M44 F39

First timers, needing advice

November 21 2023

Hi all, we have spoken about either going to a swingers club or meeting up with a couple.

We haven’t done this before but not sure if it’s us or not? I think for the first time maybe watch or be watched or both not sure.
We are very confident and comfortable as a couple so there is no problem there.

Just looking for advice as newbies please.


  • evo67


    8 months ago

    You guys need to do what feels comfortable, you will find a couple that will be willing to do what makes you comfortable. If not if you get to Brissy look us up and we’ll follow your dreams

  • teamaj2


    8 months ago

    Everyone will have different advice possibly based on their own personal journey .
    We talked and talked and talked about this for years . The pitfalls , what avenues we wanted to explore with others , how it may affect our relationship etc I feel no one can really know the answers to those questions are prior dipping their toes into exploration waters . Our boundaries have changed over the years , what we thought we were seeking definitely changed and our relationship continues to flourish .
    Obviously you are both curious and having lots of conversations. It’s a great start .
    If you are unsure what you seek , I would recommend attending an event . I’m unsure what choices you have in NSW . I’m sure others could give you an idea where to go .
    At the events we have attended there is no pressure to play . You can observe ,socialise , play and not allow others to join but encourage them to watch . It’s your journey and you two write your own rule book .
    It’s important to check in with each other during the night . Also after you attend events its equally as important to discuss everything without fear of recriminations.
    I remember our first event . It was so so exciting to be surrounded by sexy like minded people . We met amazing people even though we were very unsure of ourselves . We only played with each other the first night at the event but we invited a couple back to our place . We were on a heightened sexual high for weeks and eager to explore further .
    Good luck whatever pathway you choose and have fun . Ax

  • Sawadee


    8 months ago

    The first time we visited a club we were just as green and unsure like you guys. We were all wide eye'd and didnt know what to expect.. ln fact we didnt do much at all except take in all the activity around us.. We got chatting with a few different couples who were super friendly and willing to show us the way , but we just was' nt ready to take that next step and there was no pressure so regretably we passed up the offers.. So we left without doing anything... But that was just us and the only regret was passing up the offers .
    The point l'd like to make is whatever you do ' dont over think things, thats the thing that will hold you back more than anything.. If you look for negatives you will find them.. My advice is go with a open mind and see what eventuates .. Dont die wondering...

  • Margo_Lover


    8 months ago

    Lots of great advice here from everyone.

    We chose a club for our first experience, as it gave us lots of options, with no obligations.

    From doing nothing at all, to being voyeurs and watching some fun, meeting people, playing ourselves in a closed room, playing in an open room... or even touching someone new.

    Meeting couples one on one is great too, but you need to factor in at least 50% of people here just time wasters, with no intention of meeting. Thats before you consider all the fakes. Plus you gotta find a 4 way connection, which isn't easy.

    So our vote is the club, simple, go when you like. No need to spend weeks or more matching with people, chatting & setting up a meeting.

    - Alex.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    8 months ago

    You’d be surprised what dynamics exist and what appeals.

    As some have stated, coupling can be difficult to navigate and sometimes you learn by experiences which are slightly awkward.

    Abi and I went through the “taking one for the team” a few times but the best nights we had were playing to the what each person felt comfortable with - for example the best night we had was Abi and the guy watching me and the girl before they went off to another room and had their fun.

    Just so happens that worked for us that night. Other times Abi or I have been happy to watch the other be the focus of a couple.

    Sitting comfortably with a whiskey and a cigarette being the voyeur really worked for me on a couples of occasions.

    Experiment and laugh about it 😊