I know. What is it about some swingers that make them want to MORALISE others? Everyone has circumstances and your circumstances at home s are nobody's business but yours honest_Clean_fun. BUt you do know that you're going to get caught sooner or later, right. I mean, these things can only end badly although it doesn't have to cause the end of a marriage. People are capable of reaching all kinds of relationships by agreement. Live and let love.

 

Hugs

Stalky

if and when you do get caught, is it worth having to lose your wife over it?! if you love her that much, u would keep to urself and just use ur handy! I think its alright to swing when both parties know about it or in the case of bisexuals....well i dont really consider it cheating if ur doing it with the same sex as urself :P

I hear you, frustrated, couples therapy. It doesnt mean I understand you. I have been married just over a year. I am the one who always wants sex but my husband always has a different excuse. Then I find chat sites and porn sites on the pc saying he is looking for all sorts of sex and he is horny. He is just never horny with me. So us women we can never win, You guys always want more. I would be ok if he came out to me that he wants to try new stuff but it seems that I am just the boring wife  who he claims to love. So you are worng for being on here or any other site etc.. it is cheating if she doesnt know or if she isnt involved in it whether you like it or not. Take it from someone with a broken heart. Seriously what would  you do if she was cheating on you? A WOMAN HAS NEEDS as well... stop being so selfish..start thinking with you r heart and not your dick... 

Am I reading this wrong Ladybug?  Aren't you doing what he's doing?  Not that I'm judging you judging him... I'm just confused (first for everything!).  Should you two get together perhaps?

 

And now to summarise everyone's points of view

1 - If you cheat you will get caught

2 - If you're not getting what you want sexually - masturbate

3 - If you don't like to masturbate - leave your partner.  You can use point 1 as an exit strategy.

 

 

My husband is not very sexual, but we talked about this even from the dating stage. Mind you dating is a short lived thing, I jump into full relationships quickly I don't like to wait and wonder. Now I already had a partner and was in an open relationship. I always pretty much had open relationships once I realised whilst I an behave, I just don't want to. So then I had 2 boyfriends and learnt more about polyamoury and the 3 of us lived together quite well. Then my original partner found another woman who said she was up for it, then changed her mind and got more possessive and he left me. I married the other one but we knew we were ot sexual compatible but we are perfect together in every other way. So it was an open marriage of which he was welcome but didn't make any use unless I pretty much sat women in his lap. Then I met my current bf, and my husband met him and approved so I'm now in a closed relationship with the 2 of them, though I an play with others as an extension of my time with my bf. This was clearly discussed with my husband before we set up a RHP profile.

I personally would not feel comfortable lying to someone I loved so much, but I get what its like to have needs, and lack of sex and lack of the right sort of sex was all my husband and I ever fought over.

I think others are wondering what type of person you are that you are comfortable going behind your partners back, and don't want to be part of it, especially if some sort of backlash came people like some drama but not that much drama.

Talking to your partner is one thing but one of my friend's has a wife who expressly stated she doesn't want to have sex anymore, so they had a discussion and he asked about open relationship then she thought about it a few days then decided no, she didn't want that either. He pointed out that she wasn't going to have sex and he wasn't allowed to either.

Now to me that's just mean, if you love someone and you know they do want sex and you don't want to give it but you are going to deny them that pleasure happiness and experience for the rest of their lives - now that is mean.

Is there a solution yep - is here a good one that involves no lying - nope.

..and you are only 'cheating' if you are depriving your wife/husband of something. I know quite a few guys who have great relationships, and sex lives, with their wives, and still like variety. Find a nice willing girl to have your sex with, and love your wife. Then hope like mad that your sex bud doesn't start loving you..that will cause problems. 

I find it interesting... a man who cheats is the scum of the earth... mostly as dicated by women... however a woman who cheats (and let's face it theres quite a few here who do so openly)... is not given the same harsh treatment as the man.  Is that double standards or what?

 

Why is it that women can "get away with it"... but men are beaten up for it?

 

Sorry - just an observation...

 

Wayne

Niceguy

Yes a man who cheats is the scum of the earth
Yes a woman who cheats is not given the same harsh treatment as the man (except in some islamic countries where they are stoned to death)
Yes this is a double standard
Yes this has been discussed before ad infinitum

The only rule about sex in Australia is that women make the rules.

Why? See Bill Gates Rule #1 (other thread)

Regards

Mr. SR

I think female cheaters are treated differently BY MEN because there are SOOOOO many men who are desperate to get their hands on them ! (Female cheaters are treated harshly by women.)

 

The thought for a man that he can have NSA fun, is appealing where as it's not for women.

 

Men like married women.  Women aren't that attracted to married men.

 

I'm one of the women who will have a relationship with any man regardless of his marital circumstances.  AND this makes me in demand..which is actually a pain in the arse !  I don't actually want NSA fun.  I guess I'm looking for more of a relationship whether or not a man is married.

 

I don't think women make the rules... women are usually the victims ! SIMPLE !!

 

Hugs, Miss Saturn

 

Miss Saturn, but can i ask if you get the same treatment as Honest_Clean_Fun describes in his final paragraph.

Cheers Nev....Just Curious

As society views women as the weaker/fairer sex...and conversely men as the strong, dominant members...

it stands to reason that society expects men to treat women with respect and look after them...

in all sorts of ways...

hence...when a man wants to cheat on his wife, he is branded all sorts of nasty things...

whereas a woman can more or less do as she pleases...

this is a philosophical view on how society (in general) views relationships between men and women...

my personal opinion...treat people how you want people to treat you...

so if you wanna cheat...go right ahead....the universe promises to repay you double your admission price...

jose...

As people, I really like married men...their conversations hold substance and they are respectful towards me.

 

But to have sex with a married man...I'm afraid not.  Simply because it limits me in the scope of the "friendship" evolving to something more.

 

Having extra marital sex without the consent of your partner...well, as many of the above comments state, just be prepared to own your actions and accept the consequences.

 

Jx

As the old saying goes "If you cant bury your bone in your own backyard, you're gonna bury it in someone elses."

It's simple and if chicks expect their men to just go without and not give a shit about their mens sexual  needs then expect to be screwed around on.

And hows ladybug69,claims she's  been married for a year on her post and her profile says she was married for 18 years, now single.Probably a good idea to remember what you wrote on your profile b4 you post just so you can get your bu*^sh*t story right.

mr pip

 

Yeah married woman are a no  go zone to me..There is not alot to gain and you know someone is getting hurt ..I would not like it happening to me..

Hey Jose... what are you saying?  Seems to me like you are saying something terrible is going to happen to me. 

 

Mmm... guess you probably shouldn't hang around me in case you are around at the time the universe repays me ! 

 

Wouldn't your statement also apply to single men playing with married women ??? 

 

I think we all have our values, opinons and beliefs.  Lifes complex... it's rarely as it seems.

 

Hugs, Miss Saturn

 

Pipinghot71 loved your answer you go girl!!!!!!!!!!!

xxxxxxxxxx

Kittycat

does that mean if your treatment of people follows a strict "what they don't know won't hurt them", then they're not building up negative karma?

If it is not known, then is it 'harm' to somebody? The other person is still living their happy life as normal - I mean, the 'cheater' in the first instance may be blissfully unaware that his/her partner is off being the star attraction in a gangbang on Tuesdays instead of her old book club meeting. They may each be unwittingly treating each other in the same way. (Or am I overthinking this?)

Miss Saturn: I think you nailed a major compoenent of why there is the double standard.

Hi everyone, I was looking for the church and morals thread... is this it?

 

I think everyone just has to apply their own values to 'everything'.  If you draw the line at  married men or women, do so.  If you hunt married women as a sport - good on you.  If you choose not to tell your partner / wife- it's your risk (and hers without realising it perhaps)- but it's your relationship, and whatever happens is your decision ultimately.

 

But don't try and push your values on other people.  That's what religion is for

so the moralists have finally woken up?  so.......it's ok to "swing" & introduce another party/parties into a marriage, but it's not ok to admit you need sex & your wife is frigid...............

double standards or what ?

pay for it.......easier, no one gets hurt, you get your balls milked & wifey doesn't feel threatened by a third in the bed.

just my opinion so smash away

Well - married men are treated same as women in my opinion, just that they are far more visible - there is a lot more of them...
Solution - find someone in same situation - another married woman that has needs and be discreet about it... ;-)

I'm all the way with honest clean fun. You can be in a solid relationship but still have needs, different to your partner. It doesn't mean you are trying to cheat on the relationship. Let's not put extra pressure on the relationship if it's not waranted. I can concede it may seem like cheating on the innocent partner but I see it as a strategy to keep the original relationship more secure, and therefore in the interests of the innocent at the same time. Discretion and safety are given "must"s. If you violate that, then it's not cool.

 

if you are married, but are actively seeking separation, then that is not the same as

being married (happily?) and cheating on your partner...errr...honest said his wife did not

support infidelity, yet he is wiiling to take the chance and play behind his wife's back

yet still stay married to her and pretend that everything is ok...while through the forums, i have

gained the impression that you and honest are NOT in the same boat.......



A person always knows if someone is cheating on them, they just have to decide whether they want to ignore the signs...

i mean...my wife cheated on me for 8 years...

i just refused to believe it....i deflected my suspicions and found other possibilities for them...

only when i was finally confronted by seeing her in bed with my best friend did i realise..........................

who knows what karma she has brought on herself...i know that she DID have a man who loved her...

and i also know that honest will get sprung...maybe not now, maybe not soon, but in the end he will make a mistake...

is it really worth it?...i believe he should have the courage to either a) end his relationship with his wife or b)

find other ways to curb his sexual urges....

but that is only my opinion...i don't judge him for it...it's his life...his mistakes....his fun....

cheers

jose...

You forgot option c) Jose... which is to reach some form of agreement or compromise with his wife. She may not want compromise and is putting all the pressure of resolving the situatoon on him. Like she doesn't care what his needs are.

 

A sexless marriage is just co-habitation. She may as well be his flatmate and needs to take some responsibility for the decisions she has taken in all of this. All women who find tehmselves in this situation as he described it, need to do exactly that. 

 

As he said, his passions are not being met and he would have us believe that she has none, so why should he suffer sliently when it is her outlook on the marriage that has altered?

 

Love is shared... and sex is a shared experience. No one partner controls it and a marriage contract isnt some kind of a cricket bat to be used to bash your horny lover into submission when you have changed the rules and cut off the sex supply. She is all but standing there screaming "well go on then.. if you want sex go and get it somewhere else or have none."

 

From what he has told us, he is being taken for granted. He is being put in the position where he is sufferening and she is saying to herself.... "there's nothing he can do about it because we are married and if he cheats, I'll play the victim and come out looking like the good guy with all our friends and family".....

 

Go on Honest_clean_Fun.. .do whatever it is you feel you have to and if you manage to hold your marriage together well kudos for you.

 

Hugs

Stalky.

Isn't that funny - the harsh judgements and "helpful" advice i was talking about is flowing into this forum thread from all corners! What if masturbation doesn't do it for you? What if you get the greatest sexual satisfaction from pleasing a woman? What if you don't believe in karma? What if you think it is helping your marriage by taking sexual frustration out of the equation?

 

I think WildTtassieGypsie sums it up nicely from my perspective. I'd like to think consenting adults are mature enough that if they were approached by a married man / woman and they had some moral reprehension that they would keep their personal opinions to themselves and just provide a simple "no thanks". After all, this is essentially a sex site. The vast majority of us are here for one thing and chances are many people who say they are "single"are actually married - I'm just being up front about it.

 

I know I am taking a big risk, but I truly believe that my marriage would have been over a long time ago if I hadn't. I know that it sounds like a paradox, but that's my situation and all I ask is that I (and all the other married and attached people on RHP for that matter) not be judged for thier situations.

If all other avenues to resolve the problem..fail..
id keep trying to find ways to spend the sexual energy..or pay for it.
as i see it..its a better option and safer than playing with others.less chance of other people
getting caught up in the web..of hurt/pain...as i always say karma does happen..usually when one least expects it.
human nature isnt always predictable..unforeseen things happen.sit and count the cost

Double standards yes..but each to his own..as we all have to live with our consience.

xoxoxheymummanot sitting judgment

that was also on my mind...

thanks

jose...

After reading all the comments and i wont judge Honest on his personal situation or anyone else's for that matter.And each individual is entitled to there own way of life morally and ethically.If your in a marriage or relationship that is lacking sexual or emotional.As a couple wouldnt you try to find why it is lacking?Talking about what may or may not be wrong would be a start.

 

And if you do cheat and get caught has any one thought about the damage that can do to the innocent parties of the relationship/marriage? Because if the relationship/marriage ends over the cheating of that person ultimately the children get hurt more than the adults as they always dont understand why mum and dad are not together anymore especially if they are young children.

 

And no one has taken into account the sexuality of the individual.Being in a relationship/marriage with a partner who doesnt accept your sexuality(bi sexual,gay,lesbian) or says its wrong.A fair few hide these facts from their partners and find what they need else where to get those sexual needs.So is that cheating? I have a mate who is bi sexual and his wife told him if he was to sleep with another male that she would divorce him.Now there marriage is over.So who is wrong there?

 

But to answer the question not all married or attached men or woman are scum of the earth.Its the ones that are in a relationship/marriage that is not lacking sexually or emotionally that go out and cheat for what ever reason that need a kick in the backside.

 

Being in a relationship is a two way street and if only 1 partner is doing all the right things whats that say about the relationship.But on saying that if your in a relationship/marriage and both parties are playing together than thats fine.

 

There are reasons to cheat and reasons not to cheat.

I don't care how people justify why they do it, but Lieing to people is wrong Full Stop, Going behind someones back is wrong, Cheating is Wrong! espiecilly when people hearts are involved, but also, If there's no Lies involved then its not Cheating. And btw Its not a Moral thing, its a treating people with respect thing!

Tell her what your going to do or want to do and why, If you really cant live in the situation you are in, then something has to change, and you should tell her that. If she still disagrees, and wont budge, she is being selfish . .and you might not have any hope of the relationship lasting. . go ahead and do what you need to do to be happy, but just don't go behind her back, otherwise then, as Stalky said, she prob will play the Victim and rightly so, you still cheated on her.

Either that or decide you want to be with her, Its up too you and only you to make that decision, but remember, all actions have consequences!

That aint quite true cos you did contact me!!

Well i think its wrong, i wouldn't like to be cheated on.

My husband and i have been together for 5 years he is my Best Friend , Lover , Husband & Soul Mate thats how other couples should be!!!!!!!

If you cant do everything together you shouldn't be together!!!!!

My husband would rather go to the pub with me than his friends recons he has more fun with me...........

We have been on this site on & of for a couple of years now but when we meet anyone its always together!! Except if its a female i am meeting then he does'nt care.

Bottom line would you like her to cheat on you

 

Syl ( Kittycat49 )

Yeah, people accuse you of being dishonest whereas the whoel time you are saying "listen, I'm married"... and if you were a essentially a dishonest person you would without a doubt be saying "Hey baby, Yes of course with a face like a cardboard smiley are you kidding? Of course Im single" hehe.

 

Damned if you do and damned if you dont.

 

Hugs

Stalky

act like a man and leave her, nothing good is going to come from rooting out of school without her approaval. If you are best of friends you should be able to maintain that after the end of the relationship, otherwise you just risk of hurting her and losing her completely...

I think sex is the barometer of the relationship....giving a good guide to how into each other we all are.....

 

But that also waxes and wanes like the moon - her cycle, their stress, the kids, the need for a holiday, money worries....health issues.....there are a million reasons why....and why not

 

I believe sex is also our release.......if our day to day life is a matter of the commonplace things we do, going to work, picking the kids up from school, doing the shopping.....then sex is what we do to forget about all that stuff.....our other world, our safe place where we can explore, hold and be held (let's face it sex could be seen as just a big hug with hot slippery bits), show our emotions (there is a secret womens business thread on here about crying during/after sex) show our partner how much we adore them by helping them get over the line (again and again if ya lucky ! lol)....and there is the pysical aspect of it as well.....

 

We are the only animals (arguably) that only have sex for enjoyment, fun, relief, pleasure (and pain ! lol) - I mean how good is the after glow ? A cool breeze billowing in through the curtains over the damp sheets as the sweat dries on your bodies and you are holding hands...We reallydo  have the whole box and dice as a species when it comes to sex.....

 

So, honest_clean_fun......are you up for giving it one more go with your wife.....if so, try something different man cos what you guys are doing isn't working !....you say you love her (I don't know that being best friends with your wife is ideal or not for your sex life) so she deserves that you give it your very best shot right ? Think long and hard about what she needs, what she really likes, what you KNOW turns her on......and stoke up that fuckin fire....My persnal philosophy is that sex should be SEXY and FUN ! You should fuck like crazy and then laugh like HELL.

 

You are getting lots  advice, a degree of abuse and a range of opinions......it's time to look in the mirror and make some decisions.....if you have to go around behind her, where is the relationship heading ?.....if you subscribe to the theory that sex is the barometer of the relationship....then where is your relationship ?

 

The other thing is mate....she knows.....she may not know that you are being unfaithful....but she knows that both your and her heads are not in the game.....and after that it's just a matter of time.

 

Don't worry about other people's opinions....especially on a swingers site (no disrespect peeps !) because the answer to your question "are attached men the scum of the earth?" isn't your biggest problem.....so don't waste time with it....getting into online tit for tat's you can't win.....there is always gonna be some anon willing to kick you in the ball for free  if you drop your daks and bend over for them......fuck that !

 

Go to her man.....flowers, champagne, a massive hug, time together away....I dont know, I dont know her...only YOU know her.....if you want her let her know you want her FOR REAL.......she will see it in your eyes.....that you never want to let her go......no matter what......you say you love her......then show her.

 

If you look in the mirror and the answer is, she's my best friend...I love her but I'm not IN love with her and maybe she's not IN love with me but she loves me and maybe that's why our barometer has fallen down off the wall.....well......

 

Then maybe it's time for the talk.....and like the old school gent sez.....time to shut up or man up.

 

Peace.

 

Dogism.

I think if 1  is denying the other ...well that is plain wrong and selfish...

 

 

 

Hope it works out for you..

 

huggies

 

sweetpetite41 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You know what Bad Bad Dog... you little Golden Retriever you...  For someone who criticises the opinioins 'honestcleanfun' might get in a swingers forum... he got some pretty good advice from you...

Y'know... for a dog.

If she expects you to go without

As Ladybug69 Says "  women have needs too "

Just make sure 2 of her needs are not acceptable to do anymore ( come on sex must be worth at least 2)

Be viewed as cheating if broken( good excuse for pay back if relief needed.)

 

 

As a few have said that maybe she would agree if it was paid for...  Maybe once a month.

Dont forget your a classy guy. Get the expensive ones or two.

Be sure to tell her that you will really really miss her...............

With all them extra hours of work she has to do.(extra benefits include: cant be cheating if shes paying.

Also can still tell your mates that you would never have to pay for it)

 

One more bit of advice if my advice is taken....

Make sure there are no golf clubs. sharp objects etc within a km & join a health fund.

 

 

 

Yeah, we all might, in our sour bitter and twisted version of a relationship, want to play games like that, but games just make things worse. That's a sure fire way to end a relationship I think.... so  whenever I realise I'm game playing with someone I really care about, out if spite or for payback, I feel badly and try to fix it... but sometimes it's just too late for making amends. Go ahead and play those games and watch the relationship escalate to defcon 5. Hugs Stalky

LOL JG....the irony of that was not lost on me either !!

 

...and I owe you a 'thank you' as well JG for a recent reference.....your Golden Retriever remark reminded me so...

 

Thank you !

 

DogDaze.

Isn't marriage, and sex about receiving AND giving ...what about your emotional commitment? The problem is your deception, and making others a party to it. Your handle says honest_clean_fun... However, the only thing you seem honest about is deceiving your partner ...hmm appears to be an oxymoron. If you are dishonest towards the person who should be able to trust you above all others, then how could any other/s properly expect you to be honest with them about anything; STI's for example?  If you can't tolerate the fact that your partner won't tolerate infidelity, then concede 'stalemate' predicament or make an honest move and end the game.  Cheating is lying and deception destroys love because it needs trust to thrive. Honest, plain and simple.

just to clarify, im not cheating, just trying to understand him.  I guess I never will.

That's your answer, I was a married man. I cheated, finally got caught, what goes around comes around, hated by many, my wife wanted me to stay with her I told her no and although I loved my life and what I had achieved I had to leap through that window and get out.  It upset a lot of people, but the fact of the matter was. My life was okay, I have a son and nothing was openly that bad for me to simply say 'i'm leaving you, sorry about that'  the easy way out was the cheat and deal with my nagging doubts, guilt and dark moments alone.  Perhaps admit my infidelity on my death bed, which to be honest was a lot of crap to carry around for a long time.  When it comes down to it it's easy to cheat and then shut your mouth, like its easy to hate someone and never talk to them. Or slag someone off via a forum without ever having to face them. You're not confronting the issue. Have you spoken to her about swinging? I never did that and perhaps I should have. But if you go alone with this you will break this relationship if you cheat, and all those loving tender moments afterwards that you share with that person will be tainted for life. Unless of course you admit it afterwards then she will have the upper hand and trust would be a pain in the arse to re-establish.  But that doesn't matter if you care about the relationship enough to make it work. So okay, you've spoken to her and she has gone 'ewww no thanks' then what. This is the road I travelled so you don't have to if you don't want to. This has been my cycle - sex with one partner for many years, infidelity crept in, odd bit of sex which kept me going,  few affairs, few hearts broken. Enough to keep the wank bank active. Single for a few months, bit of sex here and there, spent at lot of time online looking for dates, but it was nice to get out there.  New relationship, swingy lifestyle, some good bits some bad bits, some excellent bits.  Now I'm a sex snob, I know what I want, when I want it and for now sex is sort of third on my list of things I want to do today (prob cause i just had sex) but there's always tonight. I want a girl who respects sal, and wants me, that's will go on her hands and knees on the bed, turn around part her pussy lips and say, 'shag me please andy' I want a girl, who will be Sal's friend and our part time lover (casual shifts available), no strings attached other than friendship bands.  If it's a couple then I want to be his friend too.  I'm tired and bored of wham bams and random hook ups.  Is that what you want? For me to adore a moment, great sex has been and always shall be a moment of intimacy shared a giggle and a kiss a the end and then my added bonus is to start it all over again with Sal where I belong.    What I'm saying is this, you are in a catch 22 situation.  You are seeking intimacy, but want to share that with your wife, if you say you've spoken to her about this and she is not happy. Then you should speak to both an analysts and a therapist.  There are many Anal-rapists out there that might be of assistance to you. Cheers Andy

The reason i did was you stipulated your situation, which was cool..In this instance arent we talking about married people in general, not in an open relationship?

I am not in an open relationship. My profile does not state that and if you re read our correspondence you will see I never mentioned that.

We prefer not to judge others as we don't enjoy being judged ourselves.

Remember people, there is no such thing as right and wrong, only consequences to actions and if a person is prepared to except the consequences of their actions who are we to judge them.

 

We all have our own reasons for why we live this lifestyle.

 

Our moto: Meet nice people, fuck, and go home happy.

Hey "HONEST" ..clean???_ fun ..you have to ask your self if you are bonker , love maker or hunter and either of those

is not going to help you to be, whit subconcience emotional debalans....sooo maybe you need to be remote control operator 

for a whille , before you answer those questions to Youself .......like few of us here .........before you...aahhhhhhhh..fck boring

this may be a little off-topic, but... during a recent night out on the town with some of my friends (two gay guys, one bi girl and bi-curious little me), we hit upon exactly that question. we were all disappointed by the discrepancies between the qualities we need in our partners for stable relationships (ie. potential husbands/wives) and the qualities we need for a night of hot sex.

we came to the (admittedly somewhat tequila-influenced) solution of marrying each other (gay guy + bi girl) for friendship/companionship and stability, and taking as many lovers as we choose to keep us happy outside of that. it seemed to me a pretty neat solution, especially since the chances of having your cake (finding a perfect husband/wife) and eating it too (that person also being your walking sexual fantasy) are approaching levels of quantum-possibility.

where am i going with this? i'm not quite sure. but for me, big red loud honking alarm bells go off when i hear the phrase "my husband/wife/partner/SO is my best friend"... it sounds too much like an excuse for staying in the relationship for the wrong reasons (not wanting to hurt their feelings/break their heart) even though the spark has long gone...

but as Doggy said, i wouldn't take advice from us - we aren't really any cleverer than you ;) especially not silly naive 23 year-olds who call themselves

blinky xx

Exactly right... you youngins should be seen and not heard!  Haven't you got homework to do?

You have echoed my thoughts and conveyed them articulately.

I was struggling to put to paper my thoughts and answer to the question Honest asks. I do not wish to judge him for his choices, I have made plenty of not so good ones and as you can see from Andy's post above, so has he, however it was not until we experienced the lives we have lived that we were able to see and feel the message you have conveyed here.

Thank you for a well written, honest and intuitive post.

xx Salina

Nothing is impossible to believe and no married or attached men are not the scum of the earth, and...
Once a cheat does not have to mean always a cheat.

Life is too complex, and relationships even more so for someone else to judge. I know you knock those that have offered advice and tried to "help" but hey, they are not all just preaching to you with their moral high ground, they are people that care and maybe there is something to  learn from all the posts here, including your own.

Honest, you do not have to answer to anyone here, but be true to yourself.

I have to say though, when I here someone say their partner is their best friend I do have to ask, Is that how you would treat your best friend really? Would you lie to your best friend and go behind their back to do something you know would cause them pain? Never mind what kind of husband you may be, what kind of friend does it make you?

xx Salina