F42
Bi Males and the swinging scene
January 21 2019
I personally find MM a massive turn on - particularly when seeing its effect on the man/men I love. Also, I find open mindedness and curiosity a huge turn on.
But either the pool of bi guys is actually very small or nobody posts it out of fear other couples wont want to play with them because prospective male play partners dont want to run the risk of engaging in homosexual acts... it's a vicious cycle and must be so frustrating.
I am curious why we have this double standard where its encouraged for women to openly explore and enjoy playing with each other but not for men to do the same?
I'd love to hear from couples in which the Male is bi, single bi guys and anyone else who may have advice or a morsel of insight to share. It makes me sad to think his experiences may be few and far between while my GF and I get all the satisfaction we desire.
- Posted from rhpmobile
Comments
Haleakala
5 years ago
My experience is that many couples will not play with openly bi single guys as the male half of the couple is worried that the bi guy won't keep his hands to himself. As a result a lot of bi guys and couples put straight down for the guy. In what way be a contradiction some list mmf(bi) as something they are interested in.
Bi males seem to be less tolerated at events as well, obviously there are some that encourage it but it does seem the majority of events favour bi girls and straight guys.
Freaky_Fun
5 years ago
Similar topics have been posted before and it always appears to be the same responses.
It's just not accepted as freely as women. And you're right l think a lot of men keep it to themselves for fear of scaring away the 'straight' people.
I'd love a dollar for each time a straight couple have played with a bi or bi curious male and known no difference. Pretty sure they don't have a neon sign on their forehead. 😂😂
Bring on the bi men l say 😍
RHP User
5 years ago
My suggestion would be to go to a more specialized site, and there is one that I probably can't mention on RHP, that deals with bisexual men. Be warned and wary though, there are some really fucked-up dudes on there, which is why I don't go there anymore. Some really special, completely desperate weirdos.
RHP User
5 years ago
Shame hubby and I aren’t currently playing (and live in another state)
We are both bi, and you are totally cute!
teamaj2
5 years ago
Hi Valerie
My husband and I are both bi .
We have been very lucky and met some amazing bi guys on RHP .
It’s sad to think that on RHP people don’t feel brave enough to put Bi in their profiles . We often get messages from guys that state they are straight in their profile . When they message they say they are bi .
Most events sadly aren’t bi male friendly . We choose not to attend.
We go to a Monthly event here in Melbourne that advocates freedom to be whom. You want to be .
I find MM play very erotic and exiting.
Congratulations to all those brave enough to be true to themselves and enjoy all there is out there .
FeistyFatty
5 years ago
Never a shortage of bi guys on here
AnnieWhichway
5 years ago
The place is full of double standards when it comes to bi sexuals.A lot comes from the females of couples. They dont tolerate their 'man' playing with other men. All it does is drive it underground causing hubby to sleaze around behind their back. The majority of guys that hit me up are married and love a bit of cock.I have had a few hubby's from swinging couples who have active bi wifes that have been forbidden to pursue their bi side.
RHP User
5 years ago
We too feel this one all to often, we are both bi and even our partners aren’t the. More than happy to go with the flow.
Although it does seem like most guys say straight on the profile then will tell you otherwise in a chat (which just seems a tad deceitful)RHP User
5 years ago
Hi Valerie,As an openly bi male, with a huge preference for bi cpls, and lucky enough to have shared some amazing experiences with bi couples that I will remain fond of for quite some time, I can share a few insights, which, may well be not applicable to all, but I have found quite common with those I have met, or engaged in conversation with.Couples that list openly as bi, find more pleasure in the cerebral aspects it gives each-other, than the play itself, akin to receiving pleasure purely through the experience of their partner receiving pleasure from a 3rd person, who will also pleasure them, with no jealousy or judgement. The taking of a 3rd person, indicates they are already at a place, where they appreciate more so, the freedom to indulge whilst being connected to each-other. To me, this deserves effort in the opening approach or response to them, letting them know you have an understanding of where they are at, and what may arouse them enough to invite you along. Many have commented, that this is quite a rare thing to happen, with what seems to be a high percentage of messages being one liners or crass, repulsing rather than enticing. Yes, there aren't many openly listed bi guys, but feedback is most who are will spend more effort than those who aren't, yet still approach cpls. If I message a couple, I have learnt t disclose openly I'm bi, but if he is straight, that I will respect that, hoping to ease their minds, and set the tone from the outset, which seems to be appreciated by most, and progressed to play with quite a few.Where the listing is curious, unsure etc... it is even more important to show an understanding, ability and commitment to make this as comfortable as possible, as natural as possible, (YES I was at that place on my journey only a few years ago) because its not something easy to jump into the first time as a couple, or single male.The gist here is, make more effort, and opportunities will present themselves with the right people.
teamaj2
5 years ago
Sorry for earlier post !
Best I don’t post when half asleep . Excuse the spelling error and grammar. Just saying , I do know how to spell exciting .SandeGiny
5 years ago
Thanks everyone for your insightful responses - particularly yourtoytouse: wow, thankyou so much. I think it's very cool that you take the time to understand where people are at, and try to make them as comfortable as possible. There aren't even a lot of straight guys who would do that for a woman...
It really disappoints me that so many adults lack the courage to communicate their needs and boundaries and close themselves off to opportunities for wonderful experiences because of a fear of being forced to do something you don't want to do because or to take the time to actually discuss anything before making the decision to move forward or not. Surely people realise Bisexual means you like men AND women? So if a husband/boyfriend says "no, I don't want that", the bi guy will be OK with that and leave him alone. I feel like we're being bombarded with articles about Consent these days which it seems the bulk of people think only applies to men when engaging with women but it doesn't: Bi guys are not the Devil (but hell, I'd still go there - who knows, Mr Morningstar could be a lot of fun, AMIRIGHT?), they aren't desperate, greedy, rapist gorillas who will paw you every chance they get. From my experience, bisexual men are probably more genuine, self-aware and open to communication than they're credited to be - most, I should point out: not all - that'd be like saying "all women are good mothers"...
I don't expect to change peoples' minds in this discussion, and I do understand this frustration will not go away because there are LOTS of desperate perverts, deviants, cowards and homophobes out there who are happy to just go on making it hard for the rest of us, but it has given me hope to see that there are people out there who are brave enough to be honest and put themselves out there.
Also, to those of you in Melbourne, Brisbane and Sydney, (and Canberra of course) please feel free to reach out to me if you're interested and I'll let my partners know. We have been known to travel together and would love to play with the right people.RHP User
5 years ago
We posted a similar post not long ago "guy on guy action"
It got lots of positive responses and you might find some suitable guys on there from the comments?
It certainly helped us 😊
Love MMF and so do many other people here.RHP User
5 years ago
I think everyone is bi deep down but society still can and will discriminate so I just call myself “experimental” I would recommend that every on gives it a crack 😂. Exploring our sexuality is why we are on RHP after all.
teachme383
5 years ago
I'm a bi cd/tv and I hardly ever find people who are interested in me, or when I do, their interest wanes after a very short time. I can understand your frustration. I would happily have fun with a man woman or couple who are intrerested in me, but most seem to think that I want to be feminine all the time, which is not always true
twowithnolimits
5 years ago
We have noticed several things around this topic
.A great many guys who post as straight confess to being bi in the PM's
.Many guys who say they are bi in their profiles turn out not to be really and are only trying to get some pussy
.Straightness is a cultural thing (at least publicly) for some, especially if they have big cocks
.In the heat of the moment most males don;t give a rats who's lips they can feel, they just pump anyway ;-)
just saying....RHP User
5 years ago
We are BiMale/Straight BBW female looking for BiMale which is near impossible for a couple of reasons, i.e we both have herpes but not the plague, BiMales whom have contacted only want BiMale Partner and not BBW Straight Female, there is no happy medium lol.
FunSexyCple
5 years ago
I'm a bi man. I love a sexy mmf threesome where the other m and f is comfortable with all of us playing together. I enjoy the horny heat of the moment.
Sadly many "bi" guys aren't ready to reciprocate because:
- they feel guilt
- they don't want to be branded gay
- they worry they will lose the respect if their partner or self respect, they are afraid of judgement
- they are scared that they will actually enjoy it
This stems from a lack of self confidence I think, they aren't strong enough in their own skin to allow themselves the opportunity to enjoy themselves without the fear of recrimination in some form. What would other people think, how would they be branded if it was found out they sucked a cock.
Society in my opinion, due to hundreds of years of repressive religious doctrine, has created a stigmata of m2m sex. I think the undead branding if gay men is evident in that. I felt guilty and dirty the first time I sucked cock in my teens. It took some time to admit to myself it was OK. It took 10 years of being married b4 I confessed to my wife.
I have been in situations where I knew the other m wanted to touch me but couldn't break through the fear barrier.
I enjoy seeing my partner pleasured. I love an evening of unbridled steamy sex where I can be free to watch, touch, kiss and suck all of my playmates without jealousy. And so can they.
That's another thing, guys don't like to kiss guys. It seems to be a scared intimacy that they can't handle (will say girls are better kisses over all though, more playful than forceful. Guys try to dominate the kiss, it's a power thing I think).
Anal sex is another taboo. Guys will run a girl but often not another guy. Basically the same thing, again though girls in my opinion have nicer butts.
If we just allowed ourselves to give and receive pleasure (by that I mean consensual and not harmful to ourselves or others) and accept the moment without judging each other, the world would be a better place.FunSexyCple
5 years ago
If you and hubby decide to play again.... Please drop us a line :-)
FunSexyCple
5 years ago
Opps please ignore that last post.
RHP User
5 years ago
I agree, people don't like openly bi males, I get the not my thing deal. But if your not Bi I would not touch you just your partner. Still they are a bit scared
RHP User
5 years ago
....all sorts of approaches. Mentioed I'm bi curious, said I'm straight and looking to try just for the hell of it. Nothing has got me anywhere and that is all probably timing. I'd love to give it a go but can't say for sure that it's something that I'd do all the time. So for now I just leave my profile as straight and if it comes up then I'd be down for it.
RHP User
5 years ago
Definitely a stigma . I am a bi male in a testosterone overloaded town . Actually more trip , because I regard trans as another sex altogether . I have experienced all forms and have a friend who regularly drops by and sucks me off . My favourite play is with an actual couple but this doesn't happen much at all. I actually prefer some femininity present , hence trans are a big turn on . My fantasy fuck is to be receiving anal while being blown , but love to suck cock and really love licking pussy . As to not revealing on my profile , when it was I was bombarded by gay guys ,which I am not and normally won't play one on one with another guy . Not into kissing another man either . Definitely not into hairy or fat guys , but chubby girls I don't have an issue with . I find it annoying with the double standard that bi women are quite mainstreamly accepted . Slutever on SBS nailed it , and would love to be nailed by Karly .
twowithnolimits
5 years ago
In our experience at least a third of the straight guys who we play with have some desire around cock, because of the stigma and double standards combined with the vast number of guys competing for the attention on RHP of couples or that rare beast, a woman ,most are unwilling to do anything that may lessen their chances, like say they are bi for instance.
twowithnolimits
5 years ago
p.s. and for all the macho guys who think playing freely makes them less of a man...the Spartans were openly bi and they were the toughest MF's who ever lived ;-)
D_Light
5 years ago
I'm comfortable in saying I'm BI - attracted to both M & F, It took a couple of years but I had a beautiful partner encouraging me to explore and enjoy all that it can offer & experience what F's embrace from us M's except without a Vagina. … It's been a rewarding journey and one I am still pursuing solo with much confidence & success.
I've attended many parties on RHP and gone to the clubs a good number of time and yes there is a stigma attached to being BI or curious and has had me on the sidelines most times, but I'm there to make friends foremost and that I have some really good friends that can enjoy open conversations & jokes and not live behind doors and in a lie.
I have a healthy sex life and have no expectations or need to feel obligated to do anything with anyone & I return that respect and if everything aligns then happy days. Those that wish to judge this in a negative way are the ones missing out and if your not prepared to try or do what you expect your partner to do for you then...….. your loss and not qualified to an opinion.
BI xxRHP User
5 years ago
At first it can be strange being a bi guy when meeting a bi couple, or to bring a bi guy into the couple.
Trust and letting desire be in control help a lot. Also being familiar with each other helps.
There are many bi guys who like women but also enjoy some of the benefits of male play
Playful2looking
5 years ago
we are a bi couple hence our handle.... if we scare away straight guys or bi Curious Guys .. sorry for this but we are what we are.. It has not being an easy road and we don't play much as most people seem to, think we are a step too far when we meet a new couple that are bi... the guys usually start off the play with some cock sucking and kissing while the girls watch .sipping some wine..this tends to get things rolling until the girls start to heat up. Being bi does restrict us with play time but we get in our eyes quality.. not quantity. yes we can play straight but its hard to keep your hands off someone you are attracted to. We are not sure if we have answered your question about bi men .. if the bi men are not open with their desires .. we can't change them its a journey they have to do.. like we had to. They need to discuss their sexuality with their partner and if she thinks he is less of a man because he likes to suck cock well they have an issue to discuss before getting into their bi side......
RHP User
5 years ago
We all know men are less fussy when it comes to sex, bi guys are no different.
Yes it’s a sweeping generalisation but it’s true, you can find a cock to suck at the local public toilet.
Unsavoury but true.
So the stigma about bi guys is not without foundation, the site okeydokey, didn’t want to mention is biaustralia and there is ample evidence there of which I speak.
Finding a suitable bi guy is as difficult as finding any other partner you have to use your discernment and filters and gut feelings.
Best Wishes
just4fun48
5 years ago
We have had two bi guys , well I say more bi curious. have to be careful as guys say anything to have a fun with a couple
cbdlivin
5 years ago
I am a Bi man but picky about who I have sex with, I prefer a connection at some level even for casual fun. It does sideline you a lot being a bi male as so many people either think you are actually gay and hiding it, or that you bang everything day and night so are obviously unsafe. As far as I can work out no matter what your orientation you play fast and loose or you don't it is not a matter of your orientation.
So in the end the bi males are out there but maybe have got used to being more circumspect on their sexuality just so they can make a connection first before maybe mentioning that side of themselves.
BRHP User
4 years ago
I'm a bi male and find it hard to find a regular female partner that accepts it
RHP User
4 years ago
I hate labels... we are all sexual beings. I happen to be very comfortable with sexual contact with both sexes. That was not always the case. I have found on here that often guys with straight on their profile will look at other guys profile. When I have sent a message, most state at least a curiosity about MM, even if they have not tried it. Of those I have got with, so it it isa occasional thing and they really prefer women, others it is genuine that they are just starting to experiment. Others have said that the put straight because a bi bloke or couple will still take a chance, but many women won't (or they believe won't) contact a bi guy. So If I find straight guy attractive on here, I'll flirt or message. Figure the worst that can happen is they say no.... but my experience is more and more in the last few years, guys a willing to explore more than they used to... it is finding a label that guys are comfortable with. Younger guys are far more comfortable with it and have probably experimented.... and guys in there late 30's early 40's often are not starting to explore this side of themselves.... and finding it is enjoyable and actually does not change them or define them... it just gives them more options.
melbbeachboy87
4 years ago
im a bi male. Hoping to find a girl who is ok with it. I have hooked up with MF bi couples at swingers nights. Have done pretty much all the sex MMF threesomes can do.
RHP User
4 years ago
We're both bi and it's really difficult to find other couples where both are bi as well.
Most couples who contact us have only the girl being bi and the man is straight,not even curious. We find it so cliché.
And yet that's a cultural trait here, homophobia is still raging amongst men while these same men fantasise about girls making out and both of them being after them. That's a very conservative view of sex actually.RHP User
4 years ago
We have been looking for a Bi Male for some time, but are struggling to find a genuine guy that we would be happy to play with.To many guys say they are bi but actually just want to touch mrs. :(
RHP User
4 years ago
Being a bi male, often find it difficult to find a lady or couple to share the pleasure with, this could be just individual/s taste (we are all different).
I believe we all just need to keep searching and connecting, till we find the right partner/s that we connect with and hopefully find ongoing pleasure.
Good luck with your search everyone.
MrMeSeeksYou
4 years ago
I've considered changing my username because it does seem to scare off people who might be interested otherwise. I'm very capable of respect and keeping hands or bits to myself. I believe in safety too so I'm not sure why it's such an issue.
But fuck it, I'll leave it as it is and hopefully I'll find a couple that want to share me. 🤞RHP User
4 years ago
There is an element of truth that many guys looking for couples will not disclose their true sexual preferences. Like you Valerie, I can only assume this is because they fear being open about their sexuality will narrow down their opportunities. And this might well be the case. The risk there is of course, if they get lucky, it would not be the truly fulfilling experience they might be searching for.In my own experience, patience has rewarded me with wonderful experiences from those who are not so 'straight biased' for want of a better term and are open minded. This means a more relaxed and open experience overall. Interestingly, 'experimental' also seems to be code for 'bi when it suits me'. I guess the only thing you guys can do is keep searching. The right guy who has the qualities you seek will appear at some time. Good luck!
ukexpat1981
4 years ago
Anyone Sydney area?
RHP User
4 years ago
As a bi guy I have been tempted to have a second profile as I'm sure many couples don't like bi males. I've been asked plenty of times if I'm bi, so I guess this is a genuine concern.
RHP User
4 years ago
I’m a bi curious who is probably more bi than curious as I am into sex with both mm MF and mmf , took awhile to work this out and yes there are a lot of judgmental people from all sexual preferences so I prefer to go with openminded than labels as I like to go with the flow. Expecting a mfm encounter but ending up with a mmf with a whole load of new (safe) experiences sounds great to me as long as all boundaries and consent is there. I’d love to end up with more mm encounter in a mmf session with the female either directing The action or just plain enjoying what she’s seeing, big turn on.
KinkyHugh
4 years ago
There is still a lot of stigma when it comes to bi men in the scene. A lot of couples and even single women feel uncomfortable inviting a bi dude to the bed. Where female bisexuality is often celebrated and encouraged, that’s rarely the case when it comes to men. I understand the stigma and men’s behaviour to hold back their urges and feelings. I think it’s high time we come forward and share more of our fantasies and desires and stop shaming other men.
I find that with these adult dating websites, people seem to forget that there is a person behind a username and are often quick to block or just dismiss someone based on appearance or sexuality. A bit of courtesy and communication goes a long way.
BiGuy_MMF_FWB
3 years ago
Im looking to be part of an MMF Bi thrupple or group its proving to be impossible to find what i want and need.
RuralBiCple
3 years ago
In our experience most "Bi guys" are "Bi Tops" which is code for I will let a guy suck my cock so I can fuck his female partner aka "the time waster". Finding genuine Bi guys is a time consuming, difficult task that once accomplished is very rewarding for all concerned.
Serendipity69
3 years ago
We are a bi couple, both pretty open about it but also acknowledge that at most parties, the males who are bi are not generally allowed to play as it is still oddly not accepted, although the possible overeaction by some males may well be good reason for organisers.
She loves watching guys play and we both love sharing a lovely hard cock together, and we have found that with some effort, finding other bi couples or genuinely bi single males who are respectful and can hold a conversation isn't that hard, although in regard to single males, there is always those that are a little to eager, and often clearly fake.
Our experience is that there are a lot of women who very much enjoy bi male play, just as males enjoy the bi female play. We attend bi parties and often when looking up peoples profiles after that we have played with, many men have straight listed although that is not our experience.. There can be a myriad of reasons, from cultural stigma, to many simply experimenting, we try not to judge. In the lifestyle, we are all finding our pleasures and turn ons and that can be fluid. Sexuality is perhaps more of a grey zone than black and white for many in the lifestyle, more dependant on those they play with than any other factor, and as we all have vanilla lives, discretion can be very important to the vast majority.
Being in a poly relationship, finding a bi male that fits with your pre-existing dynamic may well be the biggest challenge.
great_pretender
3 years ago
As a bi male, as soon as you mention, "hey yeah, I'm bi does your partner okay with being touched by another man?" They break off all communication.
naughtytintin
3 years ago
I’ve had the pleasure of finding some great bi couples to play with, but it does seem rare when the number of responses to messages i send is minimal. Sure it as attraction is subjective and personal
not everyone will be attracted to me. That is to be expected but a minimum of “thanks but no” is appreciated. So id say keep looking and this forum should gather a decent pool of interested and willing bi males and couples with bi males.
Duke_n_Daisy69
3 years ago
We are both purely sexual and not remotely interested in a same sex relationship...but definitely love enjoying same sex sex....not emotionally driven....just love bodies and sex....we have each other for the emotional connection.....
RHP User
4 months ago
I’m bi and my profile reflects that. I love playing with couples in mmf. But I don’t think in get as much interest as when I was just playing straight. Not fussed though, cos the few people I have met have wanted the exact same kind of experience. And it’s been awesome!
darnhard1
4 months ago
I like to keep it separated especially when it comes to some M,M on Me action I want to make the most of the opportunity , and love to get my cock slut fun on. Mmmm that’s got me wanting some cock,
Openguy09
4 months ago
I've played in bi thressomes , most guys won't kiss another guy. Only with the woman. I did have one couple I was with . I shared cum kisses with both male & female ,all very sensual for me . I've got no problem with kissing.
Laria
4 months ago
Bring in the lifestyle for the past 5 years has allowed me to feel more comfortable in my skin and open too.
I feel for bi/pan guys like myself exploring their sexuality. There is more judgement around being “too gay” and “too straight”.
Women get it a bit but the way Bi women are sexualised for it is different.
I like it when people can just be themselves and explore what they want without living up to society’s limiting beliefs on what is “normal” when it comes to sex and sexuality.
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