What am I doing wrong ?

December 10 2023

Hey there been on and off this site for years but lately literally lately none of my messages seem to get read (even sending to active members) and most of time hardly get a reply. I’m always super polite and respectful. I’ve been to a few swingers parties organised through here and never have trouble meeting anyone in person. But on here literally just spending money and wasting time messaging brick walls..

Would love any helpful advice on anything to change whether it be profile or pics etc


  • RHP User

    RHP User

    7 months ago

    there's a bout 5000 blokes asking the same question mate

  • EarthQueen


    7 months ago

    I think you are aiming for intense and brooding in your profile pic but it comes off as slightly scary. Maybe make your pics a bit more friendly and smile. IDK about others but 2023 has been intense for me and a lot of people I know. Maybe people haven't got the energy to interact.

  • Hiluxman1


    7 months ago

    I get the same too mate. I always try be original, polite and conversational nothing. Guess its a numbers game. Trying to be unique charming and original is dufficult. Good luck with your search

  • MsSuperFoxy


    7 months ago

    Pics are quite ok, compared to many others on here
    However your bio is, well, kinda reading the same ol, same ol repetative bio's on here.
    I mean, women get sick and tired of the himble bragging bios; how marvelous their cocks are, tongues that move like Elvis and how great they are in bed. YADDA, YADDA YADDA!
    All adults adore sex in many forms. We don't need reminding, we know already!
    RULE #101 (for men): Think like a lady, act like a man. You want to fuck her brains out, not bore her to death.
    In other words: picture yourself as a woman, reading your bio.

    Ms Foxy

  • Swede712


    7 months ago

    It’s a 10:1 ratio with the odds stacked against you like most dating apps, though sites like RHP drop the smokescreen considering we’re all here for pretty much the same thing, which means more men doing the same thing and expecting to stand out and be noticed whilst thinking there no competition then questioning why you’re not having any luck, we’ve all been there, attending more singles events or mixers.

  • RachWandered


    7 months ago

    Firstly, replies use message credits and sometimes we run out. I ran out recently because I sent too many “thanks but no thanks” messages.

    I’m a paid member because I prefer to choose who I talk to rather than passively get bombarded.

    I reckon about a third of dudes never reply to me. In two years I’ve only had one fellow write and politely say he wasn’t interested.

    If guys aren’t interested they simply don’t respond and why should they? I don’t think it’s nasty or anything about me. They’re just directing their energy elsewhere.

    If you genuinely want feedback about your profile I can say as a single woman I would politely decline because your profile just says what you want to do sexually and how you want your women to look and I can see straight away I’m not a match. It’s actually a good thing in my mind because it means we aren’t wasting time.

    I guess if you want more interaction make your profile more interactive. Say something about who you are and not just what you want.

    I have a similar “what I want” profile precisely because I’m looking for something niche and I don’t want to engage in a lot of chat. I have adopted the same approach because I don’t want heaps of people messaging me. So I don’t think it’s a sign you’re doing anything wrong. It’s just people look and think it doesn’t match. I’d think that’s a good thing …

    I don’t like getting heaps of messages so I’m direct and to the point because I’m trying to filter people.

    If you want more interaction then make an interactive profile. But I don’t think it’s wrong to say what you want.
    I hope that’s useful.

    Good luck

  • Blueflamingo


    7 months ago

    I would definitely add a smile and a bit more about that conversation you are looking for.
    For me personally, I want to have fun and laugh as well as sex. So I always look for a bit of cheekiness or goofiness in a profile. Something that stands out and not so generic.

  • squirtingmilf1


    7 months ago

    I don't frequent this platform often, so when I do, I'm bombarded with messages, as most women are.
    It's overwhelming, and I find that many of these messages are quite similar, so I don't end up reading most of them.
    However, when I can see one that starts differently I will open it and read it. I appreciate those that have taken the time to read my profile.
    Even if I'm not interested in pursuing anything further, I make it a point to thank them for their effort. It's important to me because it's a reminder that my time is no more precious than theirs, and I truly appreciate the kindness and consideration that goes into their messages.

    I will look at who has looked at my profile rather than read messages. If I see someone has looked a few times, I will see if they have messaged. It shows interest, not just another piece of meat.
    I also hate validations on profiles.
    I understand the concept of someone validating the other person is real and who their profile is, but the fact that the validation discusses how good in bed they are or what they did, I find off putting.
    I am very open minded however to see xx amount of validations on a profile, is also a turn off.
    As someone who cares about their body and has safe sex, you do the math with how many partners and it is highly unlikely all would have played safe.
    Many state they don’t or if required, that’s a no for me.
    Careless with your own body, then probably won’t care about mine or if something were to be passed on.
    And last but not least it least, the ones that state safe sex big their entire album has pictures without.
    The above my opinion only.
    Won’t be right for all and doesn’t need to be, that’s just me!

  • Mandou


    7 months ago

    I had a look at your profile and I noticed that there is not much in the section where you talk about yourself.
    Maybe write down some things about yourself... you mentioned you keep yourself presentable, but in what way? Do you go running, cycling, hiking? etc... or do you read, or any favourite movie genres or series you could watch with someone?
    I like reading through profiles as it gives a better picture of someone... just my 2 cents

  • Bifemwantsfun


    6 months ago

    Well I messaged you back! Message me again if you wish to get answer as to why our messages went cold

  • RORO41


    6 months ago

    Same here mate,,in 1 year,couldn't meet any women here,insane,