Advice before leaving again....

Advice before leaving again....

    | Apr 19, 2017
wholikesfun
Hey guys n gals....



Yes the classic Single guy.. Not much action... Where's the love.. No replies routine... But really really curious...



How do you get "in"?



Seems if you're a woman or a couple.. No dramas.. But unless you have contacts/play mates already that it is very hard to get the door open to meet the fun people...i know we all deal with gameplayers here(ive definitely had to deal with some bad people/situations) but Im about to delete the profile again because it just gets boring contacting person after person and no reply..does your head in and sadly enough turns you off fun sex.. .its a pain because if I had a female with me it would be a completely different story...



Starting to think this site is mainly for couples swinging and girls that want to join them..i know some guys have regular fun and have good connections.. Don't worry I'm not hating guys. I think jealousy is the word lol but how did you guys get to that position..thats what I'm keen to learn...it really not just as simple as having fun I get it..





It seems harder and harder to get the opportunities... the odds seem to be favouring couples and women.. .and starting to think maybe one day I should just come back with a lady who is open minded for having some fun...now where do you find them lol



And yes I've tried different ways of presenting the profile...and have met the odd fun couple/person but it seems to get regular fun is a daunting task....



Wouldn't normally comment guys to be honest but hey figure if I'm on the verge of deleting the profile again maybe some advice/experience could assist...
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Fun2AfterDark   Couple Man 52yrs Woman 49yrs

Just had a look

at your profile and I thought it looked fine with one notable exception. Your face pic is in your public gallery. I am personally wary of this because it implies your understanding of discretion is way too different to mine. I am, to be course, a furtive fucker so I need my sexy partners to demonstrate a broad understanding of confidentiality and discernment.

While I 'tip my hat' at your freedom to put your face pic in your public gallery, in this 'place' where there seems to be lots of single good looking guys to choose from, it would put you in my 'no' pile pretty quickly.

Mrs F
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
DynamicCouple36   Couple Man 47yrs Woman 38yrs

It's a numbers game

"single" males on this site , far outnumber females & couples.

We put single in " " as many so called single males are not single at all.

Sex sells, and makes big money, and the females / female half of a couple, are certainly used as "bait" to attract the paying males. It's a marketing ploy on here and also at swingers clubs.

You have to therefore accept the fact that you, as a male on here, are in over supply and as such you will have a lot of competition.

Single females & couples, get bombarded by dozens of messages every day, the majority of which don't match what they are looking for, as the sender of said messages has, in many cases, not bothered to carefully read through the profile wording before sending the message.

As a result of this, many females & couples simply get fed up with the messages and having to reply and then getting an angry response wanting to know why they are not interested etc.

It's just much easier, and less stressful, to ignore the message entirely.

If males are in the vast majority here, how can this site be mainly for females & couples ?

Our advice is to not have any expectations at all.

We have met several really nice people ( including single males) through this site. You have to sift through all the profiles (many of which are fake and or time wasters) to find genuine, respectful people.

You then ( in our case) need to take the time to get to know them, before taking things to the next level.

There are no guarantees, sure things and quick roots (certainly not in our opinion or preferred ways of doing things).

This site does not quarantine you a "quick fuck". It's simply another platform to hopefully meet someone compatible

- Posted from rhpmobile
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

every person

Every person, male or female, shouldn't expect any more on here than RL. How much attention from women do you get in RL? You can't answer that now, on here at least, but it is only marginally different to real life, in the sense that you will appeal to the opposite sex, or same sex, whatever your preference is, or you won't, or it might be hit and miss, but all of us can improve ourselves to make ourselves more appealing. Age has nothing to do with it either.

And if you think teaming up with a woman would get you action, I personally wouldn't get with a couple unless I was strongly attracted to both, so it wouldn't make an iota of difference from where I sit. I guess women who are mainly or only playing with the woman in your presence, might not be so fussy.

Sorry but it's life, and online needs to be treated the same way. None of the above thoughts about improving oneself is personal/directed at you, I can't see you profile, and even if I could, it's a general feeling about RL vs online. Just because you join a site like this, doesn't mean you can expect women to serve you ๐Ÿ˜‰
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

oops

The comment about bi women not being so fussy, don't lay into me over that, I didn't mean it like that, certainly not as a sweeping statement, just that I have seen lots of couples where the man is very unappealing with a hot wife, and they get plenty of action, pimp out their wives, which for the record op, is what you're suggesting doing?
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Fit_Geek

It's all about the numbers

You're right in so much that for odds of success the site is best for couples and single women. As there are so many single males here. When most guys are going to put in a bunch of variations of fun, respectable, professional, respectful, etc etc you need some way to stand out from the crowd. And even then it's hard to differentiate yourself from the 20 other guys competing for attention. Male / female ratios are skewed on every dating site, but here it's much worse for various reasons - still 'frowned upon' for ladies to use this sort of site, but not as much for men;men 'jumping' on any new ladies, scaring off potentially those who'd stay if not immediately set upon (creating the viscous cycle of skewing the ratios even more), couples much much more likely to include single women in what they are looking for then single men (which allows the significant bi-sexual population of ladies everything in one 'hit' or what feels like a safer environment for a straight encounter, as another lady will be there).



The key is to way lower your expectations. In the real world with close to a 1 to 1 ratio, if you want to hook up you'll need to make some compromises about things that aren't deal breakers. Here the ladies can knock off any guy with the slightest mismatch, knowing there'll be many many many more still to choose from. Just enjoy your time here, hop on the forums, send your messages, but take anything beyond that (including replies) as a bonus. It's that or be bitter. And life's too short for that.
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
ChasinMidnight   Man 54yrs

From the male perspective...

...it's all about attitude, dude. Be polite, be gracious, be yourself but mostly....try not to take anything personally or I've been want to say, who gives a fuck? The lovely ladies that are regular contributors to this forum probably get more notes than Donald Trump whose latest hobby seems to be blowing up stuff with Patriot Missiles!

It's the ones that simply read the forums that might just be the winners that will contact you first! Chill out, have fun and enjoy the pictures ... every once in a while you'll score and you won't even remember the frustrating times when you didn't.

Best...... CM
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Dizzygirl1   Woman 44yrs

Approach

Day 2 on here and most messages from single men have been quite full on "hey babbeeee wanna fuck my man meat" etc.. ummm.. well, a little more tact would help..
not directing this at your approach but just input from a newbie.. maybe why women get fed up and genuine men suffer..

- Posted from rhpmobile
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Hotstepper85   Man 32yrs

You need a thick skin!

For moments like these:

While I 'tip my hat' at your freedom to put your face pic in your public gallery, in this 'place' where there seems to be lots of single good looking guys to choose from, it would put you in my 'no' pile pretty quickly.

Mrs F

Preeeeeetty much a sugar-coated way of saying 'Not handsome enough'.

There are plenty of people on dating sites with literally no empathy, and have total disregard for the other 'subhumans' on these sites.

TRY to stay positive amongst the rejection, lack of replies, and sarcastic responses...eventually you'll find someone who deserves your time!

I also don't think having a face pic in your profile is a bad thing...Lots of women encourage men to put face pics on their profiles...so I guess you have to take all the advice that comes your way with a grain of salt :)

Good luck
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
EarthQueen   Woman 46yrs

Another perspective

I know the perception is that single women are just getting loads of sex whenever they want but I don't believe thats the reality at all. (But if you are GO GIRL).
Its not always easy to meet men and not for the reasons you are probably imagining.

So, if you don't live in a major city its always going to be harder.
Then you have to like or be attracted to the person both through message and or picture. You have to push each others buttons in some way
OR you like them and then you meet them and theres no spark.

Throw kids and work into the mix. He has his kids on different days to you. So that becomes a problem for when you can meet. He can't host on certain days, you can't host on certain days.
He lives a distance away and you don't want to stuff him around when you know you can't meet that much or for a couple of weeks.
He/she works crazy hours and has little availability.
He lives with someone and can't host. He's married, he's separated but still lives with his ex , I'm a guest and can't contact people, he lives in the town you live in and thats too close for comfort, blah blah blah the list goes on.

So many times I have just chosen not to engage because even though I like the guy why start something that can't be finished or stuff someone around.

I guess what I'm saying is don't always take it personally. It may be nothing wrong with you at all, it might just be circumstances and don't read too much into it. People have complicated lives and you don't know their stories.

Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
swingalingson   Man 36yrs

Single guys are always in demand!

Couples love single guys. When was the last time you went to a swinger club party or event?

Couples love a single guy. But that does not mean that you will show and action will happen. You have to chat and interact.

Trust me there are sooooo many couples that will want a guy to meet or join them. Adding one person is easy for them, two may change the dynamics positive or negative.

If you end up going to a club...just ask the couples what they are into or looking for.

Be positive, don't let the bad minded time wasters bring you down. Keep on trying and couples and girls can sense if you are happy, or in a negative mood.

Think about it as a date. Great dates involve great starts not negative past endings. It is like a positive "groundhog" day all ova again.

So check out the clubs and when a couple invites you ova be positive. One can never have to many friends in the swinger scene.
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
PoisonIV   Woman 32yrs

-

eep i love a face pic in a public gallery - i personally dont need to be discreet

it is a numbers game but try and be engaging in your first message - pick things out of the profile to talk about



Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

okay

I don't see how having a face pic in public makes us less discreet Certainly not me. I value discretion also but just because we choose to show ourselves, doesn't mean we're going to tell the world who you are. Shit if I'd outed my playmates, I'd be biting the hand that feeds me, their identity will go to the grave with me, just sayin
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
markgreggson   Man 43yrs

Be interesting

And at least be interested enough to read and understand what is wanting.

Not every profile is self explanatory and some don't give anything away.

Find something interesting to ask or say. And always be the gentleman.

Mark.
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Sherlock_H   Man 33yrs

Numbers game, yes, but...

There are a few ways that you can tip the odds in your favour a bit and, luckily enough, all of them involve little more than being a fun and interesting human being.

It sounds like you have your profile mostly sorted. Your profile will not appeal to everyone, but if you're getting positive feedback from the sorts of people you want to meet, then so far so good.

With that said, I would recommend investing a little of your time and energy into the community. I'm new here myself, but I'm fast making friends by simply being visible on the forums where I can, making thoughtful contributions, and engaging other members directly in conversation in a public setting (forums), making conversation in a private setting (messages and chat) more natural and organic.

This approach is helped make me friends in philosophy forums, gaming forums and, yes, adult forums. This suggests to me that it's not specifically the subject matter that is important, but letting the community know that you're there, you care, and not going anywhere.

S.

- Posted from rhpmobile
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
SassyChic108   Woman 37yrs

Be patient

Patience is a virtue! Well I can understand how u feel but know there are lots of single male here too much competition there's like thousands of males & only few single female here which are already have FB, FWB, attached or cbf - can't be fucked like me just too picky ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜Besides not all women will be jumping from one guy to the other some still have their dignity too u know ๐Ÿ˜‰

I would suggest go on date finder u never know u might just get lucky & get picked by a couple or a single woman who needs sex or companion.

- Posted from rhpmobile
Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
I_touch_myself2   Woman 53yrs

Sherlock




Apr 20, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Shane_Bron   Couple Man 49yrs Woman 40yrs

Single males in the lifestyle

I havent read everyones response to your post but i have read your original post....so i will apologise now if i repeat what someone else may have said.

After been in the lifestyle for some years now i have noticed that yes single men do have a place in the lifestyle but in saying that there are a lot of single men that have given single men a really bad reputation by being so pushy....weird....and stalkerish....im touching on experiences at swingers gatherings which would definitely affect girls/couples views on single guys on here as well.....unfortunately single men are not a very wanted commodity in this game....its just the way it is....and i blame the fact some single guys can come across very desperate which can be very off putting....nothing worse than being at a party playing in the open with another couple or single lady and u turn around to see a single guy almost in ur personal space wanking himself off.....grrrr.

- Posted from rhpmobile
Apr 21, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Koolgrey   Man 43yrs

I...

...don't know about the "getting in" bit, but just like in real life, a big part of it is about networking.
Apr 21, 2017 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
DynamicCouple36   Couple Man 47yrs Woman 38yrs

Shane-Bron

Our sentiments exactly, and based on our personal experiences over the past 3 years , both on here and at swingers clubs / parties that we have attended.

We now only go to couples events.

- Posted from rhpmobile

Post Your Comments

  • Please do not post Party or Event details.
    The Adult Forums are not for the posting or organising of parties and events and as such will not be approved.
  • Please do not post anything that defames or villifies.
    We reserve the right to delete any post deemed inappropriate for this Forum, at any time.
Please login to Post a comment.

Register for free

Username: Password: Confirm Password: Email:

Search Forum Tags Advanced

Adult Forums


Adelaide & SA

Brisbane & QLD

Canberra & ACT

Darwin & NT

Hobart & TAS

Melbourne & VIC

Perth & WA

Sydney & NSW

Get social with us

Get our app

© 2001 - 2017 Digital Quarter Pty Ltd - All Rights Reserved
The word RedHotPie and the RedHotPie logo style are trademarks of Digital Quarter Pty Ltd. RSS