Advice Needed

Advice Needed

    | Mar 27, 2019
time4us4play  

Couple Man 58yrs Woman 56yrs
We have been playing semi - regularly with an interstate couple. We became friends as well as play friends, until this week when the female of the couple told my husband that she loved him.

We have cut off all contact with them but our question is.... how do we react should we bump into them at a meet and greet, club or party?

If anyone else has been in the same situation, how did you handle it?

Thank you,
C & S.



- Posted from rhpmobile
Mar 27, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
smoothtrust69   Man 34yrs



I been in same situation 2 years ago meet a girl from different site.
She wants relationship with me.

In your situation....
What you did in my point of view is right.
If you see them in parties be normal, greet them every one is mature enough to understand .
Nothing to worry 👍
Mar 27, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
totally_normal  

Couple Man 55yrs Woman 53yrs

I have friends who had an almost parallel relationship with another couple and had a similar experience where the other husband said he was "in love". They distanced themselves initially but eventually talked it through and remain close friends.
Love comes in many forms and when you meet regularly forming a close bond is always a possibility, working out how to deal with any feelings that develop can be a can be a challange but when you are pushing one boundry you are bound to bump up against others.
Mar 27, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
SuperFoxxxy  

Woman 47yrs

Why

Cut off all contact with them, if you enjoyed their company, happy to have sex/play dates with them (on semi regular basis) and have a friendship with?

Did the four of you ever discuss (openly and honestly) what would happen if feelings developed? Was cutting off contact/ghosting the outcome everyone agreed on or was it just you two who decided? You have denied them a choice by just cutting off (ghosting) all contact, without that discussion. Would you like it done to you?



How do we react should we bump into them at a meet and greet, club or party? You treat them no different to anyone else and as your friends (as you stated).

Ms Foxy

Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
mango69er  

Couple Man 52yrs Woman 62yrs

You did the correct thing by cutting off all contact with them. Your marrage comes first. They werent your closet friends. No couple wants to hang out with someone who may be inlove with either of you. If you see them at a club or party. No need to hang with them. But just be polite. You owe them nothing. Foxxy you are so wrong
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
OkeyDoke45   Man 49yrs

Hmmm... (scratches chin)...




Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy'

Cut off all contact with them, if you enjoyed their company, happy to have sex/play dates with them (on semi regular basis) and have a friendship with?

Did the four of you ever discuss (openly and honestly) what would happen if feelings developed? Was cutting off contact/ghosting the outcome everyone agreed on or was it just you two who decided? You have denied them a choice by just cutting off (ghosting) all contact, without that discussion. Would you like it done to you?



How do we react should we bump into them at a meet and greet, club or party? You treat them no different to anyone else and as your friends (as you stated).

Ms Foxy


Not sure about this approach Foxxxy. Do they talk it out with them, then try and continue on like nothing's happened? It's always going to be the elephant in the room (so to speak). The female half of the couple may apologize, say that she will try not to feel that way, but OP will never be sure and I'm sure it would play on their minds - which would, I imagine, impact on how much fun was had.

OP, not speaking from experience or anything, but I believe you made the right choice. Sure, you could message them and explain the situation, to be polite, but you are obviously uncomfortable with this development so I would tell them it was fun, but it's done. If they ask why, you can either tell a fib or be truthful. Being truthful may jeopardize their relationship. It's an interesting one, but I think you are best to walk away.
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FatFunFiesty  

Woman 39yrs

I 100% agree with Foxxy.
They were honest. There's no reciprocation mentioned. You have all presumably developed a friendship over the time you played together. So, Why ghost them completely? Perhaps a healthier response (once the shock wore off) would have been to connect all four of you and have a dialogue...... get it all out on the table so to speak.
I feel for you both, it would have been an emotional revelation.
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
horneycouplewa  

Couple Man 53yrs Woman 52yrs

Is it Love or Infactuation




Either way it is there, it's real and it doesn't just go away. Time away is the best healing (oddly enough just used this term in another forum) but "out of sight out of mind".

I definitely wouldn't be putting ourselves in situations of those feelings to be brought up again, time for distance.

Should they be a the same party or event then I think it's important you and your partner show extra attention to each other without eye contact to the other person, it's not to make the other person jealous or hurt their feelings but a visual thing for that person to see you both are in love and committed.

Eventually when the time and place is right you all can have a light harder discussion, but I would stay clear until emotions have settled and treat them like anyone else (friends) in public.
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
SuperFoxxxy  

Woman 47yrs

But wait

IMO, The woman has not done anything wrong except stated to the husband she "loves him". We don't know what exactly that means fully from the female. The OP has not stated if there has been any further inappropriate behavior from there, so why should she shunned or friendship ended, if there has been none of that. For all we know the wife could have jealousy issues that we do not know about. That has not been mentioned. So how can I be "so wrong" looking at the seeing from ALL points of view.

Ms Foxy
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
SuperFoxxxy  

Woman 47yrs

* looking at the scenario from ALL points of view.

Thank you FFF

Ms Foxy
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Phoenix_Rising   Woman 37yrs

I just popped in to say this is a really interesting read, it’s these kinds of sticky situations (pun intended) I come to the forums to learn about.
Thanks to all concerned 😊
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
mango69er  

Couple Man 52yrs Woman 62yrs

Hell no. They didnt get into this for the lady to fall in love with her husband. That has crossed a massive line. 95 percent of couples are here just to add a little spice to there lifes and make friends. No more. They protect and take care of there marrage. It means something to them. They will find new friends.
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FredAndGinger2  

Couple Man 47yrs Woman 44yrs

Poly?

I've only scanned the responses briefly but perhaps the other woman (or couple) are leading toward a poly relationship of some kind.

A mature response would be to meet all together and openly discuss feelings, expected behaviours and limits.

It may be wasteful to lose a perfectly good connection with a couple you enjoyed so much time together with

Try reading a few books on the subject:

- The ethical slut

- The ESSENTIAL GUIDE for Adventurous Couples
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
funtimescouple1  

Couple Man 50yrs Woman 45yrs

The golden rule broken with those three words. For us play friends are for play and pre-play (dinner / drinks) only.
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
time4us4play  

Couple Man 58yrs Woman 56yrs

Thank you everyone for your advice.
We have made the decision to totally not make any contact and have blocked them on our phones as well as on RHP.
Not everyone will agree, but we personally think this is the correct decision for us to make.
Thank you all again for your input.
Thank you,
C & S.
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
CandyD   Woman 32yrs

Time4us

Wow. That’s totally hard and cold. Blocked them and ignore them? No offense, but it does sound like a mature response to me. No need to act like that, surely!
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
time4us4play  

Couple Man 58yrs Woman 56yrs

Forgot to add that should we meet them at an event, it will be a polite nod and walk past them.
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
time4us4play  

Couple Man 58yrs Woman 56yrs

Candy D
For us the respect for our relationship has been broken. Although they are a lovely couple and as friends we had a lot in common, we just feel it would be totally awkward to try and remain friends.


Although you may find our decision cold and harsh, for us it is the correct one. Should we bump into them at an event a polite nod and move on is what we will do.
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
slightly_busted  

Couple Man 52yrs Woman 44yrs

no judgement on what you have chosen to do ,that’s tottally your choice ,but i do hope you at least let them know why ,and gave them a right of reply ,they were your good freinds and deserve at least that much ,not saying to make up or anything but it would be awful if they didn’t have to the opatunity to just say something as simple as sorry. and carried that with them internally for god knows how long ,that’s unfair .
mr b.
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
CucknShells   Woman 51yrs

What would have happen if she hadn’t said anything? If she just felt it but didn’t say it? Would things have changed? Why does someone telling someone how they feel change anything? Just because someone feels love for someone doesn’t mean they want to run off with them or change what they already have.

The key to any relationship is open and honest communication. Everyone should be treated with respect. You should treat people how you would like to be treated yourself.

Shells
Mar 28, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
time4us4play  

Couple Man 58yrs Woman 56yrs

Boobs or Bust
We did speak with them after this happened.
It was agreed by all to end the friendship.

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