M58 F43
BDSM the new vanilla?
March 30 2018
This observation crystalised when this morning 3 out of the 4 new couples listed hard bdsm as an interest...really?
Is it just a case of ignorance of the subject that makes everyone think they know what it is and that they are into it too....? One couple had it listed and when we chatted commented that they were into everything as long as it didnt leave any marks as they had to go to work...
Is fifty shades to blame? Remember when leather jeans became a fashion statement?
What are others thoughts? experience? of the sudden flood off hard bdsmer's on RHP?
Comments
RHP User
6 years ago
...may really understand the genuine difference between BDSM hard or BDSM soft. I'm drawn only to the latter as a sensual art and often liken this to Shibari and Kinbaku. Yes in these there is a difference too.
Trying to emulate what you may see in the movies could get a bit dangerous...I'm the real Superman you know but not going to jump off a building to prove it. There's other reasons why I don't mind being called the man of steel!
I've no interest in leaving marks, bruises or scars unless some asshole really deserves it but that's another story and I'll leave it for the tellin'.
😉⚡️
- Posted from rhpmobile
PurePeony
6 years ago
I remember reading an article in a Science or Psychology mag that claimed that people who get bored easily will try riskier and riskier things just to stay entertained.
People who are of a restless nature quickly grow bored of vanilla sex. They then seek the next biggest thrill... then the next... and the next...
All it takes is one porn clip or Instagram or meme or article to publicise something new, and the restless will all flock to try it out, hence resulting in a trend. Remember planking? Or that throw a bucket of ice over your head fad? BDSM is a trend, made trendy with the proliferation of porn clips and yeah... Fifty Shades of Gray. 😜
I reckon society used to be more discreet and there would be a social stigma slapped on people who strayed outside the conventions. These days, barriers have been pulled down, people are less constrained and trendsetters gain instant notoriety or cult status. There's money to be made in being outrageously different these days and it's no longer about conformity but about breaking rules and boundaries.
So yeah... BDSM has become the new trend. Remember when swingers had to be hush-hush? No one bats an eyelid about it much these days.
HotNightsGC
6 years ago
Talk the talk but don’t walk the walk.
There’s a lot of people on here that say things to hype their profile. Some from either lack of knowledge on the topic of BDSM or just simply being time wasters.
We’re not into hard BDSM so would take a wide berth around these profiles anyway.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
6 years ago
But not necessarily less kinky than now. Swinging has been around for ages though its probably only been openly talked about in the last 15 -20 years. When was Marquis De Sade around? 1740 - 1814. That's a long time for people to have been exploring kink.
I think what has changed is us living in a global community which means we are open about far more than we used to be and information is more accessible.
I do agree there is a lack of understanding about soft and hard BDSM . I believe there are lots of people who are curious but don't necessarily know enough about BDSM generally and the different types of play.
If people want to experiment, then go for it but do some research, find experienced players to talk to and learn from.
As for whether BDSM is the new vanilla, maybe people have realised neapolitan offers vanilla and moreRHP User
6 years ago
I agree with GgpsyRed not enough people are educated enough and having fifty shades out there now it’s opened up the fact that’s this is okay and it’s easy enough for her on the screen so you can do it too.
I guess people are getting over missionary .. tad boring!
BDSM is exciting & a thrill ... if done correctly.
I think a lot of people are curious and always have been but never tried it as they imagine some weird or full on things happening...
But with research they will find what they like and don’t. I think having a mentor to show you the way is a huge help!
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
6 years ago
Interests on here may mean "curious about" or "enjoy doing". That distinction is divided on other sites. On here, I've seen many a first timer profile, single or couple, listing things they obviously haven't actually done, based on their profile text.
- Posted from rhpmobiletwowithnolimits
6 years ago
Perhaps rhp could address that in their profile structure? (you guys listening???)
RHP User
6 years ago
Ive been in scene for over 20 yrs and think 50 shades has made more people curiois about it and also made alot of men think they are a Dom when they truly are not as its not all about being rpugh or pain its about communication , trust , sensuality
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
4 years ago
Is it just a case of ignorance of the subject that makes everyone think they know what it is and that they are into it too....? One couple had it listed and when we chatted commented that they were into everything as long as it didnt leave any marks as they had to go to work...
Well I don't there is a defined line between hard & soft. Everyone has different definitions relative to their own limits and what they have seen. It does make it a bit confusing. Many profiles describe people as kinky - but that usually turns out to mean they are into same room swinging in a nice vanilla way in a nice clean hotel room.You know BDSM doesn't have to include any impact play right? Let alone the kind that leaves marks.
Tongue
4 years ago
Is it not a good thing? Variety is the spice of life after all
I think its good to see more open and interest in different aspects of sexRHP User
4 years ago
Hi,
I quess some people think both are the same thing ,i wonder have these people been involved at all or just seen it on TV,
Try rope tieing or being whipped and I mean really whipped marks on your back close to drawing blood... needle work on your back oh yes and blood , like 30 needle,s and more and they are then laced with ribbin to look like a flower or what ever is nice to look at, can these people take the pain and go through it,,
being tied with rope hanging from a tree and photos taken or in side a building , Hmmm I wonder,
Okay, yes i have been there and i was whipped we are not talking a little tickle on your back my friend could not take it so stopped and he,s a guy we were hit on the hands he pulled out , i stood there and said oh when you going to hit hard my Hitter wacked me , oh dear me i did not say a word or flinch an other guy gave us the back flogging my friend could not stand it so my hitter did me harder, ,
Thing is you have to know your body and how to be able to take it,, pain,, and so you prep your self i do and i have an extream pain tolerance,
my friend does tie me he is learning the how to i have set limites as to what can be done , i,ll take the flogging on my back only , so there you are belive or not , i wont be writing on my profile any thing concerning this and dont need to.
Oh.... and by the way 20 of us had a lovely week end last week, Oct 25 - 28 th,
,,,noeleena,,,RHP User
4 years ago
BDSM may will be the new vanilla...
or it may be just something "cool" to put on a profile, or maybe it is that BDSM has long gone past the basic breakdown of B/d, S/m and D/s and it is more about the willingness to open the mind to explore beyond the "vanilla" world.
The definition of hard vs soft is pretty vague and ambiguous, what some see as hard may be where others start
What I see when I look at a profile that contains BDSM or fetish or kink or whatever term that is in a dropdown panel is the willingness to explore the mind and body, no more, no less
How that pans out of two people connect will always be unique those two, or more, people
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