What does it mean if you like to be spanked during sex?

Submit Comment
If you want to be spanked during sex, does that say something strange about you? ...

Erotic spanking has lost much of its stigma but it still remains something many people are nervous to admit they'd like to try out. 


Erotic spanking is a practice that many people who say "they're not into BDSM will try out". As to why it's popular, both among those who don't associate with the BDSM community and those who consider themselves sadomasochists, is simple - it feels good.

If you want to be spanked during sex, does that say something strange about you? Is it weird or anti-feminist that you might or do enjoy it? 

Is it ok to be turned on by being dominated and being punished? Or, maybe you're not really worried about any of that and just want to know how to do it right?

You're in the right place!

Here's a break down on why you want to be spanked, why it's perfectly ok and a few tips on how to properly and safely engage and add some kink to your sex life.

Why you're turned on by being spanked

There is no exact reason why some people enjoy spanking. There are a varied of factors that might influence your desire for spanking. Some enjoy the submissive role of the role-play of punishment and pleasure. It's completely natural for the added spank, nibble, grab or hair pull to bring us over the edge. 

Another more obvious factor is the taboo tends to make this kink more appealing and sexy. 

What indulging in spanking might say about you (if you care)

What it can say about you is - that you are open-minded and willing to explore beyond the conventional sexual desires. Beyond that, it's hard to really say. We are very complex, so many theories can be used to explain this desire. Including the most popular theory rooted in early experiences of pleasure and pain. But this it's not always the case. It can simply be that it feels amazing to you. When the butt is spanked, it brings blood to the surface of the skin, making the area warm and more sensitive to touch. If you enjoy a bit of spanking it could simply mean that your body positively responds to this kind of impact. Unpredicted stimuli fire up our dopamine receptors which, in turn, gives us sexual pleasure. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be spanked

Your sexuality is yours to explore and as long as it's consensual, safe and you stipulate your boundaries, don't let others stop you. 

It takes courage to share your desires with someone. Never be ashamed or shame others for their desires. The bottom line is that if you are doing it safely, you have nothing to worry about. 

Some fun tips on erotic spanking

Make sure that if you are going to try it that you constantly check in with your partner. Whether you are using your hand or a paddle, start slowly. You need to understand the distance, range and how hard to go. It takes a bit of work to get it just right. So vary speed, intensity and types of stokes. 

If you're using your hands remove any jewellery. Tease your partner with anticipation - smack your own hand to startle them with the sound. Keep your spanking to the lower butt cheeks. Space out your spanking and in between spanking rub the area with your palm ensuring there is time for your partner to communicate how they're feeling.

Spanking is not only fine, it can be a lot of fun. If you like spanking what does it say about you? It says that you are lots of fun and willing to explore your sexuality. Just remember safety and consent are a must in anything sexual. 

Spanking is not something everyone likes, or should feel compelled to like. So without judgement politely decline and that's the end of it.

What turns you on about erotic spanking? Let us know in the comments below.

Author's Corner

Christina Miller
211 articles

Writing interesting pieces about sex, the lifestyle and the different aspects of human sexuality is a challenge that Christina will endeavour to take. When she’s not blogging, she loves to exercise, watch movies and go to the beach whenever she can.

Copyright @ 2018 RedHotPie. Please read RedHotPie Article disclaimer.
Please log in to post a comment.
0 Character Count - (Max 1000 Characters)
Post Comment
Posted: Aug, 12 2018
Nothing better than a girl over my knee, held with a fist full of hair, feeling every spank with their whole body... every time I have done it, it has been the most amazing experience....
Posted: Aug, 08 2018
God I need to meet you lol!!
Posted: Jul, 13 2018
I wish it
Posted: Jul, 04 2018
I watched for one hour a stranger fucking my wife but during that time he continued to slap her arse cheeks both cheeks were bright red looking sore but she never complained to him but when i tried doing the same only softer she told me not to she doesn't like it cant figure her out
Posted: Jul, 02 2018
I love spanking the booty with my bbc
Posted: Jun, 29 2018
I love being spanked
Posted: Jun, 16 2018
I love being spanked and ordered to suck harder and faster when I’m giving a guy a blowjob . Works when you’re sort of in a 69 position. I love being dominated and having someone impose their will on me ...spanking is someone being in charge and having power over you .
Posted: Jun, 16 2018
It is one of life’s finer pleasures to treasure. The need to tease and please in multiple ways gets better and better if you explore, try it you might adore.....
Posted: Jun, 15 2018
There is such an incredible feeling of power and dominance, as I start to gently spank her quivering rump, then touch her by now wet and juicy lips, slide a finger between them, as another slap lands on the other cheek. Rhythmically slaps land on one cheek after the other, turning them redder and redder, feeling the heat coming of them while my finger finds your clit as you get wetter and wetter. Oh what a feeling.
Posted: Jun, 15 2018
We have just started exploring this. I love beinytied up in sexy lingerie and having my arse slapped, first with the panties on. A slap a rub with the hand and a kiss. Keeping the pace up, pulling my panties down, the anticipation of waiting for the next one. Love love love it.
Posted: Jun, 14 2018
I love a good spanking...as a prelude to a nice whipping.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
Quite simply it means you like to be spanked.

After all, it's well known that if you like anal and threesomes you must be kinky! Or so I'm told...
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
Omg I just fell asleep..
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
love spanking a good assssssssssssss :P
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
There is more to it than explained here. There are those that get into another head space where each time they are spanked harder the more thrill.
As said too much variations on this subject and I am a Dom of 40 years.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
ONE: all this talk about "consenting" and not being "coerced" is well and good and necessary for an “advice column” (so you don’t leave yourself open), but all women who want to be spanked know what your saying is not the simple truth.

My first foray into this place and "bamm" , Red Pills straight up.
Great post.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
Hmm, yes, I love to be spanked & the domination play that goes with it. Insta-wet!
Anyone ready to spank? 😉
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
Love the sound and the gasp from that first spank you give.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
EIGHT; Since I discovered all this my orgasm and squirting intensity and number of times has risen to up to a dozen at a time over an hour period and leaves me shattered emotionally and intellectually for days – ironically a good spanking takes the sting out of me LOL.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
SEVEN; Sometimes I say I am too sore in either my asshole or pussy and we change holes and then, suddenly he takes me again where I am too sore, and I submit and cum again and again precisely because I submitted. Imagine if he didnt take that initiative and stayed with the “I am too sore”. But, if I do say “that’s it” then that is it. That’s the way it should be. Get rid of the talking, correcting, dialog nonsense in between, get on with the ride or you will never be happy.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
SIX; Spanking, pretend anger, domination when used to punish me for not being bad enough, quick enough, not sucking his cock correctly, not doing the most depraved thing with the right moans or whimpers of pleasure (from kicking his asshole, playing the rusty trombone, to spreading my cheeks just precisely etc) is what drives me (and my other girlfriends who are into this) further and harder to perform better and gain more and more approval and higher and more powerful orgasms.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
FIVE; With him I love being spanked, face slapped, hair pulled, told I am a slut - if I had to ask him to do that or he had to ask me there would be absolutely no intensity in the entire experience...
All my female friends are the same. We all want a man to “take control”. Therefore it is in the flirtation, the lead up, he must push the boundaries, read the play, be confident he has read all the signals and get on with the job, not come asking like some mummy boy or forget it.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
FOUR: I dont like being spanked by my husband because we have a deep relationship based upon my childhood (abandonment and neglect issues) thus if he does it I don’t find it sexual. But we are so intimate and talk about all things so we decided we would get a Bull who could reach the “other me”. We use a Bull to push past those fears and phobias. The Bull is a guy who knows the game, we spelled it out long before we got to the bedroom, so there is no need to hold back once in there – push new boundaries, push harder, until I cum and squirt and cry and quiver all at once.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
THREE; It all begins with flirtation. Once you get o the bedroom it should be quite clear what you wanted. Learn how to flirt. Get your husband to take you to a strip club, buy some tipping dollars and watch how the strippers open and close encounters, use their eyes, how to make suggestions and either advance or back away from that suggestion. Learn to flirt for goodness sakes before getting in the bedroom and asking whether you want to be spanked –if you don’t it may never happen (more disappointed women out there, too lazy to flirt, too stupid to learn, too unhappy with their sex lives). Introduce the subject, introduce anal sex if that’s what your into, use a joke, make a side comment, watch and listen and work with the material.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
TWO: A woman who wants to be spanked doesn’t want the responsibility of being "asked" or "checked on". It seems we have entered the age of gender confusion and millennial sexuality where men don’t know what they are themselves, let alone able “to read the play”, to “read the signals” and have the balls to carry on. Most women like to “put it out there”, then leave it to the man. In my “other life” (day to day business life) I am quite the dominant, always in control, confident woman. But in the bedroom I want to lose control.She wants to be “read”, then made to say “I am a slut” and thus “deserves to be spanked for being one”.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
ONE: all this talk about "consenting" and not being "coerced" is well and good and necessary for an “advice column” (so you don’t leave yourself open), but all women who want to be spanked know what your saying is not the simple truth. I appreciate that you are giving generic advice and that it is watered down for the ‘vanilla tastes’, but honestly, no woman wants to come out and say “treat me like a slut” without saying “I am a slut”. We all fear rejection, social conditioning rules our lives, so we want the responsibility lifted from us (we don’t want the responsibility and guilt of being a slut, but we crave to be fucked like one).
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
I enjoy being spanked for me its the submissive role I enjoy. Being a naughty girl who is being punished gets my juices flowing.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
Valerie, you know it.
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
Love a good spanking!
Posted: Jun, 13 2018
Taking off your belt without breaking eye contact.

Posted: Jun, 13 2018
The bottom line with our sexualities is that we should be getting comfortable with them and with them changing throughout our lives, but that we should never be feeling coerced or compelled for what we're doing or not.

Register for free

Username: Password: Confirm Password: Email:
  • Latest Poll
Do you like it rough?

Vote Now

Get social with us

Get our app

© 2001 - 2018 Digital Quarter Pty Ltd - All Rights Reserved
The word RedHotPie and the RedHotPie logo style are trademarks of Digital Quarter Pty Ltd. RSS