The Adonis Syndrome

The Adonis Syndrome

    | Dec 25, 2016
redhot666   Woman 52yrs
Ladies,

It appears that many of the ladies are looking for their 'Adonis' here, but how realistic are your expectations ? I have found in my experience that there are many genuine, sweet and lovely men on site that are more the complete package, with their manners, generousity of spirit and time and other attributes that are what we would appreciate more than their looks and six-packs. However, these men are pretty much always overlooked. Why ? Why are the many great guys being overlooked by the ladies on site ? When will you ever meet some of those men waiting in the wings for a lovel time with you ?
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AnnieWhichway   TV/CD 54yrs

To me

The OP reads like Tall wrote it about himself. Not saying it wasn't Redhots idea originally.

I like Redhots style. It's her. But l also like her learning thee skills. Just maybe next time less Tall? Just saying so no need to getting antsy with me.

Back on topic.

Just like normal life, how often does it happen that 2 people that know each other take a long time to realise that the perfect match is there in their life already?

A matter of clearing the dead wood out to see the bloomers. Just a pity this place is a timber mill........
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sweetgem   Woman 38yrs

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder 😊

Honestly, who doesn't like the pretty sight of things and people, at the first glance? We all do and we all have done so on both humans and objects, at some point in life 😊 But what stands out for one doesn't necessarily work the same for the others because, we all like different traits in men and that's the core reason to the "why" in your question about why some women would overlook those great men you that have described!

For me, and I am going to be very honest, which may come across as blunt or superficial, and you might take it however you interpret it, but that's purely your interpretation :)......for me, self confidence does play a big part in the way I select my partner. I am no Jessica Alba in terms of body shape, but I know I am not ugly looking either, and I have the curves that some men would appreciate/like, plus I know what my strengths are and what skills I have to operate as a person. Self confidence gives me strength to pick the best for me and only me can be the judge to say what's best for me!

Therefore, when it comes to selecting a partner (casual or serious), looks do play a part in the first instance. But looks aren't the only trait that I look for in a man initially. It depends on where I meet the man too. If I meet him online, his writing skill is one of the vital attractions that attracts me to wanting to get to know him. If I meet him in real world, the way he speaks will either be attractive or deal breaker. Take my current partner as an example. His physical appearance isn't what I would usually like, but I met him online and his writing skill attracted me to him enormously instantly! So I replied, we met in person fairly quickly and the chemistry has grown stronger and stronger each day since that day three years ago! And now we are in a proper dating relationship rather than a FWB relationship. Why? Because attraction and beauty are in the eyes of the behold :)

I live by the motto of: things do happen for a reason. And I believe, in life, we won't be so clever at all times that we won't miss out on something good. So be it if I overlooked a great man in an average looking suits, it's just not meant to be and we are not destined to cross path with each other. Therefore, redhot666, no need to feel sorry for those great men, as they will meet their destined friends or soulmates, when their time comes :) just like you and Tall :)

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Tall_n_Hard   Man 60yrs

Just to further impress....




Upon the doubters - the subject was definitely thought and originated by said OP. Redhot did not quite know how to fully word the subject to her satisfaction, and asked me for assistance with the way she would like it to have bee brought on line. There were no ideas exchanged - just trying to put her ideas into words. The overall wording was fully vetted by the OP and changed where requested. Yes, it appears in my style as it was done with my assistance - but as the OP has noted she is still learning her written skills and at times seeks assistance with those matters. As a friend I am happy to oblige. Redhot will always be happy to write in her own fashion in the forums, and that will always be recognizable. But please understand that when it does not appear to be her on occasion, it is because she is not shy to ask for assistance with someone whom she trusts fully.


As you all know well by now I am quite capable of putting my own subjects forward, and do not require anyone else to speak for me. Please show appropriate respect on both instances.


Tall

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PatchworkGirl   Woman 42yrs

I agree Q and Summer

I often find the Adonis types a bit of a turn off. I've not met with any, admittedly, because I've not found any of ehose who message me to be engaging conversationalists, and a guy needs to catch my intereat personally, intellectually and emotionally before I get swayed by how good the rig is.
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PatchworkGirl   Woman 42yrs

Tall

I appreciate that Redhot felt comfortable enough to approach you for help, and that's wonderful. However, given the contexts of the forums, where people are often posing as others in order to troll or gain points in an argument, I'm sure you can appreciate the suspicions. It's not about a lack of respect, but about recognising a post that didn't seem to be written in the authentic voice of someone many of us have come to recognise. I'm sure it wasn't intended as an offence, but rather an understandable query.
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PeachyPearL   Woman 53yrs

Tall and Red are friendly

I took it on in my positive rather than negative way that Red had been talking with Tall and as a result this raised questions for her that she then decided to ask here. No 'dick' work needed.



It's great too see you growing Red. xox



A lot of people questioned my choice of Mr P way back when but it was his heart I loved and still do love that he brings out strengths in me I'd not had reason to have faith in. I was too scared to catch a ball when I met him, and have a lot of fun when my throw hits the bin or whatever nowadays, lol.



Throwing rubbish into bins even when out shopping is one thing Mr P does, and picks up the rubbish and puts it in there if he misses. I love his way and the way he makes me laugh. He is a decent man who cares more for me than anything in the whole world. That is humbling.



He gets a lot of interest from women these days... much younger women... so glad I trusted him. My Adonis.



Peachy
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Mister_Playful  

Man 40yrs

DeepestPurple

I personally disagree with your thinking on a few counts, except for the first point that it isn't a choice between fit/healthy and nice/genuine/interesting. I agree with that one because we have different attributes. Some seem to have it all, the whole package, smart, funny, nice body, money to spend, maybe these people are time poor because they spend all their time on those things and have little time left for family or loved ones?

Others would like to have gym time but have kiddies to look after and unfortunately don't have enough me time left, after spending their time pleasing others. You are right that there are many variables, and the post here is considering that.

Despite my appearances in my profile photo, I wouldn't consider myself fit or healthy, with the shit I eat and drink, and I'm also a smoker, but I'd challenge you that I'm just as mentally and emotionally stable as you.

Body builders, well that to me shows focus rather than any imbalance, they are just people too. The lovely MrsPlayful has had the pleasure of meeting one more than once and by all accounts we was a fine young gentleman and a well rounded person. He is now engaged to marry last I heard.

On the counter side to your argument, are you saying that all the nice men and women here who are not necessarily as fit or healthy as some are not emotionally or mentally well rounded? I find that hard to believe and if you considered the population in general in and out of rhp I think you'd find that to be incorrect. Friends, family, work colleagues.. I assume you know some great people who are not as fit as you.



Your last point, I won't bother going into that except to say it has more to do with my mind than how much exercise I have had. Sure, exercise may help you feel refreshed and arouse your mind, but there's many better things to assist with that, like meeting someone you've genuinely connected with.
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Fifolonely   Man 46yrs

We all do it

Howdy. I don't contribute much to the forums because it seems that a lot of the contributors know each other and I don't know anyone, but I do read them. For this one I'd like to offer myself as a guinea pig. Lets say you receive the best and most flattering message from me and you can't wait to check out my profile. I urge people to now look at my pictures only and be honest if you would send a reply.
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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

well

I've wondered this myself, and have kind of put this to the test in the real world, and the results are in 😉

I thought for a long time it was opportunity, online opportunity mostly, but not limited to, but in recent months have become fully aware of how I view or respond to men in the real world. I find there are very few men over the age of 40 who appeal to me, I can't help that, it is what it is. Now does that mean I rule them out entirely, of course not, but most times the ones I am attracted to have wives/families with them, they are already taken. So there lies the problem for me. I would ideally like a younger partner in crime, not live in, I don't want to do that, that's a definite no, but to connect with and spend more time with, yeah. But I need him younger, very horny and fit, and agree with everything deepestpurple said. Much more I could add but most of it would go down like a lead balloon so I won't bother. But fitness most definitely increases sex drive for men and women, and largely contributes to performance. Unfit guys can't keep up or perform to level that I like. Every has different preferences. I like the topic though. I think it is good to reflect on our patterns or preferences, which can change over time. I would be/am friends with older men or men who don't fit my all round ideal, but I don't get physical with them 😉
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cat_n_the_hatter   Couple Man 51yrs Woman 45yrs

Identity in words

My initial thought was to ignore this thread, as I do not have much experience regarding this topic. All I know is that in life what most people aim for is not usually what they get.
But I would like to share, if I may, my opinion regarding language. Words are never just words. Language is our skin. It is as if one has words instead of fingertips. Language reflects who we are, all the richness that comes from within us.

It's not only what we ask that matters, but also the way we ask questions.

It's one thing to help a friend to express their thoughts and desires, but completely different when we alter how others see them. We are social beings and how others see us deeply affects how we see ourselves. We can even use other people thoughts, but they become ours the moment we interpret them, give them our feelings and our memories.
My advise would be to help your friend with spelling, but not to control the way their thoughts flow.
However, I have to admire someone who is so open and so courageous to ask for help. And there is something undeniably sweet about helping others ...even though you could be most adorable when incoherent. (Ms)
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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

Fifolonely

Ballsy question. For me, it would be no, I'm a kind of zero body hair person lol you do look like a really nice guy though and I mean that. I also like your user name. It's honest and endearing in a way. You do seem nice, I hope you find what you're looking for
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SuperFoxxxy  

Woman 45yrs

....

Hank, I agree...very disrespectful. Yes, we should take Reds post for what it is. 👍



Red /Tall you don't have to explain yourselves or friendship with anyone. X



To answer OP question, no one is perfect, so I look for perfect imperfections. That's more attractive/appealling to me, than a Mr/Mrs Adonis who "think/believe" they are perfect.. Ms Foxy
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On_Safari   Woman 45yrs

Fifolonely

I'm a predominantly non-smoking blonde with red hair 🙃 Your profile is very honest and well written. You've been true about yourself and quite frankly that's such a rarity here!! You haven't hidden who you are behind any smoke or mirrors. You're the kind of man I've spent most of my life working alongside and I'm certain we could rustle up some trouble socially. As for your question, No I wouldn't view you as a potential FWB. As for the rug, don't let it hold you back, the Best Man at my wedding is a bear of a man and has always had beautiful partners and now a stunning wife. He's a simple man, kind, warm, funny. He had a few set backs but his follicles have never held him or the women he's loved back! Thank you for posting and please continue, we could use some new blood and a man's man around here so Cavey doesn't continue making us all gooey with his virility on his own some. 😆😂😇. Haha
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S_OnTheLoose   Man 38yrs

.




Quoting 'Fifolonely'

Howdy. I don't contribute much to the forums because it seems that a lot of the contributors know each other and I don't know anyone, but I do read them.

if you've got a point to get across, viewpoint to give, or correction to make - do it. Most of us "know" each other through posting on here, and for those who have actually met in person - it was usually as a result of forum interactions, not forum interactions as a result of meeting.
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rotaboy2011  

Man 44yrs

Thanks

Can I ask why is it so hard to just reply back to a email... even if your not interested. I know its not eharmony..but a little class to say " Thanks for interested but I am not the one for you" or something like that.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Koolgrey   Man 43yrs

What S_OTL said...




Quoting 'Fifolonely'

Howdy. I don't contribute much to the forums because it seems that a lot of the contributors know each other and I don't know anyone, but I do read them.

...and to add : Don't feel your obliged to "take sides", "like" or even agree with others opinions...just because they liked yours.
We're all big kids now. I think..
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inspirit   Woman 53yrs

Who's Adonis?

*shrugs*

I just want someone who is on the same page, mentally. I'm very unique tho, which makes me unattainable to most.

😜

Redhot..... I grew up with limited education and never really thought about literacy. I've never been a big reader of fiction either. As you may be aware, I've been on RHP for many years and during this time, through forum bashings for my literacy, I have learnt to write and spell better. I still fuck up to and too and a few others, Im no longer embarresed by it tho. I sometimes don't know where to put the proverbial comma either. It's great you're seeking help and even better you found someone who you feel comfortable with to help you.

😀

- Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit   Woman 53yrs

Off topic but FIFO dude...

I would send a thx but no thx after reading your profile. I'm not into hotrods, NBA etc nor am I fit. In fact I'm large and jingle, so I'd feel somewhat intimidated by you.

Perceptions hey.....

Goodluck to you.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit   Woman 53yrs

*NSA.

Im sure my phone pisses me off deliberately.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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MsJonesy   Woman 49yrs

Nice topic Red

I don't fit the stereotype you have offered; I don't seek an Adonis with chiselled looks and a six pack. I seek a man who is honest, respectful, emotionally intelligent and who are seeking more than NSA booty calls.

When I think of the men who I have been friends with they have been all sorts of shapes and sizes. Some have been fit, some have been desk (sedentary) fit. But all have an appreciation of spending quality time with me, and who make an effort (as I do) to make our times together be the best it can be. Those type of men will always be my choice; whether they are an adonis is never a deciding factor.

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