How to get more messages.

May 07 2023

Dear Guys of the Pie,
Are you frustrated with the lack of messages that you receive on this platform?
Do you wake up every morning and eagerly log on, only to find that your inbox is as empty as a political party’s commitment to a pre-election core promise?
Do you fervently yearn to see that little symbol appear on your message inbox icon, only to find yourself continually disappointed despite all your efforts, and your self esteem dropping as a consequence?
Yes? …. Then perhaps you should do what I do, and soon your inbox will be as chocka as the present ABC’s news coverage of anything remotely woke or left wing.
My secret to this incredible surge in my Pie messages?
Well! … Recently I decided to move all my online communication to the Pie, and I mean ALL of it.
As a result, if anyone wants to get in touch with me, or remind me to pay for things, or try to sell me stuff, or otherwise contact me for any reason… they now have to do it via RHP messaging.
No more emails, letters, or phone calls, just oodles and oodles of lovely private messages in my Pie Box!
Of course, some Financial Institutions , Government Departments, and various other individuals did take umbrage to this requirement at first (sorry Mum!), but after a while they got used to it, and now I believe they quite enjoy this new mode of communication.
And yes, this DID require them all to set up their own RHP profiles, which took some effort on their end, and the resultant profiles were a pretty mixed bag in terms of attractiveness I must say, but the upside for them is that no doubt they will also enjoying the experience and attention from fellow RHP members as well (particularly if their profiles are female).
Who knows, they may also be able to drum up some new Clients in the process, and meanwhile I get the warm fuzzy and extremely empowering benefit of having a shit load of messages in my inbox to ignore. .
I reckon it’s a win/win for all concerned.

Xx Obi1

Comments

  • Sxceey

  • Felicitous

    Felicitous

    9 months ago

    Bahahaha this made me laugh!
    Brilliant as always 😂😉

  • oil_beef_hooked

    oil_beef_hooked

    9 months ago

    You’re an ideas man

  • Obi1kenietzsche

    Obi1kenietzsche

    9 months ago

    It’s quite funny to see the profile names that all these Govt Department have now had to create in order to communicate with me.
    For instance I know if it’s the ATO because I see “BendUover123” pop up in my inbox.
    “Fleece_ya_sidewaze” is my bank of course, and the Department of Transport have a great profile called “DoggyAction69” (I always enjoy getting messages from THEM!).
    😊
    Obi1

  • Libertine001

    Libertine001

    9 months ago

    Are you hiding from the tax department?

    That's one message that even on the pie wont get you hard...😂

    Libertine

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    9 months ago

    If you get a message from Parliment House, it won't matter because we're all fucked!

    The ATO might call your tatic, Self-depreciating.
    You'll have to tell them about your assets. Are they temporarily or permanently restricted?
    Technically, having sex with a person from this site would be a charitable gift.
    As for the ATO profile name, let's just call it a loophole.
    As for some profile names here, let's just say a little taxing on the brain.

    Ms Foxy

  • Obi1kenietzsche

    Obi1kenietzsche

    9 months ago

    The ATO’s profile is crap.
    They didn’t fill in all the sections correctly (which is quite ironic), so I kept ignoring their messages. Eventually I had to send them a fine.

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    9 months ago

    If you see RHPConjunctivitis101
    It's just the Optometrists.

    Now, that's a site for sore eyes.

    Ms Foxy 🤣🤪

  • ElectricDreamers

    ElectricDreamers

    9 months ago

    We get a lot of junk mail here already 😛

  • Libertine001

    Libertine001

    9 months ago

    Click to view content

  • Obi1kenietzsche

    Obi1kenietzsche

    9 months ago

    You forum-ite’s are such a funny and interesting bunch of characters!
    👍👍😂😂.

  • Lullah

    Lullah

    9 months ago

    Are you frustrated with the lack of messages that you receive on this platform?

    Well Obi, for me at the ripe old age of 104.....

  • KarlRHP

    KarlRHP

    9 months ago

    This is gold !!!! 🤣🤣🤣

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    9 months ago

    Oh how I miss you OB1 xx

  • RHP User

  • MarioKartNChill

    MarioKartNChill

    8 months ago

    Not gonna lie, You had us in the first half...

  • CuffsNSatin

    CuffsNSatin

    7 months ago

    It’s been so long since I’ve ventured in the forums so decided to take a peek today and this is the first thing I saw.

    Made my day! Thank you Obi1! I’ve missed reading your light hearted posts! 💕

  • RHP User

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 months ago

    Took me a while to get it, effing hilarious nonetheless!

  • EndlessSummer85

    EndlessSummer85

    2 months ago

    Yeah bro you are not alone this site is utter crap you get more action on a old dating app like Eharmony

  • MarioKartNChill

    MarioKartNChill

    a month ago

    Not gonna lie, you had us in the first half. lol

  • Therockguy

    Therockguy

    a month ago

    Great advice, thank you.
    I've just informed my local priest to setup an account on RHP so he can inform me when I can repent for all my sins