Oh So That’s The Reason

Oh So That’s The Reason

    | Jun 16, 2018
pipsqueak  

Woman 34yrs
This little saying appeared on my Instagram feed last night and I’ve been thinking about it





“So many women are single because men are getting everything they want out of a woman without being in a relationship with her “





Oooookaaay





I have my own thoughts but I’m interested in what other think, men and women





Please no gender bashing, I love men and women equally as I’m sure we all do.





Please let’s have a great discussion among us





Look forward to your opinions





Jun 16, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
PeachySxynIknoIt   Woman 54yrs

Lol

I'm thinking we have a lot of single women here who will debunk that myth in a hurry.

That it is their choice, some after horrific experiences to know what being 'in a relationship' can be like.

Peachy, d'int have me no trouble finding me a man despite my generous sharing or wares, and that was in a very different time!
Jun 16, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
The_Antichrist   Man 39yrs

To be honest....

I think there are so many women that are single, because they’ve evolved....

They’re much more confident, career focused and very much unwilling to let anything or anyone stand in their way....

And I think it’s fucking awesome!!! Because now, there are 2 journeys that are shared in conversation and not just 1. I think it’s entirely encouraging of a true partnership not just a man and his maid....



- Posted from rhpmobile
Jun 16, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
CardanoADA

I reckon..

A truly smart independent woman who knows what she wants and has boundaries will not put herself in the position to be used...she will see through the BS early on.
Jun 16, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
countrytouch   Man 36yrs

...

A woman I was talking to for a while used the term "relationshit".

Go back decades and marriage was the only way a woman could get anywhere in life. Now they have more choices as reflected above.

Of course plenty of both genders are unwillingly single, and would like a committed partner, but there's no offical data on the numbers each way as no survey (like those from the BoS) differs circumstance from intent (just like in the childfree/childless difference).

While we have basically an equal m/f ratio, and presumedly a similar number of singles each way, in some countries like China, another issue arises, as there are simply many more men than women (due to a bias from parents toward male babies during the one child policy).

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Obsidian   Man 47yrs

What on earth

is that statement supposed to mean? That the only possible things that a guy might want he can get from single women? What universe was that author living in?

- Posted from rhpmobile
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PeachySxynIknoIt   Woman 54yrs

Single men vs Single women

I looked at the stats for single men vs women and came up with a very interesting finding from the 2016 Census. The fact that we're getting older and more female struck me as something to be regarded too.

Frankly, the quote from your OP really is an old furphy that keeps us back in ancient times... It ties in with the old, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."

Well said Anti, beautiful even.

Moooving on, Peachy
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bonefide   Man 54yrs

Thinking outside the box.

So op I'm hearing that all men only won't one thing, that non of us gents have the capability to form a sound, like minded friendship/relationship above the belly button.

So no communicating openly, chatting joking as friends, spending quality time together, enjoying each others company with clothes on.

Might have the bull by the horns or wrong end of the stick, but sounds like men are all the same and non have evolved past the neanderthal stage.



Best I head back into the cave to keep the home fire burning.



Jun 16, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
MsJonesy   Woman 50yrs

I think

The statement puts the wrong slant on the issue. It seems to infer women are being tricked, or manipulated by men to give them the 'relationship' experience. So does it also imply women are passive, incapable of fending off these tricky manipulators, hanging in their with dreams of a relationship which won't be realised?

None of women I know fall into that category. They are intelligent, street smart, and more than capable of deciding what experiences they want, and with whom. And most are relishing their single status with no intention of giving it away until (if) she meets a man who makes it worthwhile to give up her hard earned and emminently satisfying independence.
Jun 17, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
usrightnow_Again   Couple Man 100yrs Woman 100yrs

...

“So many women are single because men are getting everything they want out of a woman without being in a relationship with her “
..

Tough, with only that sentence to go on and no further context, but let's give it a go. Now, it's late, two a.m., I'm in a heck of a lot of pain, I'll do my best.

..

Agree with Anti., you're on fire lately.

Agree with some of what MsJonesey has written too.

To play devil's advocate for a moment, and given the inference that, as bonefide has pointed out, men are singularly focused, is the inference that women aren't so much being tricked, as Ms Jonesey said was the inference, however, that they are comfortable enough in settling for a less than ideal circumstance, that, as Ms Jonesey said, they'll hang in there with the dream of a relationship?

..

Now, the women I know and have known over my life, have become increasingly independent. They are comfortable not to live, as women so often did many years ago, defined by their husband. And, there were plenty, over the centuries, that weren't. I don't think many are, tricked into relationships. I do think that some choose to not be in any kind of on going relationship. There are others who would like a relationship, but are happy to at times compromise that wish, for a more modern relationship. Or one that satisfies certain wishes of their own. One of occasional sex, maybe the odd stay over, a night out sometimes, the odd night on the sofa watching Netflix, kind of thing. Now, there is nothing wrong with that and maybe this is part of the bias of the question, that there is a need for women to be in a relationship. There isn't. I'm assuming the word relationship, within the question, is referring to a more solid, older style relationship though. Again, there isn't much to go on. I guess the inference is that newer style relationships suit men more than women. The question doesn't quite allow for equality, does it?

..

Some men and women are single by choice. Some aren't. Women no longer have to define themselves by a relationship. There is nothing wrong with newer-style relationships. Some people have a long list of criteria to be fulfilled before they will form a relationship, and that's their choice. Maybe Seinfeld has a little part to play there. Why are we so worried about it anyway? It's surely just a question for each individual? Okay, I'm spent. Hope that was helpful. If it wasn't, that's okay too.

Mr. urn. .

Jun 17, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Sassyme   Woman 38yrs

My opinion

There’s no more forever! From my experience most men nowadays don’t want a girlfriend, just want a woman who acts like a girlfriend and is loyal to them while they mess around with other females.

Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person then it isn’t worth having.

- Posted from rhpmobile
Jun 17, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Hottie1   Couple Man 47yrs Woman 51yrs

Lots of insightful responses ...

Jonesy and Sassy, loved your comments ...



Jonesy, totally agree with you and was going to respond with ‘maybe the more educated and independent woman are, maybe they value themselves to not need that external validation’ ... then I reflected on some people I know and that’s not the case actually. The more you love yourself, the less you need validation from others, I believe and this isn’t an ‘educational qualification’ ... it’s a life learning :)



Sassy, I think men offer ‘ the girlfriend experience’ repeatedly on a daily basis if they’re ‘capable’, we might call them a player, a stud etc. I’d agree with you, we are really challenging the notion of ‘forever’ in our current society. The analogy I’d use is similar to that of white goods (apologies, not referencing men or women just a general thought) ‘Why buy an extended warranty when the goods are cheap enough and can be replaced easily at a low cost (consider marriage rates and divorce rates) or there are so many ‘brands’ on the market offering everything that beeps and squeaks?’



I’ve seen it repeatedly and there are many woman who say ‘no I don’t want a relationship, no I don’t want this or that, yes I’m bisexual (but the minute a guy asks, the variations and adaptations to their bisexuality changes). I call it the entrapment theory. In the past, entrapment could have been a myriad of things, in today’s society of the availability of sex etc means that no one really has to be in a relationship really. As a society we have shifted in so many ways but we still subscribe to the ‘relational’ theory, we just define it in a myriad of ways such as FB, FWB etc.



I genuinely believe for most women who say they want a ‘connection’ on this site, they do actually want to connect with people but not in a relationship way, though at a basic level they’d want the guy or girl to be ‘available’. I’d also say very few women here would also not subscribe to the unemotional, I’m just a hole type sex. Hence many women avoid the ‘married man ‘ on here. Similarly, men have become savvy and know they can offer ‘limited emotional and physical connection’ to many women, repeatedly, without any other commitment. This is not man bashing or women bashing, as a society, we’re constantly changing ...



Just my thoughts...

Mary xx
Jun 17, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Hottie1   Couple Man 47yrs Woman 51yrs

Correction ...

Very few woman would subscribe to the unemotional, just a hole type connection ...
Jun 17, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
leo_77_bbw   Woman 40yrs

As a single woman...

I am often asked “Why are you single?” as for many, what I am supposed to do is get married and have babies...
My dream is different. As simplistic as it sounds, my goal is just to be happy. I LOVE men but have not found one that I could live with/ be around on a permanent basis without losing my identity/ changing my life to fit theirs.
So I find the reverse of the OP’s quote - I don’t need to be in a relationship to get what I want/need.
For intimacy it certainly helps when I have a connection/friendship with the person. But just as MsJonesy said I would not give up my independence for just anyone. My life is full without it - I having many loving relationships in my life with family and friends and whilst some would say I’m missing out on a great love I’m not closed off to it, but I’m not going to give it to just anyone. If I find that person who shakes me to my core and they don’t feel that way about me because “the man can get everything they want without being in a relationship with me” then that is not my person anyway. I’ll just keep being happy on my own and find awesome sex from people who are ok with that!

- Posted from rhpmobile
Jun 17, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
OkeyDoke45   Man 48yrs

Probably...




Quoting 'Obsidian'

is that statement supposed to mean? That the only possible things that a guy might want he can get from single women? What universe was that author living in?

- Posted from rhpmobile
Probably from Mama Mia or somewhere like that.
Jun 17, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
OkeyDoke45   Man 48yrs

Playing to the cliches...

I have also been reading a bit about this topic in recent times, it seems to be A Thing. Women choosing to stay single either from the get-go or after a relationship breakdown.

Why the focus on women only in most of what I have read, I don't know. If the female half of the population is electing to stay single then what does that say about the other half? You can read the tone of that article as being ''women are single not by choice but because men are just out to fuck and they have worked out that they can just have a fuck without a relationship''. So women are the victim - again - and men are the predators with one thing only on their mind - again.

I choose to be single because relationships are just too much of a pain in the arse, I don't need validation from someone else, and life is much more enjoyable on my own. I am sure the same applies for the majority of single women out there (and most of the material I have read says much the same). There, see - a much more balanced way of putting things.
Jun 17, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Sarcastic_Dragon   Woman 40yrs

To me




Quoting 'OkeyDoke45'


Quoting 'Obsidian'


is that statement supposed to mean? That the only possible things that a guy might want he can get from single women? What universe was that author living in?

- Posted from rhpmobile

Probably from Mama Mia or somewhere like that.


It sounds more like one of the conservative commentators, lamenting the loss of 'family values' and how women aren't all getting married at 18 and popping out 10 babbies before they hit 30 anymore.
Jun 17, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Meander   Woman 45yrs

Fascinating...




Quoting 'pipsqueak'
"So many women are single because men are getting everything they want out of a woman without being in a relationship with her "

I would say I am because I would never settle for being with someone who thinks like that.

Not if a relationship is what I'm after, that is, and it wasn't for several years.

I'll happily continue to be single until I meet a man whose company I prefer to no company at all. As an introvert I love being alone, so any guy I met would be competing with that.


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Sarcastic_Dragon   Woman 40yrs

Also

That sort of reasoning is often espoused by the MRA / MGTOW (i.e. Men's Rights Activists / Men Going Their Own Way) groups. It's usually because they're bitter that women are having sex with other men but not with them, so they have to resort to the usual misogynistic drivel to try and detract from the fact that they are actually just shitty people and that's why women won't have sex with them.
Jun 17, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Sarcastic_Dragon   Woman 40yrs

Same




Quoting 'leo_77_bbw'

I am often asked “Why are you single?” as for many, what I am supposed to do is get married and have babies...
So many people still can't wrap their heads around the concept of a woman not being attached to a man with her life revolving around his, and instead just doing her own thing.
Having recently moved here from interstate I'm getting a lot of the usual questions about why I moved, and many have assumptions that it must have been because of a man e.g. the assumption that I must have a partner who is in the airforce (there's a large airforce base near here).
Jun 17, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Meander   Woman 45yrs

MFW, hearing you

The number of people who have just (incorrectly obvs) assumed that I moved to Australia for a guy...

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