An open post about unsafe sex

May 27 2024

I'll share a very raw view on why I pursue this option. I want people to feel they can own their stance despite it not being the widely-accepted social view.

I state on my profile I don't use protection. Doesn't mean I fuckboy about town but I don't enjoy the feel of latex on my dick.
So, I am up front about it and make sure the conversation happens so they have no misconception about my deal-breaker.

Why? Because over time I've found at least half of the people I've fucked are of a similar mindset too. They love the risk, the flavour of being spontaneous or just simply like being cummed in. I and they seem to enjoy the sex more.

So why would I go back to experiences where I don't feel it as intensely?

For one - the risk of unwanted pregnancy. Secondly - infections.
The first one is a slight risk but if you pick your partner and take the time to understand her, you'll get a sense of if she's a fkn loony. Most who are open to unprotected sex will be using some level of contraception.
The second one is almost a given if you play the way I do (cue triggers from some). However, if you're prepared to speak about this in detail and be an adult about it, you'll understand how to mitigate the risk (not eradicate it).

Me - I've caught chlamydia 3 times and gonorrhea once in 9 years. Does it worry me? I test frequently enough and have limited partners but at times I have the odd random one-off. I'll tell my partners of this and that I'll test in a couple of weeks. Their call - and amazingly, some are happy to take the risk. "Tell me if it comes back positive" one said to me after such a conversation.

I'm in no way advocating. I'm sharing my experience and observations from the last 8 years because there's so much fucking judgement out there from people who have never even bothered to manage risk. Be curious, not judgemental.

I feel this may trigger a few but it's not meant for you. It's meant to show that vulnerability is power and there is another view on risk.

Comments

  • Mrs_Deep_Love

    Mrs_Deep_Love

    16 days ago

    Someone close to me had 6 children while taking the pill.

    Let that sink in....

  • Mrs_Deep_Love

    Mrs_Deep_Love

    16 days ago

    I assure you women spend their daily lives managing risk. Being bothered is only the privilege of men.

  • Andrea_Sydney

    Andrea_Sydney

    16 days ago

    I have never played without condoms. Never had unwanted pregnancy, never caught any infections.
    I personally don’t understand the thrill of risk, what’s that for. Vulnerability is power for emotional vulnerability, 100%. For physical vulnerability, it’s not power, I disagree.
    If a man doesn’t want to wear a condom and is happy to put me at risk on these two levels because he doesn’t like latex on his dick, he’s out. End of discussion.
    I noticed you are not against opposing opinions, so I gave into my inner “ugh, just leave it” and just said it.

  • FeistyFatty

    FeistyFatty

    16 days ago

    Holy fuck! You've actually caught STDs?..... Multiple times??
    My mind is blown.
    No one likes condoms, lets face it we're all human. I have used condoms with my husband EVER (got on the pill at 13).
    With others though..... Casual interactions.... ALWAYS.
    Regular playmates (tested).... Rarely
    Never caught an STD and NEVER had a whoops pregnancy.
    Both would be absolutely horrendous 🫣

  • Kt_Kcouple

    Kt_Kcouple

    16 days ago

    Also even if you get tested regularly, having unprotected P in V sex with multiple partners for women definitely increases their risk of BV-not technically an STI but really unpleasant to have to contend with and much better to avoid by having play partners other than primary partner use condoms!!

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    16 days ago

    Humm ok
    I have so many questions! I'm curious.
    1st up; what's a "fkn looney"?
    2ndly: What exactly is "the play" the way you do?
    3rdly: You state "most are open to using unprotected sex and are using some sort of contraception, so you rely on the women to protect themselves because you dont like the feel of latex??
    4th What responsibility would you take if she did "accidently" fall pregnant? Would you be accountable in raising the child or would you be spontanous and bolt onto your next victim who likes risks?

    Ms Foxy

  • Flirty2020

    Flirty2020

    15 days ago

    RagnarPrime, the title of your post mentions UNSAFE sex. Yet within the post there is mention of UNPROTECTED sex. The two are very different in my opinion. Allow me to elaborate.

    My husband and I do not use any “protection” (for example a condom) when we have sex with one another. We have no need to, as he has had a vasectomy and thus there will be no more pregnancies. The sex that we enjoy with one another is UNPROTECTED, however it is not considered UNSAFE as we are both STD/STI free and in fact have not had sex with others for a couple of years now.

    He was my first, and in this regard we have had an active sex life (3-4 times a week) for almost 27 years now. During this time neither of us have contracted any sexually transmitted diseases or infections. In the beginning (I was a virgin) we used condoms for a month or so, and I then went onto the pill. For me personally, I could not feel much difference between his penis if it was wrapped in a condom or not. I orgasm from a combination of G-spot and or clitoral stimulation.

    We would not be so nonchalant, nor boastful, if we caught chlamydia 3 times and gonorrhoea once, in the past 8-9 years. I believe that women are far more prone to sexually transmitted diseases/infections than men (due to our sexual anatomy) and I shudder at the thought of how many women you might have infected in the past 8-9 years, simply because you refuse to wear a condom.

    For us, the risks far outweigh the rewards. A few moments of raw unsafe (unprotected) pleasure with a stranger, is not worth the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease/infection, that may then take months of years to treat (in my opinion ). There is no cure for HIV AIDS as an example.

    When we have played (had sex ) with others from this site, it has always been “safe sex” for all activities. This has been non negotiable and we have made it very clear, before even meeting up with others, that safe sex is very important to us. As is impeccable hygiene. The two do go hand on hand I believe.

    My husband does agree that wearing a condom does detract from the sensations of his penis entering a warm, wet vagina. It is like washing the dishes with rubber gloves he says. You don’t feel the warm wet water. Clearly most men would prefer not to wear a condom when they have sex. Fortunately for us, the men that we have played with via RHP have ALL worn condoms and all believed in the importance of practicing safe sex.

    Does this mean that the sex with them is dull and not exciting nor spontaneous ? Of course not. Sex is not just about penetration. For us it is about the whole evening, the encounter, the setting …. but then we consider ourselves to be hedonists.

    We prefer to discuss and establish the boundaries, ground rules, likes and dislikes well before playing so that when the time comes to play, everything can happen naturally & organically. And that there will be mutual respect, on both sides, to ensure that boundaries & ground rules are adhered to.

    It has certainly worked for us. Not only do we enjoy a great sex life, but neither of us have ever (in our lifetimes) contracted any sexually transmitted diseases / infections.

    There is a saying along the lines that one is only as safe (from STI/STD’s) as the last person that one slept with. Yes there is a risk when one has sex with others (outside of our marriage) and all that one can do is to take steps to minimise the risk. Nothing is truly safe besides monogamy.

    We have enjoyed our sex lives, and the occasional 3 some & 4 some, and will continue to do so, on our terms and always respectful of our boundaries.

  • nightingale8

    nightingale8

    15 days ago

    It’s true a lot of people don’t use condoms. I’d say to them that at the very least they need to educate themselves over and above about STIs - what they are, history, how they work, changing prevalence, treatment and prevention (vaccines and prophylactics!)

    Because they are driving most of the transmissions.

    And don’t get your info from social media. I find it quite funny that so much of the health information comes from taut and glistening 20-40 somethings who could probably start each day swallowing a tablespoon of gunpowder and still look ridiculously good. Advice from a healthy fit and happy 70 year old would be far more convincing…

    Agreed it’s not helping anyone to shame people with STIs or who have a history. Because that’s also driving transmissions if you think about it. We’re all human. Better to own your actions, thanks for raising the topic Ragnar.

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    15 days ago

    I kinda get your post OP, giving others a choice. I get that. However, I believe the way you are going around it, by putting it onto your partners or potential partners, is a little seedy.
    Even my bestie who is gay and part of the gay community, believes so too because you haven't mentioned PREP or how you look after you! Yeah, you've caught STDs, but it's like, "MEH", water on a ducks back", why is that?

    Ms Foxy

  • Mrs_Deep_Love

    Mrs_Deep_Love

    15 days ago

    Have you heard of super-gonorrhoea? It's antibiotic resistant and extremely hard to get rid of.

    I'm sure your sexual health nurse can tell you how prevalent it is.

  • Obi1kenietzsche

    Obi1kenietzsche

    15 days ago

    My take on condoms for penetration is if one has a primary partner then it’s not required (provided that you both are comfortable with that), BUT on the condition that it’s condoms for everyone else outside of that primary relationship (for both yourself and for any men that she might want to play with).
    I struggled with condoms for ages until I realised that the size I was buying was actually too small.
    No boasting at all, as I’m not “huge”, it was simply that the size I was choosing just didn’t fit properly and they kept riding up which took my concentration away from what I was doing.

  • Flirtydancer

    Flirtydancer

    14 days ago

    If someone doesn't care enough about me or my health to just wear a condom, we are not going to have sex

  • RagnarPrime

    RagnarPrime

    13 days ago

    On a personal note, I’m disappointed at the lack of comment from you all on such an important subject.

    Should any of our offspring or friends encounter an sti will you be so mute and so reticent to empathise?

    Will you virtue signal to protect your status and standing or will you actually acknowledge and understand the plight of those close to you and help them through it with empathy and support?

    STI’s are a part of life. If you like it or not. The prevalence of which they grow and infect are exponential. Please live in reality and understand how the generations around and following you think and need guidance.

    The less we are judgey cunts the better.

  • Alexis

    Alexis

    13 days ago

    To me, this falls under the 'Your body, your choice' banner. Which is fine, do what you want to do.

    But also, there are other people's bodies involved, and they have to make an informed decision for themselves about their own bodies. As far as I can tell, from your post and your profile, you're very open about it and everything is consent driven. So I don't really see any issue.

    As for myself, I was very blasé about condoms when I first started exploring this world. After learning a little bit and some more experience, safe sex is mandatory now. Maybe after a while with one partner I'd go without, it depends on the situation. The risk just isn't worth the reward for me.

  • cheza

    cheza

    12 days ago

    The spontaneity and feeling that raw offers makes the sex hotter. Regular testing and healthy partners. If my partner wants me to use condoms I will of course, but if my choice…….

  • cheza

    cheza

    12 days ago

    Sometimes no symtoms

  • couplelooking

    couplelooking

    11 days ago

    I respect your choices with no judgement at all, but also respect those whose choice no condom no play! For us as a couple or even when I was single I would never take a chance and put myself at risk by not using a condom. Have played for many years and never caught anything.. on this platform everyone’s looking for like minded play mates which are different for all , we all filtering through chatting to others to find this , and sometimes feels like forever but never judge others boundaries!

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    9 days ago

    That's exactly what the OP has done! Judged others for their bounderies and called them "judgemental c*nts*.

    Ms Foxy 😞

  • haveheart

    haveheart

    6 days ago

    As someone whose day to day job is treating people for unwanted pregnancies and STIs or complications of them - this post is not only gross but also highlights why I have to have these conversations with adults day in and day out - despite what would seemingly be common knowledge of how to mitigate risks. Gloating about your collection of STIs due to poor life decisions on your part and then attempting to normalize it to others who choose to engage in safe sex - is highly ignorant at best. Your choice to minimise the risks in this post by discussing your seemingly flippant consequences you've experienced is blatantly obvious. The consequences which to women is significantly higher than they'd ever be to you - which you'd know given how apparently educated on sexual health you claim to be.