Partner power struggle

Partner power struggle

    | Mar 14, 2019
Rdy2play  

Man 44yrs
So I was contacted by the lady of a couples profile, we chatted and after five days of chatting and her setting up a meet she cancels. We had been chatting and not sexually and then out of the blue I get “sorry but hubby doesn’t want me to move forward with this”.

I am a little perplexed by this situation and am just wondering if anyone else has had this happen to them...

- Posted from rhpmobile
Mar 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
MrMojoRisin  

Man 65yrs

Nah

Because I avoid couples like the plague.
Mar 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
AnnieWhichway   TV/CD 56yrs

What's perplexing?

Their relationship is foremost, especially where an extraneous root is concerned. They do and should have rules, both need to be comfortable if the relationship is an open one and external stress by outside people should be dealt with in a proper manner.
Her message to you was decent and informative, so much better than being ghosted.
You should take it as a compliment that your character/profile made the partner feel a little vulnerable . Maybe there are issues at their end that they need to sort.
Your disappointment is understandable but you should also feel somewhat relieved that you may have avoided a situation a little further down the track.
Hopefully you accepted the decline with grace as you can never discount an unexpected message from her in the future with a green light.
So look at the positives from it and soldier on.
Good luck

Mar 15, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
DynamicCouple36  

Couple Man 48yrs Woman 40yrs

More than likely

It was the male of the couple doing the messaging, without the female even being aware of their RHP profile. And he had to bail out when the fantasy moved closer to becoming a reality with regards meeting up
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sweetnsensual  

Couple Man 47yrs Woman 45yrs

He obviously was put off by something you may have said no matter how innocent it sounded to you
With us it’s about a hit feel
Don’t take it personally just move on it happy
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teamaj2  

Couple Man 37yrs Woman 56yrs

Rdy2play , of course you feel disappointed after building up a rapport and setting up a meet .
As Annie said it was good you received a message.
As for the explanation, there can be any number of reasons why that happened . As a couple , they both ( I would think ) need to be comfortable to proceed . For whatever reason they ( or the husband ) have changed their mind . I’m not going to list the reasons why this may have occurred, it just happens .
Continue to be patient. Wishing you luck in your search .
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MrMojoRisin  

Man 65yrs

Great comment there Annie.

The unusually named fatherly dot com has some information on open marriages and how common it is, how a marriage is easier to open than close up again.
OP you could search that info out and maybe gain an insight into what may be happening in the couple that you mention.
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teamaj2  

Couple Man 37yrs Woman 56yrs

Sweetnsensual
How true that is . A comment ( even if not sexual ) can cause us to think twice about a meet up or continuing with the chat . As is often said , it’s a gut feeling and it’s best to go with it . As you also said , it’s not personal even if it feels that way .
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Rdy2play  

Man 44yrs

Thanks Annie, yes I responded in a respectful manner and thanked her for her honesty. I guess everyone is different, I’m just used to my open marriage situation I guess.

Helpful comments, thanks all.
Mar 15, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FatFunFiesty   Woman 39yrs

Rare but not unusual and don't be befuddled about it. My hubby has pulled rank only twice in the years we've been playing. And both times its been innocent non sexual banter but something twigged an uneasy feeling in him and he said nah babe not this one. And its done, simple as that. Dont take it to heart.
Mar 15, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Xenaesque

The hardest part is the not talking it personal part.

When you meet a couple they both have to be in it exponential % - if something slips or falters for either then minds can be changed.
Only that couple can pinpoint what changed and unfortunately they don’t need to say exactly what changed but politely decline or
cancel. At least they did that as opposed to ghosting and standing you up.
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NewVicCpl  

Couple Man 46yrs Woman 46yrs

Honesty

It’s great that she was up front and honest with you about any possible future interaction



We’ve been ghosted and even worse, outright lied to by others in the past, the lying initially annoyed me as it was a really abvious and shit lie, then I realised we were far better off as the couple in question clearly couldn’t even be respectful enough to just be honest.
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Qefenta4   Woman 100yrs

It's not uncommon

For this to happen OP. How do you know your were really chatting to a "her"? Some men in particular masquerade as a couple,and pretend they are the female.But that is only one explanation,as others have said at least you were told that you were no longer of interest to them.

Don't take it personally it was more about them than you.

Hugs Q
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OkeyDoke45   Man 49yrs

Like Mojo said...

I should probably avoid couples, they seem to be more trouble than they are worth.

I had a similar situation recently OP, a genuinely lovely couple whom I was chatting back and forth with, individually and together - the night of our meet approached and one of them got cold feet. They messaged me and were very apologetic, which very much took the sting out of the tail of my umpteenth disappointment with couples on here.

Like Annie said though, at least they let you know prior, they deserve points simply for that. Don't listen to Dynamic Couple - every couple on here it seems is a single male pretending in their books. Except for them of course. My experience of it is that the ghosters are the single males, or the hopeful male half of a couple. The ones that stick at it, and don't just go to radio silence after a certain point are the ones that are legitimate.

Still, that doesn't help you when it's a fizzer. It does help that they were nice to you about it.
Mar 15, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
mango69er   Couple Man 52yrs Woman 62yrs

Got nothing to do with partner power. Your dealing with couples. Two people. If one of the couple isnt that into you . Then it wont happen. No taking one for the team here. Or any power struggle either.
Mar 15, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
sexslaves   Couple Man 47yrs Woman 52yrs

Think yourself lucky least they told you and didn't arrange a meet and be another no show with no answers. And as said their relationship is most important over a night of fun
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nightingale8   Woman 33yrs

She's smart and didn't push further to spend time with you to the detriment of her relationship with her partner. Quite presumptuous to assume he is in any power struggle with you, the power was always his (and hers). In a couple he has rights to veto always. I've been in her position before, as well as being the one to pull the plug. It's worth it in the long run.
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Soulhunters  

Couple Man 36yrs Woman 55yrs

Wow

Couple entitlement comment. " Not taking one for the team" Be nice to be able to sit in your ivory tower and lord it over the singles fighting for your attention. Maybe meet the person and see beneath the book cover first. None of us are perfect.
Mar 15, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Tara72  

Woman 46yrs

Fantasy vs Reality

Always talk to the female half on the phone as early in the process as possible, just to make sure there is a genuine (and consenting) female half of the couple.





Assuming they were genuine, it’s not surprising that an exciting fantasy takes on a whole different dimension when confronted by reality. In that case you were lucky that they were honest and upfront with you about it (and with each other).
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The_Antichrist   Man 40yrs

I’m still looking for the alleged power struggle....

Where exactly is it existing?? Between husband and wife?
Mar 15, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
luvu2   Man 60yrs

Anti
I think you need sola power 😁👍

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