Opinions

Opinions

    | Jul 26, 2018
Redmustang  

Couple Man 44yrs Woman 40yrs
Recently I’ve wondered how accepting we are of other people’s opinions.

You know the ones that differ from our own. The ones we disagree with, the ones we can’t seem to comprehend and if we can’t comprehend then it must simply be wrong.

We get so riled up when confronted with something that differs from our own mindset that it makes me wonder how good we are at accepting things we don’t consider the norm.

Additionally there also seems to be issues with women having a strong mind and opinion and not being afraid to voice it and ask questions.
What is the go with this not being accepted? Does it still stem from the dark ages where the man bought home the grub and the women swept the cave floor? Is a strong woman a threat to a mans ego? Are women who are submissive and meek more attractive? Or does having an opinion and a mind rant some sort acknowledgement?

I spent years being a yes woman, following like a little puppy dog and not having a thought that was my own and not doing things for me.
I’ve worked hard to build my confidence and be a little outspoken, however it seems to be I’ll received by quite a lot of society.

Are we so set in our ways that we simply can’t be receptive to others opinions and to encourage women to be loud and say what’s on their mind?


- Posted from rhpmobile
Jul 26, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
AnnieWhichway   TV/CD 55yrs

.

There are a few that have come and gone, that have posted their opinions and asked questions. They ha e quickly shown that they are only interested in those that agree and try and shutdown those that disagree. Their way or the highway. I'm more than happy to expose these peeps and argue till they accept alternatives.

Fortunately many here are happy to give their opinion, open to be corrected and explain.

The whole situation is just part of general real life. There are fuckwits anywhere. Just as there are those that believe that the earth is flat. But I'm open to listen to their arguement.......

Jul 26, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
boobs_or_bust  

Couple Man 52yrs Woman 43yrs

alway open

to listen. be corrected or have my opinion changed by man or woman ,makes no difference to me , in that department,the only fact,that matters to me , is you accept that i’m entitled to mine as well ,and be willing to walk away. agreeing to disagree and not get petty, and turn into a twit,that’s not a go at you btw ,i can’t say i’ve seen you post anything that has made me think whoaaaa ,to be honest , i run it the same as hanging with churches or bikies,it’s all ok as long as you don’t ramit down my throat with our way or the highway attitude ,but if your not open to having your opinion changed or challenged ,that’s where you become a stupid human imo

mr b

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Koolgrey   Man 44yrs

Opinions

I won't repeat the cliche...someone has probably already beat me to it.

However. When offering an opinion that cant be rescinded( namely deleted.. ) I make sure to add the "I believe, I suppose, I think.."
But, that's because I generally have a quick think about what I'm going to say before I actually do....including in face to face conversation.

I think you're probably right about personal ego's having something to do with that( See? I'm not qualified to offer a professional opinion there...so I just covered my arse )....because we all have one of those too. An ego.
And my ego is not so outrageously huge that I want to see my incorrect opinions torn to shreds by one or two of my better qualified fellow forumites.
So, I suppose I could say that I'm grateful to my fellow forumites for helping make me a better person, and keeping my ego in check.
As old-fashioned as it sounds( and we should be wary of associating "old-fashioned" with "outmoded" and "outdated" ), humility is a desirable character trait to possess, in my opinion.
And others likely share that opinion, which is why persons who repeatedly show a lack of it are quickly reminded of that.

Differences of opinion will surely stem from life experience, too. Your own past probably moulds your opinions somewhat.
You say that your outspokenness is ill received somewhat....do you think that may be because loud and outspoken personalities are often not endearing to most people in general?
Do you think you are trying a little too hard to show your confidence to others?

And then there's the delicate case of opinions that are factually incorrect.
You see this all the time these days....from flatearthers to fake moon landing conspiracies to GMO's to vaccines to just about anything.
Somewhere along the line, the idea has permeated that saying, "well, that's just my opinion and I'm sticking to it.." actually makes it a fact.
The ego running rampant again? Maybe.








Jul 26, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
mango69er   Couple Man 51yrs Woman 61yrs

D

Just need to read the forams to know people on here are nnt very accepting of other peoples opinions. They can be down rite nasty. It is a foram at the end of the day. Dont think alot of people would be as direct with there opinions face to face, as they are safe in there homes behind a key board. Think a place like this can bring the worse out in people . But have your say and move on. Its your loved ones that you should care about what there opinions are.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Snap_Dragon   Woman 40yrs

I think

These days, a big part of the problem is that due to various factors such as social media, and a political and media environment which allows politicians and other people of influence to say and do what they like without consequence, people often conflate opinions with facts and they believe that their opinion is above reproach.

There are opinions, and there are opinions. If you say, 'in my opinion chocolate is the best ice cream flavour', then nobody can argue against that. It's your preference and that's it. However, if you say 'in my opinion shoving kale leaves up your arse will cure cancer' then you should be able to back up that opinion with some pretty strong evidence otherwise people will rightly challenge you on it and tell you that you're full of it (literally as well...).

These days it's just way to easy for people to spout off all manner of bullshit without any evidence or reason behind what they're saying, and then when challenged on it they yell 'it's my opinion you have to respect it!'. Well...sorry but nope, if your opinion shows a lot of ignorance and isn't supported by evidence then I'm not going to respect it.

There's a very good article from The Conversation titled 'No, you're not entitled to your opinion', which discusses these issues.

As for the women and opinions thing...yes there are still people who dislike women expressing strong opinions, particularly opinions that go against conventional norms. There's a lot of social conditioning at play here, and Australia is still quite a conservative country when it comes to gender roles and expectations. If you're a woman who ventures outside of those conventional expectations and isn't shy about it, then you can expect that there will be a few who will try to put you back in your place.
Jul 26, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Redmustang  

Couple Man 44yrs Woman 40yrs

I think

Maybe not having been used to having a voice that maybe I can be ‘too loud’ with it.

However not having had a voice I don’t want to have to reign it in and revert to being meek again (a purely personal observation made by me against me attempting to portray how I used to feel and be made to feel)

It’s a learning curve for me and I have been dressed down for having been outspoken, these instances do make me sit back and reassess and then move forward hopefully in a better manner.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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deepestpurple   Man 36yrs

Ok here goes...




I'm going to start off by saying that I agree to some extent with the OP and I am going to dispute some of the details rather than the premise. My opinions are based on the experiences as an articulate, tall, white, heterosexual male and I acknowledge there will be some bias and, dare I say it, privilege associated with this. I do not seek to invalidate anybody's experiences only to offer my take on this topic in the interests of adding to the discussion.

I think that there is an aspect of a "might is right" opinion among some people in that they will only respect an opinion if it's from someone they rate as being able to challenge them in a fight. This is mostly a male line of thinking and males are generally more physically imposing but less physically imposing males also suffer from this discrimination. To make it an exclusive male to female thing neglects to address the whole problem. I have also experienced individuals, men and women who are able to cut through this prejudice with a solid self confidence which allows them to call the physicality bluff and forcefully reassert their opinion.

It would benefit groups to be aware of this phenomenon and discourage it. I also think that it's important for individuals to be aware of their own inadequacies and address them. Somebody who can not rationally articulate an opinion or defend it when challenged is not going to have it respected as much as somebody who can, regardless of gender. If a group starts ranking all opinions as equal without critical evaluation it will lead to dysfunctional decision making.

OP you have said that you have worked hard on your confidence and that you are better able to assert yourself but that it is at times ill received by parts of society. I suggest that an element of adversarial group interaction is required for there to be critical evaluation of opinions. I am wondering if you are expecting a level of harmony and group cohesiveness which would lead to groupthink, this is something which I think this board suffers from at times. I think there is a balance required and that the dynamic can go too far in either direction.


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blondes6365   Couple Man 55yrs Woman 53yrs

Opinions

Definitely have to agree with AnnieWhichway

There is still some who think there always right even when proven wrong
Jul 26, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
sweetnsensual  

Couple Man 46yrs Woman 44yrs

Opinion

an opinion is the medium between knowledge and ignorance quoting Plato

People dont realise their opinion is a reflection of their own character!
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Mischeviouslad   Man 47yrs

.

The current MO these days..... is outrage.

Outrage designed to make more noise and shut down the people who can more effectively debate and discuss points which will likely show up the flaws in the ‘outragor’s attitude and opinion

Not all intellects are created equal

😎

- Posted from rhpmobile
Jul 26, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Redmustang  

Couple Man 44yrs Woman 40yrs

Is that

Calling my character into question? It feels like it may somewhat be the case

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Snap_Dragon   Woman 40yrs

Redmustang

Not sure who your above comment is aimed at, but in my case my comment was just a general observation of today's discourse and was not aimed at anyone in particular.
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Redmustang  

Couple Man 44yrs Woman 40yrs

Snap_dragon

Not you... sorry

I love your contributions!!! You have such a clever mind and strong personality..

Was distracted at work posting (yes I need a slap on the wrist for that!) and should have clarified .. which I will do so when I get a free chance lol ..

Customers first currently

- Posted from rhpmobile
Jul 26, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
inspirit   Woman 54yrs

Acceptance...

We are all different and of course have our own perceptions.

However arrogance annoys the crap out me moreso than ignorance.

Folks just need to chill out and walk a mile in shoes they have not worn yet.

.... Can someone spell check me please. I can't be arsed. 🙃

- Posted from rhpmobile
Jul 26, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
sweetnsensual  

Couple Man 46yrs Woman 44yrs

Opinions

I'm frequently proven wrong and love having my prejudices and preconceived ideas challenged. I even find myself challenging my own thoughts and reactions. I take it as a chance to grow and the moment we stop learning and developing life is over in my opinion.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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PeachyPearL   Woman 54yrs

Opinions

I have unpopular opinions that end up with me being personally denigrated regularly because they are out of the norm, it has nothing to do with being a woman. Sly posts & likes are the norm of my experience. Threats. Labelling. Blocking. Ignoring. I still think people are OK most days, they're doing their best with very different circumstances from me, same as me, as most are.

This ties in with thoughts of mine that females have a place of power on this site where they are highly sought after because of the numbers imbalance which I can imagine is exciting... because they call the shots for a change in a world that does have a bias against women but we have the "magic oyster" (quoted from a funny as B grade porn movie lol).

The site is aimed at attracting men for sex though, so there is a lack of connection between expectation from both groups (generally speaking). Kind of how the world runs.

I do not mean to invalidate anybody's experience when I post the way I do but to raise questions and new thoughts to break out of the old patterns. Patterns that I am aware have been there as long as I have been here, and longer of course. I do explore my own patterns as well.

I love being on RHP and threads like this because they excercise my mind and provide stuff to chew over between hubby and I. We don't always agree but we have to live together, so we work it out. I'm proud of that. It is living proof that I am doing OK despite that negative, little voice we all have, mine telling me constantly that I'm a failure and worth nothing.

So, I've learned and grown in my 11 years here, some of what I thought I knew has changed, including my view of myself, the world and my place in it. I like to think I'm doing OK, learning and stumbling, as we all do. My thoughts are scattered, I am no confidence freak but I have all these things I learned through counselling that are repeated by quotes all over the place. I am not responsible for other people's feel is one of them. Which led me to a site with an insight I'd like to share. I do see my where what I had before can be replaced for what is right for now.

So, as highly sensitive people, we have two choices. We can step into our power and be uncomfortable now, in the present moment, by speaking up for what we need. Or we can choose powerlessness and guarantee that we’ll still feel uncomfortable—and probably angry and bitter—in the future, by suppressing our needs and keeping our mouths shut.

I don't think there is any easy solution on this site, you can see on this thread already how touchy people are, Peachy, nothing to do with being a woman
Jul 26, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
noeleena   Woman 71yrs

who,s the Boss,

Hi ,

I quess I can say what its like being on both sides of the fence as to women and men being an intersexed female gives you insights to what its like in a male dominated world and working with men and yes being put down slaked off in terms of your being a female and what men wont to do with a female very down grading this was in the 60,s for me .

Women even then were more accepting if you were different as I was then am I still different now yes of cause .

it was not about what you wore or how you looked it was about ...YOU... the person to try and act a part did not come into it at all people knew , nothing was said then you move out of the mens world and be with women and was normal .I was not out of the womens world as such just I spent over 40 years working with men more than I did with women,,,, being different was not really the issue being part of our communitys was great you fitted in and became part of what was going on and I still do. what I started to find was over the last 6 years when I was incharge of others who worked for myself and I was the Boss in our section, women had no concerns it was a few men who did not know how to work with a woman with rank NZ Navy , changed how they saw you did they like being bossed by a woman a few did not yet many were cool with me they knew what I was about and could do ,

What I found in the 80,s I had a job to do so I asked 4 men from our Army to work for me the CO picked 4 men and they were assigned to me as their CO. would it have changed any thing wether I was a male or female maybe I don't know it was about I,m their CO so they did what I asked of them and worked well.you see the uniform does have a bearing on a person. or their Ranking

I will say most men I know don't have an issue with me being a disciplined female I,m pretty soft in my nature yet can be tough when needed,

I know as I have grown its how I interact with people and more so with men though I worked with and for them I did struggle for a few years I settled down and just got on and did my work great learning expreance.

I try not to argue or get on the opinion roll, if some one has another detail they are hard out on I just say,,,okay and don't press it most times I,m quiet and I have many lovely friends are we all the same no each of us is very different,

...Noeleena...


Jul 27, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
pipsqueak

You have

A opinion which I may not agree with but I will always fully support, respect and encourage your right to voice it



I have a opinion which you may not always agree with but I hope you fully support , respect and encourage, my right to voice it



If you are fi



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pipsqueak

When your typing on a ipad

With long nails





If you find that your are constantly being misinterpreted or clashing with others, then perhaps one has to look at the common denominator, being you, and look at reforming the way you to choose to voice your opinions



You can’t blame a myriad of excuses.



You choose your words, your actions and the way you present yourself to the world
Jul 27, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
OkeyDoke45   Man 48yrs

Absolutely...




Quoting 'sweetnsensual'

I'm frequently proven wrong and love having my prejudices and preconceived ideas challenged. I even find myself challenging my own thoughts and reactions. I take it as a chance to grow and the moment we stop learning and developing life is over in my opinion.

- Posted from rhpmobile
I am not the same person I was five years ago, nor was I the same person then as five years before that. In another five years I will likely not be the same person I am now. The difference may be subtle or glaring, but our experiences - both bad and good - continue to mould us. I know people though who are just immovable objects - they refuse to let anything challenge or change them. That is not to say that they are bad people, they are just narrow-minded and stubborn. I don't associate or socialize in general with these people - even though I may like them as people - as I find them boring.

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