Oh dear. I still cringe at the memory of my worst shag ever. My gf of many years and I were out on the town one night and we both were enjoying a drink or ten when she whispered to me that she was horny and wanted to go home right away.

So we ended back at home and I was looking forward to a good romp. She immediately went down on me and started to give me a deep-throat headjob. Awesome I thought to myself. Then she gagged a little. Oh yeah... take it all I thought... What happened next can only be described as being like that scene from The Exorcist. She spewed on me. Right there, on the bed. Not just a little 'vurp' but a continuous fire hose like stream of bourbon and half digested kebab all over me, all over the sheets, and in an uninterrupted stream to the bathroom.