How rude

February 04 2024

Just wanted to vent how rude it it that most men and women that read messages don’t reply
At a minimum it would be polite to at least acknowledge with a Thankyou when a compliment is made or a no Thankyou if asking to get to know a person or person at least you know where you stand

Comments

  • grae_x

    grae_x

    2 months ago

    I’ve never understood why no answer can’t mean no?

    If I get 10 messages in a day but only want to chat with one of them, do I really have to say “no thanks” to the other 9?

  • Alexis

    Alexis

    2 months ago

    I do agree that is a shitty feeling when you put in a bit of effort for a message and they don't bother to reply. But, you do have to sympathise with the female experience on here.

    I've heard that a lot of guys get abusive when they get a reply saying no thank you, or they send through a bunch of dick pics.

    Also just the sheer volume of messages women receive here, replying to every single one would be akin a full time job for most women.

    I saw a profile a few weeks ago, 25yo woman, bikini shots, very pretty, and her bio said something along the lines of "nobody has ever been able to make me orgasm......" I asked her how many messages she had received and she told me she was on the app for a little over a day and she was getting close to a thousand messages. That's just absolutely ridiculous.

    My honest opinion, women are just doing what they need to do to stay safe and sane, which is absolutely what they should be doing.

    I get what you're saying, it sucks, I feel it too. Try to just take a no reply as a no thank you and move on. If it's hurting your self esteem and sense of self worth being on here, then take a break, do some other things in your life and come back when you feel it won't affect you so much.

  • PerthVixen

    PerthVixen

    2 months ago

    Why?
    Did you somehow get invisible permission to message the person?

    Should they prioritise you over the other 20 - 300 messages in their inbox?

    You use the word “polite” as if you mean that someone OWES you something, when they hadn’t approached you for anything, making it sound like ‘entitlement’, not ‘politeness’.
    🤷🏼
    And some people may read this post from you and then suggest that you might want to update your profile where you say you’re non-judgemental.

    Not me. But some people.

  • Flirty2020

    Flirty2020

    2 months ago

    Females and couples receive a high number of unsolicited messages on here, the majority of which can be undesirable and disrespectful.

    A polite “No thank you, not interested” is often met with a barrage of abuse & vitriol.

    It is thus often easier, and less unpleasant, to simply not respond at all.

  • Ex007

    Ex007

    2 months ago

    For me, if the message has no substance and or the person has obviously put no effort into reading my profile, there will be no reply. No response is a response,

    Also, some people here are emotionally damaged and if you respond with a no thank you, they explode. Resulting in long drawn-out message from them about all manner of things that they really should be in therapy for.

    Seen you do not even know these people perhaps reflect on why it triggers you.

    Ex🐈‍⬛

  • RagnarPrime

    RagnarPrime

    2 months ago

    An excellent lesson on processing rejection awaits.

    Putting expectations on strangers is the fastest way to disappointment.

  • FeistyFatty

    FeistyFatty

    2 months ago

    While I don't disagree at all with what you've said, sadly that's the nature of the online beast. You're not owed a courtesy and its actually easier (and safer) for alot of solo females and couples to not respond to profiles that they're not interested in. Often a rejection is followed up with an unsolicited dick pic or an absolute tirade of insults. I always reply and 90 percent of time I regret it to be honest.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    2 months ago

    Mate it took me some time to get over that one. I remember years ago when I got a reply with no thanks I wrote back thanking them for taking the time. I got abused for sending another message. The fact is many get inundated with messages or as has been said abused for saying no. I know exactly where you are coming from and agree but this is online dating where the nice can be assholes and the assholes can be good. Wacky fucked up world sorry to say

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    2 months ago

    I decide who I reply too or not. Not the other way around. My inbox, my choice.

    How rude, you feel entitled and people owe you something. No one owes you anything, especially if you have not met. No where on this site does it state, people have to reply to messages, I have found 99% put in minamal effort and expect /demand maximised results.
    Sadly, it doesn't work like that.

    Ms Foxy

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    2 months ago

    PS Silence is a NO.

  • Kokoflamingo

    Kokoflamingo

    2 months ago

    I am messaged by married and attached guys when I am only looking for single men. When I point this out, I am told that Im not allowed to be choosy on here and should give them a chance. Most women are looking for single guys, thats just how it is.

  • Tyler_9

    Tyler_9

    2 months ago

    I ignore most messages because they clearly haven’t read my profile, and don’t take no for an answer.

    Whilst you’re checking your inbox wishing for a reply, we are getting more messages than we can ever reply to.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    2 months ago

    Is having an inbox full of ‘no thank you’ going to change anything?

  • sexuallover

    sexuallover

    2 months ago

    Gee I didn’t realise it was so bad
    Women and couples getting 300 messages a day and abusing offensive message to boot
    Seem RHP needs to step in and do something about it
    I’d say if you report this person and take the time you’ll probably eventually get rid of the tosser
    There are good people out there just wanting fun without the abuse
    Come on Rhp

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    2 months ago

    I find the most amusing thing here at RHP. The shit some women go through are so different to the shit some men go through. Almost at complete odds and total opposites. It is a shame that things tend to be so very different online to reality. But those of us heading down the online route should all be well aware of the downers to it. If not you soon get used to it.

  • Mrs_Deep_Love

    Mrs_Deep_Love

    2 months ago

    Your entitlement is rude

  • Blueflamingo

    Blueflamingo

    2 months ago

    No, it's not rude, it's called a right to choose.
    No one should be expected to do anything or feel bad for not doing something.
    Calling out "how rude" on the other hand is rude, because it's an unfair accusation.

  • sexuallover

    sexuallover

    2 months ago

    Love how everyone focuses on the negative and not the positive of this topic 🤣

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    2 months ago

    Why come on a dating app and not message people back. It's weird.

  • dirtyshenanigans

    dirtyshenanigans

    2 months ago

    It’s not rude , you just don’t like it cause it upsets your feelings which you’ll have to get over ..

  • ashandpaul

    ashandpaul

    2 months ago

    Wow just reading all the comments and I’m a little taken back! So many different opinions but I do agree that if you engage in a conversation with someone and you do share pics and some naughty chats that’s it’s kinda weird and strange that you all of a sudden stop replying or responding even though you have gotten into some heated sexy conversations….just saying!

  • squirtingmilf1

    squirtingmilf1

    2 months ago

    Whilst at times I have considered making a collage with the amount of unsolicited pictures received and placing on a notice board saying “Anyone know who these belong too?” I have thousands of messages that I have not even read.

    Also, keep in mind that because messages move down, there are a lot that go unseen.

    That being said, I certainly am not saying I am better than anyone or God’s gift, however I am not on here that much.
    When I do come on here, I will scout messages and those that I know I am not attracted to initially by reading their profile and / or picture, but have actually taken the time to write a thoughtful well written message I will reply to with a “Thank You for taking the time to write, I appreciate it etc.”
    I feel ‘thank you’ costs nothing and it is courteous.

    Those that write one word, or send a picture or “they are gonna make me do this, that or the other” really don’t warrant the time of day.

    I am very upfront in my profile and it takes no time at all to tell if they have looked at my profile name and picture only or they have read my profile.
    I would like my profile read ideally.
    That tells me you have looked beyond the cover and read the first few pages!
    Read my profile, connect with me regarding that, not my name or picture.

    I have only ever had one nasty message about apparently “being stuck up and not replying.”
    (I had forgotten to log out.)
    I did respond to that message and told him to pull his head in and that some of us actually have careers and other commitments and whilst we are on the site looking for whatever, we are not all desperate to be on here for countless hours day in and day out.
    He sent me an apology.
    Quality over quantity I much prefer.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    2 months ago

    It is a hard one to answer when you think from both sides.As an older guy I’m sorry but my parents instilled in me a certain level of manners.So for me I can’t help but use them.However I do understand the ladies position as I agree there are too many rude people.It is a hard question to answer and I agree the world has moved on and in another direction.Must admit I got upset with one lady recently and blocked her,because of her insult.So ladies it happens to us men as well and I agree nobody needs to be treated that way.

  • VVBN88

    VVBN88

    2 months ago

    All the ladies I have met on RHP have only one thing to say, I won't be having a life if I read all the messages I have been receiving in a single day. It's more than 200+ messages.

    I always send only one intro message, and I know that she was probably getting slammed by a hell lot of messages. Could be a lot of other reasons if they are not replying.

    There is a funny story happened,
    I have sent a message to a girl in 2022 and I have not got a reply from her. After a year, I got a like from her and she told me she has not even seen my message and her inbox was full with more than 1000+ messages. She had to contact RHP and get them to delete all the messages. I was lucky enough to get her attention after that and we are great friends now, of course with benefits lol

  • Gentlelovers

    Gentlelovers

    2 months ago

    Well mist say some couples are no different.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    2 months ago

    I reckon there’s a post like this at least 1x week. To be honest, if you’re not a 10 or at least an 8, or have something absolutely GOLD in your profile. Then really men shouldn’t be on here. Just for the sheer fact that as stated above the chances of you actually conversing with the person you want is sort of like playing the lotto.

  • couplefourfun

    couplefourfun

    2 months ago

    We get so many messages we always read the profile and in 9 times out of 10 it doesn’t match example someone looking to meet someone special not into one offs blah blah looking for someone between 18-40 and they send a message stating they like our profile but it’s totally different to what we want yes we should reply with a no thx but it’s just easier to ignore sorry if this offends

  • hotcuckcouple

    hotcuckcouple

    2 months ago

    The ignorance of your vent is astounding in its own right.

    Hypocritical as i am in saying this .. it’s my expectation that anyone on this site that’s serious would have taken the time consider other people’s position, perspectives and priorities before posting such a whiner post.

    I ain’t going to spend my time replying to everyone that messages that haven’t bothered to read our scope requirements and fire a message expecting a grand reply.

  • Therockguy

    Therockguy

    2 months ago

    I think RHP should create a generic response to messages like, "Thanks for your message. I wish you well with your search." The other person then shouldn't be able to reply back. It will stop the abuse. RHP has an obligation to protect its users of this site's and I have no doubt that women mainly get abused frequently, which isn't on no matter what.

    In saying that, I don't think anyone has an obligation to reply, though. It is courteous to, in my opinion, but then again, I'm getting about three messages a day, not 300 😆

  • Fun_Two_Pleaser

    Fun_Two_Pleaser

    2 months ago

    We used to get our ‘knickers in a knot’ about people not replying, over time we excepted that it is part of navigating the world of RHP. If someone doesn’t reply, so be it, we know we are nice people and we could have had a lot of fun with them, so it’s their loss! We now take a no reply as a ‘no’ and move on.

    We intend to reply to everyone that contacts us, but lately we have had a run of people messaging us with just ‘Hi’ 🥱🥱🥱. We have written in our profile - ‘Put some effort into your initial message, add an ice breaker or something funny to catch our attention’. Clearly those who write only ‘Hi’ didn’t read our profile, put zero effort into their message, and unfortunately we have chosen to not reply more often.

    Obviously everyone is different and can apply their own rules or etiquette to messaging.

    Our advice - come up with your own timeframe to receive a reply, 24hrs, 48hrs, one week etc. If they don’t reply within that time frame, take it as a ‘no’ and move on!

  • SweetSerenade

    SweetSerenade

    2 months ago

    What do all these people who don't reply have in common? The answer is they all received a message from you, and decided it's absolutely not a match. No reply IS a reply.
    Silence is a polite way of saying "hell no, what were you thinking?"

  • SweetSerenade

    SweetSerenade

    2 months ago

    'ignore' and 'block' function on this app is there for good reason. Members have a right to silence from those they wish to not engage.

  • 1kit1

    1kit1

    2 months ago

    Maybe the app could have an auto reply type message that if the person sent, would auto prevent further replies but still let people know. With girls getting so many messages and there being some genuine nice blokes out there, they may have not actually got to your message in the 7 day timeframe. The auto reply could be “I have received and read your message but do not wish to pursue anything further, thank you”. If this was as simple as a button to push, might clear up lots of things. For guys replying aggressively or sending dick pics, just stop and grow up guys. Being respectful should always be priority number one, no matter what the situation.

  • MajekMonkey

    MajekMonkey

    2 months ago

    That's how these apps are. It's horribly anti-social, I'm beginning to think it's better to delete them, stop giving money to these companies and focus on meeting people in real life because online are apathetic at the best of times.

  • fentoon

    fentoon

    2 months ago

    Same as alot of people here I don't like the feeling when you put some effort into a message and get no reply. But as a Male I Think women get so much attention here , and sometimes wrong attention, it puts them off writing back!

  • Tanoshimi

    Tanoshimi

    2 months ago

    My subscription status allows me to message 50 accounts per day. If I did what OP was asking some days I could easily use up my allowance responding to people I didn’t want to talk to, just to be polite. If I’m paying for the privilege to chat, I want it to be with who I want to chat with, not who I don’t want to chat with.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    a month ago

    Wow do people actually send messages anymore? I have pretty much stopped as its mostly always a non response or a "no thanks" i would never reply back with insults though.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    a month ago

    I get that all the time. I don’t even get a like. Just proves how fake and shallow people are.

  • Funtastique

    Funtastique

    a month ago

    We had a situation with a verified and validated couple. They have been talking to us since few weeks, finally we arranged a date after few reschedules, just before few hours of our meeting, they ghosted us and blocked. How would you rate such behaviour? They are in 50s age bracket, well matured and experienced.

  • Fez53

    Fez53

    a month ago

    Its a choice of those who believe silence is a language on its own :)

  • trysexualcouple

    trysexualcouple

    a month ago

    Good afternoon all, we always reply to every message we receive, if we are not interested we always say a polite no, and have never had a negative response. Guest members are not an issue as they can,t message. It is a great site to meet really hot sexual people and a reply is just good manners.

  • DonnaBrett

    DonnaBrett

    a month ago

    We usually will reply to all messages as a courtesy even if we're not interested, however we generally will not reply to people who obviously haven't read our whole profile through. We specify things like we only seek non smokers & safe sex folks only etc. so if we get messages from smokers or people who click never, sometimes, if required to the safe sex question then they haven't read our profile or have just ignored our requests so they don't really deserve a reply.

  • Up4sumfun2

    Up4sumfun2

    a month ago

    I'm new on here. I'm going for a try of receiving a message from females.... short or long messages... anything...

  • Bacchus

    Bacchus

    a month ago

    If you went up to a person on the street and tried to flirt with them, and they didn't want to speak to you and walked away... you wouldn't think they were rude.

    RHP is just the same. The people you have messaged are like the person on the street - they had an unsolicited approach from someone and turned away from it without acknowledging it in any way, they just ignored it, as most people would do if they were on the street and a stranger came up to flirt with them.

  • Gorgeous2

    Gorgeous2

    18 days ago

    understand your venting ...but at the end of the day if they don't reply ,that is silently telling you where you stand. because you are polite,,, others are not necessarily

  • KurtAsexual

    KurtAsexual

    13 days ago

    All I get is a silent nothing,.. I'd say most women have ghosted me here and the rest aren't even real people.

  • Oskar_Melbourne

    Oskar_Melbourne

    8 days ago

    I understand it would be hard for women and couples that receive tens or hundreds of messages each day.

    Most of my first messages are ignored.

    A few people politely reply and say they are not interested, I generally reply back and wish them well. I am so grateful for these.

    However I believe it is rude after a to and fro conversation of a few messages / messages over a few days, to ‘ghost online’. Either by stopping replies or blocking.

    I have had some conversations which is great, but my experience is that if someone isn’t interested, instead of politely saying they are no longer interested, they just go to radio silence, or block. I find this rather discouraging and wonder why they don’t reply to say sorry, nice chatting with you, but I am not interested (I’ve met someone else, etc.).

    One of my first conversations on RHP she meant to say ‘I hope it is not dic pics’ but forgot to type the word ‘not’, so it came through as ‘I hope it is ‘dic pics’. Before I realised what had happened and could apologise (which was within a minute), she had already blocked me.

  • ImHere4U

    ImHere4U

    8 days ago

    As an older guy I find this a little annoying, but in the online age I accept it. What I really stuggle with is when you do get a reply and it consists of one word and then nothing else, Hey and Hi arent really ligitimate responses and when you recieve them from people of mature years thats dissapointing. I prefer no response to a shit response. Now dont get me started on the responses from 3am that appear to be written in code?