Frequently Asked Questions to Samantha

Tips For First Time MFM

We are going to be doing a MFM with a new male, he has not done this before. What suggestions would you have for us, to make the night a lot of fun ?
In spite of the bravado that many men display in their RHP profiles, many single guys are just as nervous as anyone else about new experiences, especially when it involves getting naked AND producing an erection.

With guys who are new to group sex situations, the best thing you can do is be as inclusive as possible. Involve him as part of a team rather than an outsider that is coming in to do a job. He will appreciate being made to feel like a friend which will take the focus off sex.

Ensure you go over any ground rules that are important to you so he knows what to expect. If he needs to bring his own condoms, then you should let him know that. If you prefer that kissing or other elements of play doesn't happen then he needs to know all that too, as well as if there is any male to male contact expected. These things are better discussed well before entering the bedroom. There could be unwelcome tension if these tricky things are raised mid-thrust.

It makes sense to meet a new guy over drinks and socialise first. It's ideal to develop some rapport and connect socially before anyone takes their clothes off. Engage in some light conversation at first before talking about the naughtier things that you may have all done. It's a good ice breaker and will set you up nicely for the night.

If your new guy seems sure he'd like to proceed with the threesome, then perhaps he should be given a little bit of time alone with the lady in the bedroom rather than jump straight into a double penetration session. Let him get a feel for her and make the situation as normal as possible initially. Gradually bring in hubby but keep the focus on the lady at all times. After all, MFM is decidedly all about the F. There's no need to say much to him but as long as the lady is having fun, that will be more than enough indication for him to know he's doing a good job.

If things don't go to plan and he is too nervous to get an erection or can't maintain one, then let hubby take over for penetration and get your guy to enjoy the show. He might feel less nervous as a voyeur and be able to have another go again. Otherwise, let the guy know that he can please the lady in other ways. Whatever you do, it's important to not let him feel bad for what is a perfectly natural reaction to a foreign scenario. He'll no doubt become more used to the situation with practice.

Read more Q&A's like this: Men's Sexual Issues, Couple's Issues, Threesomes/Moresomes

All About the Bass?

Do guys really care about size? how many guys go for bigger girls and what turns them on about bigger girls.
I'm starting to lose faith that I will ever find a man.
I have spent enough time on RedHotPie now to know that curvy gals get as much action and admiration as the slimmer ladies (if not more!).
I think guys have a much more generous view of what 'average' is than we women do. For example, going by your profile photos, most guys wouldn't consider you to be a bigger size at all. Women on the other hand feel morbidly obese if we don't look anything remotely like a Victoria's Secret model. We've only just come to realise that even models don't actually look like themselves thanks to the overuse of Photoshop in the advertising world.
There will always be men who think they deserve a Victoria's Secret model (even though they're carrying a keg themselves) but the majority of men put other factors ahead of body shape. If you are confident, then that's way more sexy than a size 6 body. Embrace your curves and learn how to use them. Men love the softness of a woman's body and if there's more to hold and touch, it's a bonus. If you've been blessed with a killer cleavage, then say no more. Get them front and centre and you'll have any man's attention!

Read more Q&A's like this: Women's Sexual Issues, Dating/Relationship

GP Shy

Is there anything available to help with impotence without going to the doctor?
There are probably a thousand products on the market out there that promises long lasting erection at the drop of a hat. Sexual performance products have become a massive industry but who knows which of them actually work? You can take a punt, do some research and order up a few of the products that seem to get the best reviews.
However, if you have a genuine impotence problem that may be related to your physical health, you MUST consult your GP. Never mind pleasing the ladies; inability to get an erection (particularly if you're not in your 60s and above) may be pointing to other underlying issues with your health. In most cases it's probably not serious but this is not the time to get all shy about talking penis stuff with your doctor.
Once you clear all health issues with your GP you can talk to him about pharmaceutical assistance. If he is happy with your health, he'll write you a script for the magic pills. He (or she) will not think you're a pervert for wanting to have an erection.
As tempting as it may be DO NOT under any circumstances take prescription drugs without consulting your doctor first.

Read more Q&A's like this: Men's Sexual Issues, Couple's Issues

Greedy Girl To Be?

Hi Sam. My wife is an extremely attractive woman who has a big fantasy of being with more than one guy at the one time. When we make love, she is constantly simulating giving head to about 3 guys while we're at it. I'm totally cool with that - in fact the thought of her being with 3-4 guys really turns me on. I've suggested swingers clubs - but she always balks at he idea. I really want to give her what she wants - but I'm really not sure how to go about it. Can you please give me some urgent advice? Thanks.
Many women are highly turned on by the idea of being serviced by a team of guys but not all of them will ever actually go through with it in the real world. Fantasies are wonderful, natural enhancers and sometimes that's all they need to be.
I think you need to definitely work out what she really wants. If you're sure that she's game to try something with another man, then a swingers club isn't your answer (at this stage anyway!). It's probably wise to start her off with meeting just the one man. There are many eligible guys on RedHotPie to choose from and your lady should definitely be part of the selection process.
Once she has chosen a guy she likes, make a date to have drinks first. Play can come later if everyone agrees. If your wife is indeed up for some multiple male fun, she probably will be keen to move on to a hotel room.
In terms of play, do work out with your wife what she prefers before things get steamy. She may want to start off slow just with the other guy, or she may feel more comfortable making love with you first while your guests watches and joins in at the appropriate time.
If your first session works out well, then you may want to ask your new friend if he knows a mate that could lend a... hand :)

Read more Q&A's like this: Couple's Issues, Threesomes/Moresomes

Lasting Too Long

Hi. Im a 39 year old guy that just loves everything about sex just like most guys. Anyway, lately in the last three months I have been having a problem with cumming. It seems to take hours (like sometimes two to three) with intercourse, oral and sometimes hand relief. It used to be like an hour and a bit with all that. What I would like to know is should I be really concerned by what's happening and why would this happen?
I don't think you need to be too concerned. It just sounds to me that you're at a point in your sex life where an orgasm just takes a bit longer to achieve. This happens to a lot of men except a majority of them probably only needed a fraction of an hour to reach orgasm. You simply set a higher benchmark for yourself so needing another hour or so to orgasm makes sense.
It probably wouldn't hurt to go and see your doctor however and ensure that your plumbing is all working. This is important if you have erectile problems as well as delayed orgasms. If however you have always taken a long time to orgasm (even as a teenager) and you can still achieve and maintain a good erection, I would suggest that you simply have formed a pattern of delayed orgasm. Do you take the same sort of time to orgasm even through masturbation on your own?
While many people would assume being able to go for hours is a good thing, I appreciate that you or your partner may find it annoying or frustrating at times. If your partner isn't really up for marathon sessions, let her take the lead. If she wants to rest and do something non-sexual for a while, then do that. If she wants a break from intercourse then work on pleasing her for a while and take the focus off your own orgasm. With any luck the stop/start style of play may speed things up for you.

Read more Q&A's like this: Men's Sexual Issues, Couple's Issues

What's Wrong With Us?

Hi Sam,
We are new to the swinging scene and consider ourselves a decent average everyday looking couple and quite fun with great personalities. We have contacted quite a number of couples who we consider to be 'on par' and attractive looks wise and given access to our private gallery which contains our face pics (tasteful, ie no nudity). We seem to be getting a lot of either no response whatsoever or 'no thanks'. We know and accept that everyone has personal tastes, as we do ourselves, but on some profiles we see some of these couples have met with other couples that we wouldn't consider any more attractive than us or almost old enough to be their parents. It's getting kind of disheartening and we are starting to feel like we have two heads. We are thinking that maybe we are just unattractive full stop and giving it away as a unfulfilled fantasy as there only seems to be Supermodel shoppers out there. Cheers.
Rest assured that many couples have experienced the same thing as you but have happily gone on to meet other couples for fun and friendship. You just need to go through a process of trial and error to see what seals the deal for you. It may simply be that while you're not unattractive, perhaps your photos are letting you down? At any rate, try a new set of flattering photos that you could get your family & friends to rate (they don't need to know what they're for!).
Perhaps also hold back from sharing your private gallery until you've had a reasonable exchange of messages to let your great personalities shine first. Some couples are time poor so may demand PGs right away but perhaps they aren't the sort of people you'd want to meet anyway?
Also, don't always assume that your looks/pics are the deal breaker. It could simply be that some couples are only seeking to hook up with a new couple every so often and perhaps another couple just pipped you to the post. You also mentioned that you are fairly new to the swinging scene so if this has been mentioned on your profile, some couples may find this a little unnerving. If that's the case, it may be worth targeting other newbies who may not be that hung up on physical attributes and would prefer someone with less expectations. Right or wrong, couples do fine-tune their preferences as they get more experienced in the scene and if absolutely all boxes aren't ticked for them, they'd rather not meet. It may be superficial but as most couples are busy people (many with families), it's more a problem of them wanting to ensure a perfect fit than something being wrong with you.
So to increase your chances of actually meeting couples, do a bit of experimenting with your profile and photos. Do also consider attending various events and parties for couples posted on RedHotPie. Most are very newbie-friendly and an actual meet will ensure you get a chance to endear yourselves to other couples.
As you get more experienced in meeting couples, you'll care less about how other people may or may not be viewing you. In most cases, it's them, not you.

Read more Q&A's like this: Couple's Issues

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