How to tell your partner your a clost CD

June 20 2017

Just wanting some advice from anybody who has been in a situation where cross dressing was taboo in their relationship.

My wife has no idea that I am bi or for that matter cross dressing.

How would or did you approach this? And any women who have been on the other end of news like this how did you react and feel after learning about it.

- Posted from rhpmobile

Comments

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I have been on the other end of this.

    Here is my story. I tried to be supportive. Helping in every way I could. I didn't find it a turn on for me but put my partners happiness first and never judged him for his choices. But he was so wrapped up in his needs he would not put any effort into what I needed. And I didn't want much. Just affection and love. Anyway due to his selfishness our relationship became totally sexless. I never asked him to stop or give up what was making him happy. I'm not that sort of person. But after 7 years of no intimacy I left. We are still friends and I hope he finds the happiness and satisfaction he wants. This all happened about 10 years ago and when we split we did have fights and problems but never about his sexuality.

    I know you have said in another forum not to judge but..... don't you both deserve to be happy? Maybe you think if she doesn't know it can't hurt her. How long can you live a lie? Or do you think this is just a phase you are going through and you will get over it.

    Just curious

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    To say that he was mainly into cross dressing. I suspect he is bi but I don't know and he never said he was. It was all about the CD.

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    7 years ago

    Not sure l can give advice about it, there is no definitive answer as every situation is different when dealing with the raw human emotions on both side of it.

    I would seek professional help first to learn the wrong ways to go about it and to prepare yourself mentally.

    There will be hurt involved for you and her, a life changing event if there ever was one by revealing the unknown side of you.

    There is no quick reveal and then all good. It will take a lengthy time to come out the other side, especially if bisexuality is revealed.

    Just remember the most important part. It's not only about you. Your priority is to help her deal with it so she is ok. She may not stay with you but that should be secondary to her mental health and the support she deserves to get her through. So put your own needs aside when the storm hits.



    I can't begin to cover all the bits about this issue. I/we have been to hell and back.

    You need counselling first. Trust me, you do.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Thanks both you.make good points from both sides as for being bi I was around 12+ years ago so I was really young and I think this could be another phase its only just started with a bit of lipstick and panties. But o haven't done anything with anybody else yet.

    This has been a bit of a shock too me also as I never imagined wearing makeup or female clothing at all.

    - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    ...I'd guess if you started asking her to buy dresses that might fit you too and compliment here on the ''two for one'' sale on panty hose where your scored some too?
    Truth be told, she's a woman and if you think for a minute you'll blow something past her? Ohhhh just forget it! If the CIA was headed up by a woman there would be no military secrets left in the world!
    Goooood luck... CM who thinks the wimps at Guantanamo Bay could have learned a lot listening to the average woman!

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    The OP is gone. Whatcha bet the wife did actually catch him?

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    7 years ago

    The attempt at humour scared him off.......

  • Livingandloving2

    Livingandloving2

    7 years ago

    Just a stab in the dark... but maybe the OP was looking for serious advice for a deeply troubling personal issue.
    Mrs LAL

    - Posted from rhpmobile

  • mango69er

    mango69er

    7 years ago

    Theres a time for humour. And a time to say nothing, if you cant help someone with a problem

    - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    But I really don't get your humour lately CM.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    ...to anyone that did take my comment in offense, certainly not intended.
    That said, this same OP did cop quite a mouthful on a similar thread about purchasing rechargeable VISA/MasterCard vouchers on another thread from several regulars who all seemed to feel that the intent was to secretly run all this covertly and without the knowledge of his wife. I was not one of them....worth the read and perhaps more of an influence on the decision to go?
    I do wonder, however, that if someone did have a very sincere and deeply troubling issue, he/she would be best served by the professional community and some of the ''advice'' we offer should be preempted by stating that what is on offer is an opinion and/or personal experience rather than qualified advice which is what I would hope he would seek out.
    Best always..... CM

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Quoting 'ChasinMidnight'
    ...to anyone that did take my comment in offense, certainly not intended.
    That said, this same OP did cop quite a mouthful on a similar thread about purchasing rechargeable VISA/MasterCard vouchers on another thread from several regulars who all seemed to feel that the intent was to secretly run all this covertly and without the knowledge of his wife. I was not one of them....worth the read and perhaps more of an influence on the decision to go?
    I do wonder, however, that if someone did have a very sincere and deeply troubling issue, he/she would be best served by the professional community and some of the ''advice'' we offer should be preempted by stating that what is on offer is an opinion and/or personal experience rather than qualified advice which is what I would hope he would seek out.
    Best always..... CM
    And I didnt get your humour on that thread either.
    But that is my issue so I will leave it there.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Quoting 'ChasinMidnight'That said, this same OP did cop quite a mouthful on a similar thread about purchasing rechargeable VISA/MasterCard vouchers on another thread from several regulars who all seemed to feel that the intent was to secretly run all this covertly and without the knowledge of his wife.


    People knew that was his intent because the OP fully admitted that he was on here without the knowledge of his wife, and he wanted a secretive way to pay the membership. Regardless, I certainly didn't see anybody give him a mouthful. All of which is beside the point of your comments on this thread.

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    7 years ago

    Deflection is a marvellous thing isn't it?

    Reread the pre paid visa thread and there was no slinging in there. Once again your attempt at humour.

    The 2 posters in here before your posts included Ticklish recounting her experience of the situation, and mine where l advised him to see professional opinion. Then your off topic comments which probably pushed him off the site where he was seeking genuine advice.

    I think you need to re-evaluate your approach

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    im not sure how youd be best to go about it ,,i can say that its some thing that you best do ,,,the urge to cross dress will never go away ,,,i lost some fantastic woman in my life when they found out about my secret in the past ,,eventually finding love with a woman that accepted me as a cross dresser <transvestite >in fact i met her thru this site ,,as my profile was as a trans person ,,unfortunaitly she passed away ,,,ive since transitioned and am opemly transexual ,,,

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    ...no one will ever judge you other than for who and what you are if they are being really honest. Sorry to hear about your loss.
    As for the rest? Think of a bunch of seagulls flying overhead and spotting a bag of hot chips dropped in the parking lot near the beach?
    In reality, it doesn't mean shit...well, except to the seagulls!

  • Livingandloving2

    Livingandloving2

    7 years ago

    My comment to you on this thread was in response to your comments about the OP leaving the site. I defended the OP about the most likely reason he left.
    I didn't comment on the prepaid thread because if I can't offer something constructive I'd rather keep my opinions to myself
    Mrs LAL

    - Posted from rhpmobile