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People may have come across the term polyamory in their travels through the world of adult relationships and...
Alison Cox | May 25 2006
Spreading the Love: Polyamory
People may have come across the term polyamory in their travels through the world of adult relationships and sexuality, but very few may understand the true nature of what polyamory implies. Literally meaning ’many loves’, polyamory has become a lifestyle choice for many couples and singles around the world. Indeed, we’ve noticed a number of RHP members who have described themselves as polyamorists and perhaps it’s a trend that will continue to become more prevalent as our society becomes more open to relationships that are not based on the traditional model of monogamy.
Polyamory is often misconstrued as a form of swinging but true polyamorists would certainly argue that this is not the case at all. Whereas the focus of swinging is recreational sex between couples who are otherwise in committed, monogamous relationships, the focus of polyamory is developing a deep and committed relationship with more than one person. Also, unlike in an open relationship, a polyamorist does not generally have a primary partner and treats each significant other equally. Polyamory requires an environment of trust and honesty where all parties are fully aware of the existence of the others. For example, if a person cannot attend a social function with both partners, then that person is not in a polyamorous relationship.
So what is the advantage of being in a polyamory relationship over being a swinger or being in an open relationship? Firstly, as mentioned previously, polyamory is not just about sex. For people who have felt that they could have a strong emotional attachment to more than one person, this form of human connection can provide an avenue to spread the love further. In turn, you would have more than one significant other that loves and cares for you which may satisfy the sort of personality that thrives on affection. Whereas swinging and open relationships highlight the physical need for people to play outside the boundary of their otherwise monogamous relationship, polyamory caters to the emotional need, or desire, to accept multiple partners. In a polyamorous relationship, whether sex is had by all parties is immaterial.On the other hand, even the most seasoned swinger would probably balk at the idea of allowing an emotional connection to transpire between his or her partner and another person.
In the world of swinging, anything goes sexually but the slightest hint of misguided intimacy can cause major rifts between couples. Polyamorous couples experience no such problems with intimacy provided all parties are honest with one another. Therefore, perhaps polyamory is the ultimate level of sharing, giving love freely and existing without jealousy.Is polyamory for you though? If you’re currently in a traditional, monogamous relationship and cannot imagine forming an intimate relationship with another person, and allow your partner to do the same, then probably not. While most people can grasp the concept of separating love and sex, and many can happily engage in the swinging lifestyle, polyamory does require a completely different mindset.
Our society does still view monogamy, at least on the emotional level, as being the norm, and indeed some people may perceive polyamory as being too radical or ’hippy’ to contemplate as a mainstream lifestyle choice. In fact though, polyamory is practiced by people from all walks of life. Some may view polyamory as irresponsible and merely an attempt at having your cake and eating it. In fact, being polyamorous requires an extraordinary ability to be selfless, which is probably the main reason why our increasingly ’me’ oriented society can’t readily grasp this concept. It’s certainly food for thought.
Polyamory is often misconstrued as a form of swinging but true polyamorists would certainly argue that this is not the case at all. Whereas the focus of swinging is recreational sex between couples who are otherwise in committed, monogamous relationships, the focus of polyamory is developing a deep and committed relationship with more than one person. Also, unlike in an open relationship, a polyamorist does not generally have a primary partner and treats each significant other equally. Polyamory requires an environment of trust and honesty where all parties are fully aware of the existence of the others. For example, if a person cannot attend a social function with both partners, then that person is not in a polyamorous relationship.
So what is the advantage of being in a polyamory relationship over being a swinger or being in an open relationship? Firstly, as mentioned previously, polyamory is not just about sex. For people who have felt that they could have a strong emotional attachment to more than one person, this form of human connection can provide an avenue to spread the love further. In turn, you would have more than one significant other that loves and cares for you which may satisfy the sort of personality that thrives on affection. Whereas swinging and open relationships highlight the physical need for people to play outside the boundary of their otherwise monogamous relationship, polyamory caters to the emotional need, or desire, to accept multiple partners. In a polyamorous relationship, whether sex is had by all parties is immaterial.On the other hand, even the most seasoned swinger would probably balk at the idea of allowing an emotional connection to transpire between his or her partner and another person.
In the world of swinging, anything goes sexually but the slightest hint of misguided intimacy can cause major rifts between couples. Polyamorous couples experience no such problems with intimacy provided all parties are honest with one another. Therefore, perhaps polyamory is the ultimate level of sharing, giving love freely and existing without jealousy.Is polyamory for you though? If you’re currently in a traditional, monogamous relationship and cannot imagine forming an intimate relationship with another person, and allow your partner to do the same, then probably not. While most people can grasp the concept of separating love and sex, and many can happily engage in the swinging lifestyle, polyamory does require a completely different mindset.
Our society does still view monogamy, at least on the emotional level, as being the norm, and indeed some people may perceive polyamory as being too radical or ’hippy’ to contemplate as a mainstream lifestyle choice. In fact though, polyamory is practiced by people from all walks of life. Some may view polyamory as irresponsible and merely an attempt at having your cake and eating it. In fact, being polyamorous requires an extraordinary ability to be selfless, which is probably the main reason why our increasingly ’me’ oriented society can’t readily grasp this concept. It’s certainly food for thought.
