What should you call your man's penis?

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Some penis nicknames can be deal breakers. So, choose wisely...

If you ever watched 'How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days', you’ll know that a penis pet name can be a deal breaker.

Oh yeah, calling it ‘Princess Sophia’ is going to send your lover to a very dark place. You’ll kill the mood and do irreparable damage to your partner's self esteem and male ego.

Now you know what not to call his junk, instead opt for some hyper masculine, butches name possible to make your man feel manly. Don't even try to bring logic into this. 

Let’s face it, man are fascinated by their junk. They graffiti them, doodle them in notebooks, measure and compare them in locker rooms. It’s only appropriate that we have fitting nicknames. 

Girly, cute or any cute diminutive name are a bad idea, you risk everything - love, a relationship or a good bang.

So, what do you call his phallus?

You could go for the classic nicknames that stood the test of time - big dick, big boy, love stick , or cock .

Here’s a list of nicknames for his junk.

1. Moby Dick. (Because it's large and he appreciates a halfway-decent pun.)

2. Vlad the Impaler

3. Sex Pistol

4. Weapon of Ass Destruction

5. Trouser Snake

6. Pleasure Pump

7. Lap Rocket

8. Lord Hardwick

9. Frank n’ beans

10. Excalibur

11. Cave hunter

12. Sexy Beast

13. Magic stick

14. Snake

15. Buster Mc Thunderstick

Let's be honest, all penises need to be treated with respect. After all, there are some good looking schlongs out there that deserve to have fitting names, jokes aside. 

And then this.....

Do you have any good nicknames or slang for ‘penis’? Comment below to tell us what we missed.

Author's Corner

Christina Miller
222 articles

Writing interesting pieces about sex, the lifestyle and the different aspects of human sexuality is a challenge that Christina will endeavour to take. When she’s not blogging, she loves to exercise, watch movies and go to the beach whenever she can.

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Posted: Jan, 09 2019
Posted: Dec, 08 2018
My friends penis I call Mr Fierce lol
Posted: Sep, 13 2018
Just need u on my cock babey
Posted: Aug, 13 2018
Joy Stick
Posted: Aug, 07 2018
Man meat
Posted: Jul, 29 2018
HRH- His Royal Hardness
Posted: Jul, 29 2018
I think if you feel the need to name your penis you take yourself abit to serious for me. Cock or dick seem just fine
Posted: Jul, 27 2018
Mini me?😂😂😂
Posted: Jul, 26 2018
She calls him George
Posted: Jul, 26 2018
Posted: Jul, 26 2018
I don’t normally use a nickname at all, but when one is fitting, I use “Richard” as a clever alias for dick.
Posted: Jul, 25 2018
Posted: Jul, 25 2018
Pussy whisper ❤️🖤💜💙
Posted: Jul, 25 2018
Call it whatever you like, so long as it cums on time. Stay sexy friends
Posted: Jul, 25 2018
"The Happy Stick"
Posted: Jul, 25 2018
Posted: Jul, 25 2018
Blue veined junket pumper. Happy harry hard on.
Posted: Jul, 25 2018
Not willy wonka 🤣
Posted: Jul, 25 2018
Posted: Jul, 25 2018
I prefer the term cock, but as we are on the subject the funniest one I've heard is purple headed yogurt slinger,
Posted: Jul, 25 2018
"bitch splitter"
Posted: Jul, 25 2018
My frien likes MONSTER
Posted: Jul, 25 2018
My penis, well, she likes to be called Tank Girl and yes, she's a feminist!

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