So, It's new years eve and i've managed to drag my cousin (who was visiting from canberra) out for a night on the town. Of the places he could have chosen to go, we ended up at "The Clink" in fremantle.
the place is literally a hole in the ground and the patrons are slightly shady.

The night was wearing on on my cousin was on the dance floor making some good progress with a tidy little blonde girl. I'd found myself a vacant spot at the bar and was trying to blend in while enjoying my overly watered down JD and dry when i was dragged onto the dance floor by a dark haired girl who slightly larger than what i enjoy.

The two of ended up dancing next to my cousin and the blonde girl, and quickly became apparent that my "best mate" had told his new friend where i was so that he could "seal the deal".

Warning bells began to sound when i was quickly introduced to this girls family, who were all at the night club and shortly after, the four of us were in her brothers car heading back to her place. When we got there a massive argument between the dark haired girl and someone inside almost caused me to bail on the situation, but being a team player i persevered.
We eventually found ourselves as couples in different rooms and as i had no doubt my cousin was wasting no time, i went to work myself.

What ensued was the most awkward and unsattisfying ex i've ever had. Not only was i not attracted to the girl in any way, but her "bed" consisted of a couple of sheets laid on the floor and 2 pillows. She was overly intoxicated to the point where she almost threw up on me, and had almost no idea what to do.
I decided to go outside and get some "fresh air" while i weighed my options and gave her time to sober up.
My cousin joined me briefly and i told him of my dilemma, to recieve the response "if you go, I HAVE to go", so i found myself back in the room for another round of unsattisfying, awkward sex of which half through the condom broke... I Pulled out and turned on the light only to find her and me covered in blood.

I threw my clothes on, belted on the door to the room my cousin was in and quickly explained the situation before we high tailed it out of there.
It's still his turn to be my Wing Man and "take one for the team... although the night/morning diddn't end to badly. The two of us caught a cab back to my place so we could have a cook up, but my cousin got of the front seat of the cab, the cab driver went off the deep end. Turns out my cousin had stuffed a used a condom in his back pocket and it had stuck to cabbies Leather seat.... Is till havent let him live that one down.