First timers, needing advice

Comments

Page 1 of 1 Prev 1 Next

• 

  evo67

  10 days ago

  You guys need to do what feels comfortable, you will find a couple that will be willing to do what makes you comfortable. If not if you get to Brissy look us up and we’ll follow your dreams

  reply

  like

  report

• 

  teamaj2

  10 days ago

  Everyone will have different advice possibly based on their own personal journey .
  We talked and talked and talked about this for years . The pitfalls , what avenues we wanted to explore with others , how it may affect our relationship etc I feel no one can really know the answers to those questions are prior dipping their toes into exploration waters . Our boundaries have changed over the years , what we thought we were seeking definitely changed and our relationship continues to flourish .
  Obviously you are both curious and having lots of conversations. It’s a great start .
  If you are unsure what you seek , I would recommend attending an event . I’m unsure what choices you have in NSW . I’m sure others could give you an idea where to go .
  At the events we have attended there is no pressure to play . You can observe ,socialise , play and not allow others to join but encourage them to watch . It’s your journey and you two write your own rule book .
  It’s important to check in with each other during the night . Also after you attend events its equally as important to discuss everything without fear of recriminations.
  I remember our first event . It was so so exciting to be surrounded by sexy like minded people . We met amazing people even though we were very unsure of ourselves . We only played with each other the first night at the event but we invited a couple back to our place . We were on a heightened sexual high for weeks and eager to explore further .
  Good luck whatever pathway you choose and have fun . Ax

  reply

  like

  report

• 

  teamaj2

  10 days ago

  @teamaj2 I have been thinking on your forum post and wish we had been given some advice prior proceeding . A few things to note prior -
  ⁃ Have some boundaries and wish lists in place . Be mindful these will shift in time . It’s okay to change these as long as you both agree . Never pressure each other to change boundaries if someone is unsure .
  ⁃ Always check in with each other prior proceeding with play with others .
  ⁃ It’s okay to be unsure and it’s good to push yourselves to explore things you may not have considered . You can then decide what’s for you and what’s not . Not every exploration will be a mind blowing success and that is okay .
  ⁃ We found speaking to people at parties and events very enlightening and broadened our outlook.
  ⁃ This applies to us - our number one most important rule in all this is each other and our relationship. Don’t let hedonistic pleasure get you carried away . Surely no one wants their partner feeling unsure or uncomfortable. We have seen many couple’s relationships fail under the pressure of one wanting to continue with this lifestyle and the other decided it wasn’t for them .
  ⁃ It’s such an exciting time in your relationship. Enjoy the journey . A x
  

  reply

  like

  report

• 

  Sawadee

  10 days ago

  The first time we visited a club we were just as green and unsure like you guys. We were all wide eye'd and didnt know what to expect.. ln fact we didnt do much at all except take in all the activity around us.. We got chatting with a few different couples who were super friendly and willing to show us the way , but we just was' nt ready to take that next step and there was no pressure so regretably we passed up the offers.. So we left without doing anything... But that was just us and the only regret was passing up the offers .
  The point l'd like to make is whatever you do ' dont over think things, thats the thing that will hold you back more than anything.. If you look for negatives you will find them.. My advice is go with a open mind and see what eventuates .. Dont die wondering...
  

  reply

  like

  report

• 

  Mr_Interested

  10 days ago

  @teamaj2 Great advice Teamaj2. My wife and I are also at a similar point as funsydcpl in our sexual exploration journey. We will discuss the points you raised. For us it has been the open and honest communication around our sexual desires and fantasies that have opened up our relationship to new highs.

  reply

  like

  report

• 

  Margo_Lover

  9 days ago

  Lots of great advice here from everyone.
  
  We chose a club for our first experience, as it gave us lots of options, with no obligations.
  
  From doing nothing at all, to being voyeurs and watching some fun, meeting people, playing ourselves in a closed room, playing in an open room... or even touching someone new.
  
  Meeting couples one on one is great too, but you need to factor in at least 50% of people here just time wasters, with no intention of meeting. Thats before you consider all the fakes. Plus you gotta find a 4 way connection, which isn't easy.
  
  So our vote is the club, simple, go when you like. No need to spend weeks or more matching with people, chatting & setting up a meeting.
  
  - Alex.

  reply

  like

  report

• 

  teamaj2

  9 days ago

  @Margo_Lover Great advice Alex . I totally agree . The four way connection we find difficult . No one should take one for the team so to speak . Ax

  reply

  like

  report

• 

  MersennePrime

  9 days ago

  You’d be surprised what dynamics exist and what appeals.
  
  As some have stated, coupling can be difficult to navigate and sometimes you learn by experiences which are slightly awkward.
  
  Abi and I went through the “taking one for the team” a few times but the best nights we had were playing to the what each person felt comfortable with - for example the best night we had was Abi and the guy watching me and the girl before they went off to another room and had their fun.
  
  Just so happens that worked for us that night. Other times Abi or I have been happy to watch the other be the focus of a couple.
  
  Sitting comfortably with a whiskey and a cigarette being the voyeur really worked for me on a couples of occasions.
  
  Experiment and laugh about it 😊

  reply

  like

  report

• 

  Margo_Lover

  9 days ago

  @teamaj2 It's so difficult to find, we date solo probably more often than together these days.
  
  Wasn't our intention to go that way, but we're enjoying it nonetheless ❤️ - Alex

  reply

  like

  report

• 

  teamaj2

  8 days ago

  @Margo_Lover Strange how the goal posts move once you start exploring . We were very keen for couples encounters and sadly found many pitfalls. Finding four people all mutually attracted with the same wish lists just wasn’t happening ( for us anyway - many would disagree ). So pleased things are progressing well for yourself and Margo , may it long continue . Ax

  reply

  like

  report

Page 1 of 1 Prev 1 Next