After Care

March 29 2024

Ladies and gents how do you handle after care? As it is a really lovely part of the whole deal. But I have been chatting alot and with swinging and cpls I am not so sure this is the case.
"Ok dude we had fun...time to go"
I am again a bit inexperienced with the whole thing and I can imagine a conversation about this would happen but with sex sometimes after you want to cuddle, sometimes you don't. Any advice?


  • MsSuperFoxy


    4 months ago

    I understand you are a cuddler.
    You need to make your intentions very clear from the start and include topic of aftercare.
    Experienced Dom's will ask this during vet process, as aftercare is a very important step in BDSM.
    As a single women, I no longer seek it from people. Yes, the adrenalin drop is a bitch. However, I look after myself. Cuddles are good however sometimes I just want the person to leave so I have my own space, with a kind "Thank you", especially with one night stands. The last thing I want is to smothered.
    If it's with a lover, they know the boundaries, they already know what aftercare I need.

    Ms Foxy

  • MsSuperFoxy


    4 months ago

    When it comes to couples, you play, you're a 3rd, leave aftercare for the partner. Thank them tho and be respectful. May leave it for 24hrs then get in touch for feedback etc, especially If it's intense BDSM play.
    As for being a single man and you dont want any form of relationship with that person and, you offer cuddles and the boyfriend experience afterwards, expect backlash, because you're giving them mixed singles.

    Ms Foxy

  • Andrea_Sydney


    4 months ago

    I personally think it’s damn rude to tell a person (man or woman) to leave when a threesome is winding up! You definitely hang out with the person, chat, laugh, have another drink, see what they need. Especially if they are the third entering a couple space, you look after them before, during and after. Not just because it’s rude and insensitive otherwise but also because it’s part of the enjoyment. You share the afterglow threeway, however it feels best for everyone involved. If one leaves the set feeling cheap or kicked out you are bad play partners and need to work on courtesy and empathy. In my opinion anyway.

  • ElectricDreamers


    4 months ago

    I (Mrs) play solo when travelling. As a unicorn it's the pitts when the fun is over and it's clear someone wants you gone (in this case the girlfriend).

    That old adage free hooker comes to mind.

    As a couple we always make some conversation with our guest (s) after. I'm a cuddler if the vibe's there I love a bit of after-care.

    Solo I have gotten dressed, thanked them, given a kiss and a hug and walked out the door...

    I think each encounter is different, you can't make assumptions based on the past but I think it's the same as being in a home - if it's your home be a good host unless you're not feeling it and really want your space. If you're the guest - be gracious and try to read the room.

  • FeistyFatty


    4 months ago

    I am NOT. A cuddler.... Hate cuddles.

    *.After group play its more of a chat, drink, reattire and say your goodbyes until next time.
    *. After a threesome, with an invited guest who isn't a friend.... Yeah, nah thanks for coming and we'll see you down the road for me ..... Hubby doesn't mind a chat and a beer afterwards..... I'm not into it.
    *. Solo plays.... Of a Ninja fuck.... Thanks for the fuck, lock the door on your way out. If its a regular friend, might lie there for a chat... Have a shower together..... But I'm usually wrapping things up fairly swiftly.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 months ago

    Wow what a great response from all lovely and very very more experienced people I hope this has helped others navigate the minefield of emotions and feelings going into play as I am taking serious notes and preparing myself!

  • Margo_Lover


    4 months ago

    Every one, and every situation is different.

    There are no standards or rules, you need to communicate, openly & often ❤️

    When we play with a 3rd, we enjoy hanging out, chatting, laughing, snacking and cuddling with them, if they have time & want to.

    When I play solo or with a couple, I say to them, I love spending time with you, and the moment you want me gone, just say so. (Or, I have to leave by xx time.)

    Until then I'm more than happy to cuddle, massage, chat and do whatever they want 🥰.

    - Alex.

  • Yellowpenguins


    4 months ago

    I don't have to specifically cuddle , I won't say no though, do love a cuddle! 🤗

    But I don't like the ol - root and boot personally. If cuddles are a no go ,I like to lie next to each other and catch breath, have a chat and just relax for a bit before getting up and going. ..or going again ;)

  • MrandMrsEss


    4 months ago

    Another excellent topic Barman, I think the answers so far cover it well. Everyone is different ans every experience is too so knowing everyone’s desires and expectations is key for a hot experience to be an even better memory.

  • MajekMonkey


    3 months ago

    I wish the SWs offered aftercare haha. They throw you out on the buzzer

    Idk what the advice is. Maybe we're in the wrong market and we need to go marry someone