M51
Single males who are not super attractive
September 20 2019
I am guessing that it may have taken a long time for someone to agree to meet up.
My expectation is that single women and couples would get hundreds of messages and flirts from single men and it would just be impossible to reply to them all.
A point I would like to make incidentally is people should not judge a book by its cover. In fact try to suspend all judgement on sites like this.
What are people’s (sensible and mature) thoughts on this?
- Posted from rhpmobile
Comments
RHP User
4 years ago
Sorry, OP, I know you are asking guys but Meet and Greets, Club nights. social gatherings......for me by far the best way to meet people and get to know them. Also, some guys Ive met who write "average" on their profiles are far more than average. Im way older than most guys preferred age range and dont get much attention so I prefer meeting people out and about. If you click with someone you click....and sometimes its someone you wouldnt have given a second look on here because of a badly worded profile or dodgy photo
MsSuperFoxy
4 years ago
My take... I would pass you on the fact you state on your profile you are looking for "hookups". No woman wants to be treated like a hookup. Gain respect from her, not judge her, get to know her,her raw self, and get rid of your expectations. I have met 200+ people off this site. I have found it a hit and miss, depending on how they treat me. I will judge on the 1st message they send me. Until then, I will judge. It's not up to others, just me alone to judge. A "wanna root" does not pass a reply.
Ms FoxyMsSuperFoxy
4 years ago
It does not take a long time for someone to agree to meet up. I like to meet within a week. Anything longer is just benching and prolonging. If I am interested I will initiate and say so. A good strong stable woman will do that. It is wrong to mess men around. But if you put yourself down as "average' looks, it is not appealing to any woman. Be more confident OP. It will get you far with woman.
Ms FoxyRHP User
4 years ago
Everyone is looking for something that draws them in. For some that may be your pictures alone that gets their attention. For others it may be what is in your profile... stats and/or your written word.
For most it will surround your message to them plus whatever information they can see about you, hence your profile.
There’ll be plenty of misses and not so many hits with your attempts at conversing with others. My best advice is to try to engage the person with that first message using what you can learn about them that makes you think they might a match for you. Then hope that you and your messages might just be a match for them too.
And at the end of the day, understand that they may not have time for you right now, may not be a match for you too, and that’s ok. And after all of that, learn from your mistakes and know that everyone is different... then continue until you find your match.
But sounds like you already have your head screwed on so you should be fine if you are patient and respectful.
Most importantly don’t take negative or no responses to heart. Be nice and have fun!RHP User
4 years ago
People judge...you will never ever stop it, we all do it...
Those who say that they are completely non-judgemental would not be attracted to everyone, and be okay in accepting completely anything...
Without judgement, you enforce no standards....
Now that I’ve mentioned I’ve forgotten the rest of the thread Lol
Post bomb imminent 😂😂
Mr DragonRHP User
4 years ago
Oh the messages couples get...fair enough me being the male half of this couple has a reputation given my single profile The_Antichrist....
But even fresh meat like us we’ve had a few flirts, no messages, but our profile isn’t really geared for attracting anyone and everyone, and nor do we seek it....
Mr DragonRHP User
4 years ago
Foxy...
My take on the OP was that when he said it may take a long time for someone to agree to meet up, he meant a single person may take some time to find someone to agree to meet up with them... rather than one person taking a long time to agree to meet (which of course can happen too). It may just take a while to find the right match.
I do agree with you however that if I’m looking to meet somebody and find someone on the same page then it will generally happen quickly. Thunderbirds are go!RHP User
4 years ago
I have never had much luck with women in general, my picture here does me no favours but I've now been single 7 years,
Few years ago I met 2 women online was lucky.
I fear I'm never going to find females for sexual fun pleasures or even hangout have dinner ect.
So much to offer but lost all clue how to and no one wants a slim guy.
Dating sites is are slowly but surely taking me down realizing Il be alone with bones for ever.
I wish i could find a female to even just assist me as ive no idea.RHP User
4 years ago
In my 20's had hot girlfriend and was often intruded or barged in on when was naked or in shower by her friends sex was easy.
Now moved on
Life sucks when ya shit outta luck and can't get a f........
nightingale8
4 years ago
I can't tell you what will work for you but I can say what it has been for me from my perspective as a 'single' woman (open relationship). A profile is all you have to judge a person's quality. And I've never had a lot of time to invest in seeking which furthered my indecision on who to meet to the point that any off-wording, profile listing or remark would put me right off. Occasionally I would break these patterns and just take a wild card. More often than not this was a waste of my time. Having met or chatted to a couple females also off this site over the years, I've found it's often the same men who are successful meeting women. One girl had even connected with two former playmates.... Then connected intensely with my partner after I introduced them! To me that says a lot because I rarely meet anyone. So what do these successful men have in common? They're attractive but with clothes off often quite average by societal standards. They all had nice faces or smiles (again not perfect but nice to look at). They seemed expert in putting together a decent profile and in messaging conveyed they were interesting and **respectful** first and foremost but weren't shy in showing their interest. It's a skill. My partner on the other hand cant seem to get this formula right and has far less success online. Those he does meet all comment that he's much more attractive in person and want to keep things going. Please don't judge all women on here as vain because really it is you missing out. Ive had mind blowing experiences with beautiful souls on here, one i still think of every day even though I'm out of the game...for now).
Ps you mentioned you were bi. That may put some off but know that it also makes you extremely marketable to some more adventurous women looking for MMFs xx
FeistyFatty
4 years ago
Foxxy.... I think i read on another forum that OP has been on RHP for 14 years, only making a handful of quality connections in that time. I read it as people not being initially physically attracted to him, they xhat for an extended period of time and then will meet.... so they connect on a more mental level as opposed to a physical one.
Myself personally, I'm happy to chat to anyone when I'm online.... don't care what they look like. BUT if I'm not physically attracted and they ask to meet or for a sexy encounter .. i will always say no, I'm not physically attracted and not happy to meet (i just would see very little point and I don't like awkward meets when the attraction ISN'T mutual).
Having said that, i have many friends from these sites that we just socialise.... if they proposed or insuated anything more from me, they would be told (again) no.
If someone messages me and i find them attractive AND we have some good back and forth banter and we enjoy chatting and getting to know each other then I'll meet within a cpl of days.FeistyFatty
4 years ago
Actually no... strike that..... don't think it was the OP that had been here many years with only a few connections now I've looked at the profile..... sorry OP withdrawn lol...... but the rest of my comment remains the same👍🏻
AnnieWhichway
4 years ago
Attraction is in the eye of the beholder they say and is very true.
Good looks is not a gold pass in life. It may grant you access through a few extra doors but substance between the ears will get you judged sooner rather than later.Sure, we can set our aim for ultra attractive people but it is only a part of the formula that piques our interest and if we maintain a focus on facial attraction without the rest of the equation we will always be disappointed.AnnieWhichway
4 years ago
Long time, short time. The only constant in time is the longer it takes, the more likely their shortcomings will show.Point in passing, l weeded out 2 guys yesterday. Both average looking. 1 was a long time to meet up, like 2 months. He ticked all right boxes, intelligent, respectful. What a douche bag lover. The worst. And ended up being a married misogynistic pig that thought l owed him for supplying a bottle of wine for us to share.The other, given just 2 days chat to reveal the inner him by calling me a slut for going to Hellfire last night.
So in summing OP, don't fret the attraction stakes, just be the best human you can be. It will take you further than looks.
And me......fuck men. I'm done with themRHP User
4 years ago
Thanks for your reply.
No need to apologise, your comment was helpful and kind of what I suspected anyway.RHP User
4 years ago
Thanks for your reply. Your comment is helpful. Some of the terminology I am not that clear on.
I wasn't quite sure of what hookup meant, just that it meant a sexual encounter.
Respect is important to me so I am always respectful of a woman I would like to meet up with and have fun with.
I will remove Hookup from my profile cause that isn't really what I am about.RHP User
4 years ago
Thank you for your feedback, it is very helpful.
RHP User
4 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy'
My take... I would pass you on the fact you state on your profile you are looking for "hookups". No woman wants to be treated like a hookup.
\I can assure you Foxxxy that there are women out there who are perfectly happy with hookups. I would estimate that half of my one-night stands (or whatever you want to call them) have been with women that have picked me up. They're feeling a bit frisky, they're willing, I'm available, they like the cut of my jib - and all they want is a shag. This has happened both with strangers and people that I knew previously. You make statements like the one quoted repeatedly here Foxxxy - no woman ever just wants a straight-up fuck, never ever. I'll keep making the same reply - some do, more than you think (I know, shocking right? Women can be just as hungry for it as men), and as long as they do you will have profiles like OPs. He has just as much of a place here as any of us.RHP User
4 years ago
Some people will disaggree with me, but most people have some Bi tendancies, which is OK.
I am tolerant of some MM interaction with a couple but not seeking just MM interaction on its own. So I am not really Bi, just Bi flexible.
When you're in the heat of the moment you could agree to stuff that you wouldn't normally depending on the people you are with.
In any case I respect peoples boundaries and practice safe sex.RHP User
4 years ago
Looks to me are not that important. I am looking for people who are within my age preferences (but will consider some people older) and are drug free.
I try not to judge people and show them respect (no matter what they're into, where they go and what they do).
It takes all kinds as they say.
People who are Insulting and being rude just shows that they are not mature and insecure. Respect is key.FeistyFatty
4 years ago
Okey...... some of my hottest encounters would be classed as "hookups". I seem more opposed to the word than the act to be honest. And I'm going to be so hypocritical with my next statement but its true...... I enjoy a spur of the moment/hookup/bootycall/ONS..... as long as Its at MY behest. I don't like being messaged or approached for one off random sex as It does make me feel devalued. BUT, on more occassions than I can keep count, I have persued others and invited them to my house for the sole purpose of a fuck session then kiss see ya later.... scratches my itch for the night if hubby's not there and makes me feel empowered in a way. And funnily enough.... some of hubby's and my sexiest threesomes (Bi MMF) have been spontaneous..... send a cpl messages, man/men arrive an hour later...... some VERY yummy memories😍
RHP User
4 years ago
FFF, very interesting comment and I think you have hit on why blokes cop the hidings that they do here in the forums (not from you though I have noticed). Women here on RHP, and Tinder and elsewhere, know they have the power which is at odds with what goes on so often elsewhere in the world and their lives (i.e. men have the power).
Women have the numbers in their favour here, there's a 10:1 ration (or thereabouts) of men to women. Women can post themselves as being available here and it will become quickly evident that they can pick and choose from potential candidates that message them or whatever. They hold the reins, they are the gatekeepers - any metaphor you choose, so it makes sense to me that you are uncomfortable with being messaged for a quickie yet entirely comfortable with reversing that process. You control it, you're the one taking charge. I'm not saying any of this in a nasty sense, kudos to you and other women on here for realizing that. I don't get why you being approached makes you feel devalued yet you don't feel that when the roles are reversed. I know I certainly haven't felt devalued when I've been picked up, quite the opposite. I feel desired.
I don't think there is anything wrong at all whatsoever in being viewed purely as a sex object by somebody - they simply want to take you home (or you take them home) and do dastardly wicked things to your naked body, all in the name of cheap thrills that both of you enjoy. Hookups can still be more than just ''I'm here to get my end wet and blow my bolt'' (from a blokes perspective). I still want to pleasure a woman, even during the most random hookup. I remember once walking into a pub for quick dinner when on holiday a few years back. I was approached rather shortly after entering by a particularly bold woman (who, judging by the looks on the locals faces, was probably prone to this kind of thing) who made it plain she was sick of the same old men (it was a small town) and within about half an hour I had skipped dinner in order to take her back to my hotel room where we had great sex. She was showered, dressed and thanking me on the way out about maybe 90 minutes after I first walked into the pub. I knew her first name and that was it. It was spontaneous, random, caution to the wind, fulfilled both our needs, we both walked away with smiles on our dials.
I have had the opposite of course, random sex that I genuinely regret and should have stopped once things got underway because it was clear things weren't going well. Yep, those ones make you feel a little grubby. Overall though, to those posters on here that think that hookups are just despicable? You don't know what you're missing.FeistyFatty
4 years ago
Okey.....
Haha... i like your use of the word "Grubby"..... I like Grubby hehe
But, I know exactly why I personally find being messaged with a "Hey FFF, wanna fuck?" Because in MY mind, these men have scatterbombed this same message to everyone in the vicinity, not contacted me due to genuine attraction or interest. They Maybe even singled me out with a handful of others as they've viewed me as "easy pickens" "desperate" etc etc. And therefore, if I was to respond positively then Its like I'm affirming their assumptions in some way. I get caught in that loop often so now I don't overthink it, I just say no thanks and move along and try not to be offended.
I love your pub story Okey. I've had a similar small town pib story actually. 20mins after meeting we were bavk at his camp room (no judging not my finest hour lol) and having a VERY loud full on 2 hours before being dropped back to the pub to continue my night hehe....... Grubby comes to mind xFeistyFatty
4 years ago
Sorry for the Hijack OP😊
EarthQueen
4 years ago
Yes agree. As long as both people leave feeling good there's often nothing bad about a hookup. In fact sometimes its just easier. No emotional baggage to deal with, it just is what it is. You can't always predict they are going to be good of course, but life is like that, a bit of a dice roll, bit of a risk. As a woman you have to be a careful and listen to your instincts for sure, but they can be great. You can still feel used inside of a regular relationship or FWB situation. In fact, that's when I am sometimes left feeling worse. Theres more invested and more feelings to deal with. RHP to me, that's just part of the territory. A lot of people are on here for hookups. The best sex I have ever had from an online interaction was this year with a hookup. It wasn't from RHP though. Just another dating site.
OP all I've got to offer is that you can use other platforms where the ratios might not be as skewed. Women still like sex on other dating sites he he.
Apart from that I'm not a man so will bow out on the question. Good luckMsSuperFoxy
4 years ago
Its good to brag, preach and all that..but go back and reread my post before carry on about posters being "despicable" and all that. Thanks for the giggle. 😛
Ms FoxyMsSuperFoxy
4 years ago
No problem. I wish you all the best.
Ms Foxy xRHP User
4 years ago
I was a single male too
I have never had the issues and complaints lot of single men seems to have here.
Even the odds stacked up against me 10 to 1, at least, as mentioned above.
I still had plenty of dates and met some amazing women.
You don’t need to have amazing looks or hot sports car.
I’ll tell you why.
When you start a competition or race you know you are already at disadvantage due to numbers, you look at how you can be ahead of your game.
Very simple things make great difference.
Smoking for example; you are looking at getting intimate with someone, where senses are of major importance, how many people will be “for” smoking than against?
My other half cannot stand cigarette smoke, we reject lot of men just for that.
Behavior is another one; when we start talking to people, we are often interrupted by life, we need to drive, work, cook etc.
and when we return to chat, if we find 10-15 messages asking where we are, persistently, and every second message is about how horny you are, you are gone. Blocked.
Confidence without arrogance and excessive cockiness. Makes a big difference.
What else? Mind over matter. Lot of people can be seduced my ideas, opinions and expressions.
You think Casanova was the most handsome man ever lived? No, just the opposite.
There are many good looking man out there who destroy their image as soon as they open their mouths.
Good looks don't mean much if you carry zero charisma or character with you.
Creativity and sense of imagination are other things.
How many profiles out there state that they are easy going, laid back, down to earth?
9 out of 10.
So it’s not really numbers game or how good looking someone is, isn't it?
You have to have that allure, appeal that will attract the people you want to attract.
Don’t try to seduce everyone, you'll seduce none. What works for one person will not work for someone else.
You need to find the best way to express yourself and reflect who you really are, so you can attract those who are looking for who you really are.
And no, having profile photos with boxer shorts won’t help you.
You can’t have a mass produced underwear brand represent you and hope to have a result that you want.
You need to appeal to people’s senses and imagination.
I never found it hard.RHP User
4 years ago
I was talking to for a while, we just kept missing that window when we could meet up due to work. Then one night the stars aligned, and we arranged to meet at the Queens Hotel for a drink. His profile photo was very drab and he wasnt smiling but he was so lovely to chat to I really wanted to meet him. I was early and as I waited this gorgeous dark stranger came walking towards the Hotel. It was my date...his profile photo did him no justice whatsoever. We had a great evening but he moved to Melbs with work 4 weeks later so that was that. I think women make more of an effort with profile pics while most men just take a quick snap and thats it. There are a lot of handsome "averages" out there.
missy_mo0
4 years ago
I’ve found people generally to be more attractive in real life (as long as their pictures are recent) than what their photos show. Photos don’t show someone’s spark, their laugh, the fire in their eyes, their personality. There’s still a look I am attracted to, but that doesn’t mean it’s Brad Pitt movie star looks.
RHP User
4 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy'
Its good to brag, preach and all that..but go back and reread my post before carry on about posters being "despicable" and all that. Thanks for the giggle. 😛
Ms Foxy
Oh, the irony.
(Shakes head, starts to walk away) You actually wrote that? Were you drunk or something?
(Continues ambling off at a slow pace) And I'm not talking Alannis Morissette ironic either. "Like rain on your wedding day"? How is that ironic?
(Calls over his shoulder as he recedes further) Song should have been called ''Annoying''.MsSuperFoxy
4 years ago
Go find other posters you can vent and write essays too. Maybe stick on topic of the original post while your there. 😉
Ms FoxyFeistyFatty
4 years ago
Foxxy.... I did apologise to OP for going off topic👍🏻
MsSuperFoxy
4 years ago
Yes, you did. 😊
Ms Foxy xRHP User
4 years ago
It may put some people off but I like bi guys, I have always had great company and hot experiences with them.
RHP User
4 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy'
My take... I would pass you on the fact you state on your profile you are looking for "hookups". No woman wants to be treated like a hookup. Gain respect from her, not judge her, get to know her,her raw self, and get rid of your expectations. I have met 200+ people off this site. I have found it a hit and miss, depending on how they treat me. I will judge on the 1st message they send me. Until then, I will judge. It's not up to others, just me alone to judge. A "wanna root" does not pass a reply.
Ms Foxy
You should read a few female profiles, there are plenty. There is soooooo much more to RHP than the forum bubble.
KittyDeluxe
4 years ago
My regular FB has his looks as average and himself doesn't think he's much to look at, but he is attractive as hell with a great smile.
I think I'm rather below average in looks, but am told otherwise by those who view me through their own subjective likes and dislikes.
Yes, we women are indeed flooded with flirts and messages. I insist on seeing a face pic because an initial attraction must be there. I am yet to see a face that repulsed me. It's always the lack of conversational skill or some crude comment that ends any interest I might have had.
So if you're striking out, brush up on your banter and conversational skills and watch your luck change.
SSExplorer
4 years ago
Centaur is spot on again. I have always found being myself has attracted exactly the right people. Being honest with others (in all areas of life) will have your tribe gravitate toward you.
My tribe is quite obscure but I’ve always been able to find them in the haystack.
I guess it also depends on what you’re looking for, if you’re after a lot of easy shags then your looks are always going to be critically assessed, if you’re looking for deeper then being “attractive” has only a little to do with how hot the mirror thinks you are.
I didn’t come here as a single guy as it didn’t feel like the place for me to meet a partner even though I had enjoyed exploring with an ex. Although I have always wanted to try being the 3rd wheel in a 3some I just thought it too hard to not come off us just another single guy wanting to root anything that says yes as I think if we are truthful is a great proportion of single guys.
So what should you do?
As Centaur said, be original and be you, tell us exactly what you have to offer that would make anyone choose you over the seemingly endless stunningly beautiful people on here :)
aaenjoy
4 years ago
We do not take a single man regardless of their or our perceived view of them. We have had too many send gross messages to us about their desire for an asian woman. So the lot of them miss out. For us, we consider no loss at all, we do well enough as a couple for couples, get the best of all worlds there, single guy......unless wanting a gangbang in which there are then multiples of them, we consider that single men are quiet useless in swinging.
LetsFrolic
4 years ago
It's very rare people meet others from this site I've found over the years
kle58
4 years ago
The body language of the photo/s and what is written in the description is what draws me in. Some photos don't do a person justice, thus I look at the body language and what they write. If what they write clicks with me, I reach out. It seems you took heed of previous replies and updated your profile. That's a good move.
RHP User
4 years ago
Absolutely you are judged by your facial looks, even someone that works hard on there other assets, personality, Wit, body...
Unfortunately when you are spoilt for choice, you choose what you are attracted to, human nature.
th_au_mixcouple
4 years ago
A profile is all anyone on here has to judge you by, and they will judge whether you like it or not, especially if their main purpose on this site is simply to find sex.
OP try to take this as advice, not criticism... your main profile picture is blurry and your eyes are covered, and for many girls its all about your eyes. Your 2nd picture is not very flattering either. Work on taking some better photos is my advice. Like you mentioned, couples and females do have a lot of males trying to contact them and you really need to make an effort to make your profile more appealing so you can stand out from the crowd a bit.
Looking4fun181
4 years ago
I have found the site we feel of extremely shallow females just want the pretty toyboy and not someone with experience.
I don’t know how to describe myself. Average maybe.
Other than the fact I am me and I can’t change the way I look.
I have been a paid member of this site for quite a few years now and I’ve only ever met one person.
I guess I’m just not what people are looking for, as people do judge a book by its cover.
But really a book has a lot more to offer than its cover.
Always open to suggestions if my profile needs attention, can’t do anything about the head, sorry.
fortedosse
4 years ago
Ohh how i miss craigslist.... finding girl has been hard eversince it is gone ..... not much luck here
RHP User
4 years ago
I have found the same. I have had quite a few women say no online saying I'm not "their type". I will admit women online are way more vain that in person. I have alot more success in person and attract much better looking and better quality people in person. I think when personality and a smile can shine through, you will get the match (in person). Online is fickle and just like the rich getting richer... online - the popular profiles get more and more attention, and we unfortunately get left in the dust my friend.
AntonyandCleo
4 years ago
We posted our profile as a couple last night. Within a day a single guy wrote to us.
'I know your profile says No Single Guys so this is a long shot but...'
I wrote back: 'dude, you just showed exactly why we don't want to talk to single guys; pushy, a sense of entitlement, and won't take No for an answer.'RHP User
4 years ago
Shows me what women have become in today's society. Shallow as well predators. Reason why these types of sites are moving people away from love and connecting with real people. Soon everyone will be alone and only a selected few will service women. Would rather keep my cock in my pants than lower myself to women like that.
RHP User
4 years ago
Yeah I have to agree 100%. As a single bloke on here, from my own experience it’s not really a happening place.
For me: I’ve put it down to where I live and obviously others just aren’t into my profile. That’s ok and I’m cool with it. Shit happens.
I won’t be renewing my premium membership though as it’s just a waste of money from my point of view as I won’t be moving froM the area, so no point.
I can totally see a single female or couple getting absolutely smashed with messages and flirts! Half their luck, it’s just the way it is.RHP User
4 years ago
Psychologically it can be quite self harming to constantly be on this site and look for approval of others! It increases self-doubt, questions about self-image and whether or not 'I am goid enough'! On the positive side though, if you totally detach from the good opinion of others, meaning you either already have goid self-esteem or you are working on building it up, you can enjoy sending messages, getting some response regardless of the nature of them (rejecting or welcoming) and have some fun without taking it too seriously! I know for some girls, particularly the ones who are over weight or extremely shy in real world and socisl context, here can be a good platform to boost self-esteem! Its just that they also shoukd be aware that most of compliments they get from men on this site is because they want to ultimately impress them to get into their pants! Fair enough, its an adult website mainly for sex! Just dont get too attached to what people think! Have fun and look ineardly to find that attractiveness in you other than worrying how to get approval of others here. Good luck.
nightingale8
4 years ago
Southwest_guy, you have a lovely face.
Youngfitnhung, can't speak for others but for me if you don't answer a direct question I move right on. X
To the masses, if you're not successful up your game or go somewhere else but for goodness sake don't denigrate others for it.
5cotty
4 years ago
As one of those non-attractive single guys people don't even reply to messages so meet-ups simply don't happen 😆
5cotty
4 years ago
Profile tips for me ?
KittyDeluxe
4 years ago
Firstly, why are people so needy for affirmation from strangers?
Secondly, a little advice for guys: have at least one clear photo of your face - smiling, no hat, no sunnies. We want to see your face and your eyes tell your story. Put it in your private gallery if you desire anonymity. try filling in your profile, you know, with WORDS. And get rid of all that ASK ME crap.
I respond to respectful opening emails. For every respectful email I get literally dozens of inbox's that are crude, crass, gross, degrading or pointless a "hi". Be the one, not the dozens.
Thirdly, Southwest_guy, you are hot AF. And it's that smile that makes you that way.
Fourthly, if you don't like yourself, how will anyone else? If you project negativity, you will attract the same.KittyDeluxe
4 years ago
Scotty if you were local I'd be hitting you up :) Your profile is great and your photos are exactly the type that I gravitate towards.
If you ultimately want more than hookups though, maybe a bit more of something that makes you tick in your description.5cotty
4 years ago
Kitty, thanks very much. Will add some useful content.
CheersLucas84
4 years ago
If you take care of yourself, present well, smell nice, funny, interesting and genuine then i dont think you will have much trouble meeting people.
A site like this makes it a little harder as all first impressions are based on only a couple of photos and a quick blurb and so, as an average loooking guy, you really need to make sure your profile is on point.
Being physically fit seems to help too. I used to work out a fair bit and i was much more successful then than I am now, lol.
That being said, i have found myself extremely attracted to women that i wouldnt generally think of as traditionally beautiful.bfexp
4 years ago
At work so excuse the short reply. Me, general looks, dad bod. Treat people well, invest yourself into who you are chatting with.. meets will occur.
RHP User
4 years ago
Okeydoke44 I think you have found women who don’t have much confidence and are desperate to please..... or married looking for fun.
It’s incredibly rare that women want a ‘hookup’ I have met and know a LOT of women and those that do hookups hope it might head to more or there are others who are more realistic and avoid guys who only want ‘hookups’
in my experience, for the few months I lowered myself to let guys treat me like that, I found ‘hookups’ meant more like a 5 minute quickie don’t care if you enjoy it I will move on to the next chick tomorrow anyway.... I prefer quantity and quality. And I can confidently say every woman will take quality over hookups.
Quality comes from getting to know your partner, learning what they like don’t like, teasing, tempting then the big event. And it’s always big, if done right. Personally sexting... then the sweet agony of dinner when you want to jump straight to desert. Patience. Attention to detail. And making your partner feel important and valued goes a long way.5cotty
4 years ago
Nothing better than dragging the experience out Babydoll
witty_lovers
4 years ago
Hi, the woman of this couple speaking here:
I actually find it difficult to judge anyone properly online. I love good conversation and personal interaction which doesn’t translate well to messaging here or on Kik. I love sexy stuff with connection. This connection doesn’t need commitment or a long time but it does need empathy and communication.
Single guys who’ve come to “help out” my partner and I or who’ve come to a group sex scene we have organised, are people we’ve met in real life, often referred by other friends. They have come to events, munches or meetups and they are outgoing, personable and they gain peoples trust by being likeable. Then, if they are good communicators, if they are good at consent and have some sexual experience with couples or groups, they get invited back.
If you were to line them up in photos with measurements, they’d probably disappear in a sea of average looking dudes. It’s really not about how they look. It’s their social skills + reputation.LexiLaced
4 years ago
I have a profile which is more popular than the average in my area (although small places, limited choices): a lot of the interest for profiles depends a lot on what the content is. Quality content, better conversation. Better communication = better dates! Better sex! Think about your bio. Think about your photos. Take a moment and look deeply into a profile before formulating a message. Show up, go to munches and meet & greets. Commitment is half the battle in my kink experience.
An average person with a completed, interesting profile, quality photos (ideally face with a smile!), correct spelling & grammar; who sends a message referencing my profile content is getting a message back if there’s enough initial attraction there from me to build something from. A ridiculously attractive man who sends ‘hi, wanna fuck’ has a 0% chance of a reply. I don’t swipe right on men without a bio on tinder for a reason! No effort, no quality, no reliability, and that’s exactly what I expect them to put into conversations, dates, sex, whatever.
Also re: hookups... some days all I want is to fool around with a guy I meet in a bar in the alleyway down the road, so I do... I’m not doing that with someone from here or a kink or dating website. There’s a time and place for everything!
Justfun65
4 years ago
Yes I am guilty of only wanting to meet decent looking men on the site. I find some men put attractive even though they are pleasant looking or average. I am no prize either, but nor do I pretend I am looking for anything more than a hookup myself. I did meet one man who I would not normally have said yes to, but lol he ended up being the best lover I've had. He was gentle and understanding what I needed. He even paid for hotel rooms and wouldn't let me pay half. So yes you are right. Don't judge a book by its cover. You never know what you might be missing if you do.
MrMischief
4 years ago
I'm slim, no six pack but in reasonable nick for my age. It's funny going out Im fine. On this website it just doesn't happen for me. The fact I'm a guest and can't message probably doesn't help but hey that's ok. Don't take it too personally., On this website. Ultimately it's a bit of fun, if it happens great, If it doesn't, so be it.
ignis_passionis
4 years ago
So, I find this site very different to any other
I don’t have trouble getting dates etc from more ‘conventional’ dating apps, but here it seems much harder
I don’t think I’m bad looking and I’m much nicer in person (so I’m told lol)
But I rarely get any response on here
So I wonder if a completely different approach is needed?
Or... are the male vs female/couple ratios so wildly skewed on here, that my experience is to be expected and it becomes a waiting/numbers game before you find success... I feel like this isnt the case due to some of the comments I’ve read around some guys just ‘getting it right’...
I’m a good conversationalist and very respectful, so I wonder if there is something in the opening message (or my profile) that I’m unwittingly getting completely wrong
Interesting topic tho!RHP User
4 years ago
Gold Coast. Your iq is probably double the local average.
EarthQueen
4 years ago
Ignis: I think the ration is skewed. It's very man heavy. So it might not be anything you are doing wrong, it's just he way it is. Also, I think because on other dating sites people generally show their faces it helps with initial connections and helps personalise the first messages. Here it's all a bit abstract.
OP: I have met with a many different men from here. Some were just average looking but all of them were friendly, had the ability to chat well in messages and were funny. They all presented themselves well and made the best of what they had. You don't need to be hot to get laid. You need to get into the brain of the women you are talking with and turn her on.That being said some people put no effort into either profile pictures, their written profile or reading a woman profile so they will be overlooked on a site like this.EarthQueen
4 years ago
Quoting 'EarthQueen'
Ignis: I think the ration is skewed. It's very man heavy. So it might not be anything you are doing wrong, it's just he way it is. Also, I think because on other dating sites people generally show their faces it helps with initial connections and helps personalise the first messages. Here it's all a bit abstract.
Ratio not ration.Sawadee
4 years ago
I realised how many varients we're made up of ? . If l put into practice every little requirement most have of everyone else , we wouldn't meet anyone and thats probally what happens anyway..?
Im the first to admit I dont put a hell of alot in my profile because I'm still of the opinion face to face is the only way to judge if your interested or not. l feel more comfortable in the real world where boy meets girl and you either hit it off or not..RHP User
4 years ago
I joined the site a week ago. I looked at a lot of profiles. I saw one that caught my interest. I messaged the lady. She replied. We chatted the next day about everything except sex, and were still interested in each other. We phoned the day after and were still interested. We video chatted the day after that and were still not put off by anything the other said. There was a lot of luck involved in it all. Right time for two people in the right place at the right time. We met, and things were still right for us. Honesty and no pretensions were a big part of it. Anything could have gone wrong. I guess knowing yourself and being open and honest could be an answer. It won’t work with just anyone. Be sincere and have a go.
RHP User
4 years ago
I've had similar experiences with OP. Sent flirts and messages to people I'm interested in (and people whom I think have really nice profiles, even if they are on the opposite side of the country and we will most probably never meet), I occasionally get a reply, generally asking for more pics, I send these and then never hear back again.
My take on it is that sexual attraction is generally based on looks, and since a majority of people on here are probably mostly on here for that, that's how it is. I get similar responses from other "look oriented" sites like Tinder too.
So I guess the best way for me to meet someone (not just for physical company but also for anything else) is to get out there and let someone get to actually know me and not just judge me on my looks.Sawadee
4 years ago
Good on ya mate.. Seems everything fell into place and you hit the jackpot . You obviously found the right lady with similar interests.. Thumbs up ..
RHP User
4 years ago
We are all equal
Machariel
4 years ago
I'm going to be honest. I was a paid member for 2 years and met no one. Got a lot of no thanks and polite not interested replys, so I didn't bother renewing. I'm not any ones cup of tea. But I've always respected ppl on here. The 20:1 ratio can be a harsh mistress. It's not just on here. In public it's the same, ppl give me a wide birth. Being 6,6 with a wonky eye tends to make ppl nervous. Personally I've totally given up on rhp as ppl don't have time to get to who/what I am. I pretty much removed my content from here. No complaints, it's life I'm not in my 20s anymore (even tho my brain never left).
I will say for shits and giggles one day I created another account for the purpose of an experiment to be that guy. You know. The one that messages woman and treats them like shit. What blew my mind was it works. Unlike what other ppl say in this thread don't do it or you will get zero replies. I got replies and offers. Understandably annoyed when I told that "I" was not interested and it was just an social experiment. 😔
Any way, I've been more active on FetLife as I'm more interested in experiences then just one offs. I find ppl as weird as I are on there and more forgiving on what I look like. Probably because they are more "weird" then I am 😏. Which is fine by me.RHP User
4 years ago
Thanks for sharing man, really interesting.Best Wishes.
RHP User
4 years ago
People say I look great (above average/attractive) still only was able to find one couple and one lady. But have seen the couple over 10 times now.
But yeah not too Lucky with anything unfortunately.
Brodie_jemimah
4 years ago
Y’all need to start “guest single males” verify their photos and at least have a photo to be able to get a free account. It’s really starting to clog up the messages with all these men messaging us out of the blue or relentlessly sending flirts.
A lot of fake profiles not only that a lot of these guys are using his site like fucking tinder and it’s not for that, it’s a tool to help us in the lifestyleRHP User
4 years ago
Stop putting so much stock in what others think of you, be happy in yourself, and find someone that likes you for you. A happy person with self confidence is a very attractive thing to alot of people. As a person our physical appearance is only a small part of what we have to offer. (Ik on an adult dating site there are alot of people who hold more stock in physical appearance). Your ability to start and hold conversation. Making them laugh, smile and feel comfortable. With alot of women how you make them feel and th person you are to be around holds alot of stock. Try going out and meeting people, have a smile on your face and be approachable. Take the no thank yous gracefully and just talk to people without expectation of a romp in the sack.
RHP User
4 years ago
I may possibly be in the minority here, but I find myself drawn to men who describe themselves as 'average' in the looks department.
Modesty is a personality trait I consider highly attractive/desirable.
To me, if a guy considers himself 'average' looking, his personality may just be an A++ which is my priority and we may be of like-mind, and therefore hit it off. 😊
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