Sex addiction

Sex addiction

    | Mar 28, 2017
Atalanta69   Woman 48yrs
I was watching a show about sex addiction, and it made me question, is sex addiction a bad thing, given sex is natural, and good for the nervous system? Would people prefer to be in a relationship with a sex addict over another form
of addiction and what would influence that decision?

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Kittyesque

I watched the show as well




Interesting viewing but disappointed it only went for such a short time. So much more could have been explored.


Any addiction which interferes in your day to day life and is hurting you and others, destroying lives is not a "good" thing irrespective of what your addiction is. Only the person who is addicted can really decide if it is a problem or not. Self examination, acknowledgement, acceptance and a willingness to do something about is the first step for anyone dealing with a addiction but that usually does not come for quite a long time and much hurt as already been caused.


I prefer to not be in a relationship with anyone who has any addiction, because in the end, their addiction is much more important to them and their motivation in life is their next hit of whatever the addiction is, than you. You run a very poor second, if that, but you get what you settle for


Moderation in all things



*Disclaimer. Addiction to sex, gambling, drugs, alcohol, food are what I consider to be potential addictions but that is my list. I am sure others would find others things as equally destructive if they were they involved with someone who was neglecting them and their responsibilities for what ever their kick is. And everyone has a different opinion on what addiction is. I also believe that we all have something which is somewhat addictive , that we may not even share with others.

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Eiliethiya   Woman 39yrs

If they're and addict

isn't the urge sometimes uncontrolable? So being with someone like that, you'd have to be ok knowing they were having sex regularly with other people (I'd think moreso than in an open relationship situation)
I don't think I could be in that kind of relationship...addictions can take over your life and become unhealthy.
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Hotwives_Inc  

Couple (FF) Woman 48yrs Woman 48yrs

Addiction of any kind can be very detrimental ....

Sex is natural but I liken sex addiction to any other type of addiction. How is a person getting 'the needs of the addiction met'? At what cost? Are they taking unnecessary risks to get their fill? Even if they're open about 'loving sex' or 'needing sex' so often .... what impact is it having on their life and their relationships?

I wouldn't pick one addiction over another, I'd try to be incredibly supportive and give the person the chance to learn how to deal with the addiction. However, even as patient as I am ... I have a 'walking away point' ... call it selfish, I call it self preservation. I've lived with an addict, it can be soul destroying ....



Mary xx

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countrytouch   Man 35yrs

...

I'm wondering if sex addiction is just about having sex or whether it can be about thinking about it and/or looking for it. Or else it doesn't seem relevant unless such person actually has someone to have sex with. And for one person the level of time and thought spent on it is a major problem yet between two people in the same frame of mind there is no problem. The same goes for love addiction, spending too much of your time looking for love, relationships or general dates, presumedly without success but which means you spend much less time actually living life on your own, presumedly less if a problem if you are naturally introverted. On the OP topic, can you be considered addicted to sex if you only masturbate?

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Is it interupting 'normal' life?

Nice points Country Touch. I think even masturbation could be part of the spectrum of Sex addiction. Yes it is natural and good for the nervous system, good for depression, good for anxiety etc. Hell, I even use it to motivate myself if working from home. If I am stuck on something or just can't be bothered, I will have a lovely wank. After experiencing my relief, my mind seems reset and I am motivated again.

But if I masturbated so until my skin is damaged, and I damage myself often, then I may have a problem.
If I can't work effectively because I can't have a wank (because I am in the office), then there is a problem. If I forget to pick up the kids from school because I am having sex or thinking about sex or trying to organise sex, then there is a problem.

Sex is great fun. But it should not be allowed to take over a persons life

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Maybe

Sex isn't the addiction. But the pursuit of it is ?

And

Ask yourself this, would the world be a better place with more sex or less sex ?
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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

I'm an addict

Judge me if you will, it has affected my life, but ultimately in a positive way. I always want to place sex above everything, and would need to be with someone the same, so I disagree with the most of what's been said here. My children know but they have embraced the positive changes in me, physically and mentally, I'm an entirely different person to the person I once was. I'm now positive and happy, glass half full, things that used to scare me, no longer do like a brain shift, like something altered there, like flipping a light switch. And the same with my sexuality, my body changed, woke up raging horny one morning and have been ever since lol

Sex is healthy, but not just sex, general fitness is healthy, all associated in my world. Fail to see how it could be negative unless the whole cheating thing is an issue, which it wouldn't be for me πŸ˜ƒ

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inspirit   Woman 53yrs

My name is Inspirit....

Apparently I'm a sex addict.

πŸ˜‚


- Posted from rhpmobile
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Mstr_Full   Man 47yrs

addict or not?

Yes it is an important part of my life... but I can abstain and often do... either by choice or by circumstance... sadly.


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ChasinMidnight   Man 54yrs

I really, really like it, however...




...sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results.


For some sex addicts, behavior does not progress beyond compulsive masturbation or the extensive use of pornography or phone or computer sex services. For others, addiction can involve illegal activities such as exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, child molestation or rape.




The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity (USA) has defined sexual addiction as β€œengaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.” In other words, a sex addict will continue to engage in certain sexual behaviors despite facing potential health risks, financial problems, shattered relationships or even arrest.


Fortunately I doubt there are too many true ''addicts'' on this site!


Best....... CM

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Kisskiss80  

Woman 36yrs

No addiction is healthy

Plain and simple.

A sex addiction is no different. I would have thought anyone could see that. When your world revolves around your addiction, everything suffers.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Kisskiss80  

Woman 36yrs

Addictions are very destructive

After being in a relationship with an alcoholic, I will NEVER again be in a relationship wth an addict.

Addicts take risks and lie to get what they "need". Anyone who thinks their addiction is positive, or under control, yet they are still giving in to that addiction, is in denial. An addiction will always be part of you. It's up to you to decide how you will allow it to affect your life.

Having a sex addiction, or any addiction isn't something to be proud of, but it's also nothing to be ashamed of. Your actions in response to that addiction are what's shameful etc.

"I_touch_myself", can I ask why your children know? Just curious, because I know that's not something I'd want to share with my son (even if he was an adult).

"ChasinMidnight", exhibitionism and voyeurism isn't illegal, I assume you're referring to them being done without the other parties permission?

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Luck_Dragon   Woman 39yrs

Defining a sex addict

Part of the issue here is that most people seem to view a sex addict as just being someone who loves sex and has a lot of sex. That's not an addict. Even thinking about sex a lot doesn't make an addict IMO, not on its own anyway. The term 'addict' when used in relation to sex is just not given the same weight as it is when used in relation to someone who is addicted to alcohol, gambling, illegal drugs etc.

I watched that show last night and even it didn't really get across just what being an addict involves and the incredibly destructive things people will do to get their 'fix' (at least one of those guys on that panel was definitely not an addict, he was just a typical young horny guy). They will do things that will put their own physical and mental health in serious jeopardy, as well as those around them. They will put the object of their addiction above everything else in their life and eventually their life will totally revolve around feeding that addiction and dealing with the implications of it. So yes, whilst sex in normal circumstances may be a positive thing, when it comes to a true addict it becomes something destructive and dangerous. That's why I don't think you can pick one form of addiction over another...they all have the potential to cause incredible harm to both the person themselves and to the people close to them.
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Atalanta69   Woman 48yrs

Would Vanilla's consider people on this site sex addicts?

I never considered being a sex addict until I split with my ex and that was the main thing I missed out the relationship. I never thought prior to the marriage of going into a kinky sex site to meet people. Some of my friends would be shocked and horriefied!
Some people may think people on this site that actually chase sex are addicts and some people would say we are addicts because we like different styles of sex not just straight vanilla. Just to play devils avacado ,what does everyone think about this and would they be willing to share with their friends and work associates that they are on this site and chasing sex at times?

- Posted from rhpmobile
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ChasinMidnight   Man 54yrs

For something to be considered as a true disease...




Quoting 'Atalanta69'

Would Vanilla's consider people on this site sex addicts?


...within the medical definition of addictive and in addiction medicine, there needs to be clear scientific evidence that there is a physiological basis for the addiction to occur and the outcome is relatively predictable over time and in a large cross-section of similar cases. This will also include the psychologically disabling complications of the addiction as well. By example...alcoholism and heroin abuse will over time produce an irreversible residual in the brain referred to as THIQ. Treatment for these two in particular may involve lengthy hospital stays and very extensive long-term medication following a medically supervised detox along with psychological therapy.


Other so-called addictions are more a form of an OCD which can range from mild to obsessive...albeit may appear to be as dangerous as the true addictions noted above however will generally not produce physiological withdrawal complications however again as a condition of the mind can produce some amazing psychological trauma.


Vanillas would most likely consider really liking sex as an ''addiction'' however not be bothered that they may wash their hands 50 times a day or put their shoes and socks on in the exact same way as anything other than a silly little habit. Several of these have been mentioned above however I will avoid the arena of any discussion of these as there are many opinions and variables that could also be considered.


I don't suffer from any of my OCDs.... I enjoy the hell out of every one of them!


Best...... CM

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Atalanta69   Woman 48yrs

Chasing Midnight

Well said CM !

- Posted from rhpmobile
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EarthQueen   Woman 46yrs

My friends




Just to play devils avacado ,what does everyone think about this and would they be willing to share with their friends and work associates that they are on this site and chasing sex at times?

Know I'm on a site, but they think its RSVP or something like that LOL. They know I talk to people but only 1 or 2 know I hook up. I tell them when I do, they are my wing girls to keep safe if I meet someone I don't know that well. I wouldn't tell them about this site though . I don't want them to look up my profile. They don't need to know everything about me. Would never tell my work.


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lovman8  

Man 65yrs

Another bad addiction is

rhp
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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

Kisskiss

Firstly, comparing sex and alcohol addiction, that's just plain ridiculous, whatever your situation was, bringing that baggage in when on the subject of sex? Let's see, how about we throw in drug addiction, and compare that to sex, why not while we're here 😏 sex IS healthy and makes people happy, the only people it doesn't make happy are those that don't want them to be having sex, so let's analyse that part right there.

To quote one part of your comment "lie to get what they need" ?? Isn't that precisely the point I made. Cheating is the issue here, most have to sneak around to get their 'fix' lol and directly feeding off that is financial strain because they end up paying for hotels or maybe sneaking out from work, to avoid the partner finding etc. Remove the cheating and resulting financial strain/drain, add in a person equally interested in sex lol giving them the freedom they need, and I mean complete freedom, and then rethink how it would be 'negative'. Some of the other posters above, I would ask you to 'analyse the experts'. I'm not going to analyse them fully, that/they would bore me 😎

I'll also say the definition of sex addition by the so called experts, even sex experts know fuckin nothing about sex and our bodies, paints a dark picture that is in fact everyday activity for many of us here. They probably do find lots of sex negative, poor things πŸ˜‰ those experts are muggles remember?
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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

Kisskiss

Sorry I missed your other question. I can't discuss my children on here, but telling them was incredibly positive, more so over time, they needed to know to understand 'all' of me, to complete me, as a person, not just their mother. I also didn't want them thinking there was only one way, and wanted to share my happiness, or explain it lol anyway slipped that comment in simply to highlight how this can all be positive/negative depending on who is judging it, and what their own issues are, with sex, that's usually the real problem. In my case, hugely positive. Have a look at me for Christ's sake, the physical is an example of how women my age can look, they should put a poster of me on every doctor's surgery wall πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ seriously, do I look unhealthy? And happy/positive, looking at life like I'm looking at it the first time. So my question to you is, why do your family members have to sneak around lying to each other and how's that working for you? I'd say my open stance makes you uncomfortable, the way it does many women, because it makes you look bad. If you have your issues, don't take them out on me πŸ˜‰

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