M35 F35
Can someone explain exactly what BDSM is
August 20 2015
Comments
RHP User
9 years ago
Is an answer that will take some time and my advice is get someone with real experience to show you. One thing you will find out is that it has to connect from your brain to your body to be truly enjoyed.
Missb4u
9 years ago
so if you don't get it you don't get it, No big deal. I've had limited experience and crave more but finding someone experienced to explore with is hard, well so I've found anyway.
RHP User
9 years ago
So here's a short versionFirst of all being a sub or Dom has different levels andit all starts with respect for those levels.It starts with your mind as you have to be willing to giveyour mind and body to be controlled by another.If you enjoy pain that to is controlled by the Dom or Dommeand in most cases there is a stronger bond than in a vanilla relationship.Example I am over 50 and my 2 main subs who live with me are 20 and 21 with other casual subs 33 and 40.We formed a family with othersMistress 38Master 38and many male and female subs.I hope this helps.
RHP User
9 years ago
Try google or fetlife.
RHP User
9 years ago
Chevtrek So what would a day consist of with the 3 of u living together ? To what extend do you control them and what do they do on a daily basis ?
Lovinit28andKC72
9 years ago
You don't have to understand it, it's not for everyone and there are so many aspects of BDSM, not just control like Chev seems to think....
BDSM is a variety of erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, dominance and submission, masochism, and other interpersonal dynamics. BD-bondage/discipline, DS- dominance/submission, SM-Sadism/Moschoism, are what the BDSM stand for....The roles with in it - Top/Dominant - a person be it male or female that controls the situation, bottom/submissive - who is on the receiving end, switch - a person who enjoys doing both. It's not all about sex, it's about trust, it's about people and their needs, it's a sensory overload, it's quite remarkable what one can do and achieve without even realising, if you let your mind go to places you never dreamed of......just a snippet....💋Lovinit28andKC72
9 years ago
And it's not about ages as Chev always likes to point out too.....
Lovinit28andKC72
9 years ago
I should also point out that this part "BDSM is a variety of erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, dominance and submission, masochism, and other interpersonal dynamics." was from goggle.
For me personally it's about pushing myself, for nothing else but to experience things, to see if it could do it, for pleasure. Some people get the adrenaline highs from jumping out of planes, drugs and things like that. I get mine from pushing myself and others, the adrenaline kicks in, the endorphins take over and your heart pounds with anticipation, that's what this type of play does for me.....like I said not for everyone....💋RHP User
9 years ago
Thanks for your input! It's more the fact that I wanted to get more of an idea as to what it is just coz I'm curious about it
RHP User
9 years ago
E88 BDSM is hard to explain to someone who doesn't understand it. There are different aspects of BDSM that others on this forum have briefly mentioned. One thing I think they'll all agree on is, when it's sexually charged and with the right partner, it increases sexual arousal and satisfaction to the ultimate level. Which is also why it is addictive and makes it hard to retun to 'vanilla' sex. Like missb72 said, exploring this would be best with someone experienced (and someone you trust).
RHP User
9 years ago
it's all designer 😊
There are some though that are about as dominant and master like as sweep from the sooty show lol
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
9 years ago
Bdsm never really appealed to me Because what I am seeing is a dynamic that is basically set up like 1 person playing the role as a narcissist and the other playing the role as a victim with giving away there rights and asking to be controlled psychologically. How on earth does that lead to arousal ? I guess I am referring to the extreme forms of bdsm ...on a lower end of the spectrum it sounds like it could be kinky and playful.
Lovinit28andKC72
9 years ago
Yes, it's role play for a lot of people, others live it 24/7 and complete control is just one aspect of it.....
But there is so much more to it, I adore a man to take control in the bedroom, I love nothing more than to please him, to be taken in a primal, raw and animalistic way, but I also like to take control of a playmate, for his/her pleasure.
Dominance is one persons need, submission is the other person need, it comes together quite well. The same as Sadism/moschoism, it's how it works and it's that reason you don't have to get it....If they are satisfying each other's needs then that's all that matters, different strokes for different folks....I've dabbled in a little bit of BDSM, across all B/D, D/S & S/M aspects of it, but I'm no expert by any stretch of the imagination, but what I've done and achieved, has left me wanting more, to push myself that little bit further, just to see.
Honestly 18months ago I stumbled in here as an extremely vanilla woman, not having any experiences at all, I lurked for a long time, listened, read, researched and made a decision to open my mind, have experiences that I would never of dreamed off.... If someone had have said to me, you're going to have someone put 34 needles down the middle of your chest and lace ribbon through them, to make a chest corset, I would have run away in tears, but I did it, I loved it, did it get me wet no, but the beautiful woman that did it to me did, it gave me something else.... It's the same with being across someone's lap and the sting of hand comes down on your bare skin, followed by a gentle kiss, a light touch or the chill of the ice, or being restrained by someone, or having my breast bound, or having my body being tied in rope, have bruises on my body and never recalling any pain attached to them, because your body is in a whole different place to your mind. I would have said bullshit, not in a hundred years am I ever going to do any of that, let alone get excited or aroused by it, but I do.... But my mind is extremely open, do I need it, NO, but do I enjoy it, YES I do...
Wild_Pagan_Love
9 years ago
I’d highly recommend researching it properly, and from credible sites only. It’s one of those things when done right is magic, but done wrong (eg most porn out there) seems pretty horrible. It needs to happen very organically, and should come from the desire of the girl to be submissive, not so much from the dominant partner (in my opinion).
Whilst interpretation/experience would be a very personal thing, I’d roughly say that it has a lot to do with the thrill/desire to give up control, for another to 'have their way’ with you sexually. And obviously that’s where the trust/respect comes in, because it is only roleplay (however quite believable). It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with being a ‘sub-dominant’ personality either. Partners of mine who have loved it were actually very assertive/non-submissive in everyday life, It seems like a very raw primal thing, where you turn that ‘in control’ mode ‘off’, so to speak.
But like everything, horses for courses. Not your thing? No big deal.RHP User
9 years ago
Bondage, discipline sadism, masochism. Break out a thesaurus, and figure out if any of those fit your sexual tastes and explore with someone you trust. Bdsm and sex in general can be many things to many different people. Find the hat that fits you best and rock the hell out of it!!!!
RHP User
9 years ago
Ok what you said has explained it much better !! And I think I get it now. Now I can see the thrill in it Do u have experience in this ? I'm guessing u do
Wild_Pagan_Love
9 years ago
A little bit. Recently an fwb has discovered that it really works for her. She’s only new to it herself, but I think we’ve had so much fun because she has set the pace. It was never my thing, but I love it now, just seeing how hard it gets her off. Has it spiked your interest? Happy to chat about it anytime (pm me).
RHP User
9 years ago
If I had to sum up the attraction for me it is that it is very Romantic. Both partners making a lot of effort to please the other mentally and sexually. The forms that may take are many and varied, but the ducks guts is the romantic eroticism. Cheers Greg
RHP User
8 years ago
RESPECT, TRUST, EFFORT, CARE... CONNECTION!
a bit like most good relationships... but perhaps more... intense at times. :)Lovinit28andKC72
8 years ago
I'm still feeling the same about the experiences that I'm having and stand by what I said in the above statements.
I am now someone's submissive in a D/s style relationship. I'm getting more experience with impact play, more needles, more rope, I'm learning a great deal more of my needs and the needs of my Dominant partner. I'm finding I'm craving it, the floggings (the cane is my new favourite toy) I need them, I want them, they take me exactly where I need to go, they give me exactly what I'm chasing. I want to give this man control over me, I'm in control every other day, with him I don't have to be, it's a wonderful feeling. I trust him 110%, he pushes me, he knows my body, he loves the fact that everything I do is for him, to please him and make him happy and I love that I give him that. I still crave a submissive bi male for myself, which I'm looking into, so I can push someone and please them in a different way. And I've still have a desire for love making, passion, vanilla (kinda), which I believe I might of found a man who excepts me for who I am, who I have a connection with and I'm excited to get to know him better and more intimately. 💋 I'm a lucky girl 😍RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'experimental88'
Chevtrek
So what would a day consist of with the 3 of u living together ? To what extend do you control them and what do they do on a daily basis ?
Its the play time that counts and submission is a state of mind and a sub can zone out.A sub that likes pain can even zone to a point and not feel a thinglike thee 20 year old can do yet my 45 year old sub just likes controlto be forced to orgasm and gag on a cock or pussy.Weekends depends on if we go someplace like with other kinky couplesas it can be a real kinky swap of subs and Doms.Also we go to fetish meetings or just go do normal things like shops, drives down south or even just sex on the beach.I even tied a sub to a post at Rockingham beach and forced her to orgasmthen fucked her hard till I cum all over her ass.There are no rules but BDSM sure adds variety however some do want 24/7control and want to be caged when not being dominated.
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