Fake orgasms

Fake orgasms

    | Dec 02, 2017
jamaica_boy
I've had just three sexual partners in 40 years. The third is a wonderful lady I met online a while ago. Much my age, we spent some time together this week, partly in her spa. It was lovely...

We're still very much learning each other, which obviously has some way to go.

Somehow, we got onto the topic of fake orgasms. I said, that would be horrible, she said, "you'd never know".

Not sure what I said, but I did say I didn't want that, EVER. When we next meet, I want her to PROMISE that she'd NEVER fake an orgasm with me.

That would absolutely destroy the authenticity I proudly wear on my sleeve in my profile. I have my stuff, but honesty is crucial to me. She totally gets my situation.

If we're talking about some horny guy who needs to know he "made" her orgasm, then that is NOT me. In my view it's also pathetic.

For me, if I can take my partner to a place where an orgasm DOES happen, THAT is what I want. I am NOT in charge. WE are in charge.

Rant over...
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CandyDelicious   Woman 31yrs

.

We all fake it sometimes. Get over yourself!
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MsJonesy   Woman 50yrs

Oh for gawds sake

Take the bloody pressure off a female in your company having to orgasm. Sometimes we don't, it's as simple as that. Sometimes women fake it to stop the relentless hunt a man is on to create an orgasm for a woman, and the woman knows its just not going to happen that particular time. An amazing, knee trembling time can be had even without having an orgasm.

Try asking her why she may have faked in the past....and listen carefully to her answer. Its not about you, be objective rather than subjective.

If you go in guns blazing (as your use of capitals implies), then the situation is going to get very uncomfortable very quickly.
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the_antichrist  

Man 38yrs

I see what you’re sayin ole mate...

But...

Whilst you may wish to see the truth from her experiences with you...

Others have clearly made her feel as though that’s just not possible.

Unfortunately through continued exposure to these other guys, faking it becomes “just the said thing” in order to prevent the sooky or persistent need to make her orgasm attitude.

I hope you and your lady friend continue down your seemingly positive path...

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Betty7216   Woman 45yrs

Yep

What Jonesy said... remove the pressure. I think (and this is just my opinion) that given your age (or mine), that your partner wast most likely raised in an environment where women were told that males like sex, and females don’t... that is a double edged sword which can negatively impact both men and women. In the past I have faked orgasms for a few reasons... because I just wanted it done, because I was tired, or not in the mood, or my lover was just lazy or inconsiderate. Other times, when I did communicate that I wasn’t enjoying something, or wanted something different, my partner took it as a personal failure, and egos were damaged, and then it was thrown back at me later.



Never again would I fake an orgasm, because I now know that I don’t owe anyone sex, under any circumstances, so I would just say no if I was tired, annoyed, or whatever. I also now know that it’s absolutely ok to ask for what I want, and if my lover doesn’t like it, then he’s not someone I want in my life anyway. It is also ok for either partner to not orgasm - there is plenty of pleasure in the journey 😉 It did take me 40 something years to learn that, or perhaps it’s better to say, unlearn what I was taught growing up. Communicate, be open, don’t take it personally, remove the pressure 👍🏼
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S_OnTheLoose   Man 38yrs

.

"yeah, I guess the tank was empty - probably dehydrated from hockey" or rip your little rubber baggy off post haste and toss it in the bin, it's not like she's inspecting to see if it is full of jizz, hell, just pull out, dribble on her arse and groan appropriately.

Women don't have a monopoly on faking orgasms - equality in the bedroom.

;)

Obviously not a problem for _me_, since I was blessed with the ability to hold my breathe for up to an hour while also performing oral sex with a passion and fervor one may think it was a gift bestowed by the gods of antiquity (or you may think "eh, its ok, whatever") :p



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I_touch_myself2   Woman 54yrs

lol

3 in 40 years. Nuff said
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lovebitten  

Woman 40yrs

Omg

Stop big noting yourself

- Posted from rhpmobile
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EarthQueen   Woman 46yrs

Shouting

About orgasms isn’t going to make her have one any quicker. Take a chill pill. Putting pressure on her to do what YOU think she should experience with you is a sure way to ensure she’ll be faking it in the near future.
Anti, Betty, Jonesy, all yes 👍read and learn.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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luvitruf   Couple Man 44yrs Woman 47yrs

I think you guys are missing the point

I hear what the OP is saying, rather than faking it, just be honest!

I get that women sometimes wont get "Over the line" - i get that!

I think what the OP is trying to say here is that rather than be dis honest = just speak the truth - simple.

If you bother to read the post, you will notice he is not saying he will guarantee to make her orgasm - he is just wanting honesty!


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PurePeony   Woman 43yrs

If only...

... men learnt not to attach their delicate egos to women's orgasms!



It's not like a technical manual to operate a machine. Some days, you use this move and that lick and you trigger an orgasm... or two. Other days, you repeat the same steps and it just doesn't happen.



Women aren't machines. A myriad of factors affect whether we orgasm or not. Biologically, a female brain is hardwired to process several different thoughts simultaneously. Often, the orgasm is not just because a man is a super great sex god... It's about the mutual connection and trust, how obsessed a man is with whether or not she orgasms, what's going on in her life atm, hormonal fluctuations, what happened at work, receiving a shocking bill post retail therapy, etc etc etc. 🤣



Women fake it because some men just don't get it. It's either fake it, or risk friction burns because the guy just won't give up because of his obsession to hold on to bragging rights. 😛🤣
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Philacrocorax   Man 60yrs

FFS you lot can be pretty harsh.

In fact I think some of you barely scanned it before jumping on the high horse. It's obvious some of the replies have been made in ignorance of what the OP has said, ignorance is not bliss here and wilful ignorance is contemptible.

You don't need me to remind you that everyone is different, some women climax easily and others don't. I've heard it said more than once that sex is still enjoyable without an orgasm.
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MsJonesy   Woman 50yrs

luvitruf...and the OP

Yes, I understand what you are saying, and I agree that the OP is looking for honesty. But is he ready to accept that honesty without personalising it and making the partner feel like piece of dog poo?

Once I read his profile and post...twice....carefully... I came to the conclusion that he also wants her to orgasm every time she is with him....to quote:

"Devoted to satisfying my partner....If I can't bring enough to her table then there's no point." What pressure that places in a woman! Terrible!



I also took umbrage at "absolutely destroy the authenticity I proudly wear on my sleeve in my profile".

What? I simply do not understand how a fake orgasm is related to the OP's authenticity.
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jamaica_boy

Hmmm

Touch. Thanks, nothing like good honest cruelty is there? Maybe being a carer for decades has something to do with it.

Luvitruf. Thanks to you too, exactly what I was trying to say.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Betty7216   Woman 45yrs

Luvitruf

I think you are missing the point... the OP called his post a rant, he used caps in a couple of places, and this is obviously an issue which is emotive for him. I understand the OP’s desire for honest and genuine interactions, and I also understand that he was possibly using this thread as a way to vent his frustration. From most of the responses above, I see a group of women who are trying to help him out with reasons as to why women may fake an orgasm, and offer an approach which will end in discussion, rather than an argument 🙄



If you had bothered to read my response, I also specifically addressed why some women may feel uncomfortable with being honest around this.



*I am making the assumption that it was the male half of your profile who wrote your post, from the style of writing? As a side note, it’s good forum manners to sign off as either Mr or Mrs, or however you want to refer to yourself, so the rest of us know who we are reading/addressing 👍🏼
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Betty7216   Woman 45yrs

Jonesy

Snap 😉
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Luck_Dragon   Woman 39yrs

It's all been said

In this topic and your previous topic about women's orgasms.

To me, your attitude and approach is completely off-putting. You think you're so different to those 'other' men you put down, but you're still making it all about you and what you want. You're not much different at all.

I have my ideas about why you are this way when it comes to women and sex, but going by past responses I'm sure you wouldn't take any suggestions on board anyway.
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jamaica_boy

Thanks




Quoting 'the_antichrist'

But...



Whilst you may wish to see the truth from her experiences with you...



Others have clearly made her feel as though that’s just not possible.



Unfortunately through continued exposure to these other guys, faking it becomes “just the said thing” in order to prevent the sooky or persistent need to make her orgasm attitude.



I hope you and your lady friend continue down your seemingly positive path...

- Posted from rhpmobile

Dec 03, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
jamaica_boy

Yes I am




Quoting 'MsJonesy'

Yes, I understand what you are saying, and I agree that the OP is looking for honesty. But is he ready to accept that honesty without personalising it and making the partner feel like piece of dog poo?


Once I read his profile and post...twice....carefully... I came to the conclusion that he also wants her to orgasm every time she is with him....to quote:


"Devoted to satisfying my partner....If I can't bring enough to her table then there's no point." What pressure that places in a woman! Terrible!





I also took umbrage at "absolutely destroy the authenticity I proudly wear on my sleeve in my profile".


What? I simply do not understand how a fake orgasm is related to the OP's authenticity.

Yes I am ready to accept her honesty! That's the point! You clearly don't see where I am coming from. "Devoted to satisfying my partner" does NOT require an orgasm every time, or even any time. "Satisfying my partner" can mean anything from a lovely massage, to lying in bed chatting and laughing, to actual sex, with or without orgasm. I have always had the viewpoint that whatever happens, happens.

So, if I'm heading down the wrong path, I want to be told, guided. I want to learn. That also is "devoted to pleasing my partner". I just want honesty.

I'm sure that it's true that many men are fixated on one more orgasm, one more notch on the gunbelt. I am not one of them. An orgasm, especially mutual orgasms, is a delightful ending, but not in any way a requirement.

Re the table, you are reading far too much into it. Nowhere do I talk about orgasms. "Enough" is whatever it is! If "enough" is walking the dog together, then that's what it is - "enough".
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Hawt1  

Man 40yrs

My 2 cents worth




Quoting 'I_touch_myself2'

3 in 40 years. Nuff said
Touch is this a necessary and informative, humorous or even positive contribution to this conversation?
Same as you deplore shaming for other things. Double standards.
If the Op had one partner in his lifetime it does not lessen the point he is making.


Pure Peony yes, if only men and women did not attach so much ego to it, relax enjoy yourselves.


A long term partner and myself have had a discussion over this topic.. we both have the odd moment where we just can not cum and have made the point to each other that that is ok. Honest "communication", should not be a dirty word.
We have also had moments where the orgasm flood gates from either side just open :)
Hell I even went multiple for the one and only time in my life.

Jamaica I applaud your approach, great you had this conversation with your friend.
A good catalyst possibly for other couples to negotiate their past prejudices of social conditioning and fragile ego's.

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jayme2   Man 54yrs

I must be lazy...

As nice as it is making your partner orgasm.. If on that Occassion she or he doesn't feel it for whatever reason, who cares.. Only makes the time the mind and body are in the ON mode that much better... Besides ' who says you need too orgasm every time ? That's more a unrealistic expectation ..

So if any lady ever fakes her orgasm for me , she's wasting her time... I'm happy to share our bodies anyway..

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