How to nail your first date

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How to set the mood for intimacy on the first date....

I can hear you cringing already…

“Oh god, not another first date article. This is the 20th one I’ve read online this week.”

I’m right there with you. I’m tired of seeing generic first date tips such as “be positive, be yourself, and be nice to the wait staff.”

You met on RHP, so what you’re most likely looking for is how to set the mood for what’s to come next …

Let’s talk about some actually useful tips for a first date.

Get closer

There are different levels of personal space. As you get physically closer to someone, it feels more and more intimate for the both of you. When a woman accepts you being in her close, personal space, she will subconsciously feel more comfortable around you. That comfort then paves the way for attraction.

Sit next to her at dinner or drinks rather than across the table. Whenever you’re sitting together (on a bench, on the ground, in a cab) position yourself so that your bodies are touching or nearly touching.

The worst thing you can do is maintain an awkward distance from her. This can actually cause feelings of unfamiliarity and defensiveness.

If you treat her like a stranger, she’s going to feel like a stranger.

Stop trying to prove yourself

So you’ve got a date with a beautiful woman. You’re thinking, “How do I win her over? How do I convince her I’m good enough? How do I not fuck this up?”

If that’s your thought process, you’ve already lost. Your desperate mindset will be painfully obvious: you’ll be timid, put her on a pedestal, and pay her excessive compliments.

Keep in mind that she's also on RHP, and she chose to go on a date with you, so she’s already open to being romantic.

Your mindset should be:

“Who is she? What does she like? What are her fantasies? Is she worth my time, energy, and investment?”

This involves speaking less and listening more. Slow down. Let her do most of the talking and take the pressure off of yourself. Ask more direct questions that help you screen for the qualities you desire in a woman.

Use the environment to your advantage

Don’t just go for dinner or coffee because it’s “what people do”. In fact, those venues can be a sure way to put you in the friend zone.

Do something you’ll actually enjoy and that helps the date go smoothly. Bonus points if it’s a shared commonality.

You should pick something that creates a sense of fun or adventure. Anything that makes you laugh or generates positive emotions will alleviate nervous tension.

Examples: arcade, go-karts, dancing, comedy show

Move with her

You want to lead a woman on an experience with you throughout the date. Don't start and end the date in the same venue.

There are three important reasons for changing venues. It…

1. Creates a memorable adventure. Different settings and activities makes it feel like you spent more time together than you actually did. She’s also more likely to remember this special journey with you.

2. Gets her to invest in you. We place a higher value on things we invest in. If she accepts your lead, she’ll feel more trusting and comfortable with you.

3. Allows for more privacy and intimacy. You’re probably not going to kiss her or talk about personal subjects at the coffee club with 20 people around.

Have her accept her feelings for you

You’re on a DATE with a girl and you want a romantic connection, right? For that to happen, the girl needs to accept you as a potential intimate partner. She needs to admit to you and to herself that she sees you that way.

Do this by getting her to show interest in you or return your flirtatious advances. This can be though spoken or non-spoken cues. But you need to lead it there by flirting first.

Give her a seductive look. Prolonged eye contact, devilish smirks, and biting your lip show your intentions. If she returns these non-verbal cues, it’s on.

Pay her a bold compliment. Saying something like, “Are you always this cute?” or “I think it’s sexy you’re so dedicated to your career.”  If she accepts them or returns a compliment, “Yeah, are you always that handsome in a polo?” or “Well I think it’s sexy you just said that.”, she’s returning that interest.

Roleplaying and discussing the future (playfully). Making lighthearted statements about you two being together after the date can cement things in her mind. This also removes the feeling of you as strangers. You can jokingly talk about your upcoming vacation plans together, her being your new legal secretary, or even getting married in Vegas.

Get into more intimate topics. When she’s talking about sex with you, that means she’s thinking about sex – maybe with you. Don’t be afraid to ask more forward questions.

You can segue into it with, “Now that we’ve been getting to know each other, tell me something I don’t know…” Or “It may be the drinks but I want to ask you something personal.” Then you go into, “So what do you find most attractive in a man?” or “What’s something that secretly turns you on?”

Accuse her of liking you. “Aww, you must really like me…” Or “You’re definitely hitting on me right now.” She’s into you if she responds with something like, “Maybe I do ;)” Or “Only a little.”

However, one of the most concrete ways to secure her interest in you is…

Go for a kiss, damn it — sometimes twice

This one point will greatly influence your success rate. The kiss is the gateway for a wild night. Check out my article about how to be a great kisser.

Create physical contact early and often. If she’s receptive (positive, smiling, still engaged in conversation) increase the intimacy of the touches.

If you’ve made it at least halfway through a date and she’s still having fun – assume she’s ready for a kiss. You don’t need to wait for a blatant signal because most women will never give it to you. And please don’t wait until the very last minute, it will spoil the surprise.

You can do this anywhere. While sitting next to her, while standing together, or even while walking. Here’s how…

Wherever you are, stop talking. You can even get her attention by softly saying, “Come here” or “Sshhh…” Look her deep in the eyes for a few seconds. You want her to gaze back into yours.

Then either step towards her or bring her into you. Pull her in by the hand or by the waist. Move in slowly and kiss her.

Don’t rush any of this. Take your time. Looking into her eyes and moving in slowly lets her realize you’re going in for a kiss. It gives her a chance to accept or deny your advance.

If you get a positive response, the romantic barrier is broken. You can keep kissing her periodically throughout the date and see where things go. With a strong negative response, you shouldn’t try to kiss her again – at least on this date.

Follow these tips and you have high chance of nailing your first DateFinder date, and any future dates you make on RHP.

Author's Corner

Christina Miller
203 articles

Writing interesting pieces about sex, the lifestyle and the different aspects of human sexuality is a challenge that Christina will endeavour to take. When she’s not blogging, she loves to exercise, watch movies and go to the beach whenever she can.

Copyright @ 2018 RedHotPie. Please read RedHotPie Article disclaimer.
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Posted: Mar, 23 2018
Sexnow we'll do Endy think ones come on there do it txt 0416754120
Posted: Aug, 16 2017
Enythib up to the lady great point but usually for a man to think that he is ok to make a move without a law suit is important as anything give a guy a half an idea and he wil, continue from there trust me wher all painted with the same brush
Posted: Aug, 12 2017
Find a common interest and if the chemistry is there don't hold back
Posted: Apr, 18 2017
Just be confident no beg no past no future. Just be present. No phone. X mam and Paul
Posted: Mar, 03 2017
If you have to put up with all this, tell her to jog on and find a real person thats not living in princess land.
Posted: Mar, 03 2017
Lol its all about boys having to beg girls for attention. How very stereotypical. Guys I'd recommend just stop believing this presupposition. A confident person is a sexy person that can pick up regardless of gender, age ,sexual persuasion and to a certain extent looks are not so important.
Posted: Mar, 01 2017
I ready to play when you are
Posted: Mar, 01 2017
^^^^^ Yeeeesssss 😍
Posted: Feb, 26 2017
Just meeting up for coffee is a good first date

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