Can I leave a stable marriage for a man I don’t trust

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Q - I have been with my husband for 22 years and we went from swingers to an open relationship in the last 8 years.  Recently I met a guy that wants a full relationship with me. No more swinging or rhp just a normal sexy relationship. We do have a strong chemistry in and out of the bedroom and would be so easy to fall in love with him and part of me wants what he is offering. BUT he has a very bad track record with relationships and I just don’t trust him. How can I leave a stable marriage for a man I don’t trust? We have been spending so much time together its already a relationship and makes me feel like I am cheating on my marriage. What do I do?
You already know the answer to your question. STOP. If you continue to see this guy you are going to
end up in a whole world of hurt, divorce, pain and ugly. Not only will your relationship with your husband crumble into a pile of tears and bitterness, but the chances are - going by his record - this new guy will likely leave you when he’s had enough and you’ll wake up one day alone, shell-shocked, wondering what the hell happened to your lovely life.
I have seen this happen literally dozens of times in the swinging world. People getting carried away: not sticking to rules, over stepping the mark and destroying their lives.
Sure, it feels good to fall for someone new. Exciting, sexy, novel but all these feelings are chemically induced at this stage of the relationship. Your brain’s being flushed with feel-good drugs like endorphins and serotonin but they are only temporary.
Let’s have a reality check - novel, feel-good sex is pretty easy to find. Lasting, longterm relationships with people who know you in and out and still want to share their life with you - now that’s rare and should be treated with the utmost respect and care.
You already have the best of both worlds: being able to have casual sex and enjoying the swinger lifestyle, while still having someone safe at home to snuggle. Life’s good!
So, STOP – go cold turkey. Detox from this guy and count your lucky stars that you had the sense to do it before you lost it all.
Cold turkey may sound harsh but it’s the only way. When you allow a swinging partner to get too close or see you too often, it literally rots your core relationship from the inside out. The only way to stop the rot is to cut it off!!
Hope this helps.

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Posted: Mar, 08 2018
every decision always has consequences. in this case, I urge you to stop
Posted: Feb, 24 2018
Walk whilst you can, cool your heals a bit and reaffirm your boundaries before you loose your husband, you can play again when your head is back in the game 👍
Posted: Feb, 14 2018
An open relationship means you technically don't have a relationship or a marriage.
Posted: Feb, 09 2018
In danger of sounding politically correct;
The term "Open relationship" alone screams dangerous territory IMO. It should be changed to "open play" not to blur already twisted lines. Communication, clarity and mutual understanding is crucial yet often fogged by terminology as such.
Posted: Feb, 09 2018
Great advice. You also need to cool it from the lifestyle for a bit because it seems that your boundaries are now blurred. Lack of clear boundaries = disaster.
Posted: Feb, 08 2018
My ex did the same thing with a 35 yo. But kicked me out instead
Posted: Feb, 08 2018
You already know the answer you answered it yourself.
If you still love your husband and he you why have someone break that love. Sex is fun but longterm relationships are so much different to that, you have good and bad times but together which gets you both through.
Posted: Feb, 08 2018
Wonderful advice, take note and trust your instinct!!
Posted: Feb, 08 2018
Good advice👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Posted: Feb, 08 2018
Great advice, if you choose to chase a short term desire you are a fool and deserve the loneliness that is coming your way. Accept the sound advice, save your marriage and move forward together like you should.
Posted: Feb, 08 2018
Good answer. Cut the flapping sails from your jib, lassy.
Posted: Feb, 08 2018
Personally. I'm stunned that you ever consider someone else. Like the advice wrote "You already have the best of both worlds: being able to have casual sex and enjoying the swinger lifestyle, while still having someone safe at home to snuggle. Life’s good!"

Posted: Feb, 08 2018
Great advice

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