationships discontent has become such a problem that even the scientists have got involved to try and figure out what exactly is going on.

And believe it or not the latest studies show that the biggest contributing factor to this worldwide dating dilemma is something Austin Powers might have labeled ‘mixed up mojo’. Or more specifically, gender role ambiguity.

Basically that means girls don’t actually need blokes to survive anymore. Which means they now tend to make partner choices based on more superficial traits that often don’t survive the test of time.

And guys, no longer being ‘needed,’ are not sure what the hell they have left to offer, so they simply do their best to mimic the superficial things they think women want, at the expense of a real connection and ultimately an honest relationship.

It’s easy to forget, surrounded by our computers and iPhones that this ‘new age’ self sufficient relationship is only about 40 yrs old.

But lets face it girls, you might be able to kick corporate butt or wrestle alligators but two million years of preconditioning can’t be wrong. Your heart still skips a beat when ‘he’ takes you in his arms and you feel protected and looked after.

And every cell in his body still tingles, when she yields to him and makes him feel like a big strong man.

Unfortunately in our rush for equal rights we might have thrown the baby out with the bath water, and forgotten the true essence of lasting attraction. Complimentary opposites!

This does not mean actually being opposites. It simply means providing for your partner what they can’t provide for themselves.

Masculine ‘provide and protect’ energy meets feminine ‘nurture and nest’ energy.

Our society has taught us to suppress our innate masculine or feminine and meet in the middle which is fine if you want to run a business but not so great if you want to convince someone of your indispensability as a partner.

After all what reason have two people to stay together if they have nothing to receive and nothing to offer beyond the superficial or ‘needy’.

Lasting relationships are built by people who connect and compliment at the deepest level. And our deepest level of all is the innate roles of the masculine and feminine. Simple as that!

So if you want someone to stick around forget about being politically correct, let your guard down and explore the age old powers of the masculine and feminine.

Provide the yin to their yang and allow them to feel they do the same for you.


1- Sex is a great place to start exploring each others dominant and submissive side.

2- Don’t forget no matter how masculine or feminine your date is, we all posses both. Often someone who displays one side much more than the other actually craves a connection on the less prominent side. So take the time to connect with ALL side of the person.

3- Give the other person the chance to feel like they meet your needs even if you are perfectly capable of doing it yourself. Its one thing to be tough and self sufficient but it leaves no room for them to feel needed and hence bond with you.

4- Often relationships go stale because couples fall into routines. He does this, she does that. This is why it’s so important to connect to BOTH sides of a person’s masculine and feminine and not just the one. Opening up their other sides will show your partner in a new light with new ‘gifts’ and fresh energy to offer.

5- Try and show a more rounded ‘picture’ of yourself from the beginning of a relationship. Give the other person a chance to see the variety of reciprocal energy you offer and the range of ways you can complement their life. Then give them the opportunity to feel they do the same for you.

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Posted: Mar, 03 2010
I have just got back into the dating game after a 9 year relationship and am finding it even harder to communicate with the opposite sex than it was before I was married. I think technology has made us all a little verbally retarded and we need to start voicing what we want and what we need. Nothing wrong with speaking up and you never know, what are are really looking for may just be a conversation away.
Posted: Mar, 02 2010
Yes you are right on the mark, women do not know what they want in a partner any more men unfortunatly do not have & crystal ball & women will not tell them what the require & not able to talk facts & take truth as an insult & an attack on there person some what like any sort of reality is not factual to them
Posted: Mar, 02 2010
Now if I was to post something similar, I would be labelled a misognyistic dinosaur but the truth is gender roles are important and crucial to a healthy social biology but as a male I just don't bother because I don't feel particularly needed or wanted by the opposite gender in any length or stretch of the imagination. Since when was sexism pro-feminist?

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