More than friends, less than a relationshio

More than friends, less than a relationshio

    | Jan 07, 2017
Fiain   Woman 40yrs
The quest for ownership free intimacy post 40 has been an interesting gig. I have enjoyed my single years greatly and I'm not sure I want to lay them to rest just yet. I am however, finding myself missing some of the yummy aspects of being coupled. Morning sex, cuddles during movies, an adventure buddy. I'm sure as hell not ready to lead a life of expectation and obligation. Is there anyone else out there who feels an extreme need for freedom and an intense desire for intimacy and how do you get what you want.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Champagnesunsets

I joined

for casual relationships. Dinner, drinks, movies with a bottle of wine at home nights then sex. That was great because I wasnt looking for anything more serious. Then, indirectly through RHP, I met a guy and everything changed. But you can have the intimacy, morning cuddles, adventures with a FWB. I had some great times with the guys I was seeing and they will always have a place in my heart. But sometimes, one of these guys will turn out to be more than you had bargained for. You dont know what awaits you in the crazy world of RHP xx
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FlyGirlC   Woman 36yrs

You just spoke from my <3

Wow.... are we just in sync gf or what?! I feel you. Yes sometimes but life goes on and I sometimes think of the less favourable things that comes with a relationship and then I'm ok again πŸ˜‰ but hell yeah I totes agree with you

- Posted from rhpmobile
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FlyGirlC   Woman 36yrs

Have to admit

That I am a bit tipsy in bed, just got home from a very wild swingers party omg.... I want again soon....

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Eiliethiya   Woman 39yrs

Same

But no, have not found it. And I'm not sure how to go about it!
I'm yet to meet a man that wants the same kind of relationship. Some will tell you they do, but it quickly becomes clear they're saying what they know you want to hear.


- Posted from rhpmobile
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licksuckshake

My thoughts

Why is a relationship expectation and obligation shouldn't it be more fun excitement having mutual support
even fwb why can't you both cuddle for the night and go again in the morning as long as both are completely honest with there feelings and if they start to change one starts liking the other more and it's not mutual it should end before the other one starts dropping there guards

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Missb4u   Woman 44yrs

I'm skeptical

I would love this and have been looking for it for over three years. I'm starting to think it's impossible to find and in my experience men say one thing and do something completely different.

Guys your actions will always speak so much louder then your words. Whether it's snide little comments about who else you MAY be seeing or saying they want friends when really they just want a fuck.



I had it for a short time with a guy way older then me. But the age difference got to him in the end.



One forumite once discribed it as the boyfriend experience without the monogamous commitment. That's what I want. I think men see that as a relationship though and believe women can't do fwb.

Be interested to hear from the guys.
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Fiain   Woman 40yrs

Wild times...

I'm not down playing the joys of straight up, mind blowing sex, I've been enjoying those for the past 3 years, hence my desire for freedom. In Melbourne I had two beautiful lovers and yes, it was cocktails, dinner or a hotel room and a show (followed by amazing sex or a wild swingers party). I enjoyed the companionship as much as the sex.

Since moving to the Gold Coast, I've been somewhat disappointed with the level of effort or distinct lack thereof.



- Posted from rhpmobile
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Fiain   Woman 40yrs

FlyGirlGC

I really do love your style babe!

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad   Man 45yrs

Reality is...

when you find it..... it cannot last and has a finite lifespan in that form. Best to approach it from the point of view if simply meeting people, and discussing the parameters when it becomes relevant, and only tolerating positive attitudes and behaviours.... not disrespect for their entertainment... and enjoy it while you have it

- Posted from rhpmobile
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Garry71   Man 45yrs

My 2 cents

If you think about it you're talkingabout a relationship, only it's one in which the time frame is exaggerated, the interactions are the same it's just that the time between these interactions is greater. Kind of a one freeze frame to the next. These relationships go on to be a success, or they fizzle just like any other only on a different time scale.



- Posted from rhpmobile
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FlyGirlC   Woman 36yrs

Specificity (I'm not drunk this time haha)

I've heard that when you are specific and truthful with what you want from a partner, it has more of a chance of happening. If you have neither of these 2 things, it's not going to happen. I enjoy my single life but that's not to say I don't feel lonely sometimes and want more when there is an amazing connection.



If you're really serious, you would treat it like anything and put focus on it. I'm still learning this btw...Still have your fun in the meantime. My best friend in London couldn't figure out her feelings after dating and had a spreadsheet. That's how serious she was and she was serial dating and dropped 3 dress sizes. I will be flying to London to attend her wedding in April. She got exactly what she wanted because she knew what she wanted and what she was willing to give and sacrifice.



So there is a success story and how it works. The mind is very powerful, but intuition is even more powerful ;)

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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

licksuckshake

Fear of commitment there dude?

Yeah same πŸ˜‰
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AngelusNovus

Your response

Dear Missb4u

I don't think it's only men that find this concept difficult. What you are saying you are seeking is very much what I'm needing at this time. There may be different degrees of intimacy or commitment in each of these friendships, for me, ranging from a primary open relationship to friendship with benefits, but for me, friendship is always vital. I'd love to get to know you.
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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

op

I know exactly this feeling you're having, and you've just helped me identify what causes us casual fuckers πŸ˜‰ to doubt our singledom and even consider a relationship. It's when you've had those really great guys, the awesome connections, what happens is they set the bar high. That's the problem and I'm having the same problem, but is it a problem really? Hmm I do miss morning sex and like you, struggle to find anyone (my age) who is as sexual as I am, and am extremely fussy, my perfect man will have to be Italian, do the dishes, you know fuck me senseless all day/night etc etc well I ran a topic on the perfect partner. It's a funny read however not far from the truth. I won't settle. Second time around, I want all the boxes ticked πŸ˜‰ don't know the answer. Is there a casual fuckers handbook we can consult? πŸ˜€
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I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

I know

More sleepovers πŸ‘ just a little twist on 'sleeping at yours' or 'sleeping at mine' because no sleeping whatsoever will happen 😎
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Eiliethiya   Woman 39yrs

Relationships

Referring to Garry71 (I suck at quoting!)

Isn't any form of intimacy a relationship of sorts? Barring a quick/random one night stand, I'd think anything else IS a type of relationship. Basic friendship is a relationship, so FWB would be too...there's the whole friendship aspect to it (that no one I've met seems to grasp) lol
Some here have previously said that though the sexual nature of their relationship has passed or ended, they've still managed to stay friends. So not all just fizzle and fade to nothing.
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cat_n_the_hatter   Couple Man 51yrs Woman 45yrs

Freedom and intimacy

I think men want intimacy as well, but sometimes they are afraid to admit it.
If men were burned too many times, they see warning signs everywhere...so sadly people get scared off easily and leave the other unceremoniously, choose to go on their different paths due to miscommunication or just because the timing of their opening is different...and then you have your freedom, but silence is burning away in the emptiness that remains when that other is not there.

It’s a miracle we find each other at all. (Ms)


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AnnieWhichway   TV/CD 54yrs

Garry71 nailed it

Relationships like sexuality can be hard to define or label. One person's FWB can be anothers gf/bf setup or another's FB.

My own relationship is perhaps similar to what you posted OP. We see each other each weekend for 1 or 2 days and nights. Sometimes more sometimes less depending on work. friends and family. We don't have the daily crap to interfere with our interactions so our time together is just for each other and keeps it fresh. We do the occasional 3some or party. We can play with same sex by ourselves but always with the other with opposite sex. It works for us. But communication and honesty is vital in making it work.

And it's not maybe something that you can slip straight into. The perfect relationship evolves and of course that right person is required
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licksuckshake

No fear just haven't met

I don't fear commitment just haven't met the right person hopefully one day

But think males and females can play games and be dishonest

Just been broken few times now as most of us have think you loose a bit of yourself every time the joys of life



- Posted from rhpmobile
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Fiain   Woman 40yrs

Strop Dragging My Heart Around

I guess if I am absolutely truthful, all of lovers, wvery single one of them has a piece of my heart. As far as 'casual relationships' none of them have bewn purely casual. The have been delightful, educational, salcioua, fun, intense, debauched, edgy, fulfilling. They were connected. Each has been wildly different from the next. I have been an ethical slut during these years, lovers openly aware of each other...to the extent of one calling the other to see if I was free to book a surprise up coming weekend. I live in radical honesty (not always a popular notion) this gives me the ability to be relaxed, to openly confess my needs, wants, desires and schedules! πŸ˜‰
There was one ocassion where I enjoyed both their company for a weekend on a houseboat. There have been sublime encounters but they have been anything but casual.

I guess I am just missing my Melbourne Men. xx

- Posted from rhpmobile

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