Party screening processes not inclusive

February 25 2023

I have regularly seen in the forums that to start to get out and meet the best way is to go to private or social events. My wife and I have tried to attend these in the past and it really has not been our vibe. We thought we might try again given the feedback that has been mentioned many times in the forums and we thought we would give it another go. I requested details for such event in a few months time so we could book a hotel and received a message that listed a contact to send some recent clothed and underwear only photos of me and my wife including face to be “screened” to attend. We did as asked. The response was simple and to the point. “Thank you for your request to attend our event. You do not meet our strict screening criteria”. And that was that. Has anybody else found this kind of exclusionary behaviour when wanting to attend an event?


  • teamaj2


    a year ago

    Sorry to hear that you have been disheartened in regards to events /parties . Being rejected, for whatever reason is not a great feeling .
    We attended an event in Melbourne quite a few times years ago and they had the same vetting process . Our friends sent their pictures and were rejected . There are a nice looking couple . Maybe their profile which stated what kinks they were into weren’t what the hosts wanted at their event ? Who knows . I suppose it’s like being rejected when sending messages to people . We never know why it’s a no thanks .
    I would suggest trying different events ? They all vary so much .
    I used to help co host an event , which sadly no longer runs . People were never asked for pictures . It was run as an all inclusive , everyone is welcome monthly event . Single guys did have to go through a vetting process as their numbers were limited and it was important they showed utmost respect for boundaries etc .
    I guess all organisers are entitled to want a certain demographic to attend their event . They often know what works in terms of age , looks etc to make a successful night , especially if it’s a small gathering . Bigger events can accommodate a more mixed bag . Good luck . Ax

  • boobsandbusted


    a year ago

    Maybe you would have more
    Luck if you didn’t have a verified male profile and had a verified couple profile , if I was screening that would be my reason for excluding you ,all pics of you , none of wife , tick for you ,not a couple profile verification ,yeah nah , but that’s just my opinion ,

  • Freaky_Fun


    a year ago

    Attend Meet and Greets, get to know people. Hosts of parties then know you're genuine.
    It's a small world, people know people and will let others know if you've been a dick.

  • Blueyesxxx


    a year ago

    Sorry for your less than positive experience. I too have applied for events and received a very similar response. As a solo guy nots not longer in my late 20’s early 30’s I’m not so surprised. However hearing that you as a couple received a similar response is quite surprising.

  • MsSuperFoxy


    a year ago

    It's not you, it's them.
    Do you really want to be around people who are not open minded who stick to their own "exclusive" club, listen to rumours/gossip about others and all that incestious crap that goes on?
    As they say, what's trash to some, is treasure to others.
    There's always club and events happening. Just go to ones that interest you. Don't worry what others think.

    Ms Foxy

  • Sawadee


    a year ago

    We've never been to any of these social gatherings, but l have been reliably told unless your involved with one of the cliques ' its hardly worth your while being there..
    Still ' l think thats one of the rudest ill mannered things lve read here for quite awhile..

  • Flirty2020


    a year ago

    Some people like cabbage and others don’t. Some smoke whilst other dislike smokers.

    Everyone has their preferences. Throw sex into the equation and it becomes even more difficult.

    Don’t take it personally.

  • Opalrose


    a year ago

    If you’re unhappy with the screening process you can always put the effort in and run your own private party. Then you’ll soon see why there is a screening process.

    I wouldn’t attend a private event that wasn’t screened. I have in the past, to find slobs, creepers, druggies, and a predatory vibe.

    Go to a club, mingle, and find some people to gel with.

  • FeistyFatty


    a year ago

    This is actually very common. I host my own gatherings as well and we all like what we like ... Not everyone is everyone's cuppa tea. I hope you find an event or party that suits you both and you get to enjoy that dynamic xx

  • badboyhere


    a year ago

    👍 okay, I appreciate everybody’s responses that have commented. What has been very surprising is that close to 50 people viewed my profile (which was not my objective here) since starting this topic and only a small portion of people actually took the time to comment. I guess they wanted to see if I was a fat old slob or not, which I am happy to say that I am not, thankfully.
    The size 4 onlyfans content creator look a likes and muscle bound Greek gods that looked at my profile that attend such parties might disagree. Ha ha
    I also take on board some comments around the single guy v couple profile concern. Sure there was always going to be some negative comments about this. It is what it is.
    This appears to be one of those subjects where most people decided that it was a difficult one to answer for fear it will be taken the wrong way.
    The usual negative comments appeared as expected but there was also some that could see that choosing not to be inclusive was not cool by them, so I feel I my wife and I don’t feel like we are alone in our thoughts around this.
    I guess it reaffirms that parties and events continue not to be our thing.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    a year ago

    For anyone GENUINE who would like to ‘crack’ the Swingers scene, there’s a few things to keep in mind . . . most of which almost every comment above mentions. With alacrity, vast experience and empathy.
    But just a consideration first that hasn’t already been mentioned - people in my generation and older, grew up with such an unhealthy and repressed view of sex. Monogamy was the ONLY choice. Kink was criminal. Swinging was cheating..
    To finally live in a world/culture that openly discusses sex and where pornographic content of EVERY description is available to absolutely EVERYbody . . . it’s actually SUPREMELY confronting to be middle aged, past your physical peak, maybe grey-haired, probably wrinkled, almost definitely ’wobbly’ in many places . . . and want to play in a community where younger generations have comfortably been brought up respecting. And therefore being a part of..
    To then be excluded from this community simply because of the year you were born in - does SUCK.
    BUT, as with everything, you have to look at ways to find the positive. And you HAVE to be PRAGMATIC..
    After applying to events where I liked the look of the other attendees, only to be gently rejected, I realised that I wasn’t ‘wanted’ at these events. Which meant I had to look for events where I WOULD be ‘wanted’. And even when you get accepted to these events, there will STILL be potential negatives..
    Many Swinging scenes have ‘cliques’. Many Swinging scenes have ‘unpleasant’ personalities. Many Swinging scenes have poor organisation or management. Like every other type of community group in our country 🤪
    Are you going to quit it ALL because one or two events/experiences were bad?.
    There are SO MANY ways to overcome the initial rejection. Read the other comments from some seriously good sources (above). They have written GOLD ✨✨✨. .
    Be actively searching. Attend non-sexual events like munches. Join online groups and forums. Get SEEN and KNOWN by people in the scene..
    Don’t give up - keep looking.

  • deepestpurple


    a year ago

    Maybe you could try being a good boy and then more people would want to play with you and invite you to their parties.