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Bi is the new black!It has to be said that if you haven’t pashed your best mate at a party then you haven’t lived! Or so say many...

Bessie & Geoff | August 04 2008

Bi is the new black!

It has to be said that if you haven’t pashed your best mate at a party then you haven’t lived! Or so say many singles today. Don’t panic lads I’m not talking about you. YET! But since the top selling song in the U.S. is ‘I kissed a girl’ and everyone from MTV to Sex in the City is using a little ‘lady on lady luvin’ to get you to tune in, you might just wonder “if life is passing you BI”?

It seems everywhere you look, in movies, adverts, clubs, pubs and magazines gender blending is becoming mainstream. So what is it about two girls kissing that we can’t get enough of? When Britney did it to Madonna on stage, the world went mad. Anyone would have thought by the attention it received that they had discovered the secret to world peace. Although if they had they probably wouldn’t have got nearly as many hits on YouTube.

Bisexuality is far from being a new thing and in many societies it has been quite the norm. Centuries ago men used to be away from home for years at a time. Short on batteries, the most stimulating thing left for a crusaders’ wife to do was sit on the hub of her cart or hook up with the lonely maiden in the shack next door. It seems that where there is no willy there is always a way.

You may also be surprised that even the animals love a bit of bi action. Guy penguins regularly pair up and swap sexual favours when the mood takes as do most species. Bonobo apes, our closest ancestors, are renowned for same sex hook ups, with females spending hours masturbating higher ranking females, and males providing everything from grooming to oral sex in exchange for just about anything the other wants to give.

Its human nature to want what’s a little bit naughtier than ‘nice’, but bi behaviour is rapidly becoming just another mainstream choice. In our research talking to bi women they all agreed that it was not only a lot of fun but that it was a much more natural and easy going experience than they had expected.

The fact is that even the scientists agree, bisexuality is far closer to our natural human sexual state than we might want to admit.

So what should you know if you want to try bi?

Well if you have had the urge then you are definitely in good company. However it’s important to remember to resist the temptation to question your sexuality no matter how good the experience. ‘Licking a little lipstick does not maketh the lesbian’.

The reality is that you are still you. You are not the sum total of your sexual encounters. What tasted great today may or may not be on the menu tomorrow and that’s the whole point. It’s all about freedom to experience, freedom to explore and freedom to feel. It’s not about looking for another label or stereotype to box yourself in with.

Of course the best place to find like minded people is on social networking sites like RedHotPie where you can ask all the tricky questions in the safety of your slippers. This is a great place to start because it gives you an opportunity to explore the fantasy with real people, and get real answers to your questions.

It’s also quite acceptable on line to mention that you are new to this kind of thing. Lots of people on dating sites call themselves ‘bi curious’, which means they are new or only dip their toe in the water once in a while.

You will also find that if you mention you’re a newbi (newbee) many of the bi couples and singles are happy to talk with you about their experiences if you ask for advice.

Of course these days’ ladies you don’t have to be that brave to literally walk up to some sexy thing in a club and plant a big wet kiss on their lips. Aside from making a lasting impression the odds are it won’t be their first and as they say ‘luck rewards the brave’. So pucker up and French a friend! You never know you may just like it, and who knows you may just be doing your bit for world peace after all.


1 Remember to take things at your own speed. Experiencing anything new is exciting. Don’t let your chemicals trick you into believing it means more than it does.

2 Each to their own Don’t judge yourself or others. And don’t feel like you have to label yourself one thing or another. The whole point is to enjoy alternate and new experiences, not to redefine who you are. Remember chicken one day or fish another, the person eating them is still the same.

3 Explore on line Have a few fun experiences on line first. You’ll start to get the idea and learn your own limits.

4 Admit you are new If you do feel extra nervous or unsure don’t be afraid to tell people you are new. Remember they have ALL been there at one point and often their experience will help you over your nerves.

5 Relax and have fun

Remember its all about fun. Keep it that way.