Ok fella's, join me on the war against "non reply"!

Ok fella's, join me on the war against "non reply"!

    | Apr 02, 2017
artful_sinner   Man 47yrs
There's little point asking why so many of us notice that we often send messages, only to receive no replies.
I figure that rather than asking yet again why this might be, we all work together to try and do something about it.

As of today, I'm including the following notation at the bottom of my profile and hope that many others do too.
After all, the only people that benefit from non responses are the directors at RHP. After all, the larger the number of messages sent daily, the larger the revenue generated by memberships.

Heres my notation: (girls and couples, if you also feel this is a problem, then go ahead and modify it accordingly)

For those who have read this far, please understand that I think I speak on behalf of most guys when I say that we're big boys and can handle a polite "no thank you". The reality is that it costs us hard earned money to be paid members and message you, and by not replying, we often end up messaging more than once. Thick skin I have, a bottomless wallet I don’t. - So please just be polite and reply with a "no thanks" if I'm not what you’re looking for.

Apr 02, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Luck_Dragon   Woman 39yrs

Good luck with that

I think you'll need it.

The sad fact is that you don't speak on behalf of most guys, and there's quite a lot who are most certainly not 'big boys' and can't handle a no without having a little tantrum.

Also, to be blunt, it's not the receiver's issue that you are choosing to send more than one message if you haven't received any reply to the first one. That is purely your decision, so the money you are spending there is also your decision.

Of course I'm only speaking for myself here, but I find those sort of guilt-tripping 'please reply' statements in people's profiles to be a bit of a turn off (no you're not the first person to think about including one, I've seen quite a few on here). The fact is you can't make people behave in the ways you want them to or you think they should. Should people reply? Yes, probably. Will they? Some will and some won't, the reasons why some don't reply are many and varied, and I really don't believe that including that disclaimer will do much to increase your reply rate.



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ElkeM   Woman 47yrs

A return question for you

Why don't people read profiles in full before sending a message? I'm not saying you're guilty of this OP, but there are plenty on here to whom it does apply.

My profile clearly states not to send me a message unless "you're commenting on something I said in the forums, or if your profile and message are something out of the ordinary." If someone chooses to send a message that doesn't one or the other of those criteria, then it's clear to me that the sender hasn't read my profile, and there will be no reply.

It's also worth keeping in mind that no reply is a reply in itself.
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Luck_Dragon   Woman 39yrs

Something I've said before on one of the 'no reply' topics

The money you pay on here entitles you to send messages. It doesn't entitle you to replies. Sounds harsh but that's the reality of it. You're dealing with human beings and human beings are fickle, unpredictable (in some ways) creatures.


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ChasinMidnight   Man 54yrs

Sorry, champ...

...but if you think for a second that anyone you send out a message to is somehow obligated to reply then you're the one that needs to re-think the strategy. What...do you think the folks that fill your letterbox daily with junk mail and a post-paid reply expect every one of the hundreds of thousands to send back a reply?

If you do then contact the marketing department of any number of Australia's biggest companies and write back when your salary is in the mid six figure range before any bonuses!

The women here are ladies, mothers, friends and lovers...they are not here to service your ego and consider yourself blessed if they do indeed have the time and inclination to send a note back to you.

Thus endeth the sermon... CM
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Rick_Blaine   Man 45yrs

I really think

You're wasting your time fella, and most likely doing yourself a disservice in the process. It'll give your profile a bit of a precious vibe, which will be a turnoff for a lot of women.



Spend the energy you're wasting on fighting this losing battle on giving fewer fucks about whether you get a reply or not, and you'll be a much happier man.



As a person of wisdom once said "the something to something is to not try to change things you have no power over something or other."



I'm paraphrasing there.
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hotdigettydam2   Man 40yrs

Mate

Mate, most women get dozens of messages a day on here.. Most of the women I know on here dont have the time to reply to every single message they receive

- Posted from rhpmobile
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artful_sinner   Man 47yrs

Ok fella's, join me on the war against "non reply"!

All good and valid points.

Im not suggesting that anyone should feel obliged to do anything, nor should I be entitled to a response. Its more a question of courtesy at no cost to the person replying. Maybe I have been brought up to expect to much from people, but at the end of the day, when someone offers me something that I'm not interested in, I graciously decline with a no thank you. - as opposed to rudely ignoring them and walking away. A little bit of courtesy rarely comes at an expense.

Having said that, the people who have responded are probably on the money. Ultimately its not possible to make anyone reply regardless of what we put on our profiles.

Well I'll just put this down to a social experiment, leave it for a while, and report back in a few weeks if it happened to make any difference.

Oh and ChasinMidnight - You seem to be assuming a particular sex. There are also Men on here who gentlemen, fathers, friends and lovers, some of which possibly don't reply to women.

Incidentally, my wife and I have also had a couples profile for some years, and when messaging couples the reply rate is significantly higher. - go figure!
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LeMerovingien   Man 23yrs

My experience

Is that you should send messages without any expectation of a reply and be happily surprised when you do get a response. I always make sure to thank anyone that replies with a no thanks since I appreciate the fact that they did send back a message even if it's not the one I was hoping for.

Also sending repeat messages (within a few days/weeks) has never worked for me, I did get a few replies that I wouldn't have otherwise got but they weren't exactly the type of reply I was looking for . Waiting a few months and sending another probably wont hurt but once again, don't expect anything to have changed.

If I was thinking of contacting someone and saw they'd posted something similar to this I wouldn't be very impressed. To me it's about the attitude you're displaying and not the money but I've had people in the past wrongly assume that not having a membership meant I would be unable to afford them and to me it does sound a bit like you're complaining about the cost especially when you mention hard-earned money.
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MissRedFox   Woman 41yrs

Send me a second message

After I didn't respond to your first and I'll pop you on my very special block list. Actually it's probably not that special - more overcrowded.

Sometimes I don't respond straight away for I might be thinking about it. Or I got an influx of messages and haven't had a chance to go through them.

So sure if you want a thanks but no thanks immediately I can do that but understand it closes the door.

Now considering so many men complain about wasting messages you'd think they'd be more messages containing more than - hi how are you, are you looking for fun this weekend etc especially since my profile states I won't respond to these types of messages.

The guys good at this game know it's quality over quantity- honestly if you are sending great first messages you don't have to worry about sending great volumes

XX

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Atalanta69   Woman 48yrs

There are messages that don't rate a reply....

I would not normally give an example but I have to say this one was a classic..... I was sent the following message :
I'm so horny mom! I wanna a cougar to smash

As classy sensual, and attractive as this message is, through years of meditation I have learnt to hold myself back and not answer these particular ones.
Just saying. πŸ™ƒ

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Onlywantone

Touchy subject

OP you are always going to have those that see your point and those that don't. To be honest I do see your point but on the other hand I see it as pointless. I view it this way... As I have just decided to join again I send my five messages a day to women I would like to meet, granted some may seem, to quote another thread "out of my league" but hell I'm a nice guy why not.

So I have now say ten to fifteen messages floating out there most sadly as you describe are looked at and unanswered and there is where I see your point it takes thirty seconds max to say no thanks when your there. Now this all depends on whether they have viewed your profile first. If they have before reading the message it would take the say thirty seconds to say thank you but no and that I find rather rude. But if reversed, women are so inundated with messages that they have to sift through and try to separate the nice and unfortunate shit a lass has to deal with.

I figure if someone is going to contact me they will we all have our reasons for doing it our own way.

So in finishing OP I would say relax, don't let it get to you and get with the big picture if you know what I mean. Cheers



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PurePeony   Woman 42yrs

Msg at your own risk

There are past forum threads that deal with the topic of why peeps do not reply to msgs. You might want to do a search and read the posts in those threads to give you a good idea, OP.



My reasons for not replying are usually because if the person had bothered to read my deliberately lengthy profile, they will know in an instant whether or not there is a modicum of compatibility or not, and sadly, they either did not even bother to read it or they are simply trigger-happy and wanting to utilise their quota of msgs.



If I state that I'm not into married men, and married men write to me, why should I bother replying? They have obviously disregarded my preference.



My pet peeve are msgs from men who are seeking NSA when I have explicitly stated in no uncertain terms that I am not after NSA.



Some of us do have busy lives outside RHP and if our mailbox is full of msgs seeking our attention, priority of course goes to peeps who fit our preferences and those who have read our profiles and have written a thoughtful response.



I do not feel obligated to respond to unsolicited msgs from people who obviously just want to nail a quick NSA f**k from whoever might be an easy target and didn't even bother reading a profile. Some of us ladies are attracted to men who use their brains more than their second brains.



Maybe pitch your msgs to the right people and your chances of getting a response will be greater.



Good luck!
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countrytouch  

Man 35yrs

Mmm...

"The war against non-reply?"

Sorry I won't be joining you, I'm not an American :P




(FYI about one in over 20 messages sent across various sites recieves a reply in my experience. It helps to have very low expectations, but still do try to not appear jaded, that's the turn off).



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AnnieWhichway   TV/CD 54yrs

Well

Can't see how non replies are costing you money. You get x messages per day for your membership.

Premium you get 5. Premium plus 25. Platinum 50 etc.

I really have trouble getting my head around how a guy can send more than 5 messages a day to 5 women using a thought out approach. Trying to check if there is a match etc.

Perhaps a more considerate approach reading profiles first, as ElkeM said, will get more replies with less messages.

My male half has a male membership. He would average 6 messages a week. Would get at least 3 to 4 replies. 2 of those would be a positive response and lead to continued interaction.

By reading and matching and not using the machine gun approach of blasting the targets, a sniper approach is more successful in getting your victim....Err date
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cccouple8   Couple Man 32yrs Woman 32yrs

A nigerian prince

Just sent us a message and after reading your post I felt bad so I replied to him right away... nice guy he is sending me lots of gold now. thanks for the advice.
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artful_sinner   Man 47yrs

Re countrytouch




Quoting 'countrytouch'
(FYI about one in over 20 messages sent across various sites recieves a reply in my experience. It helps to have very low expectations, but still do try to not appear jaded, that's the turn off).



Um, wow. Ok maybe I've been spoiled by our couples profile, which when messaging other couples produces a far greater number of responses.
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Cruisinglife

Opened a can of worms Op

Definitely agree with Elke M. Just because your a member doesn't automatically give anyone male or female the right of reply. A message worthwhile in response costs nothing even if your just a guest. πŸ˜‰

- Posted from rhpmobile
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ElkeM   Woman 47yrs

Coming from the opposite POV




Quoting 'artful_sinner'

All good and valid points.

Im not suggesting that anyone should feel obliged to do anything, nor should I be entitled to a response. Its more a question of courtesy at no cost to the person replying. Maybe I have been brought up to expect to much from people, but at the end of the day, when someone offers me something that I'm not interested in, I graciously decline with a no thank you. - as opposed to rudely ignoring them and walking away. A little bit of courtesy rarely comes at an expense.

Fair enough. But if you 'offer' me something that I've already expressly said in my profile that I'm not interested in, then damn straight I'm going to ignore you and walk away. Nothing rude about it.
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sweetgem   Woman 38yrs

Have you ever

Come to realise that:
1) Some of the female profiles that you see, and send messages to, are either fake or men-pretended-to-be women profiles, artful_sinner? Even if they are well written profiles.

2) Women who care to reply to all messages do get abused for saying "thanks, but no thanks"?

Yep, women who care to carry the old fashioned manners do get abused verbally nastily by men who cannot take NO for an answer! I definitely did when I was active! With one even wrote back and said "don't think too high of yourself, as far as I know, a pussy is a pussy, the whole package means nothing"! This low life man said a lot more worse things to me in his reply to my reply, you can't even imagine the things that he wrote to me! So, who do you really have to blame in the end, artful_sinner, for some men's unsuccessful messaging experiences? πŸ™ƒ

I know, you can argue that not all men, especially yourself, are nasty and abusive. But think it this way....provided that the women you approached (by message) are real females....do they already know you personally in order to know who you are? How can they be sure that you won't attack them when you see their replies? And most importantly, why should they risk themselves for another chance of getting attacked with nasty words (like what I encountered)? πŸ™ƒ

In the future, when I come back again, I will still be polite and reply to messages, but will definitely use the BLOCK button immediately after I send the "thanks, but no thanks" reply! I don't care whether the men I say no to are nice or nasty, I just can't risk getting abused time and time again! Besides, I cannot change other people's personality and behaviour, but I can certainly change my ways of handling nasty circumstances, right? 😁😁

Please tell me artful_sinner, which is worse to you.......getting no answer is an answer, or getting blocked after receiving a reply? 😜

- Posted from rhpmobile
Apr 03, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

forgive me op

But it has fuck all to do with courtesy, that my friend is a crock of shit, it's a desperate plea for initiating conversation, throwing a crumb if you like.

Let me put it to you this way, how is it any different here to RL? Someone I'm repulsed by offers me a fuck in RL, I don't feel the need to be courteous and say 'no, but thank you so much, that's so nice of you to offer' more likely I would turn my back and cross the road to avoid contact, same on here, and in both cases have given the unsaid message I'm not interested, yet they try anyway. On here, I ignore flirts unless interested, then some of them message, ignoring my lack of interest. I don't even read the flirts or messages, I look at the profile, interested/not interested, reply or not. Simple as that but this is the internet, we get hit on by a wide variety of species. I for one will only speak to those I trust or want to fuck, usually both, and I'm not apologising for not speaking to the 300kg guy up the road, stuck in his house needing a crane to remove him, the 40 yr old man still living in his Mother's basement, since he was released last time, the creepy old men in speedos at the beach with belly hanging over the front lol or just someone too old/overweight/ugly/creepy/ignorant/arrogant/rude/polite. Did you see what I did there, makes no difference if you're polite or not, you are not entitled to a response from a complete stranger who has zero interest in you.

We owe you absolutely nothing. We're not paid sex workers, we're here for OUR enjoyment. There, you got a conversation out of me, happy now πŸ˜€

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