Willing to be guided into a good sub

Willing to be guided into a good sub

    | Apr 07, 2019
Eager2pleasenow  

Woman 45yrs
Hi there,

Not only am I newish to this site but I’m also EXTREMELY sick of my vanilla husband.

I am willing to try new things and he is NOT.

So my question is:

How do I sift through all of the fake Doms to get to the real, genuine, patient, guiding, slow at first as I need to be eased into it DOMINATE MASTER?

After chatting for a while I can tell that they r not real Doms and get very disappointed as it starts off with potential but either stops or the msgs just loose their intensity.

My understanding of a true Dom is someone that wud consume my every thought, someone who wants to connect every single sensory stimulation not just fucking, someone that wants to guide me into being the perfect sub, obedient and willing to learn etc.

I hv a lot to offer and am very eager but I’m loosing hope 😔

- Posted from rhpmobile
Apr 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
keepasecret2  

Man 40yrs

Hi how are you... I guess that is part of the process of finding a dom you like. There are so many different ways to dom and varies partner to partner, so for me it's always been about finding the limits so never been something you can discuss and then go straight to the top end.... but that's just my experience.
Apr 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FatFunFiesty  

Woman 39yrs

Lets watch everybody lavish advice and best wishes but if a MALE had posted this and said "I'm EXTREMELY sick of my husband" etc he would be absolutely crucified.
Apr 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
avixen

Sifting through to find a suitable dom is like any of us sifting through to find a suitable match.

There’s bullshit and fakes and selfish people, people who you just wont click with physical, people you click with physically but not mentally.. there’s hidden agendas - there’s a whole wide assortment of all sorts, it doesn’t matter what you are looking for..

What matters is that if you want it you keep looking. You sift and sift and sift and you will come across the right dom for you.

Never settle though.

Don’t ever be inclined to go ok well this will do - it won’t because you are worth more than settling for someone who doesn’t tick all your dom boxes.
Apr 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
avixen

FFF - potentially you are right.. there will be those that roast and judge and those that go you know what, what you do and say is your choice and here’s my answer to your topic.. given the site we are on it constantly baffles me the roasting given and the intense judgment. What we see in a profile or forum topic is but a mere miniscule snapshot into a person and their incentives for what they do.
Apr 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
keepasecret2  

Man 40yrs

Couldn't agree more avixen
Apr 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FatFunFiesty  

Woman 39yrs

avixen... Yup👍🏻
Doesn't detract from the disparity and double standards between the sexes when such topics are broached. My point was that a male posting the same words/topic would have zero kind words of encouragement but be bombarded with criticism from the get go, nothing about what's happening in people's real lives and the scant amount of information shared by members.
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FatFunFiesty  

Woman 39yrs

Apologies for going off topic OP😊
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SSExplorer  

Couple Man 47yrs Woman 33yrs

EAGER listen to AVIXEN, from what I’ve read over a few of her posts she has a great grasp on many a thing :)
I find the whole bdsm/dom/sub scene way too full of rules and regulations for me. Like wearing black and leather, why can’t a Dom wear pink Lycra if they choose?
I have always fallen into the more Dom side of things but this only comes out of it is desired by my partner. I’ve tried a few online things but if you’re trying to hide this from hubby then it’s hard to keep the intensity up online.
You could try fetlife, doesn’t work for me but may for you.
It’s a shame if you can’t open up to your hubby about your needs but understandable. I would hope that your relationship provides for most of your needs else I’d be suggesting some counselling or such to get it back on the right track, who knows he may just be hiding his own desires and you can help each other out :)
Apr 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Mischeviouslad   Man 47yrs

@FFF..... I’m more expecting the line of guys posting their comments about what it means to be a Dom as a segue to their aspirations with the op

But happy to be proven wrong 😁
Apr 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FatFunFiesty  

Woman 39yrs

ML..... Oh yeah thats a given🤣
Apr 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
GetMePlease   Woman 48yrs

Good luck - I'm sure he's out there. Now I'm going to bomb with a Limerick...

Curiously, she hush-hush'd around
hoping that a good Dom could be found
with smacks to her bum
denying her cum
her Dom set her mind free, it's profound.


(I've been studying and working day after day for 14 days straight. With no end in site, writing dirty/kinky poetry, to add to the poetry slam topic, has provided me great distraction).



Apr 08, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Chriscat  

Woman 49yrs

Meet people in real life. Head to munches, join groups, attend bdsm play parties. I know a whole lot of awesome doms, switches, kinksters, but I would have not found them online.
Apr 08, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
The_Antichrist   Man 39yrs

My advice....you need marriage counselling not a dom...
Apr 09, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Phoenix_Rising   Woman 37yrs

No advice from me regarding the dom situation, I choose not to aide and abet someone in doing something I find morally corrupt and it’s unclear from your post whether or not your husband is actually ok with you finding a dom.

So I’ll just offer condolences to your husband because I don’t think you should have put that stuff about him in your post, since you did though I’ll comment on it..
I’d be absolutely gutted if my partner talked about me like that in a public forum on a site like this and I think it’s abhorrent that you’d do that to someone you’re supposed to honour, protect and RESPECT!!

Unless of course he’s ok with you being here and giving people the impression he’s boring and unsatisfying, in which case just disregard my comment and if you want better advice next time maybe leave the comments about the husband out of your post.
Apr 09, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
spankthatbum   Couple Man 48yrs Woman 48yrs

Life is a journey best travelled together!!
You do realize the further you travel this path of self discovery on your own you are locking the door on your relationship! Beening a submissive is so much more gratifying when you have an emotional connection "submitting to your lover" Throwing aside personal embarrassment for fear of how you will be looked apon! Yes it's easy to meet someone wif similar interests, set ground rules, then enact out those erotic thoughts!
Why... because there's no intimacy.
Love to know what efforts you have made in the past to increase the intimacy in your relationship? It's the glue that holds every good relationship together. 🖐


Apr 10, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
avixen

Life is definitely a journey best travelled together - however sometimes who you choose to travel with doesn’t end up choosing you.

Maybe she is closing the door on her relationship, maybe she does need counselling - but that’s her private life and only she can decide that. It she had not of been open and mentioned it in her op no one would have been none the wiser.

There’s no rule books in life. People will get hurt (yourself inclusive) whether you are open or not. You’ll want one thing someone will want something else. Relationships are many and varied and are hopefully designed to suit the people in them. Trust and intimacy has to be earnt and can be lost whether in a normal relationship or other.

I’m not saying what she is doing is right or wrong but this is her path to travel to work out what she needs and wants and ultimately what is right for her.
Apr 10, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
deepestpurple   Man 36yrs

Plot twist




Quoting 'The_Antichrist'

My advice....you need marriage counselling not a dom...

Plot twist: the marriage counselor becomes her dom.
Apr 10, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
The_Antichrist   Man 39yrs

Deepest...

Haha it’d make for a great porno eh?
Apr 10, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
spankthatbum   Couple Man 48yrs Woman 48yrs

Avixen... we do agree!!
Thing is , sounds like it's come to a point where the ground lines have been set! No more can be expected of each other, then why continue? The intimacy has gorn!!
So has the love?
Don't settle for anything less? Who truly knows when they have it all anyway?
There is always someone out there with possibly more to offer! It's only natural to want to know whats over the next hill, look around the corner! Beening different or opposite isn't a bad thing! What counts is holding the door open for each other, taking an interest in seening your partner grow as they travel there own path of discovery! Sharing with each other all the little details so as you don't drift apart!!!
In looking for our ideal partner this is what we won't settle fo less 👍
We're not judging anyone, just holding the door open to another point of view. 💏
Apr 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
dirtydomtradie   Man 46yrs

I agree with @Chriscat get out and meet some people how live the lifestyle munches are a great to start as well as join fetlife read some forums find some events

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