Confident Men

Confident Men

    | Jan 09, 2018
nghty_embraces2   Couple Man 50yrs Woman 54yrs
Women apparently love confident men. I've witnessed the confident man in a party slap a bottom or two or give a lady a pash and off they go to a room. If I did that I'd probably be slapped or punched and thrown out.
But given recent events in the news, when does the confident male overstep the boundry and risk receiving a summons for sexual assault or harassment.
In this lifestyle confidence wins the girl but it risks being taken to court or dragged through the media years later.
Does being a more reserved and less forward type put men at a disadvantage. I don't suffer a lack of confidence but don't want to be misunderstood or risk being labeled a pest. It's difficult to get the balance right.
You want a confident man but if he's not your type watch out. But if he is how much is ok.


- Posted from rhpmobile
Jan 09, 2018 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
I_touch_myself2

no

I don't like any man touching me unless invited to do so. There's such a thing as invading personal space whether half naked in a club or fully clothed in public

Confidence I do like. I'm confident and love men the same, touching will happen when both are comfortable but to just waltz up and slap my arse, no hell no
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sweetgem   Woman 39yrs

One of the reasons why....

I quit clubbing at 18, because those so called confident men at the clubs disrespected me by randomly grabbing my arse when I walked pass them! And when I turned to confront them, they laughed so loudly to make me feel more embarrassed! Their actions were disrespectful and daunting for an 18 year old girl! And this arse grabbing crap still happening occasionally at the pubs, when I go there to socialise with work people! Hence, I disagree with your view on women apparently love confident men in the adult scene or environment. At least I am not one of those women anyway.

However, I do like a confident man in a non-swingers, or clubbing, or pub, environment, whom can hold a smart and respectful conversation just about anything and everything, but wont lose his respect for me as a woman.

To answer your question OP, and I only speak for my own liking and/or experiences.....no, I do not think that being a bit reserved and less forward would put a man at a disadvantage. I would be more attracted to a man being confident in that way and sense, as it would mean that he cares to learn what I like in a man first, then makes his moves at the right time, and that to me is respect! 😊

PS. I can’t stop laughing at your line about you would probably get slapped, or punched, or thrown or if you were to slap a girl’s bottom, so funny the way you put it 😄😄

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Pommyfucker  

Man 34yrs

Some women may disagree with this

But depending on how confident you are, how much power you hold and how much popularity you command among a group it can drastically change what is defined as sexual harrassment and what is flirting.
Generally as a rule more assertive and confident men perform better however this is not always the case.
I was once on a works do in town (I work in an entirely male environment) and our group got chatting to two young women. I watched as all my colleagues were loud and dominant while I stood back and only said a few words. As my colleagues got bored, distracted and eventually gave up trying to impress I noticed that one of the ladies had gravitated towards me.
We got chatting and to cut a long story short I wound up back in her hotel room.
During the after sex conversation she told me how she'd been watching me and loved the way how instead of trying to prove I had the biggest dick I'd hung back and been confident in my own skin.

I think to conclude I think everyone is different, assertive might work on some people but laid back and chilled might work on others
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The_Antichrist   Man 39yrs

I think in your OP....

You’re confusing confidence with douchebag....

Just sayin...

- Posted from rhpmobile
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FredAndGinger2  

Couple Man 44yrs Woman 41yrs

Confident, arrogant, ignorant or cocky?

A couples perspective:

That "confident" guy who goes around slapping arses and perhaps throwing around cheesy pick-up lines is just playing the numbers game. A percentage of the finer sex might go for that but I'd be surprised if that is very many.

Some of us seek a connection, some common interests or attraction. Some depth of interesting character.

Ignoring personal space, disrespecting the woman and/or the couple is a sure way to disengage many and perhaps even turn that couple away from the club / sex club / party scene.

I'm sure that guy who uses those techniques is also the reason so many couples profiles say "no single guys" - it's left a bad impression in the couples swinging scene.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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nghty_embraces2   Couple Man 50yrs Woman 54yrs

To sweetgem

I wasn't condoning the caveman mentality in some men, it was an observation.
One the reasons we stopped attending clubs was the same as yours. Mrs NE being treated like a piece of meat.
I was attempting to highlight the eggshells men are now going to have to walk on at events etc.
It might tone down their behaviour and they'll show the respect you ladies deserve.
But will this also deter guys from being confident and show the forwardness some ladies prefer?

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Tall_n_Hard   Man 61yrs

IMO...

a 'confident' man is someone who can mingle with the other guests at a venue with reasonable ease and earn the respect of those present, enough for them to easily interact with that person. In my book, confidence does not equal arse-grabbing at any apparent opportunity, but to be able to engage the lady so that she feels comfortable with the man to pay her attention, possibly leading up to some quiet attention when she may be ready for it. A confident man does not overstep any boundaries - he waits until he is re-asssured he is given appropriate permission, either expressly or subtly.

Tall
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OkeyDoke45   Man 48yrs

Lothario...

A good friend of mine is very confident with women, always very popular with them, and it had nothing to do whatsoever with grabbing them on the arse and all that malarkey. He just makes them laugh, makes them feel at ease, makes them feel like it is all about them (which was really funny, because it is actually all about him the whole time).

I am amazed that your friend gets away with that in this day and age, I dare suspect he cops a lot more abuse and a few slaps to the face than you see.
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Freaky_Fun  

Woman 48yrs

That confident man....

Would more than likely get put on his arse if that happened to me. Just saying. Totally agree with Tall and Anti. Big difference between confidence and douchebag.



I must of missed the bit where it says he was one of those 'dreaded single males'. Because the male of a couple would never do that 🙄
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Mischeviouslad   Man 46yrs

Confidence

Confidence has NOTHING to do with assuming liberties over other people, especially in the self absorbed examples given in the opening topic





That is arrogance, not confidence.



I would go as far to say that his exhibition was more borne from insecurity and a compulsion to put on a public show, to seek validation that smokescreens over his frailties, than any semblance of confidence.





Confidence can in my view be simply described as an attitude that no matter what situation or circumstance a person is presented with, that person has the mindset of being capable of accepting, dealing with and handling it.



That's it.



That may overstep some people's boundaries because capable people are generally take-action people, and those less capable can sometimes see some 'lesser' people's toesfeel stepped on.







And note that confidence.... is not gender specific or limited.





DG
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sweetfrangapani   Woman 48yrs

Hitting

Confident, arrogant or just plain dumb.......

Hitting anyone is not on!!
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CandyD   Woman 32yrs

Parties

You’re referring to a sex party. I assume your friend observes first the women who are being very touchy feely with others, and perhaps has caught her eye a few times ... prior to him going in for the pash?

I agree with above. I don’t like men to just come up and squeeze my tits, even if I am sitting naked in the spa with them for instances. I fight married older men (50’s) are the worst!



Agree with DG. A confident guy is different. For instance, my boyfriend who is much older than me, always has shop assistants and waitress and waiters (much younger ones too) flirting outrageously with him while I sit there !! It’s so bizarre. He must give off a sent or something! Haha
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Titaniumfox   Man 49yrs

the other foot ...

My arse has been grabbed in a pub by girls, when I've turned around there's a group standing there grinning and the 'perp' wouldn't own up ..... dammit

- Posted from rhpmobile
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The_Antichrist   Man 39yrs

Freaky...

Maybe it was Harvey the celebrity hunter??

- Posted from rhpmobile
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swingalingson   Man 37yrs

There are clubs and there are clubs.

In my experience the men at a non sexual swingers club think it is funny to be antisocial. Simply put, many do play the numbers game. Because it is not a local place and the crowd will change constantly.



Example at the casino, it may be a last attempt to try to pickup with the extra Sharpe cheese aged lines.



Put the same person in a swingers club, and many of the patrons in the past, in my experience themselves weed out that type of

behavior. In other wards men like that make other gentlemen look bad in a sex club.



I guess some of the men that behave that way perhaps may not "get it" or "get the scene" in understanding the rules of swingers clubs. That maybe the first at last attempt at at a sex club For thrm. Because their right to entry may be refused or revoked on the night or in the future by a host or fellow patrons.



Some donkies can be stubborn, and arrogance can be blinding. Invasion of personal space without consent is disrespectful.



But the actions of a few should not be viewed to disadvantage the respectful ones.



Confidence and cocky arrogance is always observed. Not just in men but in many men and women.



From what I have seen in my experience is that women feel more comfortable in a swingers club than at the local club or pub. That is way a sex club can be for some women and couples a refreshing change and difference in atmosphere.









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jayme2   Man 55yrs

There's a distinct different ...

...between confidence and being a serial pest. Confidence is being yourself and knowing how to send the right signals..



The rest slap arse's and send dic pics... ?
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nghty_embraces2   Couple Man 50yrs Woman 54yrs

Candy and okey

Nowhere did I say it was a 'friend'.
My phraseology could have better when I said slap. Maybe a pat was more accurate.
Confidence and being forward travel together. Some take liberties and push the boundaries. I cringe at their behaviour and how they taint the reputations of the male species.
I would never do what I have observed.

If anything I hold back too much which might give the wrong impression. My wife and have been affected by the bad behavior. She's reluctant to attend a club and I don't want to labeled amongst the bad just because I make a small effort to show I'm attracted to someone. So I'm polite and a gentleman.
I love confident women. It's nice when approached first by a lady. Even men want to feel attractive. But women it seem like men to make the first move because they find confidence attractive.
Agree with Mischievous some men display arrogance not confidence and that has no place in the swinging scene.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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jayme2   Man 55yrs

Titanium fox..

I'll vouch for that.. Same senario , you get your arse pinched and when you turn around there's lots of smiles and giggles , but no one looks you in the eye... I take it as a compliment, but I guess it's different for females ?
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Buddha1   Man 60yrs

The world is changing for the better but slowly for the ladies.

Yes, men are more confident
than women because we have managed to manipulate the world to appear to be
superior for some time, but every person on this planet should be equal but
that will never happen.



The third world doesn’t have
hope for some ladies, the first world is slowly moving to equality. More women are
working and getting higher up the corporate ladder but maintained and managed by
other concerned men. The OLD SCHOOL tie lot. I can assure you, there should be
many more woman in some of those top jobs because they best qualitied and
limited because she is a mother, wife and woman. The quote “It’s a man world
should be its OUR World” A mindset problem.



These men are confident that they can stem this tide of
advancement and equality plus continue to maintain this status quo. So, they
believe they can continue on the path of a chauvinist nature and get away with things
as a norm. This is wrong as it does allow men to get away with degrading women.
We need them more they need us.



My father taught me an important lesson @ 17, he said to
mingle first at parties, banter and chat to lots of ladies and when got off
with my mates for a drink. If they were interested they would come to you so it
would be mutual for both parties. Simple respect and holy shit it worked for
years.



Times are changing with the recent actresses’ protests, actors
caught out and movie directors who control power as to who works, then the dumb
Americans voting in Trump then complain, plus the church and its hidden problems.
What if Jesus was called Juliet and god was a woman. OMG.



No fear, ladies, the tide is rising and some of us men are
going to be in lots of trouble.



Rxxx

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CandyD   Woman 32yrs

Friends

So if they were not known to you, perhaps that “Guy” knew the women in question. It’s possible. There are always regulars at clubs and parties that know each other.

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