2008 wrap up - life, love and lust

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Let’s start this month with the most important part of any New Year, our what’s hot and what’s not in 2009...
Let’s start this month with the most important part of any New Year, our what’s hot and what’s not in 2009 list.

OUT – Kissing on the first date: premature tonsil hockey is so Lindsay Lohan last year. This year anticipaaaaaaaaaaaaation is back sending shivers down our spines in 2009.

IN – Playing romantic and building up the tension: nothing like a little retro dating to saturate your head with horny hormones and build up passion till you pop.

OUT - Cheesy dating courses that teach guys lines to get women into bed: isn’t that what alcohol is for, and does the world really needs more charming jerks?

IN – Women’s courses that teach us gals why guys do the dumb things they do: let’s face it boys you need all the help you can get. A must for any gal who plans on dating a bloke and being happy at the same time.

OUT – Skimpy women’s clothing like short shorts, crop tops and no undies: put it away and they’ll want to unwrap it that much more.

IN – Easy access clothing like mini caftans, light dresses and no bra’s: fresh n frisky makes you feel as good as you look, in both senses of the word.

OUT – Guys who flash the cash to make up for their lack of personality: it’s credit crunch time fellas! You can’t hide forever so its time to take a lesson from Pinocchio and learn how to become a real boy!

IN – Guys who cook for you at their home and spend money on a great wine and exotic ingredients: a guy who goes that extra mile in the kitchen will go an extra two in bed.

OUT – Porn and cheesy sex toys: seen it all before. Surely they must be running out of body parts, household items and places to put them.

IN – Nuevo Nudism and dirty art house foreign films: gotta love those kinky Europeans, their penchant for nudity and uncanny ability to make anything erotic.

OUT – Text sex: seriously omg wts th point lol!

IN – Cam’sterbation: pervy and personal yet detached and delightfully debauched.

OUT – Nightclub nookie: done to death. Yes you know who you are!

IN – Dirty Day dates: so many more hours to enjoy getting down with the ladies and lads who love a long lunch with benefits.

OUT – Putting down others who have a more adventurous sex life than you: I never figured how living ‘less’ life made people feel more superior? Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

IN – Plucking up the courage to find out what you’ve been missing: sin is IN

OUT – Meaningless sex: do it coz you want to!

IN - Meaningless sex with hot horny strangers whose name you have forgotten: do it coz you love it.

OUT – Happy ever after fairytale style – Reality check – Leave the self delusion to the Hollywood set. At least they get paid to be miserable and make train wrecks of their relationships.

IN – Happy ever after RHP style: great relationships are a choice you make not a birth right other people give you so live, love and enjoy, It’s your choice.

Are you any the wiser? Probably not, so let’s get down to our New Year’s resolutions.

Confessions

So what are you going to do this year? Same/same or different?

Did you know that almost every single cell you had in your body this time last year has been replaced with new ones by now? Technically you are already literally a whole new you!

Well Geoff and I thought that since we have all become such good friends over the past year you should pop over for dinner so we can have a chat about your future and how to make 2009 sublime.

Ok perhaps a quiet drink would be better since there are now almost a million of you, but we do want to share with you some personal pearls of wisdom both of us have decided to implement to improve our lives, loves and relationships this coming year. Hopefully we can inspire you to do the same.

Do it with your heart

Well the first major New Years decision we made is ‘no more working for the man’. I don’t mean giving up our jobs, we love doing what we do, I mean no more stuck in the rut doing things we don’t like because we feel we have to, or in order to fit in.

It’s so easy to get caught up in a job, behaviour or relationship you don’t like and forget there are a million other ways to get your needs met.

Truth is: who said you have to do what you do, the way you do it every day? Who said you have to date one person or get married, play nasty, play nice, keep up with the Jones' or bust your balls trying. It’s your life, so stop worrying about what other people think and live it for what you love.

The great thing Geoff and I have found out recently about living life like this is that even if the choices you make end up sucking, you ALWAYS have the satisfaction of knowing it was your choice not someone else screwing with your life. That means the lessons you learn are always 100% for you, rather than thrust upon you by some other idiots failings.

There are millions of great ways to ‘get’ what you need from love and life. Unfortunately most of us never experience them because we keep choosing the same ones over and over again!

So take a chance and make a new choice. There are thousands to start with on RHP alone.

• Revel in making new decisions and different choices in your life: make it into a game and drive your mates or partner nuts. They’ll love you for it in the end.

• Focus on listening to your intuition not your head: studies show we are better at making decisions when we think less with our heads (yes guys, that’s both of them) and act more from gut feeling.

• Don’t force anything: just ‘accept’, then move on and look for the next door, regrets are so last season!

Four fingers pointing back

Another thing we noticed was that most of the people who came to see us for one on one relationship consultations really only had one thing wrong with their relationships.

Yep through all the he said/she said crap, the single most basic fact was that every one of them thought they were right! Funny that.

Think about this carefully now. Every time you expect someone to do something your way, play by your rules or follow your idea of what a relationship should be like, you are asking them to sacrifice what they believe, their ideas and their rules, just to please you!

Seems reasonable I hear you say!! After all isn’t it all about me? So who’s really right?

All it comes down to at the end of the day is whether you are having a relationship with a set of rules or a relationship with a real living, loving person with all their own history, memories, values, likes, dislikes, hopes, fears, annoyances, nasty and nice – Just like you!

If you answered ‘rules’ then good luck finding happiness, you’re going to be sorely disappointed!

If you answered ‘a person’ then the great news is it’s much easier to change your outlook and expectations than it is to change theirs. Of course if you think ‘why should I change what I believe for them’ then remember they have the right to think the same back. And lets be honest this kind of attitude is hardly stimulating amorous emotions between the two of you.

So what’s the solution? Great sex. No seriously, simply focus on the things that you DO love and appreciate about them.

Also think about what is really important to you and don’t argue trivial points. That way when you do point something out, they know you mean it.

Of course if they still don’t get it then you know one thing for sure: they don’t share your values. So either change how you see things or find someone who agrees with you, just don’t stay there whinging and nagging. You may get your way one day but at what price to their affection for you

• Don’t kid yourself, people don’t bend to your will, they bend theirs and begrudge yours.

• If you can’t change how you see the situation, don’t expect them to either. When was the last time you fell in love with a nag!

• Relationships are with people not check lists. No two people are the same so focus on what you both love and do to better each others lives, rather than zeroing in on what you both dislike or what annoys you.

Lust’s a must

We are hoping 2009 is going to be a huge year. Lots of new books and a new TV show, but for all you busy people out there with us fighting the credit crunch it’s easy to get caught up in work and simply forget about feeling sexy! When under financial stress, trying to get ahead or just living a busy life our sexual signals are often the first thing we put on hold.

Big mistake. Expressing our sexy selves and particularly Sex is the best stress release of all and your body invites you to feel frisky for a reason. Every time you ignore it, or worse, link sexual thoughts or behaviours with distractions or feeling dirty, you are sending a message directly to your brain to shut up!

If you have ever wondered why the little blue pill, desperate housewives or porn are so popular it’s because we spend most of our lives shutting off our natural turn-on’s. So when it comes time and we want a little R n R it’s just not the same. We have dulled the signal to our brain and need help to enhance nature’s thrills with these time manageable substitutes.

Now of course I’m not suggesting we all instantly drop our draws the moment the mood takes us. But think about it boys and girls. How many times have you said ‘no’ when you meant ‘yes’. How many times has the trivial task trumped the passionate possibility simply because you were too busy, too tired, too distracted, too scared or too shy to get it on.

This year we have decided to let nature be our guide, enjoying the flush of foreplay or fantasy in the moment whenever possible. Or at very least filing it lovingly for later rather than just ignoring it and hoping it goes away.

Your brain won’t fight you forever people. Eventually it will just give up and leave you to reminisce about the good old days while you sip tea and get off on watching the bargains on The Price is Right. Scary thought huh!

So let’s redefine in 2009

Re define – What we want from our life

Re define – Who we want to be over the next year

Re define – The kind of relationship and love lives we want

Remember this time next year you will be an entirely different person again cells, brain, experiences, love, life n all. So now is the time to set in motion exactly who that is going to be and how you’re going to feel. In the mean time you might want to give all those virginal new cells a break by joining us in a little New Year detox. HAPPY NEW YEAR


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