Confused, is it compulsory or non compulsory to play at a swingers party

Confused, is it compulsory or non compulsory to play at a swingers party

    | Nov 04, 2017
PKDK69   Couple Man 48yrs Woman 48yrs
We are long term married, & seeking some fun, not wam bam thank yous, but something meaningful where we have a connection.





We attended a swingers party from another adult match making page last night in hope we might find someone we would click with, anyway it was in South East Queensland of which the group of regular rotate between locations.





Anyway, this was our first time at this location, we had been to another one of their parties approx a few months ago at another location.





We arrived, were welcomed in, the hosts had the home owner show us around, a very polite funny man.





Anyway we jumped into spa, stripped down, wife in her sexy bodysuit, me in my boxers, we chatted in spa with another couple, wife was not comfortable and was sensing the guys woman was possibly not happy.


They left the spa and we followed some minutes later.


As we walked in, it appeared the woman was talking to the male host about us and went silent.





Approx 10min later we walked into one of the open sex rooms to see what was going on, one of the guys told us to come in and watch, said it was fine, said we didnt need to take cloths off.


Standing there for a few minutes and the male host approaches my wife, basically says if we dont play not to turn up to next one, says people feel its rude to be watching them even though we were invited in.





Yet there was another two couples who where fully dressed and chatting all night and looked like they didn't recieve the same attitude.





Wife felt so unwelcomed, so we left.





This was one mans words and attitude, which appears not to reflect the groups attitude.


We won't be getting involved with that group.


We will just keep trying to find mutual connections on here or at nightclubs.








So much for their events this is a part extract of their description of their event.





[[[[[ "Meet other sexy couples, ladies and a few selected single guys in a relaxed social environment. No pressure. Come and play or just mix, mingle and check out the swinging scene.





Newbies most welcome. If you just wish to visit, relax and chat with some new friends and not participate in anything else, you are very welcome. The first time visiting our type of party can be a little daunting. Just remember that there will be others who are also there for the first time." ]]]]]]





Are we wrong to not have participated?


Are we attending the wrong places?


Is there places more suited what we seek in South East Queensland?











Nov 04, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
mango69er  

Couple Man 50yrs Woman 60yrs

A

Wish we had the name who,s party it was. Know you cant. But think i know who. And not happy with him.

- Posted from rhpmobile
Nov 04, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
AnnieWhichway   TV/CD 54yrs

your body

Do with it or NOT do with it, as you wish to

Sounds like the couple in the spa were the problem. Probably they were regulars who were familiar with the host. The other woman felt some " issues" and covered her insecurities with a blame game to the host with a fairy tale.

Don't let that put you off. Most parties are very supportive of a choice not to play so just choose another venue and push onward. Good luck
Nov 05, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
PKDK69   Couple Man 48yrs Woman 48yrs

mango69er

Mango69er, Its sad as the turnout seemed less than expected, I so hope that man isn't driving others away causing the low numbers for the group.



Maybe why, is because he was the host?



The home owner had told us of huge numbers attending prior events, so who knows.

The previous one we attended at a different location, hosted by someone else, saw approximately 3x more attendees, yet the setup was no where near as great as this location.



The old saying, only takes one to spoil it.







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PKDK69   Couple Man 48yrs Woman 48yrs

Anywhichway

Anywhichway, yes most likely but that is only speculating, we can only go by what was spoken and by whom.

Hence we don't know, and being the outsiders, it would be pointless complaining, its not as if my wife especially would ever feel welcome again amongst them.



I just hope others don't get the same heavy approach and succumb to the pressure, you should be comfortable and wanting to play, not pressured into it.
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PKDK69   Couple Man 48yrs Woman 48yrs

AnnieWhichway, apologies getting name wrong

AnnieWhichway, apologies getting name wrong
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DynamicCouple36  

Couple Man 47yrs Woman 38yrs

No always means NO

We have been to several swingers clubs and parties. At none of these was there ever any pressure to (a) dress down (b) play.

It has always been made very clear, at the above, that there would never be any pressure to play and the No means No.

Perhaps the party that you went to , was the exception to the rule. Now you know which one to avoid for next time.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway   TV/CD 54yrs

Anywhichway




Quoting 'PKDK69'

AnnieWhichway, apologies getting name wrong

You were on the money either way. I've used that name here as well so still correct.....
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Country_Couple1  

Couple Man 48yrs Woman 47yrs

PKDK69

We have attended several killing kittens parties, both in Sydney and Melbourne. Never any pressure to play, always seem to be held in great venues. Great fun and relaxed atmosphere with hosts that look after all those that attend.

They may be a good option for you to meet others in a no expectation environment.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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TheView  

Couple Man 40yrs Woman 40yrs

Yes, unusual

I know the group, and heaps of regulars that attend. I'd email the organiser with exactly what you posted, and get some feedback. It doesnt sound in keeping with their useual attitude, because they love newbies. Everyone is one of those once.



If you want some other suggestions in the mean time, I know few smaller groups & couples that host events of various sizes. Just message me.
Nov 05, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post

Invitation

Sorry to hear about your experience. I have been to group events and they were always very friendly (however usually everyone played. There was one exception when one guy simply left after chatting for awhile. I have never seen pressure to play before).

When you went into the 'open sex room', you were clearly invited. You have made this very clear. That was clearly not the problem. Some people love to be watched by lovely people such as yourselves. Perhaps you guys having clothes on may even provide some sort of 'kink' to the situation. Come and watch me anytime haha.

I think the problem was definitely the woman in the spa. She may have liked you and felt frustrated that you were not playing - but that is her problem not yours. I have felt disappointed before too when I have missed out on playing with someone who seemed reserved, but that's just too bad for me, just like in the vanilla world. I didn't go running about complaining. I just shrugged my shoulders and played with others.

As far as I know, it is definitely not compulsory to play. Hope you guys have some great experiences in the future (watching and/or participating)
Nov 05, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
TheScorpions   Couple Man 48yrs Woman 35yrs

No

We tell everyone we have no expectations for couples and singles to play even before they arrive. The simple anwser is NO and if your at a party where you are told you have to play ...your at the wrong party.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Freaky_Fun  

Woman 47yrs

I know who you're talking about.

And it's not unusual of late.

I've received the text messages stating l was expected to play if l attend and the parties aren't for beginners. Being the shy, delicate flower that l am l responded appropriately. Needless to say l haven't attended.



In saying that l have attended a party from the other host and was warmly welcomed and treated well.

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twowithnolimits   Couple Man 51yrs Woman 37yrs

expectations

I never endorse poor attitude but i don;t see a problem with running parties with both approaches, i thin k it comes down to expectations..it is incumbent upon the organizers to make the expectations crystal clear ahead of time not after you arrival. We have had some very disappointing times when 75% of attendees stay dressed and watch in groups seriously cooling down the night when what we have been seeking is a good sweaty night, similarly we have run our own functions for the less experienced which attract a different crowd.

One size does not fit all.
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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

well

Disgusting. I would avoid avoid avoid and pass the word around. I couldn't give a crap whether people are disappointed they don't get a root. Screw them, that's their problem. Pressure to play? May as well throw keys in the middle of the table and fuck anyone. What a revolting thought, not to mention how it opens a can of worms with people feeling violated.

So they're not attracted to anyone there, which can happen, yet expected to have sex with them? Has a brothel kind of sound to it. No absolutely means no, no exceptions. The only people endorsing that would be those who otherwise can't get a fuck. The very reason so many dusgusting men host parties I would think
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noeleena  

Woman 70yrs

wow told what to do.

Hi,

I have been to a few different meetups one at Melbourne in King street 7 th July and never was told I had to be involved quite the other way I was left to myself only there 5 ,1/2 hours unicorn or wallflower ,plus 200 people

The others have been at Tawse Manor in Christchurch NZ, been to 6 meetups avg 45 to 60 people and again I was left to my self never asked to join in and was able to watch what ever when ever while there ,plus being very reserved I would never ask ,

Allso I don't think I,ll make a very good swinger,,, not active and quite standoffish, any way I don't have Tawse Manor to go to any more The Host,s have taken time out, and it is or was a neat place to go to.

...noeleena...
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Doubleup282  

Couple Man 50yrs Woman 47yrs

Not on

We’ve only been to one small house party full of regulars but were made to feel welcome and there was no pressure to dress down or play all night.

If we went to a party and got treated like that OP then we would name and shame to help others make informed decisions.

Mr D

- Posted from rhpmobile
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PKDK69   Couple Man 48yrs Woman 48yrs

Thanks all

Thanks all, its good hearing your views.



Its hard as we don't want to be seen making any waves, we have thought about trying to contact the organisers behind it, but they all seem to be a close group, we are the new outsiders remember.

I think the guy would just deny it, then we would look like a pair of trouble makers.

On the other hand we feel guilty not to stand up and warn others that their parties are not what they present.



The worst thing was my wife feeling hurt and not welcome, and i feel it was a gutless thing as he approached my wife and not myself, even though he tried speaking quietly in my wifes ear, I caught what was said, but left the conversation with wife and him, I didn't want to spoil the atmosphere in the room on the othrrs so i held my peace. I then said to wife, lets exit the room, sat on lounge and discussed it, then agreed to walk out.



The group advertised it as new couples welcome and no pressure.

They also hold events that are more full on, which this one wasn't.



Maybe the host has issues not comprehending which event it is.



We will just look to other options now.
Nov 06, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FredAndGinger2  

Couple Man 43yrs Woman 41yrs

It's never compulsory

There's an event organiser here in Melbourne that hosts parties and fom several reports he also puts the heavy word on guests to play, particularly women.

Not everyone is interested in random fucks, and not everyone can flick a switch to fuck on request. This is why we are generally only comfortable at meet and greet events and then organise private catch-ups with the couples we do connect with.



- Posted from rhpmobile
Nov 06, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
cat_n_the_hatter   Couple Man 51yrs Woman 45yrs

We tried twice

to go to private parties but not to play (Melbourne).
Even though they advertised their party, in the Events section, as a party that is for everyone, no pressure to play and NO means no, when I send them the message to enquire further about the details and explain our position I was told they have a limited number of places and we were rejected.
I have to say we went to one party where we felt welcomed and I really liked the people, so it’s not the rule.
My opinion is some advertise it as inclusive of everyone, but in reality they don't want you if you don't play. I would rather us to find a nice couple that we can have a connection with and become friends. (Ms)


Nov 06, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
DynamicCouple36  

Couple Man 47yrs Woman 38yrs

Fred

There are some males (Melbourne ) that only host swingers parties so that they get to have a shagg and some action. We too have encountered them and now avoid their parties.

We feel that someone who hosts a paid swingers party, should not be getting in on the action, but rather keeping an eye on things and ensuring that his guests are all OK.

- Posted from rhpmobile

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