Dating a player

Dating a player

    | Apr 07, 2017
FlyGirlC   Woman 36yrs
In my experience and view of the world, most (if not all people) would want nothing more than to have at least one other person in this world to understand and connect with them on a deeper level and sustain it.

When I was younger, I wanted to part of the cool crowd, be the life of the party and be accepted and loved. As time went by, I realised that people are attracted to bubbly personalities and people who are easy to hang around. Nobody likes negative nancies.

So my question to you is - have you, would you or are you dating someone who's perceived as a player?

I ask this because I attract good looking, nice guys who have hot bodies and as they seduce my mind and body, I connect with them at a deeper level and even though sometimes they shy away... they start to trust me and I'm not going to hurt them but want to make them see that not everybody is out to break down their wall of armour like a Trojan to wreak havoc on their heart. It is not an easy task, but if they are worth the fight, then nothing can break my focus.

What are your thoughts and experiences?

- Posted from rhpmobile
Apr 19, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post

All in

We're all players in the game of life, some of us move forward, some go around in circles. If you haven't noticed nature prefers diversity, it's what makes us stronger.

People exist in a multitude of physical and social environments and thrive. We need leaders and we need labourers. I'm sure we don't need pedophiles and psychopaths yet they exist, natures social experiments.

What am I saying? Dunno.

Perhaps it's just be more accepting. Players, narcissists, and grumpy old men all have their part to play.

I think I have my period. 😢
Apr 21, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FlyGirlC   Woman 36yrs

So hit another brick wall

Excuse me for this journal entry but I must vent....!!! Kinda delirious right now.

As I lay awake at 4am in the morning, my mind has been searching for a solution to an ongoing issue in my "relationship". Yes already... hard truths. Even if short lived, at least I had a go, aight!

It will never seem to go away. What seems to be ages has only been a few weeks, but we've known each other for months. As we come to a compromise and trust each other, the true test of character will be when I leave the country for 2-3weeks and whether my life will come back in ruins or still in tact. I'm a bit worried as I'm handing over my heart to someone else who may be a shaky driver.... "why?" I hear you ask? I don't fucking know why. Why am I like this? Why do I care so much? Cos I'm strong enough to? Because I work through my problems rather than run away...? The other person runs away from their problems first? I confirm with myself that I'm a stayer and not a player? God dammit. I think I should brace myself.

*breathe, centre yourself and trust... there is a lesson in this that I will probably do this shit all over again...*sigh*
Devil: For what?
Angel: for a more meaningful life with a purpose and your true happiness
Devil: but I just wanna have fun with someone!
Angel: oh but that requires for you to be dragged through hell and back - let's face it. The truth sets us free
Devil: god damn you and your stupid righteousness. Only time will tell 😈 leave it all up to someone else to play with your life...
Angel: love conquers all. If you love something then let it go, if it comes back then it's your forever"
Devil: ..... yes... but not if they keep coming and going as they please.
Angel: when they realise the truth, they will learn to love and appreciate what they lost 😇
Devil: hmf ok, we'll see about that 😈

- Posted from rhpmobile
Apr 21, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs


Haha 😀 I think you're making the fatal mistake of over thinking. With respect, and I do mean that, there are some inconsistencies in your op and what you're saying here, or maybe I didn't quite understand your op properly. You say you want them to trust you, that not everyone wants to break down the wall to their heart, yet in this new post, it sounds like that's exactly what is happening. I'm not having a go at you, please don't think that, matters of the heart can be complicated.

Couple of other questions. You refer to this as a relationship, what kind of relationship is it, hasn't it only been a few months? So do you mean fwb or bf/gf ? My thought is you should slow down, take a step back, give him space. And why are you concerned you might come home to your life in ruins? That sounds awfully possessive, sorry but that would scare me off. I'm sure I'm reading in parts of this, but after a few months of actually knowing him, and a few weeks into a relationship, are you worried he'll have sex with other women? Why not just let him rather than spending every waking moment worrying he'll cheat. Is he in on this, meaning does he fully understand what you expect, assuming you want monogamy?

Apr 22, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FlyGirlC   Woman 36yrs

All very good points 🤔

I guess I'm testing my own inner strength and also seeing if he is trustworthy. If he wants to test himself and see how loyal he can be, here is his opportunity. Neither of us can guarantee how long this will last, I said that to him. Yes I want monogamy to start because my desires are almost insatiable and also a player has had enough pussy to last 2 lifetimes if we compare to the average. Where to go from here? Find something that everybody else eventually realises they want, maybe... an intimate relationship, friendship and connection, someone reliable to enjoy your time that you can laugh and cry with. No? Well maybe some are pushing that thought away and blocking ourselves from that. I did, until I realised how much I should be loving and forgiving myself for fuck ups I make.

If I take a step back, I've been solo most of my life so I should be used to filling my time with my own projects. My life being in ruins is probably an exaggeration at 4am in the morning 😋 when I was most vulnerable. It would hurt, but so does life. I've presented him many opportunities to test his own character. To make him better and if he decides to deceive me then he will only deceive himself, lose me and hurt us both. If he pushes me away and doesn't see what I'm trying to do for him and for us then so be it. I don't lose anything from doing it. Maybe a bit of time, money and heartache, but it was worth it at the time. I am hoping that he appreciates me enough so that he will do these things for at least himself even if nobody else. He can be a smartass and he may cheat but he is only cheating himself. As the guilt will just catch up to him. If that's how he wants to live his life then that is the hard truth that he has to face. I already did that in my early 20s, couldn't live with the guilt of cheating on my first bf of ~4yrs when we would argue everyday, I couldn't see a future with him and thank god I had the strength to walk away when our lives were so deeply entwined. But it taught me. Nowadays, I have nothing to hide. I can be truthful to anyone if Im truthful to myself first. Take it slow. We have time. If it is to last a long time then we have lots of time.

I don't stop dreaming, even when my heart is broken and in pieces. Having had vanilla friends (muggles as you call them @iTouch 😉) for almost 2 decades this year means that I have some great, unconditional love in my life and I won't easily abandon people but can agree to disagree with those I don't get along with. I guess I do care too much 😊 true friends are always there for me. I don't know how I am so lucky... but I am 💖

- Posted from rhpmobile
Apr 22, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FlyGirlC   Woman 36yrs


I do think too much - you're right 🤔 many say this, but if I didn't I wouldn't understand myself so well... that is my one and only aim in life, if nothing else.

- Posted from rhpmobile
Apr 22, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs


Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I do understand and don't worry, re over thinking, I doubt there would be one of us who hasn't done that. I certainly have, hence my glorious wisdom about it now lol 😊

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