I Don't Want To Fall For My Friend With Benefits!

Submit Comment
I have awesome sex with the guy I hooked up with online. The next day he said he was happy to see me again as long as we kept it casual. I am okay with that but how do I stop myself falling for him? He made me feel great, took an interest in me, kissed me goodbye really nicely in the morning. Please help as I don’t want to scare him off!
Let’s not beat around the bush. You ARE going to fall for this guy at some point. The question is 'when' and how long can you pretend it’s casual?

So my first question is: do you really want to go there? Having a guy treat you the way he should and kissing you goodbye in the morning should not be something so amazing to you. Be careful not to let low self-esteem and low expectations trap you into believing he is more than he is.

He has already told you where you stand and I am worried you’re going to wake up one day and find that morning kiss gone and your heart broken. But if you insist, here are some tips:

1)   Make a very conscious note of his faults – yes he has them. Find them and let them annoy you just enough to be reminded he is a human not a knight in shining armour!

2)   Actively look for other men – don’t make the mistake of unconsciously switching off your single sign. Attention from other guys will remind you he is not the only fish.

3)   Consciously don’t get involved in too much schmoopie moments – you know, that gazing into each others’ eyes, lying in his arms kinda thing. It stimulates oxytocin, the bonding chemical. Guys lap up this kind of deep connection stuff, but can switch it off in a second.

4)   Don’t get sucked into romance unless he tells you he is open to changing his mind about the status of the relationship.

Please log in to post a comment.
0 Character Count - (Max 1000 Characters)
Post Comment
Posted: Feb, 17 2017
I think we all at some stage fall hard so someone unexpectedly! I was a mess for awhile after and lost confidence along with feelings of self doubt!
Posted: Feb, 06 2017
Men fall just as hard as women and equally women can be just as ruthless as men
Posted: Feb, 05 2017
Very good advice as guys can and do have it like a light switch, we dont form the same bond women do when casual otherwise we are lyin about being casual i think it works both ways and self esteem is most important if you lead aswinger type lifestyle, if at any stage you find yourself emotional or lacking in something emotional ' stop' till your ontrack again, its a very dangerous game if 1 is honest and the other isnt or is not aware of themselves for any reason
Posted: Feb, 02 2017
I agree with Simpleguy22... I've been with guys that say they don't want anything serious, and want to keep it casual, but then change their mind and want it all.
Posted: Feb, 01 2017
Don't play the guys .guys get attached just as much girls do ...
Posted: Feb, 01 2017
Thanks for the tips :)
Posted: Jan, 31 2017
Mmm wish I'd read this before I was stalked!!!...
Note to self... more annoying faults to be promoted!!
Posted: Jan, 31 2017
Perfect answer.
I absolutely agree with all points, and I have just realised I do them all.
The finding faults point is really important. Finding good reasons why you don't want a relationship with a person is a great way to stay disconnected enough to not fall for them.
Also, remind yourself that you are NOT the only woman he does those nice things to/with.
If feelings start to creep in, be honest with yourself and him. Call it quits and delete his number. It can be difficult but it's much better to do it early on than wait until you feel even more for him.
Posted: Jan, 30 2017
Too late for me....but thanks for the tips !!!

Register for free

Username: Password: Confirm Password: Email:

Get social with us

Get our app

© 2001 - 2017 Digital Quarter Pty Ltd - All Rights Reserved
The word RedHotPie and the RedHotPie logo style are trademarks of Digital Quarter Pty Ltd. RSS