pet peeves 😕 re online hookups and dating

pet peeves 😕 re online hookups and dating

    | Apr 16, 2017
I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs
Hi. So I have my pet peeves when going through the process of searching for new lovers. What are yours? I'd like this to be fairly light hearted and ask that we all grow a set lol because some of the criticisms will very likely pertain to our good selves 😉 so let's not take offence, respect others opinions where possible (yes I know I'm not perfect there, some things need to be challenged and that's fine, healthy discussion) and no digs at fellow forumites please.


So that said, what do you find frustrating or what have you found frustrating during your time here or on other dating/hookup sites, or to be politically correct, social networking sites. Also be good if you could share your thoughts on your progression, your growth/evolution, how have you changed and/or changed the way you approach others. Have your preferences changed and how so?


Now I'm off to put my big girl pants on, over to you 😉
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ElkeM   Woman 47yrs

Hmmm...

Dating sites - this one and other more vanilla sites - don't work for me simply because I'm way too lazy and introverted to put in the effort to make it successful. Took me a while to figure that out and now that I have, RHP is the only site I'm on (and that's only because I'm a forum addict). Regardless, my peeve is people who don't read profiles. I do make clear that I'm not looking to meet anyone and that I won't generally respond to messages, but I still get around 3-4 a day.
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ChasinMidnight   Man 53yrs

Really really long posts...

...in the forums that could be inexorably economized and profiles with more barriers than the beach at Normandy.

Oh yeah and using a propensity of exorbitant verbiage!

Short form...no matter what you say or how you say it, you're bound to piss off somebody no matter how hard (or not) you try!

.......best, CM
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ElkeM   Woman 47yrs

Oops!

Forgot to answer the second part of your post OP about my own progression etc.
I've learnt to be open minded;
Ive learnt that words can easily be misconstrued, and that something said in 'innocence' can hurt;
I've learnt to stand up for myself, and for others too where required;
I've learnt that the RHP forum community is full of wonderful, compassionate people who will pick you up when you need it;
I've learnt to be more tolerant of people;
I've learnt to have a disagreement with someone and move on when its over, instead of holding a grudge;
I've learnt that you can never know someone's full story, so don't be too quick to judge;
There's so much more that I could list, but those are the key points. And I've taken everything that I've learnt here and applied to my day to day life... I like to think I'm a better person for it, thanks to all of you.

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PurePeony   Woman 42yrs

Chemistry is hard to gauge

One of my pet peeves is meeting someone who seems to tick all the right boxes online. After exchanging msgs, you decide to meet and the chemistry just isn't there, which can make it awkward because of all the build-up you've both experienced in the msgs.



Worse, you discover that the guys have used old photos and they look nothing like the photos they have shared with you.



On several occasions, I've met guys who aren't that much taller than me despite knowing that I really really love tall men. I just do, can't help it. When I meet them and the reality of the height thing and if they are also smaller in physical build, I find it really hard to be excited. I've given guys like that chances - I told myself, "PP don't be so shallow and overlook these physical attributes!" But it just doesn't work for me and I no longer pretend that it's going to work... too much hard work pretending.



So now, upfront, I go for tall men, big dicks. Can't help being a height whore and size slut! =D
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SoftandCurious   Woman 38yrs

Like Elke

Pet peeve is men not reading my profile - getting messages for hookups during the times I've put up no messages or flirts or having a break, saying they want the whole package but only want to swap photos - not talk, want to meet after the first message and then get cranky when I say they haven't read my profile.

Growth/progression? Gained more confidence within myself, changed some of my sexual preferences and preferences for potential partners, found my tribe - the people I can be completely myself with, and I've become even more accepting of others' sexual preferences and what makes them who they are. I thought I was completely tolerant before, but I've gained a better insight and more compassion for everyone.
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xxticklishxx   Woman 52yrs

Yes. Really long forum posts.

And like Purepeony the disappointment when the chemistry isn't there after enjoying the messaging.

The biggest peeve I have is men (not saying people because I am only interested in men) not having face pics on this site. They don't have to be in the public gallery. But if I look at a profile and there are no pics or face pics in the public gallery and no pics at all in the private galleries I know it's going to be a waste of time. I have heard all the stories about how they have to protect their identity for work or other reasons and I no longer care. I just feel if they are that worried they shouldn't be online at all.

Whoops, almost turning into a long post 😉
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Fit_Geek   Man 43yrs

A wrong state of .. body

Now I've stumbled over the forums recently, I'll put peeve number one as the bulk of interesting ladies (one's beyond pictures and a profile) are in another state to me. Boo.

I've others. I like a profile that isn't a template, but almost as hard to get through are one's that by the time you finish them, you've had another birthday pass you by. A nice middle ground, is my favourite.

There's the superficial one of (very) generous self ratings that don't match pictures. These don't bother me for the expected reason (i.e. he's just chasing the sexy booty), but the deception - either of others, or of oneself. Neither bode well for honesty, which I take as an essential in any potential meet up.

And like xxtichlissxx the missing face pics. Or the missing pics in general. RHP don't fool anyone with all the dead photoless profiles hanging around. They just shit me (and I'm sure a lot of both genders). Photoless profiles, with no log on's within 30 days (that aren't paid memberships) should be auto-deleted.
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inspirit   Woman 53yrs

RHP

Inches ...


Just Sayin 😂

- Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit   Woman 53yrs

...... and

Really long posts. My attention span just doesn't cope theses days.

Oh and....... if I've had a drink or 3 (light weight) and messaging someone and send a pic of my huge tits. Hate that shit.


😂😂😂


- Posted from rhpmobile
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ElkeM   Woman 47yrs

Forgot

Forgot about the chemistry thing as PurePeony & xxticklishxx both mentioned. It's hard to gauge via messages/texts or other mediums, including over the phone. Although having a phone conversation before meeting is a useful exercise.

I recently got myself into a potentially tricky situation with someone I work with. He's over east, but we have a lot of work related interaction. There was a fair amount of bantering to start off with... at first via e-mail, then via communicator and then via text. Interactions became intensely personal and the chemistry was amazing. A couple of weeks ago, he had to come to my site for work. I was terrified that the chemistry wouldn't be there when we met, and it could have been very awkward if that was the case. Luckily, it turned out ok 😊
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PurePeony   Woman 42yrs

Me, of the Long Posts Notoriety

I do write very long posts sometimes. I just type as my thoughts flow and sometimes it's multiple things at once. I forget about constraints when I'm writing.

The thing is, I'm withdrawn IRL unless I trust someone and am comfortable with him/her/them. Otherwise, I clam up.

I don't see what's wrong with long posts though - just don't read it, for goodness' sakes. It isn't that hard to ignore. I have learnt to ignore the one or two people whom I find antagonistic and it has made me happier because I no longer waste my precious leisure time reading things that aren't constructive nor smart nor positive nor particularly enlightening. I've kept it simple - I'm here for the few people I have grown fond of; I am here to deliberately introduce different perspectives on issues although that gets me hated and ridiculed but hey, how boring if everyone sings the same tune and those who dare to sing different tunes are silenced, eh?; and I'm here on days when I feel too unwell or simply too tired after work to head out or participate in social gatherings IRL.

Too many things happening at once IRL. Anything / anyone that's an energy vampire... OUT!

Most importantly, I'm here to check out the men and to see if I just might bump into one that I can connect with in here.

OP, I apologise if my post has been irrelevant. Great topic.



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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

thanks

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, honest, good to hear how the experience is for others. It's not easy for me anymore, and almost feel like I'm getting stage fright, which is not like me, just haven't been meeting many guys and what do they say, use it or lose it 😀
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Pet Peeve

Well I am a newbie and not sure what to expect. I am disappointed that I have not meet anybody in 7 weeks. Is this unrealistic ? In life and other vanilla dating sites I have been on I have not had any problems attracting the fairer sex. I have been making a reasonable effort in trying to be creative and have some witt in my messages to make them interesting.
I consider myself to be reasonably attractive and enjoy being fit and healthy.

I have had a few conversations from my msg's but it ends there, so I must be doing something wrong. Is it my photos or something in my profile? or maybe I am unrealistic and need to manage my hopes and harness my ego.

Ultimately I am cool with it but curious to know why. I am being authentic with my msg's not trying to be anyone I am not.

It could be just the competition here is really hot. Do Ladies msg many Men or do you just filter and respond to your msg's.

One factor could be where I live (an hour out of city) but I am happy to drive for the right person.
I am a patient person and just trying to figure out the next chapter of my story.

What do people think? How long has it taken others to meet someone?

Cheers
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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

elke

I share a lot of your thoughts, nice post. And if I can pluck one important thing from it, moving on. I have also learnt to do that. I go into a new topic afresh, and on that note, anyone I've had issues with, please come in and share your thoughts if you'd like to. I am a bit of a keyboard warrior, self confessed, always have been blunt, all my life, tact has never come naturally lol bit I don't harbour bad feelings for people, new topic, new day, coffee, all good 👍 you're very welcome to contribute here if you'd like to 😃
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ElkeM   Woman 47yrs

Long Posts

Mixed feelings about these. Sometimes posts are tl;dr simply because I don't have the time. And sometimes I like longer posts because I get an insight into the poster that I may not have gleaned otherwise.

I am guilty of long posts... like PurePeony, I'm fairly restrained IRL and don't open up unless I know people well. It's a different ball game when I'm writing though, so I can tend to bang on a bit.
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xxticklishxx   Woman 52yrs

Pure and Elk

I like your posts. Even if they are a bit long sometimes they are still a good read. But there are some people that have posts that go on and on and seem to go off track.

Back on topic.

Another pet peeve is friend requests from people I have had no interaction with. Sorry but I am not your friend so eff off. I now think you are a dick for doing that.
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ElkeM   Woman 47yrs

ITM2

Yes, you are a keyboard warrior... no doubt about that. And yes, there have been times when you have enraged me with things that you've said, and we've had words. There have even been times when you are my pet peeve on here lol.

But for every post of yours that has enraged me, there have been many more that have had me nodding in agreement, or laughing out loud where that was your intention, or wishing I could be more open to adventure like you are. I have also watched you shake it off like Taylor Swift... water off a duck's back. So you have definitely played a part in my learning to move on, and I'm grateful for it. These days, if I find a particular post of yours too long or too harsh, I simply don't read it... I know that you do the same with mine, which is as it should be.

Much love,
Elke xx
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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

spiritcurious

Well I just checked out your profile and I'm shocked you haven't had any luck. Great profile. You look amazing and your written part is great. If you were closer, I'd be hitting you up 😉
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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

Elke

Thanks and understood, I'm very aware much of my ramlings would either grind gears lol or put people to sleep, I carry on regardless 😂😂😂 I've really warmed to you in the time we've been here, admire your forgiving nature, and love reading your posts 😀
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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

oops

Ramblings 😊

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